One of the things that drew me to Ishtar was the notion of a gender-diverse priesthood and a broad-spectrum notion that queer love or modes of existence were equally sacred to cis/hetero stuff.
But after reading the monograph "Masculinities and Third Genders... In the Ancient Near East" and the article "Bad Girls and Kinky Boys, the modern prostitution of Ishtar/clergy/cult," I have the following new understanding.
A. Apart from the Gala ritually performing lamentations in a feminine aspect and maybe shaving their beards, there was NOT gender variance in the faith. And also, they would chant like that for everyone.
B. The implications of ritual gender-ambiguity was used by ancient Sumero-Akkadians in daily life to ridicule Gala/Assinu/Kul'u as lesser, infertile or passive men, like in Roman society, where gay stuff was fine as long as the top was of greater status than the bottom, but then and only then. (Women or trans folk omitted in the discusison.)
C. Any other queerness was an invention of Victorian/Imperial age scholars who really liked the idea of a freaky ancient sex goddess with castrated priests as a way of showing how far humanity had come in developing to the "true" faith and "natural order".
And like... a lot of my prayers to Ishtar have centered around my gratitude for a goddess who would find my queerness as a sacred, or at least, neutral thing, and for her hand guiding me along paths in romance and transition.
So... it kind of is throwing me sideways that I may have just been totally making an ass of myself to a goddess who might not value any of that the way I thought. And that, frankly, praying to Ereshkigal in terms of that in death and irkalla, at least all us are equal, might be the closest thing I will ever get to the level of acceptance I was feeling ever again.
Thoughts, anyone?