I have always had feelings for on one of my close guy friends.. he knows but doesn’t express anything. (Mind you he’s an avoidant). He always says he’ll be my wingman but then get jealous if a guy talks to me. So i get mixed emotions.

we went out the other night and we were both dancing together. When we dance, I noticed a weird dynamic: he kept mostly throwing it back onto me. Like where I'm in front and he is the one grinding/throwing it back on me. We would switch off but i notice when drunk his walls are down and he was also letting me feel him and flirt.

Is it normal for guys to dance like this or is he confused? Is he just not into me, or is he maybe shy/intimidated? How do I figure out if he sees me as more than a friend without making things awkward?

I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.

Update: we’re second cousins once removed. Had to go over the family tree for that lmao.
And I’m 22, he’s 24.
But again rn it’s more about my feelings rather than us having kids lmao, I haven’t even thought this far.
And given that everything he’s doing can be explained from a family lens and is very plausibly deniable, idek why he’s doing all of that for me.

I’ve had a short situationship. On and off for maybe 4-6 months. I was not into the guy as much in the beginning, and in fact i’d be seeing other people… but then the guy ended it and at some point i realized i was fairly attached. Also i felt we really had a good time together. But he didn’t want to commit. He was mostly clear but things were still ambiguous. There were points he suggested relationships but was kinda flakey and unsure so I didn’t take those chances. And then he never gave in. I’m also partly avoidant (fearful avoidant) so I couldn’t reveal all my cards more clearly. But I genuinely tried to my capacity.

The thing is it’s been MONTHS now. And i still don’t like any other guy. Plus I still feel some longing or sadness for this guy. Especially when I get lonely.

Is it normal? I feel I should have gotten over it in like 3-4 months. Idk why it’s this way…

I’m 29 F and the guy is 32 M.

I’m trying to understand a situation with a guy I have history with, and I’d really appreciate objective opinions.
We met once and then talked for around five months as we were both travelling. The connection eventually became quite sexual/casual. Once I didn’t text him for a week because that month we were in the same town and he wasnt making any active plans to see me. So I didnt text him back for a week and he blocked me. Then he unblocked me again but I didn’t discuss what was bothering me. And a week later, he blocked me again and said he was seeing someone else now out of ego.

After around three months of no contact, he unblocked me and reached out to me again. He sent me a few messages and asked how I was. I replied warmly and told him what I had been up to, including some details about my life. I was friendly, altho I wanted to act cold but I didn’t as I thought past should remain in the past.

I didn't ask him many questions back or asked why he had reached out. I thought after few weeks I will ask him to gain clarity.

We chatted normally and I replied to his text. And a day later he blocked me again after 2 weeks of chatting!!!!

What confuses me is that nothing happened between us this time. There was no argument, no confrontation, and I didn't say anything rude or negative. He was the one who reached out, I responded, and then he disappeared and blocked me again.

Why do you think he reached out in the first place? Was he genuinely curious about me, nostalgic, testing whether I would respond, looking for attention/reassurance, or did he actually want to reconnect?

And why block me again when nothing bad happened? Did I make a mistake by being friendly to him and giving detailed replies to his text?

I’m not asking whether I should chase him. I’m not going to contact him elsewhere. I’m trying to understand what this behaviour might mean and what he could possibly want from me if he comes back again.

What do you think is going on here? If he ever comes back, how should I handle the situation and what should I say. I need help here. Should I act friendly again or in the first text itself I should confront about what happened?

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I 26F have had a situationship going on for the last few months with 35M but we’ve know each for a couple years. About a week ago I was having an awful week and was a little emotionally unstable I will admit (ie. I told him I liked him more than I realized but made it clear I wasn’t saying it because I wanted to date him I just was expressing that i liked him) he kind of brushed past it which was expected and I don’t know why I brought it up. Anyways we had loose plans to hangout Friday if he got out of his pre arranged plans early enough he got out later than expected so we didn’t see each other but he was pretty communicative about it. Here’s where it went down hill🤦🏻‍♀️ the following day he sent me a gif but nothing else so I didn’t respond until later that night in which I was frustrated he asked if I was upset and I didn’t see it for about an hour I texted back to no response so I tried to call (I wanted to see him) and he again did not respond. I then proceeded to get a little wine drunk and liquid courage kicked in and I very meanly told him to go do something with himself in a more explicit way and that I don’t care to hang out with him anymore since he didn’t seem to be interested . Well morning regret hit but he didn’t respond so I didn’t say anything either… it’s been 4 days radio silence he hasn’t reached out and I haven’t apologized. Is this done, does he no longer want to talk to me? Should I reach out and apologize for acting a bit crazy or should I just let it rest and hope for the best. I just want to know if he’s gonna reach out or if I should just let it go. We have a track record of him liking when I’m a little mean to him but I think I may have taken it too far this time. Advice and over all thoughts welcome thank.

What if two people has mutual attraction towards each other but both are avoidants. How to break the cycle?

I [18F] have been completely in love with the same guy [18M] for years now. Im aware of my age and anyone who wants to comment that im “too young to know what love is” can leave now.

We’ve been in a strange situationship for 3 years now, we say we love each other and he says I’m “everything”, and ultimately I’m the person he sees himself having a future with. He really feels like MY person and the thought of not having him in my life is really scary.

However, he’s had a difficult life so far, he struggles with bipolar disorder and is quite avoidant and struggles with being emotionally vulnerable, we’ve made lots of progress recently with being able to talk about things but even then it’s not very much information. Because of his bipolar disorder he’ll go through sudden phases of no-contact with me, he explained that it’s because he lashes out and “isn’t himself” and he doesn’t want me to see him like that.

I want to talk to him and explain that I’m happy to go through his episodes with him, and i don’t need it to be easy all the time because i really do love him and he’s so worth it. He says he’d love a relationship with me and I’d love one with him, it should be so simple but its not.

How should i go about talking to him without freaking him out? I’ve already asked if we can talk about it but now I’m struggling to start the conversation

Also sorry this is written really inarticulately, theres a lot going through my head right now and i just kind of word vomited

Basically nothing serious. I don't know what i am gonna do now on. I can't eat or sleep

it’s been about 2 weeks since we last talked, and over those 2 weeks i loosened my grip on what i thought i was holding onto. i finally pulled the plug & blocked her number, and it’s kind of bittersweet. our last conversation felt genuine, but in the back of my mind i knew i was being hot/colded. i went to the bar a few days ago with some friends & me and this one lady hit it off extremely well, but all night i kept having small thoughts about how it shouldve been us, even though this woman had me feeling brand new. what else can i even do to stop thinking of her? its just quick 5 second thoughts, but id prefer to not have them at all, thanks in advance.

hi all !!
im not necessarily new to situationships, ive been in one before (lasted abt two years on and off) and recently ive been seeing this new guy and im worried about it turning into a situationship.
at the beginning (as all men are), he was incredibly sweet and very into me. i wasn’t necessarily that into him (as more than a friend) but as time went on and i began seeing him more and interacting with him more i began to develop romantic feelings as well.
he used to literally adore me not to sound facetious or superficial but he’d shower me with gifts, buy me things, let me drive his car, listen to my shitty music, was attentive to my safety, my needs, and was emotionally incredibly present and caring. he called me pet names and was complimenting me at all times and made it very obvious he was into me. this dynamic went on for a little bit and eventually we had sex and he was still acting exactly the same after. like he wanted a relationship and i meant the world to him, etc.
now some time has passed and we’re both busy prepping for grad school exams (mcat for me, lsat for him) and we still talk a lot but recently conversation has dwindled down and so has affection. ive tried to remain affectionate but he doesn’t seem to reciprocate it and it feels like im honestly having a conversation with a friend or my brother more than anything. when ive asked to see him it’s been met with some variation of im so sorry, i wish i could, im just doing ______ at that time which is fine i understand obviously things are crazy now and life is busy but he doesn’t ever offer a time where he would be busy or would like to hang out.
i dunno maybe im reading too much into things, im just worried abt it going down the same rabbit hole it has in the past or that maybe he’s not into me anymore ? idk what could’ve changed besides life getting busy or maybe he met someone else but i guess im just looking for advice on what to do. i know i should talk to him but at the rate things have been going ask what are we or something of the sort seems like a bad idea or like it’ll just end up with me hurt and im not really ready to lose him or let go yet ig.
any advice is appreciated thanks in advanced :)

First, I want to say, this whole situation was…not great to say the least. And I am at fault for a lot of it. But I’m really in need of some advice that isn’t from close friends. I was in a “situationship” with a coworker of mine last year into earlier this year. When we first met, I felt like I had a premonition that I had just met my future husband, which played a role in this. It was not love at first sight, just an immediate feeling that I tried brushing off since he was quite younger than me. He was 23 at the time and I was 28. He is a coworker of mine that works in a different department. We used to hang out at the smoking area occasionally at work together and became pretty decent friends. Fast forward to the beginning of 2025. He became quite flirtatious and we decided we would finally hang out and go on a date. The date went well but I think both of us were quite nervous. Shortly after, I was dealing with a death in the family that hit me quite hard. I pretty much kept to myself and I wanted to remain private about it, but him and I would still occasionally chat. I went to therapy for grief and dealing with my adhd and started feeling better. I decided I wanted to reach out and really try with him again. He expressed that he had met someone but it was not official yet. She lives out of state but not super far and was coming to visit him the next day after this conversation. We spoke privately and kissed. It was great and it deepened my feelings for him more. We still talked a bit more afterwards, but things started picking things up between him and this new girl. I respected it, and let it go. I did miss him as a friend and we would occasionally chat at work briefly. I still had feelings for him but didn’t go any farther than just chats at work. One night a few months later, I woke up to “drunk” texts from him. Keep in mind, we really haven’t spoke much since the kiss. These texts were very flirtatious. The next day, he wanted to get online and game with me. It’s something we would do before, so I thought maybe we could both be open to a friendship again. He wanted me to come over and “fix his computer” which I declined. He became more and more flirtatious and wanting to see me more at work. It left me very confused. I reciprocated and occasionally flirted with him as well because I still did have feelings for him. We decided that we would hang out together and talk about stuff that we didn’t get a chance to talk about before he met his current girlfriend. I figured at this point, this early into the relationship, that his current relationship was likely going to end. We hung out, had a good time, and kissed again at the end of the night. Afterwords, he stated that we can’t tell anyone about this and that it stayed between him and I. This made me extremely angry and I stormed out of his car. We didn’t speak for a couple of weeks. We decided to talk and I told him that I was very serious about my feelings for him. Things became more and more intimate and physical between us at this time. He expressed he had a similar feeling(premonition) when we first met. I told him it’s time for him to make a decision. He expressed to me that he used to be polyamorous and this is very tough for him. He also told me that he cheated on her with someone else a few weeks after they became official. This struck me as odd, and told him that the relationship is likely not going to work between them despite being with me or not. He was going through a tough time moving out of his house and back into his parents house which he did not love, so I gave him some time to really think about it. At this point I was really falling for him. We were talking daily and gaming on the weekends. I brought up that he really needs to stop and make a decision. He stated he was still scared and it ended up turning into an argument. He begged me not to tell his girlfriend about this, and I said I really should because this is not right. I told him I loved him. And I really meant it. I’ve never been in love before in my life. But I knew I was. I took a month away from him. Complete no contact. Truth was though, I missed him despite how fucking horrible he was to me and to his gf. I still was wishing that things would be different. The cycle started over again. I feel fucking awful for it. This continued into earlier this year. We ended up sleeping together during a work trip. Yet again, it caused a huge fight. He forced me to delete our texts between us in front of him. I did, but recovered them afterwards. We haven’t spoken in months. About 6 months to be exact. Which is incredibly hard because we work in the same building and we purposely avoid each other. My job requires me to work all around the building so it interferes with my job a lot. I’m back in therapy because of all this. It has caused me a lot of emotional pain and trauma. And a lot of it is deserved. It feels like I’m left with all the baggage and he gets away with all of it scot free. I’m trying to date again, but I still think about him constantly. I miss him, but also hate him at the same time. Every day, I’m tempted to tell his girlfriend about everything. The guilt has been awful.

I know I got myself into this. And a huge part is my fault. I’m trying to move on from this, and heal and understand why I let this go on for as long as it did in the first place. Several days I have been tempted to reach out. And also, several days I’m so close to reaching out to his girlfriend. I’m at a loss of what to do. What would you do in my situation? We are coworkers, so there’s work dynamics in this. It feels like I am dealing with all the repercussions while he can just sweep this under the rug with no accountability. Please help.

me and my best friend started making out a few months ago. it started off as a casual thing but its became much more intimate. we slowly agreed to do sexual things and i had no trouble with what we were. over time he said he needed "more closeness" and we began holding hands, id lay in his arms, we had so many little moments. im so in love with him but he tells me he doesnt feel love in the way most people do. he told me that even though his physical actions make it seem like hes in love with me it doesnt to him mean hes in love with me. i dont know how to continue or if i can. we were such close friend and i know if we stop we wont be able to go back to how we were. i dont know how to not lose him but also not lose myself. i understand that he says it doesnt feel like love to him but to me it does. its not only his physical actions but the words he speaks. the way he calls me beautiful as i lay in his arms after sex or tells me i make him feel so safe. i planned on having one last good day with him and then cutting ties but i dont know if i have it in me to do it. i know he isnt using me or purposely trying to hurt me as hes been 100% honest with anything i ask and hes also an extremely good and respectful person. i asked if he would ever do this with another girl and he told me probably if the situation arose since he doesnt want a relationship.

I am wondering if this happened to anyone else: becoming or starting to do toxic behaviors while in a Situationship with someone who is obviously not good for them. Unfortunately, I’ve been strung along by my Situationship and I have very low self esteem and not a lot of dating experience. Over the course of his hot and cold behavior I became very toxic and started to do a lot of toxic behaviors. Some which I wouldn’t have ever thought of years before I met him. I was just wondering if I was the only one and how you dealt with it? I’m already going to therapy and I’m hoping to get over these toxic behaviors. To me I look back and I am surprised and disgusted with myself

So i been talking to guy for a month but he got practical exams so we didn't text for a week but when we texted the last time he said his exams will start from 21 july. I told him that my birthday is also on the same day. I jokingly told him to wish me on that day but i was sure he won't as his remembering memory power is low. And he then texts "i will remember it for u" . I wasn't serious or anything.

And we didn't text for one week as his practical are difficult soo it's understandable. On 21st July i wasn't expecting a text i was sure he won't remember. But i just went into discord and saw he did texted me wishing happy birthday 😭. I was shocked because i thought he would forget it .

He even says "my exam is in few hours but i randomly thought of u" he did wish me happy birthday, be safe before it. So I'm like I'm delulu or what

I (18F) met a guy (20M) on Fortnite 8 months ago. We became friends for about a month, but since it was my first time talking to a guy like this, I developed feelings. Scared of how attached I was getting, I abruptly ended the friendship. Over the next few months, I was busy with school and didn't think about him much.
However, once summer started, thoughts of him began consuming me again. Out of nowhere, I created an alt account, joined a custom game mode where he is an admin, and started roasting him. A mutual female friend (also an admin) encouraged me to reveal my identity to him, so I did, and then I disappeared again.
He was curious about why I came back, and that same "friend" ended up telling him that I like him. He confronted me, and after some persistent denial, I finally confessed. He explained that he wasn't in a good place mentally because his mother passed away a year ago. We had two long, deep conversations after that, but then he told me not to text for my own sake because he was afraid I’d get hurt, claiming he is emotionally cold and unable to give. After that, we went completely no-contact for a month, which left my brain spiraling.
Out of nowhere after that month, he sent me a Fortnite party invite. I joined and suddenly blurted out that I was upset and needed a clear answer about us. He asked, *"Do you want the truth to relieve your spinning thoughts? I don't love you nor do I have feelings for you."* I said okay, thankful for the honesty. But right after, he gave me mixed signals, saying: *"Don't text, I won't be texting for a month... or text when you need something... or just text whenever."*
I jokingly said I’d bother him with daily "good morning" and "good night" texts. Surprisingly, he started responding every day. We moved to TikTok and started having long daily chats about everything—his fears, his day, my day, and even sensitive topics. He started calling me nicknames, commenting on pictures I sent (like my hair and neck), and sharing pictures of himself!
Recently, he had a "depression episode" and vented to me. He apologized for not treating me the way I deserve, explaining that he has a short temper and sometimes bursts out or acts cold. Since I was always initiating conversations, I asked him directly: "Do* *you want me to leave?" He responded: "Leave where? Why would you leave? You're really nice to me and so affectionate. I just like to be alone sometimes."
However, since yesterday we haven't talked. We got into a small fight recently; I apologized, but the next day he only reacted to my message and hasn't really engaged.
Everything about us is extremely confusing to me. Is he genuinely struggling, or is he just using me for emotional comfort when he's lonely? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
TL;DR: Confessed to an online guy friend who rejected me claiming emotional issues. After a month of no-contact, he invited me to a game, explicitly said he has no feelings, but then started texting me daily, giving me nicknames, sharing pictures, and seeking emotional support. Now he's acting cold after a small fight. Are these mixed signals?

went on a date gave me followers and when I asked for clarity we stopped talking . Told him I liked him while I was drunk , we started talking and then ghosted me . And after few months last to last week we met in a hangout and he took my phone and unblocked himself then we started talking. This time I raised my bars because I really dont want to get hurt again. And I used to ghost him or keep him on delivered and post stories. So again we had a small talk and he kinda kept me on delivered. Mind you whenever I used to ghost him he used to send me reel to keep the conversation going. Im just idk should I send him a reel. I feel like im fucking up my self respect. Idk if he likes me or not. He watches my stories. Repost reels which are kinda related to our situation. Both of us doesnt want a relationship. Pls give me advice yall what should I do. He's in my spam account too. He's also an avoidant and im too. I was keeping my guards up this time and was also reposting and liking shady reels. He's bad at communicating too.

I [22F] have been talking to a guy [24M] and he does behave like a textbook avoidant person. Comes across very strong and then pulls away.

Lately I’ve been noticing a day going past where he doesn’t talk or a very late night brief check in and I was sick of it and needed clarity. At the same time he’s adding girls from dating apps and constantly online.

Today he sent a message saying “Hope you are well bby xx” after 48 hrs of no communication. I sent him a voice note saying that I’ve been feeling confused and put off by our communication lately and also I feel like a late night check in and not a priority and that’s not what I want from a partner. If that’s all you can give me it’s fine but in that case it’s better that we stay friends because I do really like you and respect you. I want to hear your perspective on what’s going on.

He said that he’ll come back with more details tomorrow as there has been a lot going on with flat move and work and said sleep well x. Has anyone experienced something similar like this when conflicts come up?

My English isn’t very good, so please bear with me.

I’m looking for advice about a situationship that ended.

We met while I was living abroad. At first it was casual, but we spent a lot of time together like a couple and developed feelings. He told me he liked me but wasn’t ready for a relationship because of age gap.so we never made things official.

Later I found out he had slept with someone else. He said it wasn’t wrong because we weren’t together, so I accepted his perspective even though it hurt. After that, I also slept with someone else because I started seeing our relationship as casual.

When he found out, he became very angry, which confused me because he had done the same thing first. There were also other things that hurt me. When I was sick, he went out drinking with other girl instead of checking on me, and he didn’t use a condom even after I asked him to.

I know I made mistakes too. He hated seeing me drunk at the bar where he worked because it was his workplace. But I went back to that bar; that bar was my favorite.However, I didn't welcome him. That was because we had fought after I saw him on a date with another woman with my own eyes, and I hadn't let go of my feelings due to various other things
I got drunk, danced with my friends, and the guy I had previously slept with talked to me for about five minutes. I wasn’t trying to make him jealous, but I understand why that embarrassed and hurt him, especially in front of his coworkers.

In the end he got so mad at me
We ended things over text. He said he wanted more respect and for me to communicate with him more and he was embrassed to his coworker
It seems his pride was hurt because his coworkers saw me getting drunk and hanging out with a man

I don’t want to get back together, but I regret that we never had a proper goodbye. I wish we had ended things with one honest conversation instead of messages.

For those who have experienced complicated situationships, do you think one final closure conversation is worth it, or is it better to let it go and move on?

Ok so me and this guy [m19] have been seeing each other. And we established (I asked him) if we were serious or not but we aren't in a relationship. And he just been texting me less and less, he stood me up 9 times falling asleep instead of picking me up when he said he would and sometimes he wouldn't say sorry, and he just didn't care as much as me.

So basically one time he stopped answering my texts for like a week and a half, like not even visualizing them. so I thought we were over and so I cried and cried and thought weren't gonna see each other ever again so a week later I slept with a random guy at the club [m25] and it was a one time thing. He isn't even from here, he's already back in Denmark.

The day after [m19] text me asking if I wanna go out one of these days. I say no and respond all dry like him. But yesterday I texted him and asked if he was free in the weekend and he said yes and we are gonna see each other.

GUILT HAS BEEN EATING ME ALIVE. I THOUGHT HE FULLY GHOSTED ME and he never put much effort in the talking stage but now he's back and I do wanna tell him we aren't right for each other cause I'm a very attached person and he isn't even if we have a lot lot lot in common and we do like each other.

I'm the type of person that never lies and guilt has been eating me alive. Do I tell him??? I really wanna tell him but I don't wanna make it look like an excuse for just wanting to sleep with someone else, and his past gf cheated on him with the whole town so I feel very very bad. I'm the most loyal girl ever in the world I even told my one night stand of that night about him. I really did love him even if we aren't right for each other and thought we were over. So do I tell him???? And if yes how????

Hi, so this person (28M, 5 years older than me), slid into my Insta DMs, 2 months ago. He started with this irresistable charm and rizz, which got me swayed. I really felt this intense spark since our very first conversation. There was this intense flirt and banter, we really hit it off. Then we started texting on and off, with few days apart. Sometimes he would initiate, sometimes me. I really found him cute, funny and smart, and he told me he liked me too and wanted to go on a date with me.

Then we started texting everyday, he would ask random questions about myself which i liked to answer, because his questions had this really novelty to this. In short, I got attached, really hard. He would call me on weekends and well, and I really enjoyed it. I got infatuated strongly, since I have sever anxious attachment style.

We live in different cities, and he would always ask me if I will visit his city. So, I decided to go meet him. I travelled 6 hours alone to a strange city, arranged residence myself, because he told me he lives with his family and it would be weird to bring a young guy to his place, since he has never hosted anybody before. It was understandable for me.

Well, here starts the part that traumatized me lol. The day I was to go meet him to his city, he had been actively making plans with me what we will do throughout the day, like he will come to my hotel room, do this fun stuff, he will take me out to do fun stuff together, and planning everything, but..... when i got to his city, and i asked him where he was... he said "omg i am sorry something really unexpected came, i have to take my family somewhere"...... I was totally devastated. One of my very close friends who lived in that city as well was willing to come see me too, but I apologized to him because I had plans with this man. So, i was waiting for him but he told me he will only be coming after 8 in the night. I felt so shocked, I was so excited to meet him and spend my day with him, but he literally made this excuse. I still am not sure if it was an excuse or a genuine reason, but i think he was mature enough to manage things and prioritize prior commitments.

Well, he told me he can meet at night, i was so pissed off I said "no thank you" and blocked him. After that, i broke down like crazy. Went through a literal panic attack, in that strange city, alone in my hotel room, crashed on the floor crying out loud. I then called my bsf whome i had said no to, and apologized to him crying about prioritizing that man over him, and told him to come meet me, because I was in such a bad position, and felt so alone and left out. So, my bsf came, consoled me, and he went out with me to eat out.

While I was out, I realized I just overreacted, and maybe he had a genuine reason. So, i took a deep breath, unblocked him, and told him that ok we will meet after 10. My bsf told me not get physical with him, I said ok, cuz i didn't want that to. So, after dropping my bsf, i met him at a cafe. And I showed him explicitly how disappointed I was in him. He showed he felt bad and guilty, which made me get my guards down. He was all sweet and nice. But since it was very hot outside I offered him to go to my room, and he agreed and told me we can watch a movie together lmao.

Well, we got to our room, and he was the one started touching me and kissing me neck, and one thing led to another. So, this is how our first (and last?) meet up went.

Here are some things about him that raised my suspicions about him. i want to know if these are truly to be cautious about or was i just overreacting:

1. Since the beginning, He was a big time love bomber, future faker, and a fast forwarder. He was the one who wanted to take me out on a dates, put a ring on my finger, marry me, and move in with me, even without meeting me before. The day when we met, i confronted about that and he told me he does get non serious many times.

2. During our initial talking stage, he dropped weird long texts about how "he likes to figure out people, get to their minds and souls, give them what they need, become an addiction to them, likes control and thrill of chase". I found it really weird and was about to block him but he told me not to mind as he was just being psychopathic.

3. He talked to me about polyamory many times. He used to jokingly tell me that he will add me in his "polycule". But i explicitly told him evertime that I am a strictly monogamous person and I cannot tolerate cheating.

4. He always used to talk about other guys he had interacted / has been interacting. I never talked to him about any past interaction, at least not as much as he did.

5. After our first meetup, when I got back home, he was still actively texting me, keeping up the old convo, but out of nowhere, told me not to catch feelings so soon (when he was the one who was actively flirting and offering to date since the starting). And told me that we have a distance and travelling often wont be sustainable, and he needed to save money, and stuff. And then,,,,,,,,,,, GAVE ME WHOLE FCKING LIST OF GOOD AND BADS IN ME. He literally said stuff like i am too skinny for him, too over energetic for him that i might overwhelm him, i am too caring that i gave him hope and it scared and what not. It was very weird and caught me off guard.

After that I told him calmly that he is right, there is distance (even though it didn't matter to me that much), and i am not his body type and personality type, according to him, and told him thats why we should split ways.

But,,,,,,,, he didn't let me go. He told me I am his type, he was just telling his preference, and start bargaining his own obstacles, like we can do something about distance, that i can come visit him every other week and he will take up all the expenses and stuff. I said okay, and I stayed. He told me i am impulsive too, which i apologized for and told him that i am working on myself and willing to change.

The last conversation, after which i FINALLY BLOCKED HIM, was very weird from his side. he asked he needed pics of us toghther. Why? SO THAT HE COULD ASK FROM RANDOM PEOPLE IF WE LOOK GOOD TOGETHER OR NOT. Not only this, he told me he has sore throat because HE DEEPTHROATED A GUY A LITTLE TOO HARD (this was exactly one day after we met). So, he was already sleeping with other guys. Idk ig he was trying to make me jealous. Well, i was getting pissed off.

So, i asked him if he plans to be exclusive with me? he said "I DONT MIND EXCLUSIVITY, BUT RIGHT NOW I AM IN MY HO ERA". Ewww wtfffff. Then, i asked him "WHERE DO WE STAND?". He replied "WE ARE PLATONIC ROMANTIC FRIENDS WHO ARE SEXPLORING". I lost my shit on platonic. I crashed out and told him he is a fucking weirdo, and blocked him.

I stayed No Contact for two weeks, But, I couldn't stop thinking about him, it's not like he was very special, but he got me hooked so good. he texted and called me almost everyday, and gave me enought attention and affection. I fell so bad for him.

So, today, in the motivation that i will just stay indifferent and friends with him, if thats what he wants, I broke the no contact and told him that i shouldn't have unblocked and apologized to him. i don't know where is it gonna go now.

What are your thoughts on this?

I called him today and asked when am I seeing him, he told me that I relax he shall tell me. I have not seen him for the past two weeks, we have been in a situationship for three months now. We see each other weekly, but the past two weeks he has been so distant. He does not pick calls yet I see his posts daily. He gets a bit rude whenever we have a call convo. What does this state depict? Should I leave him already?

Here’s a brief extract on how I have allowed this guy to treat me. We have been at this for four months.
This guy has ruined me, because I have allowed him to. I am genuinely appalled by the fact that asking the bare minimum from this man causes him to get defensive and hostile. I have done anything and everything to try and make this work: in the beginning he wanted nothing serious, he wanted to explore, he wanted to see other people. I wasn’t okay with it and after months of blood sweat and tears, he decided, unprompted, that he only wanted to date me.
I was yet to realise that the real problem was not exclusivity, the problem was that I was constantly being treated as if I was worth nothing. He wouldn’t be planning anything, kept undefined connections with girls he had met on dating apps (he wasn’t dating them technically😩), hardly ever asked how I was doing, wasn’t curious about me, he even went as far as saying I never cared about him despite me staying through EVERYTHING.
I am mad at myself because now that it’s over, I feel like I have nothing left. I feel so empty. I poured my heart out to someone who doesn’t seem to care about me. Someone who told me “I have bigger problems than worrying about how my 2-day absence makes you feel”. Someone I have totally shrunk myself for.
We have ended things today and I genuinely hope he doesn’t reach out anymore. We have a shared friend-group but I hope we’ll manage given that holidays are starting soon.
Feel free to share your experience too, if you’d like. I’m genuinely so heartbroken I can’t even put my sadness into words.

Thank you for reading this.

EDIT: typo