Do not read this any further if you haven't gotten this far. I HATE spoilers, you can read them in the beginning of the texts on these posts. That's why I'm trying to pad this post off long enough so that at this point you won't read this is if you haven't gotten this far in the show OR this post.
Are we good? No one here yet that hasn't been this far in the show? I'm doing this for all my people who are tired of all the spoilers.
Anyone who is reading beyond this point wants to be spoiled or has gotten this far. I'm not going to recant how I got to this point at this time in my life. This is a semi-rewatch, didn't get past season 9 in 2020. Which was a drunken binge for me on Netflix in the first few weeks of covid. So this is really a full watch for me over the past 6 months. And the last season is all about that time in covid. Full circle, I guess.
Frank has alcoholic dementia. That's where I'm at right now. The reveal of the end of that episode. Because of the spoilers I knew that Frank dies at The Alibi, without knowing the specifics. I've been treating it as if it wasn't a spoiler, we all knew he would at some point for the show to end. But knowing this, knowing he's going to die but not exactly how... hits too close to home for me.
My father was an alcoholic my entire life. Not the entertaining Frank way, just depressing. Not vocal or violent, just drunk and asleep. Just physically there, but not actually there if that makes sense. But also, when he was awake scheming all the time. Not on Frank's level at any means. But that's what I grew up with. And in later years, I had nothing to do with him. I was the youngest and got the brunt of it in childhood. But my older sister had to deal with it, until his death 11 years ago.
Without going further into it, I was told that he was diagnosed with Alcoholic Dementia. Which made sense from what I was hearing at the time. He died from his alcohol and drug use, which in the end from what I understand hadn't happened in years. Actually I'm speaking out of context. I don't really know the details. They kept me out of the loop about this, and even when I ask to this day I get vague answers.
Because I wanted nothing to do with my father after one point in my life after hearing things after my parents divorce. Like 15 years after the divorce, hearing what really happened from my mother. I didn't have much to do with him up until that point, because he was so far gone to me.
His death meant nothing to me. He was no father to me. Good fucking riddance. And I'm seeing this and it's hitting too close to home. Everything that happened with my father at the end, how he was behaving was alcoholic dementia. And I don't know the details, bc I don't want to know and I don't have to know. But I do ask here and there over the years, bc I want clarification and I get little tidbits here and there from family members. We're poor Alabama southerners, same difference than this show. Huge family, related on both sides of my family. Not directly, not kissing cousins. Just that in that rural aspect of Alabama, down the line a little bit, we're related. I mean my father's side is so big publicly that I have a relative that was a senator/congressman/law maker of Alabama a few years ago. I don't get into politics so I don't remember what it was exactly.
So I'm not ready to see more. I'm putting off watching the end of this series and after that episode. That was too heavy for me.