When they failed to deliver that new A.I. model powered by the [REDACTED] recovered from what used to be CERN, we didn't think anything of it. Experiments fail all the time. Just pay out the life insurances, hire new interns, rinse and repeat. That's science.

But has anyone actually seen anyone from site 727 since they announced the failure? Like in person? We keep getting emails and phone calls from people there. No one's acting different. They're still filing reports and conducting research just the same. But there's something... off.

I'm going to go pay the site a visit. I'll go unannounced and see if I'm just going crazy like that vent guy.

[Edit]

Ok, I paid them a visit. It's actually really nice over here! I think I'll just stick around for a while and conduct my research from this location instead. You can go ahead and give away my office stuff. I have everything I need here. Cheers!

Just left and interview and they said they would send me an offer letter later today! I am excited and nervous and bursting at the seams to tell someone (other than my husband, I already told him) but I don't want to tell anyone until it's actually happening.

I've learned that it's better to tell people what you've done, rather than telling them what you're going to do.

Still have to accept the offer letter, do the drug test, sign some papers, and everything. Wouldn't want to tell people and then something falls through the cracks and it doesn't happen.

Now that I think about it, he's returned from the vents a suspicious number of times. He's still a fine intern (aside from his apparent love for the vents) so I don't really care that much either way. But just to be sure, does anyone remember where the department of doppelganger detection was again? Normally I'd ask Cameron on subfloor 10+-5.66% but something about him seemed.... off

If you hear him banging from within please let him out and dispose of him if he's too far gone, he's got some semi-important documents on him that I need back

Not the whole family, but rather my father.

Gifting a paper tulip to a girl (not dating yet).

Not continuing to learn German (I can choose not to, and he disagrees).

Rivalry with my classmate (he's acting gay, trying to make me date other girl, with only reason being me texting her ONCE, and just being an idiot).

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13wnG-iqahAgC6zmKbw23beoeH0zUIshEENArteOkVzg/edit?tab=t.0

My coffee tastes extra brown today. And the air in section Lambda smells like umami.

Did they remember to shut that thing off after removing the eighth continent?

For the record I was working on 24 December, however I was on Sublevel 28B and I stayed there my whole shift.

I did help out when the alarms went off but, again for the record, I arrived at the scene AFTER the killbots were put into Sleep Mode and Vent Tigers had been corralled.

I helped with the intruder's corpse (obese, elderly civilian... white hair and beard, red suit... although coulda been white and just stained with all the blood) and the hallway cleanup, as well as cataloging the contents of his "bag of holding" which held quite a lot.

I also helped neutralize the intruder's 8 beasts, on the rooftop, which were apparently used to power his aircraft.

On a side note, Chef has confirmed that we'll be eating good for several weeks.

What is this place

It's even secret to me. Maybe since before the dawn of time. Maybe since 2011. Who really knows?

Do you see that?

Buahahaa

After that interesting visit, we decided to close the wormhole.

We have also destroyed all documentation and staff related to its research so it can never be formed again.

There have been lots of questions; Most of which will not be answered. But I will provide responses to a select few:

What year were they from?

In their time, the Earth hasn't existed for trillions upon trillions of years. Such measurements are invalid.

Were they human?

They bore no resemblance to humans or any known species.

What did they say the heat death of the Universe looked like?

Dark.

What did they want from us?

We believe their goal was to extract negentropy from our Universe.

Did you really get cookies if you followed them through the hole?

We would ask the one's who went through, but they have trouble answering questions due to being atomized.

Was what they said about [REDACTED] true? Are we really [REDACTED]?

No. It lies. Disregard. Humans are not meant to believe this.

Now get back to work.

Dept. of Internal Reporting
QTRE Number: 6642080
ALERT LEVEL: 8-455

REPORT STATUS: Writing reports on report backlog for congruity of reporting reports. Awaiting new information for new reports to report on. Will maintain reporting on prior report status to ensure continuation of the reporting department reports.

REPORT DATE: F. 18-88-46745

SIGNED: Director of the Reporting Dept.

APRIL FOOOOOOOOOOOLS!

Hello all, during some recent renovation of an unused intern disposal vault the following message was found scrawled under several floor tiles:

To whoever swapped vials MDFA-2 and NDFA-1 in lab 74,

Project [redacted] needs to be terminated. I have been trapped in the floor for two years now. I sustain myself on crumbs and overheard gossip. Please, if it still remains in inventory, the vial RDFA-5 at the back of the blue refrigerator will fix EVERYTHING. I need you to pour it out on the floor.

P.s. you need to eat better. Doritos and orange juice is not a nutritious lunch. I can only imagine the hue of your stomach.

P.p.s. Joanne is sick of hearing about your puppets. Keep that in mind next time.

If you can read this message, that means you have somehow slipped into a parallel three dimensional slice of reality via a four dimensional medium.

This happens somewhat regularly to staff at facility 19, due to the on site testing of [REDACTED].

Don't panic. As panic will alert them to your presence.

Take a deep breath. Retrace your steps exactly to find the rift you fell through.

Do not read anything beside this message.

Do not attempt to perform any complex mental math.

Do not speak to anything. Even if one of them calls your name.

Follow these steps exactly to improve your chances of returning by a satisfactory amount.

Tired of a boring, lonely life full of coherent physical concepts?

Visit Naked Singularities and get acquainted with the breakdown of known physics.

Stare deep past the extreme gravitational lensing and accept the sweet embrace of madness upon witnessing the cosmic absurdity of the singularity.

Shatter your preconceptions of basic reality. Forget physics' broken promise of a coherent world. Keep your gaze into oblivion. And come closer...

• The previous was an example of spam email received over the [REDACTED] net. Please stay vigilant.