Hello fellow new parents!

I wanted to offer some education regarding SIDS since there was a recent post about it, and I imagine many of us (myself included) have very legitimate fears about it.

SUID vs. SIDS

SIDS is a biological anomaly that is not obvious or observable via an autopsy. SUID (Sudden Unexpected Infant Death) is a newer umbrella term that SIDS falls under, but also includes accidental suffocation and asphyxiation.

As of the most recent studies, SUID impacts 0.1 percent of babies. If possible, I’d love each of you to take in a big deep breath and read this next part.

The odds are in your baby’s favor.

Years ago there was a national push for safe sleep practices, where babies are put to sleep alone (no bed sharing) on their backs, in an empty crib or bassinet. The number of deaths classified as SIDS fell dramatically. This showed researchers that many deaths once classified as SIDS were likely related to sleep environment and would now be classified differently under the broader term SUID.

And according to the CDC, up to 98.5% of SUIDS deaths (which again includes SIDS) had at least one unsafe sleep factor at the time of the tragedy.

Something else that’s important to note, because things like suffocation and rebreathing deaths cannot be observed on an autopsy, in these tragic cases, the cause of death can sometimes be listed as SIDS, which as I mentioned, true SIDS is the medical anomaly.

THE TRIPLE RISK MODEL

One of the leading scientific explanations for SIDS is the Triple Risk Model. Three risks are most likely to be present in the event of SIDS, often working as a chain, one that we can break at point #3. Breaking the chain doesn’t guarantee safety, but the science suggests it helps significantly.

(1) A biologically vulnerable baby, these are the ones who may experience the anomaly, which they believe is largely caused by an underlying brainstem abnormality that may impair the baby's ability to wake or respond appropriately to low oxygen or high carbon dioxide.

(2) The critical development period. This is when a baby’s brain and body changes functions for sleep and breathing. This is why ages 2-4 months are the most critical. Some speculate that vaccines cause SIDS but it is worth noting that vaccines and this window just happen to coincide.

(3) An environmental factor. A blocked airway, cigarette smoke, suffocation, rebreathing, overheating, etc.

Research shows that the following reduces the third risk significantly (even meeting one or two of these recommendations is good!)

(1) Safe sleep. Again, alone in their empty bassinet or crib.

(2) Room sharing. While the jury is still out on exactly why, it is speculated that subtle noises parents make in the middle of the night can help keep the baby’s brain alert and avoid falling into too deep of a sleep.

(3) Having a fan blowing GENTLY. Some studies suggest this is effective by keeping fresh air moving around baby’s face to reduce the risk of rebreathing (inhaling CO2 into their lungs, this can happen if the sleep surface is too soft (why couches, adult mattresses, baby loungers are not recommended) or if baby is on their stomach (before they’re old enough to roll).

(4) Offering a pacifier has been shown to reduce occurrences and the leading theory is that it keeps the brain engaged and keeps their airway open.

(5) Breastfeeding. Breastfed babies are generally easier to rouse. That said, formula feeding does not increase SIDS risk, it just doesn’t offer the same protection.

(6) Sobriety and maintaining a smoke-free environment for your baby.

This is more of a public opinion recommendation — using a pulse/ox monitor. While monitors like the Owlet have not been shown to reduce or stop SIDS, they can possibly alert you to intervene if baby’s pulse or oxygen levels become poor. There currently isn’t any research that shows that if SIDS begins, parents can intervene and stop it, but this doesn’t mean it can’t either, there’s just no definitive proof and there’s no way to ethically study this. HOWEVER, occasionally the Owlet has been used as a safety net to start or continue sleeping practices that are not recommended, so please keep that in mind. Additionally, some parents report feeling more anxious with the use of these kind of monitors. I mention these because of their rise in popularity and are frequently discussed in comment sections regarding SIDS and likely to pop up in a comment on this post. My pediatrician said they are “complementary” to the expert recommendations.

My goal of writing all of this out is to provide both education and some comfort as many of us face the scary reality that yes, SIDS does exist, but we are not powerless in it. My prayer is that all of our precious and beloved babies grow up happy and healthy, and that their parents are able to get some sleep at night despite the very natural anxiety parenthood brings.

If desired I can make a similar post on PPA and intrusive thoughts if anyone is interested.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513399/

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/13646-sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids

https://publications.aap.org/aapgrandrounds/article-pdf/51/6/69/1641689/gr+june+2024_69.pdf

https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/153/3/e2023061984/196646/Characteristics-of-Sudden-Unexpected-Infant-Deaths

Hello again! This is a requested follow-up to my post about SIDS, but this time we will be looking at postpartum anxiety (PPA) and intrusive thoughts.

DISCLAIMER: This post is not a substitute for any form of healthcare. While I will share some “educated tips” I by no means want to give the impression that anything in this post is a cure for PPA or intrusive thoughts.

PPA

A reasonable amount of anxiety is to be expected for new parents. Anxiety is not an enemy. It’s essentially our brain’s threat detection function. Anxiety sounds alarms prior to something unsafe happening, which is why anxiety often presents as, “what ifs…”

For new parents, this can look like:
What if my baby gets sick?
What if my baby isn’t eating enough?
What if my baby goes through sleep regression?

Anxiety wants us to explore and answer these questions in advance. So it will ask the question, wait for an answer, and then scamper off for a while and let you return to your baseline. We’ll put a pin in this for now.

Anxiety becomes “disordered” when it becomes your baseline. You spend more time than not worrying, and the worry is accompanied by physical symptoms of some kind. High heart rate, sweating, muscle tension, digestive issues, etc. Another threshold for disordered anxiety is its controllability i.e. you can’t focus on other things, or it doesn’t respond to rational thinking and the same what ifs continue to return over and over again, or the what ifs become more and more unlikely but feel very likely.

What if the Canadian wildfires reach me and my baby… in Florida?
What if our house collapses for no reason?
What if someone tampered with this unopened, sealed can of formula?

By the way, anxiety absolutely contributes to physical exhaustion, and new parents don’t need MORE of that. If you are experiencing this level of distress, talk to your doctor or pediatrician. You deserve to have a sound mind, you deserve to focus on your baby instead of irrational worries. You deserve to feel good. Needing a little help with that via talk therapy or medication is perfectly okay.

TLDR; Occasional controllable “what ifs” are normal, distress is not. If your worries are adding to your stress, it’s time to talk to your doctor.

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

Anxiety asks “what if…” whereas intrusive thoughts regenerate those what ifs as extremely distressing images, words, or what feel like urges. Instead of just asking “what if the Canadian wildfires reach me and my baby” you IMAGINE your baby surrounded by fire. Instead of asking “what if my baby slips from my arms while bathing” you imagine your baby going under the water and staying there.

Anxiety isn’t always distressing. Intrusive thoughts always are… but that’s actually by design, and it has a name: Ego-dystonic.

Ego-dystonic means that these thoughts go against your values and character.

If you feel so inclined, take a deep breath and read that sentence again. This is one of the reasons we feel like we’re going crazy when we have these thoughts, and that feeling is heavy and scary, but remember, it is just a feeling, and feelings are not facts.

Now, occasionally you will hear of something called postpartum psychosis. Postpartum psychosis is completely different from postpartum anxiety or OCD. It involves a loss of touch with reality, such as delusions, hallucinations, or severe confusion, and requires immediate emergency medical care. Thankfully, it is very rare.

So… if ego-dystonic thoughts are against our values and make us feel crazy… why do we have them? This is simply your maternal brain in overdrive. It’s simulating the worst of the worst situations in an attempt to help you prepare for them. Even though these thoughts usually don’t end with us saving our baby from the fire, or pulling our baby out of the water (referring back to the past examples), or stopping ourselves from intentionally dropping or throwing the baby, these thoughts are like a mental dress rehearsal for a play that won’t be performed.

The intrusive thoughts are saying, “Look at this terrible thing. Now, how are you going to make sure it won’t happen?”

You may notice yourself becoming highly emotional after these ego-dystonic thoughts. You may temporarily hold your baby tighter while you walk, you may get the urge to test your smoke detector, and you may take extra precautions during bath time. You may not even notice the connection between the thoughts and these behaviors.

Another side note, if the intrusive thoughts become very frequent and result in repeated behaviors, like checking the smoke detectors, frequently checking to see if baby is breathing at night and feeling unable to stop, or refusing to bathe baby because of what the intrusive thoughts showed you, you may be experiencing postpartum OCD, which is common and treatable. If the intrusive thoughts are commonly about you causing harm to your baby, that can sometimes be referred to as Harm OCD. Yes, it has a name, and that means you’re not alone in it.

Now, what can we do about it? Again, this is where I will offer some tips, but they should not replace talking to your pediatrician and seeking therapy. These tips will not make the anxiety or thoughts go away alone, but they may possibly help you feel better in the moment and turn down the volume on some of the alarms.

(1) Don’t try to force the thoughts or feelings of anxiety out. Simply acknowledge them. “Oh, I’m having a really distressing intrusive thought” or “Hmm… there go those what-if questions popping up again.”

(2) Declare what’s happening in the here and now. “Right now, my baby is safely sleeping in my arms, not being dropped.” “Our house isn’t on fire right now.” “My baby isn’t even near any water… by the way is it time for me to hydrate?”

(3) Think of what you can practically, reasonably control in the scenarios. “When I give the baby his next bath, I can control how slowly and carefully I maneuver him.” “I can make sure I have a good hold on the baby before I stand up and walk with her.” “I can grab the baby and head toward the closest exit if there is a fire.” “If the thought of baby drowning scares me, I can look up local swim lessons to enroll them in when they’re old enough.” On that same note, remember what we pinned further up? Sometimes it helps to actually ANSWER the reasonable what-if questions.

What if my baby gets sick? Then I can check their temperature, monitor them, and schedule a doctor appointment.

What if my baby isn’t eating enough? I can talk to our pediatrician about ways to increase calories if necessary.

What about sleep regression? My partner and I can talk about how we can tackle it in shifts, or I can see if a friend or relative is willing to help us for a day or two.

(4) Use your senses to ground yourself. What are 5 things you can see in that moment? Maybe your baby sleeping peacefully, or the sunshine outside, or the pattern/graphics on your baby’s clothing. What are 4 things you can hear? Your baby cooing, yourself breathing, the AC running, etc. What are 3 things you can feel? The added weight of your baby in your arm, your feet on the floor, the warmth of the bath water you’re running. What are two things you can smell? Your baby’s breath? The lingering smell of the coffee you didn’t finish? And what is one positive thing you can declare about yourself? “I am a present and attentive parent.”

Everyone experiences anxiety to some degree. Per the CDC, postpartum anxiety impacts 1 in 4 mothers, though we also have to account for cases that aren’t reported, so the number could be higher. And roughly 95% of mothers will experience some level of intrusive thoughts.

In other words: You are FAR from alone, and you are FAR from crazy. It feels awful, sure, but experiencing these things means your brain is operating as it should, but if it becomes distressing/disordered, it may be doing it a little too well.

Look at you, overachiever. 😉

Reach out to your doctor or pediatrician if you feel like you need support. You don’t have to push through any degree of distress without help.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6429780/

https://www.americashealthrankings.org/explore/measures/postpartum_anxiety

International OCD Foundation Perinatal Guide

Several baby books I’ve read say teaching independent sleep before 4 months is easiest / best as babies are more malleable. However I’ve read elsewhere that babies aren’t old enough before 4 months to really ‘learn’ going to sleep by themselves. When’s the best time to do it - where success is independent sleep most quickly and with least distress to baby

What is the research saying about forcing a child to apologise? My understanding is that we shouldn’t do it because it doesn’t actually teach empathy and should model apologies instead though I can’t find where this idea has come from. All I could find was a Psychology Today article saying we should force them to apologise.

My husband and I are at a crossroads- he wants to sign up our daughter for a “stem” preschool that seems to be marketing itself as an educationally “elite” preschool. She is at a daycare that will move her up to a preschool class when she meets the age.
I am balking a bit at the concept of an elite preschool in general. It feels like good marketing- what would be called playing with building blocks at her current place being sold as “developing critical thinking, geometry and engineering skills” at this new place. It’s blocks. She is doing great where she is. The teachers are wonderful, she has friends she really likes. And they do a great job of integrating play and education.
I don’t know that much about the curriculum of the new place but I don’t see too much of room for improvement.
There are several reasons why the new school doesn’t work for us logistically- the hours are shorter where we often are rushing to pickup and drop off already, they follow a school schedule (meaning weeks off for holidays and summers off) and they don’t have a care option for our younger children.

FWIW- we are socioeconomically privileged with high educational achievement in both parents. We read and do puzzles with her daily. We are beginning to teach math and phonics at home. Minimal to no screen time.

I mention that to say I totally understand how high quality preschool education can absolutely make all the difference in children who are already disadvantaged. Just not sure what it would add here.

Thanks in advance!

For example, my 13 month old has started refusing several foods that she previously enjoyed, but I learned that if I mash said food into a patty/fritter form and pan fry it then she'll readily eat it. (For our specific situation, she has several food allergies as well so already on a restricted diet even without the pickiness.)

This seems to be a popular practice as I've seen many other parents make hidden veggie smoothies, muffins, etc. I'm just wondering if there's any data on whether this might end up excaberating picky eating by hiding the food instead of serving it in a more obvious way.

I’ve searched in this subreddit and elsewhere and I know the evidence is pretty solid that living near highways has a negative effect on children’s health. But I’m trying to look at the nuance of our situation and determine what exactly is that “minimum distance”. Or if there even is one? 

My question is not for a house near a freeway, but an elementary school that’s adjacent to major freeway in a major city. The distance from edge of freeway to edge of school property is ~300ft. There are trees and a wash in between them. The actual playground is just under 500ft away from the edge of the freeway. Considering that in elementary school children are outside for like an hour and half or so, how do I balance the evidence of the harmful effects to this actual situation? Is this considered a limited exposure?

I’ve read through the body of several studies but there isn’t a magic number cited. California code states new schools must be more than 500’ away. 

I came looking for input from science minded people how you would weigh the studies against this situation (not the home but the school, limited time outside, etc). I haven’t toured the school yet but plan to ask if they used air filtration for inside the buildings. 

Also my husband grew up 2 houses away from a freeway, so I feel like this isn't a big deal to him.

Hi everyone! Our 8-month old had 2 bottom teeth come out. He is breastfed and has recently discovered that biting the nipple elicits, for him, entertaining reactions from mom. Since we cannot not feed him, and he enjoys the bottle as much as the boob, there are no real consequences. What are the expert recommendations on how to introduce NO without traumatising him?

Is there any evidence for what foods to prioritise when starting solids?
There is so much conflicting advice online and I’m looking for evidence based approaches.
Should I start with vegetables? Meat? Prioritise certain nutrients? I know zinc and iron are important but looking for some research on whether it’s best to prioritise certain things or give variety of everything over first 6 months

I used to rock my 6 month old to sleep between 20:00–21:00 and it could take up to 30 - 40 minutes. A few days ago, I started waiting until she shows clear sleep cues (she rubs her face a lot when she’s tired), and now she falls asleep within about 5 - 10 minutes of rocking. I also do a dream feed about 2 hours after she falls asleep.

My question is: is it better at this age to wait for her tired cues or should I stick to a fixed bedtime? I’ve heard routines are important for babies, but does that mean a strict bedtime is necessary or is it okay to follow her natural rhythm for now?

Hi everyone! I'm a doctoral student and mother of 2 researching how parents' early learning beliefs relate to infant attention. 
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First time Mom here with an awesome baby. When people ask about his temperament and I tell them he’s been incredibly easy, I always get the “Ohh just wait for the second“ or “the first always tricks everyone into the second”.

Any evidence that the 2nd baby is generally more difficult than the first? & why would that be?

My husband's family has a few people with a crustacean allergy that onset later in life (in most cases teens) despite being a regular part of their diet. It also gets worse with each new exposure. I also have a few friends with the same allergy experience.

We are doing allergen exposure at the moment and it's got me wondering - does repeated exposure at this age actually help prevent this kind of late onset allergy? Or is it just going to happen if it's going to happen? And why does it happen?

I’m looking for some insight from other parents. Is there any argument for sending a 22 month old (no developmental delays) rather than staying home to be with her primary caregiver and nanny in the afternoons (4 hours max)? What’s optimal - is my conundrum. She will learn French (a new language for her) at the daycare and get peer exposure, but she has an enriching environment at home with constant 1:1 attention.

It’s such a hard decision. Please share your thoughts.

I know sleep is important for a developing brain but how detrimental is it for a baby to have no naps at all at 13months? If I roll with no naps will that actually impact his development?

For context, baby has been on one nap since 8months old and for the last week or so has had no naps through out the day. He’s always had low sleep needs. Nighttime sleep is from 8pm to 6am waking every 1.5-2hrs. I know this would probably improve if he had more daytime sleep but it’s become impossible to get him to nap.
He doesn’t seem overtired at all, I try for sometimes a few hours to get him to sleep in the day and he’s just full of energy and seems bored out of his mind when I try get him to sleep. As soon as I give up he goes back to playing happily. He doesn’t get overly grumpy or show any signs of tiredness.

I’ve brought this up with child health nurses but they seem more concerned about me in regard to the nighttime wakings. That doesn’t bother me, I’m more worried if there will be negative consequences in going to no naps at this age. They usually assure me “if he really needs to sleep he’ll sleep” but I’d like to hear this communities opinions

I think I’ve used the wrong flair but can’t change it now sorry :/

I have a 10.5 month old who only falls asleep being held while drinking from a bottle. I cannot imagine him suddenly being able to fall asleep another way in September - how much damage will it cause to keep going for a while after that?

My plan is to switch to water in the bottle once he’s off formula, since I know the sugar in milk is bad for teeth overnight (I know I should do it now since he’s got teeth but we’re struggling to get enough formula into him as it is because he’s obsessed with solids), but I have no idea how to stop the night bottle.

I’ve got awful teeth because my mom was on antibiotics while pregnant with me (she had meningitis, so it was necessary, but I’ve had a LOT of fillings) and I don’t want to make him deal with dental issues too.

He drinks out of a straw cup already so I’ll be switching to that during the day, but I don’t think that’ll work for bedtime.

TIA!

My child has a tendency to lay in the crib staring at the baby monitor at night. The camera emits infrared light so we can see at night and I know that your pupils etc don't adjust to it like normal light. Is there harm?

 it safe for me to baby wear tomorrow, or do I need a stroller?

It is going to be a high of mid-80s tomorrow and we are gonna be outside for hours. So far, I have only worn my baby, except for the stroller ride home from the hospital. He is 1 month old. We have been outside for stretches, but he’s never needed to stay tied on to me for more than an hour

I also have a 7 year old. I never used a stroller with my first until he was a year old; and then i used it occasionally until he could walk around at 2.5 years. BUT he was a winter baby and I felt like he could better regulate his body temp by summer. I also never felt obligated to be on long outings since he was the first and I had no one to disappoint with a boring summer!

I feel generally safer with my babies tied to my body in case there is an emergency. But I also think it might be safer for a long day in the heat to be separated so he doesn’t overheat.

My stroller is this one, if it makes a difference:

https://mompush.com/products/mompush-wiz-stroller?variant=39806706712655&g_adid=&g_keyword=&g_keywordid=&g_acctid=668-867-1445&g_campaignid=23279508640&g_source=%7Bsourceid%7D&g_locphysical=9060351&g_partition=&g_adgroupid=&g_productchannel=online&g_network=x&g_ifcreative=&g_adtype=pla&g_campaign=account&g_productid=shopify_US_6609964957775_39806706712655&g_ifproduct=product&g_placement=&g_merchantid=620846688&g_locinterest=&dm_cam=23279508640&dm_grp=&dm_ad=&dm_kw=&dm_net=adwords&att_gcid=CjwKCAjwsfzSBhB5EiwAOGyqSWJr-baIa5Spt51sEn2z1jF6IrpBm3-DQhWZMiTefi_7hy3T8zySbRoC4d0QAvD_BwE&att_gbid=0AAAAAo3N1OiAy0-vhOMWE4BXilKXL-1MB&att_wbid=Cj8KCQjwsfzSBhDzARIuAClFgx5qJymtMv6GeAySMicc6Bi-yt1Gr3sDQ6twyEsifg6gfmYZj8UvxBezLRoCooc&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23279516542&gbraid=0AAAAAo3N1OiAy0-vhOMWE4BXilKXL-1MB&gclid=CjwKCAjwsfzSBhB5EiwAOGyqSWJr-baIa5Spt51sEn2z1jF6IrpBm3-DQhWZMiTefi_7hy3T8zySbRoC4d0QAvD_BwE

5.5 year old boy, currently at Montessori with roughly 9-4 weekday schedule.

Divorcing parents, already moved into separate homes

4:3 split weekly (Tue/Wed/Thus/Fri with mother, Sat/Sun/Mon with father)

Background:

Recently found out/realized that the mental health issue my wife had been dealing is actually BPD. Few years of counselling, therapy made her accept the disorganized attachment but even with that, she says there are no issues. She is still in Denial about BPD part and goes back and forth about parental/childhood trauma while idolized/demonized me. In summary, we could not work it out and watching kid showing sings of impact made me re-think about whether I can really help her heal. Answer was no and for everyone's sanity, divorce made sense and is happening.

I served as half-primary parent in first 4 years of kid, having quit my job. During that time, we practically raised him with hours split half. It was the only way that could work without conflicts (and for reasons that could be explained with attachment style/BPD dynamics). Eventually had to move back to corporate/routine job and that's when I felt that extra time the kid was spending with mom started to create some patterns those were noticeable.

Current State:

We are split in two houses, documentation is in process and kid is taking in the split exceptionally well. He is happy spending 3 days/nights with me, misses mom here and there but overall is very happy. He always had been good with emotional awareness, ability to express himself in clear words and is socially connected well. Reading ability, imagination, glimpse of an engineering mind, sense of humor, health, sleep... everything is normal, or above normal.

Question:

There are some things which I believe are resulting from BPD dynamics of my wife when he spends time with her, especially something that I can categorize under emotional regulation and just general fear of random things. Just how I always felt my wife had two distinct personalities, I am seeing glimpse of it in the kid where he behaves completely different when she is in the room. Nothing conclusive since he is just 5.5 and growing, learning, figuring out himself and also tons of other factors playing in. But yes, my concerns are not fully un-grounded. There are signs and patterns I can relate that they could grow into issues later on. I will try to find a good child psychologist and talk or let kid have an outlet to express himself, things that he cant talk about in split houses. But yes, I am also curious to know about other people's thoughts on the situation.
My biggest challenge here is I can not discuss anything with wife, even something that is wholesome and 100% kid related. Any parenting concern straight up comes as criticism or insult to her as a mother, and results in an episodes that is scary and often times physically dangerous. I have tried all ways to be polite about things. As of now, having no spoken words is only way to function with logistics.

I am aware that having one BPD parent, there are going to be some things those are going to shape his character. He has been dealt those cards and it is what it is. I am trying to have a mindset of how to make best of those cards and be mindful of blind spots, pitfalls? What are parenting strategies? What are some good books that could be a good guidance (I am a strong follower of guidelines in raising an EI kid and align with that philosophy).

Some tangible things I can think of are standard school hours so he spends a tad bit less time at mother's place. At times she randomly picks him up way too early because she feels guilty about him at school and that has caused him to start looking forward to her showing up before time, being restless in the last hour.

My lawyer has suggested that we re-evaluate the situation an year later with notes/recordings and we can go for full custody but that thought alone... taking the mother away... feels devastating. How do I chose between two bad decisions?

My baby is 5 months old, and I generally don’t like other people holding him, so I usually say no when family members ask.

I’ve been told repeatedly that letting lots of people hold him is “important for his development” and that it will help his social skills or prevent him from becoming overly attached to me.

Is there actually any evidence supporting those claims for a baby this young? Or is this more of a cultural belief than something backed by research?
I’d be interested in studies on social, emotional, or attachment development in infants if anyone has them.

Thank you!

This is more curiousity than anything.

Feeding the baby, toddler is almost asleep on me. Husband and I are watching Law and Order.

I was texting my friend. Her kid is sick, we had a playdate, checking in to see if mine are sick. I mentioned that we're all relaxing on the couch watching L&O.

She reminded me that my kids consume the content they're raised around and I should probably stop watching it around my 2yo soon, even if he's asleep. I thanked her, said goodnight.

It's never really occurred to me before. My older two were raised always watching shows like this. Both of my teens (16 & 13) had massive kid crushes on Gibbs. They'd request NCIS just to see him lol.

Is there any science behind shows like this? I def watch more kid shows with my toddler than I did my older two, but they seem fine. My daughter is a huge SVU fan and we talk about what happens in the episodes regularly, but it doesn't seem to upset her (with a few exceptions).

My son doesn't care for TV much at all but he watches the crime shows with us when they're on.

Anyway. When do I stop? Even when he's asleep? Or will he probably be fine?

Thanks!

I'm 9 months after having our second kid. He is great in general, but a terrible sleeper. Our first was a much better sleeper, so sleep deprivation only lasted a few months, and I was able to recover fairly soon after my sleep returned to normal.

I have a job that requires a lot of deep complex problem solving, as well as multi-tasking random pings. I can feel that I'm WAY worse at both of these things now that I'm working on fragmented sleep. It's affecting my job performance, which is not great since I'm the primary earner, and my pay is largely performance-based.

Baby actually started sleeping longer stretches ~1 week ago. No change in my abilities yet. I might actually be worse than better.

I guess I'm wondering if things will get better, and how long it typically takes? Is there anything shown to speed up the process? Am I just screwed and need to accept this is the new normal and work on building up processes to support it?