Hi,

So I recently responded to an open letter as it seemed like we both shared common interests. And, in their letter they specifically stated that they appreciated people who wrote longer replies. Which I was cool with given that I tend to write pretty long and like long replies too. So my response ended up being around 1200 words, but when they responded it was only around 600 words, which was pretty disheartening tbh. I obviously don’t expect a pen pal to respond to everything in my letter. But, it felt like they didn’t even read my letter, as it was mostly just talking about themselves and answering the questions I asked, instead of engaging with any of the stuff I wrote. They did ask me some questions at the end, and they didn’t seem like a terrible person, but I’m not really sure if I want to continue a friendship with this person. As I've had experiences like this in the past where I seemed to be the only one making an effort towards conversation, before the conversation eventually died out.

I wanted to get some opinions on this because I don’t know if I’m just being unreasonable and overreacting, due to previous bad experiences.

Hello, everyone. 

A while back, Slowly added the feature of “Q&A” in the app, and I’ve noticed most of my pen pals don’t seem to use it. 

I would love to know if you guys are using it, which questions you decided to answer out of those, how long your answers are, and if it changes anything seeing a profile with answers when you’re deciding who to write to. 

I have a pen pal from Romania. I remember we met through an open letter I wrote on August 19, 2025. If he's on this sub and happens to read my post, I just wanted to say I hope you find a new friend who's more compatible with you, and I apologize for wasting almost a year of your time.

Context: We met through an open letter. I was still a Slowly Plus subscriber at the time, so I could write more open letters. He's in his 40s, has health issues, and apparently some mental health issues, which I didn't dare bring up or ask him about because it might be a sensitive topic.

Long story short, we exchanged messages frequently, even though he told me he was just a stamp collector. And then he disappeared for five months. My last letter was sent on November 17, 2025, and then he sent me another letter, wishing me a happy birthday on April 22, and hoping I wouldn't delete him from my friends list. I haven't replied YET.

On July 13, he sent me another letter stating that he would delete me from his friends list.

I'm writing to let you know I'm removing you.
You've been busy with your baking and you migrated from here.
Slots are limited, so there's no point in keeping you since you don't reply.
It was a pleasure knowing you.
Enjoy your life.
Always smile.

To be honest, there are many letters that have been neglected and unanswered because I'm busy, and I also rarely open Slowly because the friends who usually write to me one by one are getting busy. I need time to craft a reply, and I want my reply to be meaningful. AITA?

When you remove someone it usually gives you that warning thing like “ are you sure, XYZ won’t be able to contact you if you remove them”.

But from the person that you remove’s POV, do they know you removed them? And if not, then what if they send you a letter after you remove them, does it just not get seen by you? Does something notify them that they’ve been removed?

Edit: TIL that check marks betray the fact of whether or not you opened a letter.. time to check whether someone’s ghosting me or actually just gone 😆

Also I never realized that “hide user” exists although it seems a little pointless since it doesn’t free a friend quota

And finally it’s a bit annoying that the system never notifies the person you remove.. that means they could’ve gone through a lot of wasted effort to write you.. only for it to be read by no one

Hey all!

Is Slowly plus actually worth it?

Tell me about your experience?

2026 third batch for your avatar.

More about it.

I just don't want any more people from those countries I want to keep the ones I already have ❤️

I joined slowly about two days ago. I was shocked that i’ve only just found out about it because I think it’s such a cool idea for an app. I wrote and sent my first letter, and then this morning I got a reply and I was so excited to read it and reply to them. My excitement instantly faded when I realised that their reply is very clearly completely ai, I’m kind of sad honestly. I know that some people use ai to translate and help structure ideas ect, but it felt like they just gave my letter to ai and asked it to write a reply. I’m not sure what to do, should I reply as if it’s not ai, reply and address the fact that it’s ai or not reply at all. I feel rude if I do the second or third options, but I don’t really want spend time writing thoughtful letters if the response I get will just be ai. I also was thinking maybe they just didn’t want to reply to me and ai felt like the easy way out, but honestly I would have preferred no reply.

I know there are plenty more people that I can send letters to and I’ll eventually find someone that I click with but I’m just disappointed that this is my first experience.

I hope this doesn’t come off as too whiny lol also i’m not sure if this is the right flair

https://roostsocial.app

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/roost-social/id6746680855

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.rookery.courier

install

100K+

this thing

I hurt my hands quite badly a few months ago. I was told by the doctor to use my hands as little as possible. Otherwise, my recovery would be way longer. I needed my hands for work so I decided to use them only for that.

I had quite a lot of interesting penpals on Slowly, unfortunately I like to write very long letters and I was unable to do so these past few months. I know I could have used voice messages apps, but editing the voice messages implies using my hands as well and I really needed to have them to rest.

My hands are still recovering, so I can't resume writing as normal. I was thinking of sending a general message explaining why I have been away, apologizing for it, and inviting them to tell me if they want to keep our conversation going.

What do you think of that approach? Would you recommend another one?

I know lots of people hate ghosting, so I don't want to be like that. But my approach feels awkward and clumsy, and I feel the temptation of ghosting and creating a new account. It's silly to be socially anxious over Slowly and hand injuries...

I had like 9 active friends, we were having nice chats,deep conversation and within one month all vanished into thin air without any words they left like I was nobody although one of them,she told me why she is deactivating her account and it was a lovely letter, she also said when her life becomes less hectic she will come back and contact me.....but others they didn't even said one word and vanished 😔. Do all of you face the same thing??

I got 2 notifications, one saying a person has requested to be my penpal and the other one said that someone replied to my open letter. I can't find the penpal request or the reply on the app. I am new to this app so please let me know where I can find these things!

Yesterday my app forced me to update in order to use it, and I don't want it, there's nothing in the new versions that I want/like.

Is there any version that doesn't force the update? Preferably 8 or below.

Hi, I've searched for new Penpals today. After looking at maybe 8 to 10 profiles, this message popped up. It was gone after 5 or 10 minutes, but after reviewing a few more profiles it showed up again. Is this a bug from the App or a new "feature"? If it's a feature, what's the point of this? It's hard to find an interesting penpal by looking at this little number of profiles. I closed the App and deleted Cache, but it didn't help either. Thanks in advance!

Not sure if this option exists, but it would’ve been great if we could see open letters published on profiles we’re exchanging letters with.

So just to preface,

I'm quite selective when it comes to responding. I know if I take more than I can handle then I'll be doing a disservice to everyone since I would burn out.

For those who actually try (those who put themselves out there instead of asking me to do that when they were the one who initiated or just list hobbies and things as if that tells me anything) I do get back to them. I don't think I've slacked off when it comes to it since that's how I know I'll get a correspondence back that I feel like it's worth reading and writing back to. Word counts might not mean much to some but I've felt that it's a primary indicator that someone put much effort in it, so I always had my correspondence match when it comes to word count or exceed theirs a bit.

I've had 3 people who reached out to me first, and I did my best to reply back with the appropriate subjects that they brought up. But after 2-3 letters, they read my correspondence but never do anything about it. It could be said that I replied a bit too late (like 6-7 days later due to my own life's happenings), but I did preface that in my bio and I thought that letters are mostly self-contained which is free from the usual temporal context, like you can continue the conversation 2-3 months later and it would be like it has never stopped.

So far I have one whom I've sent and received 6 letters, so 12 letters total. The only one that I'm confident that this is not just going to stop out of the blue, unless there's some accidents or upbringings in life. Is it a regular occurence where interacting with this kind of person is a rare thing?

I think this is through automatch. I wanted to decline since I don’t have the time to reply immediately but now I feel bad. What do you guys do in these cases?

There is no way everyone can agree what short, medium and long means. For some 2000 characters may be a long letter, but for others it’s an average-sized one.

It would be better to provide the exact range of number of characters (or words). It is already a measurable stat people can look up when they compose letters, and it gives a more objective idea of the typical letter length they produce.

Better yet, it may be easier to calculate and display the average letter length in characters/words in the user profile, along with sent:received ratio.

(Envelopes)

Right now, we just open the app and read the letter. It would be amazing if incoming letters arrived in a virtual envelope that we actually have to open

FDC (first day cover)

When a brand new stamp is released in the The Stamp Store, users could have a short 24-hour window to send a letter using that stamp to get a unique, specially designed commemorative envelope wrapper.

Well, I’m asking because a girl suddenly sent me a letter, and I really enjoyed chatting with her. We were just starting to become friends, but then on Wednesday she deactivated her account. I’m hoping she’ll come back, since she said right from the start that she might disappear and that we should take our time exchanging letters, but we’ll see, i only believe it when she actually shows up, not just based on words.

So after thinking about it, i decided to ask about your experiences, have you ever had a pen pal who deactivated their account and then came back?

I have my bio accessible in Spanish and english. I do this, cuz I wanna correspond in either language, and wanna be accessible and approachable to people who only speak one or the other; however, this is quite clunky sometimes

Its very hard to translate subtopics. There are only 10, and their text size is limited. Now with Q&As it just looks off to have a couple sentences of why I love something followed by varias oraciones de porqué amo algo

It would be super convenient to have, idk profile language modes a user could set up. I could go like, I want my profile to have an english mode, and a spanish mode. When people open my profile, they get to pick which language they want to read it in, and switch later if they want. When they select one language, they just get the text I wrote for said language

Maybe this sounds even more clunky or weird, but I wanna hear yalls inputs