Basically, this:
MMC: "Your father put you up as collateral in case he couldn't pay back his debts. Now you must marry me."
FMC: "Why?"
MMC: "...What do you mean, why? It's in writing. You have no choice." (shows her a contract) "See?"
FMC: (reads it, tears it up)
MMC: "What the fuck?! That's a binding contract!"
FMC: "Not for me. I'm not bound by a contract to which I wasn't a party."
MMC: "Yes, you are! Your father even signed it in a solution of your mother's menstrual blood and the liquefied vomit of a magical space unicorn!"
FMC: "Okay, first of all, ew. Second of all, the fact that I never signed anything already rendered this thing null and void. Third of all, even if it hadn't, the attempt to compel me into marriage would have. And, finally, even if it were legally enforceable, what were you gonna do? Sue me for breach of contract? Expose your whole thing in front of a room full of lawyers?"
MMC: "THE MAGICAL SPACE UNICORN WAS NAMED BUCKY!"
FMC: "Cute, but still no. Are we done here?"
MMC: "NO! No, we're not!" (holds a gun to her father's head) "Marry me or he dies!"
FMC: (shrugs) "Go ahead. He might have sucked at selling me out, but he sure gave it a try. I don't need to care what happens to him anymore. Hell, give ME the gun. I'll do it myself. Also, you just admitted that you have to resort to blackmail because your contract isn't actually worth shit."
MMC: "But I've been secretly lusting after you for years! I'd want to marry you regardless!"
FMC: "Amazingly, that doesn't make any of what just happened better."
MMC: (sighs) "All right. You leave me no choice." (walks over and looms over her)
FMC: "Um, what are you doing?"
MMC: "I am making you wet and pliable by summoning the power of dominant alpha hotness."
FMC: "Your tie is in your zipper."
MMC: "Motherf--" (fixes it) "Okay, now."
FMC: (waits) "Yeah, I'm drier than Death Valley right now. I'm leaving."
MMC: "Not unless Frankie over by the door stops you."
FMC: (not even turning around) "Hey, Frankie, there's some nice gabagool in the kitchen."
FRANKIE: "Gabagool?!" (runs out)
FMC: "Anything else?"
MMC: "Student loans."
FMC: "Fully funded 529."
MMC: "Fleabag apartment."
FMC: "No, it's pretty clean."
MMC: "Unfulfilled dream of opening a bakery."
FMC: "Why would I want to get up that early every day?"
MMC: "THIS. NECKLACE."
FMC: "I hate peridots."
MMC: (defeated) "Can I offer you a ride on Bucky?"
FMC: "Not if he's still vomiting. See ya."