As a 40 year old male, I’ve gotten 8-10 psychedelic trips under my belt over the last few years. Yesterday I took 5 grams of mushrooms which was my highest dose yet. My previous trips have changed my life in many positive ways, but this trip went to a whole new level. It’s hard to put in to words, but it started off as immense love, then gratitude, then compassion.

I’ve been trying to piece it together this morning. It’s hard bc during the experience it’s a knowing… but back to reality as myself it’s just a remembering. The love came from unity of everything… the gratitude came from the blessing of that being revealed to me so clearly… and the intense compassion came from understanding that we suffer with the separation from that while we’re here.

Honestly the whole thing was crazy. I’ve read about this a bunch(ego death, peak transcendent experiences)… it wasn’t what I was expecting.
The intensity of what I felt is indescribable. I’m not very “religious” but the “Holy Spirit” feels like a good way to describe what was going on; if that makes sense.

At risk of sounding crazy… I’ll tell another part of the story. I got up to pee during the middle of it… and everything was illuminated with sparkling diamond light, it’s hard to describe, but it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. However, it was as though I wasn’t there/in my body. I was experiencing the world for the very first time… as a creator looking at creation in complete and total awe.

That’s the best I can do to describe it… but still doesn’t really capture the truth of the experience for which I am immensely grateful of.

Hope you guys enjoy!

Are you a natural at holding space for others? Are you psychedelic-informed? Have you ever wanted to give back in the psychedelic ecosystem? Applications are now open to volunteer for the Fireside Project - the psychedelic peer support line in the U.S! Being a volunteer requires a year long commitment to being on the line and serving others, and is an incredible opportunity to deepen your training in this work. Reach out with any questions or review this FAQ page!

I am new to psychedelics and have only been doing magic mushrooms for a few months now. I started off small and have been working my way up slowly. I'm currently tripping on 1-2g of golden teachers once every 2 weeks. My question is is that too much and/or too often? I have heard of people who have abused mushrooms and became psychotic or were left with persistent visual disturbances. Problem is, I don't know how much 'abusing' mushrooms is.

How much is safe to trip on once every 2 weeks if you're not taking any psychedelics or any other substances in the time in between?

So it's my first time posting here. I took about 3.5gs of penis envy and did the whole lemon juice thing. I tried to grind it up but it didn't work out too well and it came out too chunky. I think it was a bit too moist still for grinding.

So I drink it and I threw it all up as soon as I started coming up and I thought that would have stalled my trip and made it less potent but if anything it feels like it jacked it up to 11. During the peak I had some extremely interesting experiences, which I wrote as I came down. The longer I wrote, the less I could make sense of what was going through my head, and so I eventually had to stop when I couldn't put into words what I wanted to say anymore.

I have had similar experiences to this on previous trips but never really understood completely what was happening until this trip. Now that I can somewhat make some sense of it, it feels like I got a bit of a peak behind the curtain of reality and kind of get a sense for what it is and how it works on an extremely small scale.

Here is what I wrote, edited slightly to make it easier to read and for extreme typos. Sorry if this isn't as interesting as I thought it was and is just the ramblings of a mad man or if it isn't allowed. I may be able to answer some questions, but a good amount of the information and a lot of stuff I wanted to write but couldn't find the words for is now just gone.

I lost all concept of words and reality in general but when I open my eyes I don't see the room I just see shadowy shapes and I can't make sense of what I am seeing and have no words or knowledge so I begin just start focusing on the darkness created between a fold in the blanket. And as I focus in on these I begin to create designations for what I am seeing. Basically just grunts and moans and like inflections of emotion. And eventually it gets to the point where you're almost kind of creating little stories for the things your seeing. And even begin kind of playing the roles of various things you've discovered But I get defensive of these things I have found and I want to keep it safe and make sure it's only for me. So I begin to defend these things from other things. Not sure what.

But as I do I physically move and my perspective shifts. It is at this moment that you realize that you are person who is tripping and is looking at the space in between a fold of a blanket and focusing on the patterns on the blanket and how small and insignificant it is but just a few seconds ago it was your entire world. Your entire reality. And nothing else existed besides this reality you've essentially created for yourself and this includes language. 

And that is interesting on its own because it is like awareness craves labels and if you lose all your knowledge and words then the awareness will just start labeling things itself and even though it is nonsense it will make sense to you while you're in your constructed reality. Awareness wants to have words and languages. 

This perspective shift allows you to put things in perspective for a moment and remember who you are and what's going on. 

This is the exact same thing as reality. Awareness focusing in on something insignificant yet interesting and getting lost in it to the point where it forgets everything else except for this reality that it has essentially created itself through grunts projected onto the shadow between a fold in a blanket. 

It doesn't matter if what is happening is actually going on. Awareness is just making assumptions and going from moment to moment and building a reality for itself and making things up as it goes in a seemingly playful and curious way until something happens that causes it to pull back for a second and puts things back into perspective, if only for a moment. And once that curtain is pulled back, the reality you've constructed and lost yourself in is gone forever. 

Once you experience that shift in perspective you can never go back to how it was before. And sometimes you really want to and losing that life/world/reality is very sad. And No matter what you try you'll never be able to see that world again or those things you've created. Not in the same way. You know it existed and the gist of it but you'll never go back to living in that created reality as if it were the one true reality with no knowledge of the universe outside of your constructed reality. It's like a fading dream and the further you get from it the less you can remember.

This is what is happening in our actual reality. When your consciousness is stripped of its identity and knowledge(such as through the use of various substances or death) it becomes pure awareness seeking something to latch on to.

When something happens that snaps you out of your focus and you remember "oh yeah I'm a person on shrooms" is essentially the exact same thing that will happen upon physical death. Awareness pulls back a level and says "oh yeah I forgot for a moment but I'm not that, I'm actually this." The previous reality fades away and then the awareness finds a new focus for its attention and the cycle begins again. 

Awareness does not like to just be pure awareness for too long and it constantly seeks identity because that helps it focus in on one specific "area" and when it can focus in on one area it can gather even more knowledge and build an even stronger identity for itself. The more focused the better. 

Essentially earth is the perfect place for awareness to lose itself. It's just a giant blanket with a bunch if folds and patterns and shadows. There are an infinite amount of interesting patterns and shapes and colors and vibrations and densities at both the micro and macro scales that awareness's love to zero in on and begin creating identity and knowledge base. And it can go as big as the entire planet as a whole all at once, or down into the smallest segments of it like a single animal or even a rock or cell. 

All it has to do is focus in on a particular pattern it finds interesting enough and it will lose itself and begin creating a knowledge set and identity for it as if it were that thing living in that perceived reality until something happens to snap it out of the role it has created for itself and realize that it is actually not that thing and is something else all together.

The detailed memory of the experience just experienced as well as the interest in the experiences of that particular pattern dwindles as time is spent away from it. (this is extremely sad to me as a human but not something even considered whatsoever as awareness) and the awareness quickly finds a new pattern to lose itself in. There is a moment to evaluate what was experienced and even lament the losses but attention is quickly caught by something else and the cycle begins again, causing you to quickly forget most of the major details of the previous "session".

The awareness is almost junkie-like in the way it continually searches for more patterns to lose itself inside of, to the point where I almost wonder if that's all it can even do. It checks out a pattern, pretends it is that pattern and invents a scenario that makes sense to itself until something happens (death, certain drugs, deep meditation) that cause the awareness playing the role of the pattern to realize it is not that pattern and lose its connection. 

Consciousness is the identity awareness creates for itself. When awareness gets interested to the point it loses itself in the pattern, awareness becomes consciousness. The shift is like it's focus changing from a flashlight to a laser beam. From general and wide to narrow and specific.  It follows it until something happens to break its attention and repeats the process. 

In actual reality multiple awarenesses are at play as well so you do not need to focus on playing the chosen role, the adversary, the tree and the squirrel in it and etc. Other awarenesses play these roles and this way each awareness can hyper focus on a specific pattern and identity as it likes to do and not have to constantly jump between roles, which makes snapping out of the illusion and remembering you are not the chosen pattern more likely. There is a "system" in place with agreed upon "rules" just as you would have with any online multi-player game to prevent things like hacking and ensuring things stay consistent.

Anything that is not being focused on by an awareness in some capacity does not exist. 

And there are multiple layers of observance. I am a pattern being observed by an awareness that is also being "somethinged" by a "something"  and that "something" is being "something-elsed" by different things and so on.

Anyone who has done both, can you describe the difference? I usually do 1.5-2g of APE for an intense experience, can I handle 1.5 of Natalensis? Will it be more enjoyable?

Hey yall so I used to take capsules but the strains were too random and my stomach is sensitive so I’d like to make my own tea. I wanted to know 1) what’s the best way to make it to prevent nausea and to measure properly so I don’t accidentally give myself a bad trip as I usually use mushrooms to help with my cptsd so I experience it at home alone at a low dose (100-300 mg usually)
It helps me clear out any psychosomatic symptoms such as muscle tension and anxiety and I usually sob for 30-45 minutes and then I just need to lay down and watch a movie. I usually will enjoy once a week or so but I stopped cuz for whatever reason capsules were giving me anxiety and the people I usually get them from she said there were no reports of a “bad batch” so I just gave up and decided I should make a tea now.

I have done PE before but I see they have other strains: Bluey Vuitton, iceberg, and golden teacher. What is the difference with these strains and is there one that is recommended? Otherwise I can stick with PE.
Thanks sm.

I am thinking of taking 4 ho met on my bday for the first time. I have 20 mg pills, we will be at a hotel pool party during the day. Trying to get an understanding if that is too much.

I typically take high dose Psychadelics with no problem. In public I usually take 1.75 to 2 g of Penis Envy Uncut. They are exceptionally potent. By my estimate, up around 2% psilocybin by dry weight. Especially based on how hard they hit me and how hard they've hit other people who are experienced with Psychadelics. Even compared to your standard PE phenotype, much stronger. The come up is more like a rocket ship than slow and steady like most shrooms. At home we take up to 4 grams of those.

I hear MET is a more clear headspace and is easy in social situations. But since this is my first go round and I will be out in public around friends across a myriad of substance use. I wanted to get some tho from people who have experience with it. Thanks.

What happened after experiencing this reality check?

one of the things i love the most about these experiences, is that more lucid/present/creative afterglow sate that follows the next weeks after dosing.

for some context: currently in a 2 week break from school, in a really great and pretty introspective (in an amazing way) moment in my life, also working in a lot of personal projects, and i am really seeking to that neuroplasticity buff that comes after a trip.

i was thinking of doing a 2g shrooms dose mixed with some ketamine, buttt as being a 17 y/o that lives with his parents, i cant really find a good setting to trip atm. So i was thinking if i could achieve that afterglow state by, instead of fully dosing, microdosing the next following days.

soo, as having quite frankly not much idea about microdosing, i ask these following questions:

* is microdosing actualy simillar or virtually the same as an afterglow?

* how much should i dose and spread the dosing in a period of 10 days?

* is doing a high dose (120-150 mg) of ketamine in one of these days a bad idea at all?

thank you very much :D

An essay exploring the concept of 'psychedelic apophenia', where connections are made between unrelated things so that we see psychedelics' influence everywhere.

It looks at Terence McKenna's Stoned Ape Theory, psychedelic theories of Christianity, and DMT-pineal gland theories.

*DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DID. No one should abuse psychedelics or dose as high as I did. I am very thankful I was able to come back from this, I know I am an exception*

When I was 18-21 i had a phase where I was taking LSD everyday. This trip took place about a year into this, about 5 years ago at 19. My tolerance rapidly grew after the first year, and I had to take 5/6 tabs to feel what I used to off of one. Then I got *the* tabs, these orange gel pyramids. I have been told many times before those that I was getting double dosed tabs… those are the first that I genuinely believe were double dosed. My dumbass took 12 of them. I’d guess my dose was somewhere in the ballpark of 2100-2500µg.

The comeup hit very quickly. Most tabs would take at least an hour to kick in, on that high of a dose it maybe took 20 minutes at most, and I was thrust into what felt like a full normal peak. I had enough time to go to the bathroom and grab a bottle of water before laying in my bed, taking in the visuals. It started off normal enough, until I shut my eyes for an unknown amount of time. I had music playing, but after a while my sense of hearing had completely gone out. I had forced myself to embrace the state I was in, knowing fighting it would only make things worse. Eventually I slightly came to, as I try to open my eyes and sit up and realize that my open and closed eye visuals were identical. Fractals had deeply immersed my vision, and I had become completely lost in them.

There was nothing I could do to combat a dose that high, so I just let myself fade off into the visuals. “I” was not here. I don’t know where I was. I didn’t even know if I was alive. It all happened so fast that I could not even comprehend it. Time was no more. I had completely lost touch with all sense reality and fully embraced it. For all I knew this was it, and all this is all it ever would be. But I was okay with it, as I felt this immense sense of comfort wash over me. I wish I could give more details on the experience itself, but it feels like a haze trying to recollect much else from it.

I used to be terrified of the concept of something infinite, but this made comfortable with it in a way I never could have imagined. I have dealt with deep existentialism and dread since I was a small child, going from being raised in a devout christian household on my dad’s side, but always being heavily skeptical, to fully atheist by the time I was a teenager. This experience opened me up to the idea that there may be something more after this life. Maybe not religion as it’s typically defined, but this made me feel like there truly something more in whatever comes next. It was like staring death directly in the face, but it wasn’t scary like I thought it would be. This experience gave me the courage to face my fears of death and accept the possibility of there being something more. I just went with whatever the trip wanted to show me, and I completely surrendered myself. After about roughly 18 hours I came to in a haze, still tripping very hard, but at least back in my body. As I came to I felt as if I was peaking off a good 4-5 hits (maybe 2 without a tolerance). In the end it took over 3 days for the effects to only begin to loosen its grip. I remember waking up the 3rd day and wondering if I had broken my brain, and if I’d ever be sober again. It still feels miraculous that I ever fully came back from a trip that deep.

These days I couldn’t even imagine doing that powerful of a dose again, but overall I am incredibly grateful for the experience. That was something that shaped me into the person I am today and left me with a completely altered world view, open to so many more things that I don’t think I ever would have been. However I would definitely not recommend that to most people, i think the only reason I was able to pull through was due to an extremely high tolerance and a lot of previous experience navigating difficult trips.

If anyone has any questions I’d be happy to discuss in the comments. I didn’t get into it here, but also would love to discuss how things were at the end of the psych abuse/how it’s affected me since if anyone is interested.

I'm particularly interested in LSD (microdosing, I think) and cannabis, but I'd also appreciate hearing about other combinations.

Will it scratch my itch for warmth, introspection, inspiration, ego dissolution and post-trip integration?

I'm planning to go to rave this Friday and it's gonna be my first rave and I'm planning to take mdma then the next day on Saturday take a LSD at tame impala concert ? Is that a good idea ?

Hello, i’ve heard about this mushroom couple of months ago. And ever since it left some questions that were haunting me.

How does it work? What are the mechanisms? And why exactly do people see little people?.

I left this subject untouched - but today my friend send me a wikipedia link to it (as he wanted me to read it).
As i was bored, i started digging through the wikipedia page. And it struck me - benzydamine has a „similar” trip profile as lanmaoa.
They both hijack visual cortex in a very unique way, that trigger same phenomenons:

•Alice in wonderland syndrome
•lilliputian hallucinations
•observer effect

And in both cases, users generally retain sense with reality, they know those hallucinations aren’t real (not like with natural deliriants - scopolamine, atropine)).
Both of them last for hours / days after consumption, with really long onset.

While benzydamine is a synthetic indazole, and the toxin in lanmaoa asiatica is still a mystery, they are hitting the same filtration systems in the brain. They cause the brain to lose it’s ability to scale size and depth.

And here i used Ai for more nerdy research (structures and exact mechanisms) im really sorry.

1. Breaking Down the Chemical Structures
   To understand why these substances are anomalies, we have to look at their chemistry. They diverge completely from classic natural deliriants like Datura or Henbane, which rely on tropane alkaloids (atropine and scopolamine built around a tropane ring).
   Indazole (The Core): Indazole is a bicyclic aromatic heterocycle consisting of a benzene ring fused to a pyrazole ring (containing two adjacent nitrogen atoms at positions 1 and 2).
   SMILES: C1=CC=C2C(=C1)CNN=C2

Benzydamine (The Molecule): Fully named 3-(benzyloxy)-N,N-dimethyl-1-propanamine, benzydamine is a synthetic indazole derivative. It features a benzyl group attached to the N-1 position (which increases lipophilicity and structural similarity to endogenous indoleamines like serotonin) and an ether-linked propyl-dimethylamine chain at the C-3 position.
SMILES: CN(C)CCCOC1=NN(CC2=CC=CC=C2)C3=CC=CC=C31

Lanmaoa asiatica: Indigenous to Yunnan, China, this bolete lacks both tryptamines (psilocybin) and isoxazoles (muscimol). Recent genomic sequencing confirms that its 24-to-72-hour hallucinogenic activity is driven by a completely novel, uncharacterized secondary metabolite. Given its symptom profile, this cryptic toxin is highly suspected to be either a structural mimic of indazole/tryptamine templates or a highly stable prodrug requiring hepatic or microbial conversion into its active form.

1. Atypical Pharmacodynamics vs. Classic Deliriants
   Unlike classic tropane deliriants that act via competitive antagonism at muscarinic acetylcholine receptors (M₁-M₅)—causing severe dry mouth, urinary retention, and profound amnesia—benzydamine exhibits a complex, multi-system profile:

Dopaminergic Efflux: It stimulates significant dopamine release in the nucleus accumbens, leading to psychomotor stimulation and occasional euphoria (absent in tropane poisoning).

5-HT2A Interaction: Its indazole core allows for cross-reactivity with serotonin receptors, altering visual processing.

CB1 Modulation: Hypothesized to alter endocannabinoid signaling via GABA-ergic disinhibition.
The unknown toxin in Lanmaoa asiatica seems to target these exact same pathways, skipping the cholinergic system entirely.

1. The Temporo-Parietal Junction (TPJ) and Size Perception

The defining feature of both intoxications is the precise disruption of the Temporo-Parietal-Occipital (TPO) junction, the cortical hub responsible for integrating visuospatial data, somatic awareness, and Egocentric Coordinate Systems.

1. Preserved Metacognition vs. True Delirium
   

In classical anticholinergic delirium (DPH, Datura), down-regulation of acetylcholine severely impairs working memory and executive functioning, leading to a complete loss of insight.
In contrast, both of these compounds have a metacognitive monitoring (known as the "observer effect"). Users frequently describe watching the miniature entities with an analytical, almost detached perspective, fully aware that the phenomena are pharmacologically induced. This strongly suggests that frontal lobe executive networks and cholinergic memory systems remain intact, pointing instead to a localized hyper-dopaminergic/serotonergic dysregulation of the visual processing streams (V4/V5 loops).

References:
MDPI Pharmaceuticals (2023) - Comprehensive review on the abuse potential and dopaminergic mechanisms of Benzydamine.
Natural History Museum of Utah (2024) - Analytical data and genomic exploration of Lanmaoa asiatica.
Journal of Neurological Sciences - Pathophysiology of the Alice in Wonderland Syndrome and TPO-junction network mapping.

Im really curious about your answers, thank’s for reading!.

The reason why I mentioned my neurodivergence is because last night confirmed that it isn’t just my brain that is abstract, my soul is abstract and always has been.

I had 6 rounds of the DMT all together. It took me on a really bizzare journey. I still do not know where I was but on the fourth go I saw a light being family and one was in a pushchair. Then I ran to the toilet & was sick into some sort of cosmic toilet, my whole apartment turned into neon fractals. I feel like my apartment was transported into the cosmos. The beings brought me to my knees and I surrendered to them, apologising and promising to drop my ego. I have never seen anything like it. The beings were not in my room at this point but I could feel them & they was not playing around with me. I was in tears. I have done up to 9gs of shrooms & a couple tabs of LSD at a time but nothing compares to what I experienced last night.

DMT is loud, like shrooms at first when it’s intense but I did not hear anybody speak. In fact, my brain didn’t stay on one thing for too long, everything was like pictures. In the 5th round I saw a Black triangle, odd shapes and massive snakes and then what I perceive to be Kali Maa came to me, as she sometimes does in my psychedelic states. My consciousness started to say that it’s okay for me to be balanced & embrace my darkness as-well as my light.

I didn’t see much of what people describe when they do DMT, it was entirely bizzare…when I do a big lot of shrooms I get this bizzare experience in the beginning of shapes melting into each other and morphing & beings that look like octopus elephants with three eyes going down each side of their faces (they live in the ocean & I always end up in the ocean on psychedelics). I also hear this loud mechanical sound. DMT feels like that times 10.

I’m now remembering that when DMT kicks in, my room turns into a cartoon and I get this super uncomfortable feeling, I keep grabbing my legs and rolling around, then all of these shapes show up, odd shapes morphing together and boom, it starts…the visions but they’re so odd it is so hard to describe. There are all of these beautiful, crazy worlds out there…they’re just different. It’s so intense. It is abstract, almost looks a bit like the album covers that pink Floyd created. Now I understand what some people see. Most people seem to describe Buddhas and Gaia, flowers, Goddesses etc. I don’t see that stuff…I was seeing odd things. Abstract stuff. Stuff my human brain can not comprehend. I keep saying odd because it was. I’m sorry, I can’t find another word for it.

The last go was about my trauma. The visuals were abstract again but the thoughts I had made a lot of sense, it made me understand why I feel the way I do right now.

Anyway, what did I learn? - to let go of absolutely every single thing I am holding onto & every fear I have. Especially after what I saw & experienced last night, I really have nothing to fear. I also need to accept myself entirely because I have always been abstract & I will never be anything other than. Even in the other realms, I am different. That is okay. I do not need anybody to accept me, I just need to accept myself. I do not understand DMT yet but I do not believe I will ever be the same again.

We are a group of researchers at the University of Wollongong in Australia conducting a study about the emotional experiences people report during psychedelic experiences and whether these are linked to changes in social functioning, wellbeing, and attitudes toward death.

We are looking for individuals aged 18 years or older who have had at least one personally meaningful experience with a classical psychedelic substance within the past 5 years (but not within the past 3 months). Psychedelics include LSD, DMT (N,N-DMT), 5-MeO-DMT, Ayahuasca, Psilocybin (i.e. Magic Mushrooms) or Mescaline/Peyote.

If you are 18 years and over and can read English, we invite you to take part in an online, 30-minute survey. This survey asks about the emotions you experienced during a psychedelic experience and any changes you may have noticed in how you relate to others, your general wellbeing, and your outlook on life afterward. Please note that the survey includes questions about challenging emotions that may have arisen during the experience.

Your responses will be completely anonymous and your involvement will remain confidential. No identifying information (including IP addresses) will be collected.

Participants will have the chance to enter a draw to win one of two $100 AUD Visa vouchers. Entry into the draw is completely optional and is completed via a separate form that is not connected to, and cannot be linked with, participant survey responses.

To participate or learn more, follow this link: https://uow.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6nuJn8BNBgWFYrk

For questions, contact: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Thank you very much for your consideration in participating. The following researchers are conducting the study:
Dr. Sam Moreton - Lecturer, School of Psychology University of Wollongong [email protected].
Alex Shuttleworth - Honours Student School of Psychology University of Wollongong
Mimi Han Honours Student School of Psychology University of Wollongong

Study Reference Number: H2026-0104

Setting: solo, at home, experienced user. Prepared in advance. This is written the morning after, still glowing, so forgive the tone.

Prep & setting

I've done this before and I know my dose.

Nothing new, nothing mixed. What made the difference this time was preparation in the day before (staying sober, not eating, having a calm day, bathing and washing myself, nice clothes), and the intention of getting to the core of it.

I went in right at sunset.

Water within reach, a timer to keep track of where I was, food set aside for after.

I started out at my home, in a nice spot with a view, above a big city where I live.

But as the come-up hit, took me hard and lasted for a while and a while and a while, I had the good instinct, during a moment of relative calm, to crawl into the windowless bathroom at the center of my place.

Less input, less stimulation, somewhere I could just be.

That single decision when I reached peak probably shaped the whole thing.

The peak

It came in waves — literally the sensation of waves breaking over my mind, one after another, no gap.

Then a feeling of total crushing.

Something immense and deeply mystical, almost the force of God, and the strange thing was that it was both ahead of me, laid out on the ground before me, and inside me at the same time.

I ended up on the floor, head pressed to the ground, looking down between the boards, and there were abysses opening up there. Eyes — entities looking back — but every time, they brought me back to myself.

Not threatening.

More like they kept returning me to who I was.

There was a strong regression, back to something like the moment of birth, and it carried a raw sexual charge.

So much that I peed myself - several times.

What surprised me most wasn't the loss of control — it was that it wasn't a loss at all. It was chosen. And a thing of joy. I felt zero shame about any of it, honestly closer to a kind of pride at having crossed something.

The visuals were extraordinary.

Clouds turning into entities.

The colors of the setting sun.

Whole matrices and textures appearing between me and reality, like I could see the weave of it.

Through all of it, the dominant feeling was that I was equipped.

That everything in my life had somehow prepared me for exactly this — a bit of religious upbringing, some symbolic and ritual training I've done over the years, the days spent in the dust at a certain festival in the desert, the books, the models my family gave me.

Not "captain of the ship," but at least still on the ship in the middle of the storm.

That's the phrase that kept coming.

I was not in control of anything, but I had the tools to stay afloat.

Intellectually. And practically.

I kept hitting the floor with my fist several times to orchestrate a rhythm that would protect me.

I began singing and praying to myself to use my voice as a guide for myself.

I was travelling in a whirlwind, among other things that were as threatening as they were beautiful, my ego torn apart from everywhere, exploding, but still hanging on somehow and coming back together calmly from time to time.

All in all, I felt like a Wizard or a Magician.

The return

When the peak finally let go, I came back out to the view.

And the whole city was there around me at night — every light, the monuments, the cranes on the horizon — all of it turned into benevolent presences.

Protective. I felt part of something vastly bigger than me, held in a circle of light.

I had a huge laugh.

I was thinking : "Keep on Truckin'"...

Aftermath

Slept hard once sleep finally came.

Physically I'm wrecked — every joint aches, deep fatigue, like I ran a marathon lying still.

Stayed on top of water, salt and food (gazpacho did wonders). Psychologically, for now, I feel great — on a cloud, genuinely.

I know the days ahead will tell me more.

Still integrating.

Will edit as things settle.

I have two dogs. One of my dogs, the sweetest little pit bull, I've always wondered if he and I have a psychic bond. I'm not saying he does but it's always been in the back of my head. It's entirely possible he just reacts to my facial expressions.

I scooped up a DMT pen, and I just closed my eyes and tripped out to some music for a bit. I did this a few times and every time he dipped out and seemed a little scared

Maybe it's all in my head. I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced or wondered this?

Oh god what have i done lol i could have just went to sleep but then i ate a little piece of paper and now i need to fix my whole life lmao 😂😂😂

I've been experimenting frequently with mushrooms (Psilocybe subaeruginosa) for the first time over a few weeks (I also do spore prints and meticulously check my mushrooms so there's very little chance of me having poisoned myself) Been having some really nice mental health benefits and artistic inspiration as well as a generally improved outlook on life. Anyway, i've been microdosing/moderate dosing with a few days on few days off kind of thing.

The next day, I would notice my hands felt really weak, like if I tried to grip a pen or perform other fine motor skills like typing my fingers just wouldn't cooperate, along with some mildly blurry vision. Today I had the day off work and decided to take a larger amount after I dropped my kid off at school with plans to go for a walk as I've only experienced shrooms at home, at night. I had them in a tea and used quite a bit more than I normally would, having never had a big trip I didn't think I would be too bad.

I started to trip out way more heavily than I usually would, but wasn't too impaired as I was able to take phone calls, and just enjoyed sitting near a bench next to a creek nearby my house in the sunshine as I didn't want to walk too much. An hour or two later I started to come out of the trip a bit and got up to walk home, when my legs gave out beneath me. No matter how hard I tried to stand, my legs were like jelly and my feet like blocks of lead- I couldn't walk more than a few steps without losing my balance and eating shit. Besides looking like a fucking idiot and worrying someone would think I was dying or something and call the cops, I started to genuinely worry if I could make the 5-10 minute walk home. I stumbled along the park paths and streets to my house step by step, holding trees and fences for support.

Over an hour later I managed to make it back to my house when my hands and arms started to refuse to work. I couldn't hold anything and struggled for ages to get my key into my door. Then my mouth, head and neck started to become affected and I was literally commando crawling at this point. my mouth was unable to hold in water even though I was desperately thirsty and I couldn't hold my water bottle. My partner called me and I was barely able to manipulate my mouth to speak any words at all without stumbling over my words and slurring my speech.

I decided to just go with it, lay down, try and sip water in the hopes I could flush out whatever was causing this. it has worn off a lot now 10 hours later, I am able to speak and move with the occasional wobbly feeling but my hands still refuse to cooperate and I can't eat properly. It was both an annoying and kind of scary experience. Apparently 'wood lovers paralysis' can cause potentially life threatening symptoms through respiratory distress. I've asked a few other people and they haven't experienced this, including my partner who is way more seasoned than I am. Has anyone else had any experiences with this? Located in Australia

Hi everyone,

I'm writing here because I'm really interested in psychedelic mushrooms, higher consciousness, and everything related to them. I've taken mushrooms at different points in my life, but not every experience has been positive. I'd say only about 25% of my trips were genuinely good, and those experiences are what make me want to keep exploring and understand what works best for me: the right setting, mindset, dosage, and so on.

The problem is that I often become anxious before the mushrooms even start to take effect. Once that anxiety kicks in, I begin overthinking, which tends to shape the whole trip in a direction I don't enjoy. Instead of feeling relaxed and open to the experience, I end up feeling tense.

I've struggled with anxiety in the past, but after years of psychotherapy I'm in a much better place now. It's almost gone, and even when I do feel anxious, I'm much better at managing it. That's why I feel this could be a good time to try mushrooms again. Even so, I still expect that initial wave of anxiety at the beginning of the experience.

I've been wondering whether I should trip by myself. Sometimes the people I'm with when I take psychedelics put me in a strange headspace, and I wonder if being alone might actually help me feel more comfortable.

Earlier this year I also tried LSD for the first time. It was one of the strongest and most surreal experiences I've ever had. I experienced what felt like ego dissolution, a deep sense of connection, and encounters with what felt like alien entities. I loved the experience overall. However, as it was wearing off, I had a very intense panic attack, and the anxiety stayed with me for hours. It was horrible. Looking back, I still see the experience as positive overall, but that ending was incredibly difficult.

So I know anxiety is still something I need to take into account. I've often read that people with anxiety should avoid psychedelics, but I'm deeply curious about them. I'm fascinated by consciousness, spirituality, and the connection between the mind, the body, and reality. For me, psychedelics feel like a possible way of reconnecting with the world.

I'm trying to figure out the safest and most appropriate way to approach another experience. I'd really appreciate any suggestions—whether it's about dosage, setting, preparation, integration, or anything else that you think might help.

Thanks!