My MIL finds boujee balls at her local dog park and gives them to my dog because hers don't like them. So, we had a new ball today. It was solid and my dog LOVED it.

Right up until I bounced it into the neighbours yard. Y'know, the one with a bunch of junk and cars in their backyard? Yeah I'm not getting that back.

Dog was MISERABLE. so...I found the ball online!!!

And I found out for an extra couple dollars, I could have it... tonight.

So currently I'm watching a delivery driver pick up a single ball from the pet store to deliver to my dog within forty minutes of ordering.

This is so ridiculous I love it.

I work in an OR, mainly in neurosurgery, and my work bestie and I have been working together long enough that, when we're not actually doing surgery, we communicate almost exclusively through movie quotes. Yesterday, we had just finished an eight-hour craniotomy and were cleaning up while the surgeon was on the phone doing his dictation. Bestie and I were doing quotes from Kingpin, and when the neurosurgeon stood up and said "ok, thanks guys, have a good day," I replied without thinking, "bye, whore!" He paused for a moment and then decided to pretend he didn't hear. We need to remove Kingpin from the quote rotation.

Yesterday, I went on a date with a girl, our first ever and we agreed to a second one, which is awesome. But, my biggest hurdle is that I was never taught how to flirt. I'm trying to get better as time goes on, but there's some minor risk there. I only sort of flirted that entire date as most of it was just fun conversation, but there was a clinical point where I saw an opportunity.

While we were walking around, there was a bird that I brought up and that lead to her asking what my favorite animal was. Since I was already comfortable with the environment, I didn't think before I nearly spoke. So for a half-second, I was dead-set on saying "you," so much so that I got a fragment of the "y" sound out. The whiplash was so bad that I became very obviously uncomfortable, so I had to admit to her that I was about to have "the worst response possible." I cleaned it up by saying my actual favorite animal and saying that the initial response was "humans."

The outlook of the night probably would've been a lot different had I said that, especially since that was 20 or so minutes in. And, anyone, please use that response when someone you're interested in asks that question so I can look into the alternate reality where I said that.

Today I took a trip to my parent’s apartment and they’re not here atm, so it’s just me. It’s one of those apartment hotel hybrid type deals, so it has a pool and a hot tub.

I didn’t feel like going to the movie theater tonight and decided I’ll go tomorrow instead, but it was too early to have dinner so I decided to go to the pool hot tub area.

I picked out a cute swimsuit and got to the pool area. I got into the hot tub and it was weirdly cold, but I thought maybe it had to warm up, idk. I turned on the jets and sat in the tub for a bit. Not fully submerged, just at the highest step.

After older dude came by and tested the water, he seemed to think it would get warmer, but after a while I noticed a sign. My blind add didn’t noticed it had an out of order sign, which explains the hot tub being cold. I’ve never had to wait for the water to warm up before. Turns out I got my ass wet for nothing. I got out and dried off for a bit.

I sat on the out end to get changed and stuff. The older dude came back and sat in it, so maybe it started working again, idk. I was already pretty set on just leaving and something felt awkward about getting in when there was a scantily clad older dude in there anyway. I ended up going to get kfc instead, which was very below average

I had to travel for a few weeks (Work Related), and there was a small casino near the hotel where I was staying. I would go almost every night to play blackjack/Poker and get a steak.

I met this dealer there. She was sharp, had an eye for detail, and one night she asked me if I was on the spectrum.

“I don’t know,” I said. “How can you tell?”

She said, “You move strategically. You eat, sit, and walk like every move is a chess match. You remind me of my little brother.”

To be fair, I’d win around $200 or $400 every night. Not a huge amount, but it was fun.

One day, she told me, “My shift is almost over. There’s a bar nearby, wanna hang out?”

“Sure,” I said, so I waited for her.

We went out, had a couple of beers and some shots. Then she said, “You know what? I’m a lesbian. Does that bother you?”

“Nah, that’s hot,” I said and I am also a lesbian. She laughed

Well, we had fun. We went to her place and played Twister in her bedroom. We hung out for a few days, and it was a great time. She would also kick my ass at Mario Kart.

I really had a good time. Fast forward to this year: I saw her at a mall with a baby and what looked like her husband. She seemed really happy, and I was genuinely glad for her.

Someone in my family, either an aunt who is a Catholic nun, or one of my three adult siblings left a container of lube in the first floor half bath. No one has said anything so far. I'm surprised it is in this bathroom and not one of the full bathrooms 🙃

I walked up to a store entrance carrying two bags and just stood there waiting for the doors to open. After a few seconds an older man walked over, grabbed the handle and opened one of them. They were just regular doors. I thanked him and pretended I had been looking at my phone the whole time even though we both knew exactly what happened.

Let me set the scene. It's mid-winter 2003, Christchurch, New Zealand. I'm not a native Cantabrian however for a couple of years I worked in the city. It's a dreary Sunday afternoon and I'm standing in what was the big bus stop on Colombo Street, opposite Ballantynes. I'm staring off into space, wondering when my bus will arrive when I spot a lady who appears to be staring at me. Now, I'm not the kind of guy that usual happens to so I looked around, and nope, there's no one behind me or near me.

This lady was a dead ringer for Charlize Theron. My memory of the details are hazy but what is for certain is she was wearing a head scarf, her clothes suggested a tendancy towards Bohemian and she carried a carpet bag.

At the time I was useless with women I didn't know, shy to the point of inaction. For the next few minutes she would smile at me, look away, then look back, smile, rinse and repeat. I, like a womble, stood there smiling and trying to desperately force my body to move towards her so I could say hello.

Just as my will power was getting control of the situation, a bus heading towards the Port Hills/Lyttleton appeared, she jumped on and then was gone. I was so annoyed at myself.

For the next couple of months I returned to the same bus stop, on the same time and day but I never saw her again.

I think about her occasionally, wondering what her side of the story might be.