Mama gw meninggal hampir 2 minggu yg lalu di RS karna sakit. Mama udh dirawat dari tgl 29 Juni, tp baru tau penyakitnya apa itu hari Rabu, 8 Juli, dan meninggal 2 hari kemudian.

Mama gw sakit leukimia, dan nunggu hasil tes BMP itu sekitar 5 harian. Mama gw cuma bertahan 2 hari setelah terdiagnosa leukimia. Dunia gw hancur bgt wkt tau dia sakit leukimia, gw tau duluan hari selasa malem krn susternya ngasih tau gw. Tapi wkt itu gw tetep optimis, gw pengen mama bisa kemo. Terus nnti mau bone marrow transplant kl kondisi stabil dan gw pasti mau diambil sumsum buat mama gw. Pokoknya apapun akan gw lakuin, berapa pun uang yg harus dikeluarin. Krn memang uang bukan masalah, uang bisa dicari lagi.

Kondisi mama gw emg lemah, limpa dan pankreasnya bengkak. Awalnya gw kira kanker pankreas but nope, ternyata leukimia. Minggu pertama di RS mama gw masih bisa jalan, ke kamar mandi, main hp, masih bisa gw bercandain..tp setelah BMP kondisinya melemah. Dia sangat sangat gak nyaman, pindah posisi tidur itu bisa puluhan kali dlm sehari. Gw bawain bantal dia dari rumah pun jg gak membantu. Mama gw jarang ngeluh, cuma bilang kalo badannya gak enak, tiap hari muntah apalagi setelah makan. Gusi berdarah, pipis berdarah, kalau mimisan cuma sekali aja. Memar di kakinya besar2 dan kakinya bengkak.

Asam urat mama gw itu 28. Normalnya padahal 6, sampe dokter hematolog aja gak percaya dan ambil tes lagi buat mastiin. Gw lihatnya sangat sangat gak tega, kasian bgt mama gw kondisinya gitu. Masuk ke RS pertama itu ngeluhnya cuma asam lambung. Asam lambung udh seminggu gak sembuh2 dan udh ke dokter bahkan ke IGD tp ttp gak sembuh makanya kita mutusin untuk ke dr gastro dan akhirnya rawat inap.

Anyways, kl ngejelasin kondisi medis mama gw panjang banget gak akan selesai. Intinya itu papa pengen gw buruan kerja lagi. Gw emang tahun ini gak kerjaa dan cuma ikutan part time, volunteer, dan ikut kelas bahasa asing. Wkt mama di RS, gw minta libur dulu untuk kelas bhs asingnya krn gentian jaga. Seminggu setelah mama gak ada, papa gw minta CV gw untuk dikirim ke temennya. Jujur, gw gak mau. Gw belom siap buat ketemu orang baru, harus pasang wajah ramah dan senyum. Gw nangis tiap hari…bahkan waktu kelas bhs asing yg gak ada trigger nya sama sekali tbtb nangis aja gitu.

Temen2 gw hampir tiap hari ke rumah buat nemenin gw kl papa pergi ke kantor. Gw sangat bersyukur punya sahabat yg sangat baik, dan memang membantu untuk gw gak mikirin mama terus. Tapi kl gw sendiri pasti gw nangis. Gw deket bgt sama mama gw, kemana2 berdua, punya inside jokes sendiri, tas baju sepatu gantian, gw kenal baik sm temen2 mama gw krn kemana2 ikut wkwk entah jadi supir atau fotografer mrk atau emg suruh ikut aja gitu. Gw anak mama bgt, manja bgt gw sama mama gw. Gak pernah terpikir akan ditinggal secepet ini, dan gak terpikir mama sakit parah spt itu. Gw kira cuma gerd atau apa lah tipes kek. Kalo papa gw marah2, pasti mama gw yg belain. Kita sering ngomongin papa dibelakang scr diem2 lol. She was my best friend!! Gak ada orng di dunia ini yg tau ttg gw luar dalam selain mama gw. Cinta bgt gw sama mama. Masih butuh mama disamping gw.

Gw habis berantem sama papa krn dia ngungkit2 CV lagi, bilang kalau mama akan pengen gw untuk kerja. Gw paham betul maksud papa gw baik, tp beneran gw belom bisa. Gw keluar cuma buat les doang sisanya ya di rumah. Udh gak ikut part time dan volunteer lg. Gw merasa papa maunya gw normal lagi, sat set cari kerja biar bisa aktifitas seperti dulu. Menurut gw kecepetan, tp gw bilang gt ke papa dia kayak gak bisa menerima juga. Dia bilang kalo dia jg sedih bgt dan merasa kehilangan tp dunia terus berjalan.

Gw gatau harus bilang apa ke papa..gw udh bilang kasih gw waktu dan ruang untuk memproses ini semua. Gw merasa dia lebih gak enak sm temennya yg nawarin kerjaan, dia gatau harus bales apa ke temennya kl gw gamau kirim CV. Udah gak ada yg belain gw lagi, bingung harus bilang apa ke papa biar dia ngerti kalo gw gak bisa kayak dia yg mentalnya kuat. Papa gw tegar bgt, dia bisa langsung aktifitas kerja, sepedaan pdhl gw tau dia juga hancur…sedangkan gw emang cuma nangis aja. Papa pengen gw niru dia, tp gak bisaaaa😭 masih sakit bgt rasanya tubuh, jiwa, pikiran ini..Ternyata se sakit itu ditinggal pergi orang tua, gw kehilangan my other half. I love my mom the most, she was my everything🥹🥹 Gw sm papa ke makam dia tiap hari, rasanya pengen ikutan mama aja. Gw gak punya semangat hidup lagi, gw gatau harus gmn tanpa mama gw. Kehilangan arah, pengen mama ada disamping gw. Help me

​

For context, this is about my brother's girlfriend. Overall, she's a genuinely nice person, and before this happened, I felt comfortable around her.

1. The medication situation before our conversation

A few weeks before this conversation, I needed to refill my psychiatric medication through Halodoc.

I don't have a motorcycle, and the pharmacy was much closer to her place than mine. So I suggested having the medication delivered to her place first, then paying for a Gojek/Grab driver to pick it up and deliver it to me. I made it very clear that I was completely willing to pay for both deliveries. I wasn't asking her to buy my medication or personally bring it to me.

She insisted that I didn't need to do that and said she would handle it herself instead.

The problem was that she already had a family gathering that day, so I ended up waiting until the next day before I could get my medication. At the time I just accepted it, even though my original plan would have gotten my medication sooner.

1. Why I felt safe opening up

Later, we spent the day together, just hanging out and talking.

She told me that she had several friends with serious mental health conditions. She said some of them saw psychiatrists, took psychiatric medication, and some had even been hospitalized.

Because of that, I felt safe opening up to her. I thought she had enough experience around mental illness that she would understand where I was coming from.

1. She acknowledged my medication was helping

After we ate together, I took my prescribed medication in front of her.

She told me she had noticed a big difference since I started taking it. She said I seemed much more talkative and that I was even comfortable talking with her friends, which apparently wasn't how I used to be.

Hearing that made me happy because I thought she could actually see that my treatment was helping.

1. The conversation that left me confused

When we got back to her place, we started talking about my mental health.

The first thing she asked was whether my mom approved of me taking psychiatric medication and seeing a psychiatrist.

I explained that, based on my own experience, my family especially my mom is very conservative about mental health. They weren't supportive of psychiatric treatment, and getting help had been difficult.

Instead of asking more about my experience, she repeatedly told me that she didn't think my parents actually saw it that way.

That confused me because I wasn't giving an opinion—I was describing my own conversations with my own family.

Then she asked if I was worried about becoming addicted to my medication.

That completely caught me off guard because she had literally just told me she could see how much the medication had helped me.

I tried explaining that taking medication as prescribed isn't the same thing as addiction, and that I still sometimes forget to take my medication. Trying to explain that was exhausting because it felt like I had to defend the legitimacy of my treatment.

Her response was essentially that the problem was that I needed the medication in order to improve, which confused me even more because... isn't that what prescribed medication is supposed to do?

Later, she also kept bringing up how expensive my medication was and said something along the lines of:

"I can't keep buying your medication because it's expensive."

That really hurt because I had never actually asked her to take responsibility for buying my medication in the first place. I had originally offered another solution and was willing to pay for everything myself.

She also kept redirecting the conversation toward the idea that what I really needed was hobbies and more friends. While I agree those things are important, I felt like every time I tried to explain my mental health, the conversation was steered back toward those same conclusions instead of acknowledging what I was actually saying.

By the end of the conversation, I found myself saying things like, "Maybe I just need to be more grateful," "Maybe I just need more hobbies," and "Maybe I just need more friends."

Looking back, I don't even know whether I truly believed those things in that moment or whether I was just tired of trying to explain myself.

1. Why this still bothers me

The reason this conversation has stayed with me is because my mental health has been severe enough that I've needed psychiatric treatment. During some of the hardest periods of my life, I struggled with thoughts of escaping everything, so conversations about my treatment are incredibly sensitive for me.

I wasn't looking for someone to solve my problems. I think I was just hoping to feel understood after she told me she had experience supporting friends with mental illness.

Instead, I left feeling like I had spent more time defending my treatment than talking about my actual experience.

I'm not saying she's a bad person or that she had malicious intentions.

I'm simply wondering whether my reaction is understandable. From my perspective, it felt like the conversation kept being redirected toward concerns about medication, addiction, cost, and simple lifestyle solutions instead of understanding what I was trying to communicate.

Would you also have left this conversation feeling misunderstood, or am I reading too much into it?

Okayy so i just started my MUA journey and i need as many lipstick i can afford.

dan lewat terus di fyp tiktok lip liner Buttonscarves yang harganya 29rb, i thought like “hmm bukannya Buttonscarves tasnya overrated ya?” (pardon my skepticism)

but i really need to buy new lip kits though, jadi aku coba aja lah beli 2 lip liner ini, pikirku karena lip liner is sooo expensive, why not get a good one with good deal? sebelumnya aku nonton review dulu, dan ternyata MUA banyak pake makeup brand Buttonscarves karena bagus, jadi aku percayakan buat beli…

tbh packaging nya bagus banget dan lucu pol😭 pas aku apply ngambang aja ini texture nya creamy banget dan easy to apply, easy to blend, smudge proof ketika udah ngeset, and i really love the color😭

dia exp baru januari tahun depan but i mean this lip liner i would definitely use this on my makeup clients and myself so pasti bakal run out before that time😍

Hi perempuan yang sudah punya anak, mau tanya pendapat jujur kalian. Apakah sejujurnya kalian happy dengan kehidupan kalian setelah punya anak? Apakah ada penyesalan?

Gue sendiri masih belum yakin untuk punya anak atau engga. Secara biologis sih keinginan itu selalu ada, tapi rasionalitas selalu menghalangi, mainly ketakutan bahwa hidup aku akan menjadi ga happy setelah punya anak. Banyak banget yang mesti dikorbankan, personal goals and dreams, my leisure time, sleep, money, my body and my indepence. Dan takut juga hubungan dengan pasangan akan menurun kualitasnya (banyak research yg bilang itu).

Anyway, pertanyaan ini sebenarnya muncul karena gue abis ngajak jalan temen-temen gue. Dan salah satunya adalah seorang Ibu yang ribeet banget pertimbangannya. Dia kudu pikirin tempat dimana anak (dan suaminya) bisa main sambil nungguin dia nongkrong bareng kita. Apakah memang sesusah itu ya meninggalkan anak sama suami untuk nongkrong 2-3 jam aja? Beneran nanya, karena gue ga punya anak. Jadi ga tau rasanya.. :(

Kadang kalau punya plan atau tujuan baru, males banget cerita ke ortu. Bukannya didukung, mereka malah makin pressuring. Ini padahal belum dicoba, tapi mereka udah nakut nakutin duluan. Begitu kita nggak mau dengerin atau coba bertahan sama argumen kita, langsung dibilang sok pinter.

Padahal plan ini udah direncanain jauh jauh hari dengan matang, lengkap sama semua resiko positif negatif yang bisa aku handle. At least tanya dulu apa yang mereka nggak paham, jangan langsung point out ini pasti hal negatif. Kalau gagal ya udah buat pengalaman, kalau berhasil pun it's great for me and them.

​Aku cuma frustasi aja. Rasanya kaya jalan di tempat dengan segala aturan mereka yang kolot dan kaku. Mereka kayak takut keluar dari comfort zone mereka sendiri.

​Aku jadi belajar, never share my goals with them. Tapi tetep aja ribet, karena pas proses jalan mereka bakal terus kepo, plus suka pamer/cerita ke tetangga atau kerabat padahal hasilnya aja belum kelihatan. Bener bener beban mental banget.

​Bener sih kata temen, kalau pengen bebas, solusinya emang harus move out dari rumah dan pergi dari situasi toxic ini.

Target 1000 followers dan 3 post perminggu.

Hi Puann, as the title said, i kinda need help for the pricelist for my MUA job.

there’s already few DMs from social media about people asking for my pricelist. Tapi aku bingung banget, sebenernya udah dapet bbrp insight dan dapet pricelist dari MUA lain, cuman aku ngerasa kayak “how to set the perfect pricelist sesuai dengan skill aku?”

1. Makeup aku belum ada yg high end, most of them are still local brand atau brand luar yg nggak mahal, but aku mastiin mereka semua brand legit.
   
2. Aku belum bisa makeup yang gimana-gimana, kinda scared kalo ada client yg tbtb request makeup di luar skill aku, yang akupun masih perlu belajar.

Menurut puan disini, untuk MUA pemula seperti aku, harus set harga berapa dulu ya? 🥹

here’s two example of my makeup on my muse if it helps!

Aku 25 tahun dan kayak baru akhir-akhir ini sadar kalo bloatedness yang aku alamin kayaknya emang ada underlying causenya deh. Aku baru sadar kayak... wait i don't think i used to bloat when i woke up but now i do and i don't remeber when this started. Dan daripada blindly trying things out (karenya BANYAK banget possible causesnya) to address this aku emang mau coba gitu ke dokter (atau nutritionist?) yang emang bagus. Ada sih dokter di kota aku (obviously haha) tapii aku pengen tau aja manatau kalian emang ada kenal dokter yg kalian suka. Sooo ada rekomendasi gak puans? Anywhere in sumatra or jawa is fine. Thanks in advance!!

Maaf mau nanya, apakah ada yang pernah pakai AloDokter untuk book Psikolog maupun Dokter? Kalau sudah, ini untuk buat janji di AloDokter, terkhusus Psikolog apakah biayanya sudah sesuai dengan yang tertera untuk 1x konseling atau ada biaya lain dari rumah sakit lagi ya? Terima kasih!

Hey guys, wanna ask about what i've been feeling lately.

For the context, i'm F23, have a very loving family. Both of my parents are present, and i do also have a loving boyfie. They are always support me, but idk(?) Somehow sebagai 1st born daughter yang selalu dikasi ekspektasi setinggi langit, tbh sekarang i never really feel enough. Especially kalau ketemu sama temen2 sekolah, temen2 kuliah, dosen or even tetangga or orang yang kenal sama aku.

They are now asking me "sekarang uda jadi apa?" "Sekarang kerja dimana?" "Sekarang hidupmu gimana?"

I used to worked but went resigned on november last year, aku kerja nonstop bisa pagi ketemu pagi karena posisinya juga lumayan untuk entry level (pada saat itu). Tidur pun sehari bisa cuma 3 jam karena aku pulang uda malem tapi jam 3 pagi uda harus bangun buat siap2 berangkat kerja (yes, i'm that crazy).

Sebenernya aku udah ngerasa ga cocok dari awal, and banyak juga yang ga cocok sama aku. Tapi managerku saat itu merasa aku bagus and was holding me there and tbh i learned so much from him but at the same time.

Aku waktu itu resign tanpa diskusi ke keluarga, literally langsung mutusin resign karena menurutku lingkungannya uda toxic bgt and kalau diskusi sama keluarga, mereka bakal nyuruh aku bertahan dlu karena aku ngedapetin kerja juga ga mudah.

I basically resign, abis itu aku langsung ngabarin ke rumah kalau aku mau pulang.

Now i'm continuing my education, tapi karena ngeliat temen2 pada kerja, and my boyfie juga dapet beasiswa buat ngelanjutin study dia (i'm very happy and proud of him). Aku jadi ngerasa i'm not enough and always want more karena merasa gabisa sehebat mereka.

Padahal dlu pas kuliah S1, aku bisa kuliah sambil part time, asdos, dan masih bisa dapet beasiswa bergengsi and berakhir cumlaude tapi sama sekali ga burn out.

Tapi sekarang semuanya kayak berat banget, bahkan aku bisa tidur seharian dan masih ngantuk banget.

Kenapa ya aku gabisa kayak dlu? Why am i being like this? Why am i so confused about my own self? Why am i so tired padahal aku itungannya ga ngapa2in dirumah?

Hi Puans

Visiting Indonesia for work after living abroad for awhile. Me and my partner is into consensual, queer friendly, bi swinging and was wondering if anyone has any info if such communities exist in Indonesia.

Disclaimer: I know recent news of “boti hunter” and reddit being seemingly unblocked in Indonesia so the flair is just a safeguarding method for this safe space

Puan, di kondisi ekonomi sekarang kayaknya udah mulai butuh side hustle..

Adakah puan-puan di sini yang mau membagikan sedang mengerjakan side hustle apa? Atau ada yg punya ide side hustle yang bisa dikerjakan di luar jam kerja?

Jujur aku selama ini fokus aja kerja 9-5 terlena ritme kantor, dan ga sadar skill aku disitu-situ aja, aku kerja di bidang project management. Mungkin kalau tiba-tiba kantor ada layoff , di umur yang 30+ ini kayaknya saingannya udah bakalan cukup berat dengan anak-anak fresh grad yang ga dipungkiri lebih relevan dengan perkembangan teknologi..

Kalau ga mau komen tp mau sharing di DM boleh juga, sambil berkenalan 😊

Semangat puan puan pejuang rupiah 💪💪

hey y'all so.... i am open for discussion dari cewe maupun cowo. i have a brother yg skrg umur 19 tahun (he's an only son), fyi our dad is emotionally and physically unavailable, cmn ngirim uang aja for years jd my mom and i have been raising this family sendiri. the thing is, my mom dari dulu selaluuu manjain my brother. manjain as in, she always forgives him when he makes mistakes (unlike when i make mistakes), nyokap gapernah nyuruh adek beberes rumah or basic chores, nyokap selalu lemah lembut ke dia. beda bgt lah kalo ke gw sih galak mampus. alhasil sampe skrg adek gw ni pemalas & kalo disuruh tuh pasti ngajak debat & ngeles terus.

sbnrnya to me it;s not an issue bcs i'm used to basic human chores & i have a survival instinct of a warrior... but seeing my mom now having to beg my brother to do the simplest shit (e.g., buang sampah, cuci piring sendiri, dll) itu bikin gw KESEL mampus. kyk he's the most incompetent lazy Pie*e of sh*t ohmyyy.

my question..... how do i humble my brother down?? how do i slap him in the face supaya dia gak manja & gak treat us women like we're his maids? and fyi kita gak pernah punya ART seumur hidup ya, dan my brother ni susah bgt minta ampun utk disuruh melakukan hal mudah simple.

i am scared that IF my mother passes away, my brother will be a parasite karena dia tipe yg ga mau hidup mandiri & mau nya dimanja. kasian siapapun perempuan nanti yg jd pasangan dia lol. there's no way gw punya kesabaran kyk nyokap gw.... but again my mom set him up that way.

apakah di sini ada kaka2 perempuan yg memiliki anggota keluarga dgn issue yang sama? how do you stay calm? how do you navigate and find a solution to this? rasanya impossible

Hi girls,

If you have any sling bags recommendations, would love to know!

What I'm searching:
1. Medium in size, can fit lots of things, but not to big & heavy
2. Quality is number 1, the longer it can last, the better
3. International travel friendly, if it can fit tumblr/ water bottles would be great
4. Leather material is a no go
5. Yang ringan lebih baik, tapi bahannya masih kain (cotton, etc), not parasut
6. Style-wise, looking for something yang casual/ maybe bit gothic is okay too/ vintage (tapi tergantung style), to note*unisex options also considered, tapi lihat dulu karena cari yang bisa masuk to any kind of style in terms of outfits, since it's going to be for everyday use also
7. Thrift/ preloved recommendations are also okay!
8. Price-wise, the more affordable the better. But any recommendations are considered since also looking for quality.

Any recommendations are appreciated! Would love to hear from fellow puans

Hi Puans,

Welcome to Semi-weekly Chat Thread.

Remember to be nice and supportive of each other.

If any issue, please let Mods know.

Hi I’m f22 and I just had a bad break up.

I love my ex so much I just really wished things were different and we could make it out.

How to cope with it I can’t do any activities without feeling sad? How to feel fine with being single?

hi girls..

(i;m F23), i've been thinking about investing in skin treatments (e.g., hifu, derma bright/skinbooster, lasers, etc) supaya lebih cantik & pede. selama ini i don't really invest much in my skin karena i thought yaudah aja gitu, but somehow it clicked to me that i'm young and i should explore what makes me feel good. looking good makes me feel good! tp treatments2 ini tuh kan mahal yaa, so idk should i try first? sblm nya ga pernah ngeluarin budget besar untuk kecantikan! mentok2 maybe makeup bagus highend. tp pengen kelihatan lebih attractive (for myself of course). ngeliat cewe2 cantik di luar sana sangat merawat diri nya itu inspires me to do the same.

how much do you spend per month for treatments? is it worth it? any recommendations? i want to glow up physically!! give me all the tips you have

Halo puans! Akhir-akhir ini aku merasa kulitku agak kusam, jadi mau mengganti serum jadi brightening serum. Apakah ada yang punya rekomendasi brightening serum? Lokal/korea/western boleh, kalau bisa yang gak ada kandungan vitamin c karena kulitku kurang cocok sama vitamin c.

Thank you in advance!

Haloo sebenernya ini pertanyaan umum yaa, tapi aku mau nanya disini karna kebetulan mau tau cara kerja diagnosis di indonesia + this is a safe place for me hehe ;))

Jadi emang aku sering dibilang clumsy, suka zoned out dan lupaan gitu. It's kinda frustrating, karna aku sampe pernah ketinggalan dompet dan kacamata (untung gak ilang), dan kelewatan rute terakhir di TJ dan jadinya harus nunggu setengah jam buat balik ke halte pemberhentian aku.

Aku udah searching adhd dari lama dan beberapa kali kepikiran buat cek tapi masih ragu ragu gitu. Nah sekarang kepikiran lagi karna tiap video dan podcast mengenai adhd bener bener relate banget sama aku. Mau tanya, kalau dapet diagnosis itu apa bisa buat janji biasa ke psikolog rumah sakit, atau harus buat janji khusus untuk diagnosis begitu? Terus apa bisa dicover sama asuransi? Kira kira berapa lama hasilnya keluar? Oke makasih! :D

i'm in my mid-twenties & pan, but leaning heavily towards same sex. i've only dated & had situationships w/ foreigners and never really explored my own ppl. where do sapphics usually meet each other? i heard that her is a big no no... so what dating apps are ok? i've tried twt and it's... meh. most of them have very diff lifestyles w/ me (maybe bcs most of them don't even live in jkt so yeah..😔). i've also gone to bars during ladies' night but no luck at all😭

F19 nyoba menstrual cup karena capek pake pad sering bocor dan juga ribet nyucinya. Udah 3 jam gabisa-bisa masuk padahal udah pakai lubricant S. Ukuran paling kecil karena masih virgin tapi tetep gabisa..

Apa harus ke dokter ya?? Dan buat cek ginian tuh harus ke dokter mana😭🙏

Padahal jari (super skinny) masih bisa masuk satu.

Hi girls! Aku mau nanya rekomendasi lipstick yang bener” ninggalin bekas/transferable!

Lagi ngide bikin bf tshirt yg banyak lipstick stain gt tapi kl dipikir” hampir semua lippen yg aku punya kayaknya gabakal ngestain atau hilang sekali cuci, jadi ada rekom kah? Thankies in advance!💖