I know people are only trying to help, and I really do appreciate it.

But every now and then someone says something like, "Just keep them busy," or "Maybe they need a quiet activity," and I just think... I wish it was that simple.

Some days something works, and the next day it's like they've never liked it before. Then people wonder why I don't just keep doing the same thing every day.

I used to explain why certain advice didn't really work for us, but now I usually just smile, say "thanks," and leave it at that. It's honestly easier.

I don't expect everyone to understand what it's like. I just wish people knew we're not ignoring their advice. Most of us have already tried it... and probably ten other things too.

My 7 year old daughter recently received a ADHD diagnosis and has started focalin this summer. She’s a rising 2nd grader and I emailed the school counselor to request a meeting to set up a 504 for her. In kinder and 1st her teachers were very accommodating to my requests for her to sit near the front of class and to be moved away from more distracting peers.

Her grades so far have been good and she has done well in school thus far without a 504 but the pediatrician suggested requesting one as as kids age she may need testing accommodations or preferential seating in class.

This was the response I got from her school:

“...Most doctors will immediately put the recommendation for a 504 when a child is diagnosed, but a diagnosis alone does not always mean that a student is in need of one. In order for a 504 to be put in place we have to see an academic need showing that ADHD is significantly impacting her. This would be something we can look into as she moves into 2nd grade. I can keep her on my radar and discuss with her new teacher on how she is doing to see if this is something we will need to start the process for.”

My question is what does “significantly impacting her” even mean? She comes home crying on testing days saying how frustrated she gets with distracting sounds. Struggles with emotional regulation and peer interactions.

I was just surprised that even with a letter suggesting accommodations from her pediatrician the meeting was put on pause/suggested to wait and see. Am I missing something here?

My 6 1/2 year old boy was very aggressive towards me tonight. He was hitting me repeatedly, and throwing whatever he could find at me. It all started because he was mad I put his toys away while he was at camp. They were all over the family room, and I was cleaning up today. He started to try and take them all back, and I said no. I had no idea he would react like this.

My husband travels a lot, and is gone this week. Luckily my mother in law was over. We have two younger girls ages 4 & 2. I carried him to his room to remove him since he was not being safe. He hit me multiple times while I carried him. I stayed in his room with him and blocked the door to try and keep him in there until he calmed down. He just escalated more, and was throwing pillows, legos, ect at me. It was very upsetting seeing my son like this. He was extremely dysregulated and could not control his impulses. I was talking to him calmly the whole time. He was screaming mean things at me, trying to fart on me, and just yelling. This went on for about 30 minutes. He finally pushed through me, and got out of the room. He continued to cause chaos with the family for the next hour.

I’m just at a loss. He’s diagnosed ADHD, and is on Ritalin ER. He’s been doing well with it, but does struggle in the evenings sometimes when it wears off. I want to help him but do not know what to do. We see a therapist, and also a developmental pediatrician. I’m going to reach out to them tomorrow. Does this sound like typical adhd?
I do think summer schedules, vacations, ect have made things tough for him lately. He has had some rough evenings, but he really hasn’t been aggressive in a long time. He’s the type of child who behaves well at camp/school and lets it all out at home.

Everywhere my child goes and attempts to join in on community activities, I get a complaint from the organizer of the activity about him.

The complaints are usually that they can’t control his behavior or he has had an outburst. In the past I would take on their feedback and try to curb my child’s behavior by spending significant amounts of time unpacking every part of the situation and what his role in it was.

Lately and as he is getting older I am really getting sick of it. A lot of his outbursts are because other kids are actually bullying or pushing his buttons but in a way that the adults in the room can’t hear or are not aware of and he gets in trouble for the angry outburst. The complaints to me about his behavior are because other kids are complaining about his behavior to the activity leader. What happened to inclusivity? I am finding that the world is not at all empathetic or tolerant of kids with ADHD.

Anyone else finding their child increasingly ostracized?

Hi all. Me and my wife are really struggling with our almost 7-year-old to give some background we’re based in the UK and whilst his teachers recognise that he does have ADHD and is impulsive he isn’t actually diagnosed. He is a very loving caring sweet boy and academically very bright and has lots of friends at school. However, Home life is very different. He seems virtually incapable of listening we can say things swim 567 times and he carries on. He has regular outburst. He’ll get aggressive hit kick throw things and there seems no reasoning with him when he’s like that. I’m really looking for some firsthand advice on what people have done in this situation that has helped their child with this? This is a daily occurrence not now and again. Any advice welcome to try and help him and us!??

Thank you!

I have a 9 yr old daughter . She was diagnosed with adhd when she was 4. We are looking to relocate. I’m thinking nyc or Washington state. I like nyc for the diversity and opportunities. But I’m worried it might overstimulate her. We are in Texas right now . I’m big on school systems and wonder in Washington state would be as good as nyc… recommendations?

Hi so still on the journey -3 weeks in! My 13 yr old has moved from 18mg concerta to 36mg now after a consult they want to try 54mg - he has mild adhd symptoms and masks in school - we have seen a difference in him but the 36mg wear of quickly and he can be irritable - is this normal (am I just a mom panicking about the dosage amount)??!?? New to this chapter!!

Our doctor has recommended starting Ritalin for our 4-year-old, and I'm feeling hopeful... but absolutely terrified at the same time.

If you've started medication with your child this young, would you be willing to share your experience? How did it go? Are you glad you made the decision? Is there anything you wish you had known beforehand?

My son is an amazing little boy, and I truly believe he needs help. I just want to make the best decision for him, and as his parent, this feels incredibly overwhelming.

Please, no judgment. This is already a very emotional and difficult time for our family. I'm simply looking for honest experiences—both the positives and the challenges—so I can feel as informed as possible.

Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to share. ❤️

My son is 3.5 and we have for a while thought he probably has ADHD. His dad is not officially diagnosed but we believe he has ADHD, and I know it’s hard to get a diagnosis being so young.

I’m just coming back from a daycare pick up where his teacher came and spoke to me in length about his (bad) behaviour. Now it’s unfortunately not a rare occurrence.

He can be the loveliest kid - he is very friendly and social, can be so kind, gives the best compliments, plays well. ORRRR he can be a real jerk. He can hit out of anger, ruin other people’s things, do things he shouldn’t (ruining a table cloth or swinging on things). And he KNOWS right from wrong now at this age. He understands when you talk to him and he can tell you what he shouldn’t do. Lots of times he will apologise and say all the right things - then turn around and do it all again - and other times he sort of smirks.

I feel like he has very low impulse control. He gets bored and he loves getting a rise. Like sensory seeking? Like getting in trouble is fun sometimes to him. I just don’t know how to get through to him when he seems to enjoy getting a reaction out of people. And many times just doesn’t listen. Doesn’t care about consequences etc.

For example he has a baby brother and he adores him. But he constantly pesters him
And upsets him. And it’s like he cannot control himself. I hear myself over and over “don’t grab him” “be gentle” “get off him”. He just goes too far, constantly. He is not trying to be naughty but he is just not acting appropriately.

I wondered if this kind of behaviour is common of some kids with adhd? His age of course plays into things but he’s on another level from other kids. Like we were getting called in for sit down talks about his behaviour before he was 2.

I’m just so worried that he is going to get himself into trouble and that it’s only going to get worse as
He gets older. I want to help him. He is such a good boy. I’m going to start the chat with our doctor sooner rather than later but wondered if these traits are common. I guess just feel a bit helpless and alone right now.

My step daughter was diagnosed with ADHD this week (without the hyper part) and I’ve been doing a bunch of research to understand what ADHD is and how it affects kids. My husband was also diagnosed with it earlier this year, but his symptoms present differently than hers and I believe he has the hyper part. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster to get to this diagnosis for them, and I’m trying to be as supportive as I can for them while also trying to keep everything on track in terms of household responsibilities and work/life balance (just general adulting life) etc.

One of the things my kid struggles with the most is school, which now makes a lot of sense I suppose after learning more about ADHD. She is very smart and tests scores always turn out extremely well BUT she really really does not do well with turning in homework or completing assignments. This has caused a lot of conflict at times because even while testing well, her grades have been in the fs and ds because of the missed assignments. Her dad and I are somewhat strict about school and our expectations are that her grades are at least Cs and up otherwise she will be grounded.

She usually doesn’t provide a reason other than she forgets to do them when we ask, and when we ask how we can support her she just shrugs her shoulders most of the time. This year, she is entering into highschool as a freshman and not to be dramatic but I am dreading it… I also don’t want to repeat another year of her being grounded all the time since it can’t be good for her mentally or socially and it’s a strain on her relationship with her dad especially (classic strict Mexican father iykyk).

Is there any advice fellow parents with ADHD children or even those who managed school with ADHD can provide in terms of ways I can support her without resorting to grounding/punishment? I imagine there will be times no matter when discipline is needed, but it’s the only thing she responds to currently that actually motivates her to turn her work in. Or maybe this isn’t related to ADHD at all? Idk but I’m just trying to learn a new approach since I cannot relate at all to ADHD myself.