Hey guys!! I’m wondering how you guys dealt with menstrual cycles during bootcamp? Did the drill instructor give you more time in the bathroom? Were they more lenient? Should I pack extra underwear just in case? Do you get extra time in showers for it? Etc etc. That’s a big question I’ve been wondering but my recruiter is a guy so I doubt he knows anything therefore I didn’t ask.

Sorry for the long post. Currently 21 weeks.

My husband and I are stationed at different bases about 80 miles apart, so because of where we have to live, I’m 49 miles from my assigned base. I’ve been receiving prenatal care at Base A (27 miles from my home), but I’ve been having ongoing issues with my care and I’m not sure what my options are.

Some of the concerns I’ve had:

* I’ve had pregnancy-related bleeding complications that have resulted in four ER visits. Despite this, they can never get me in any sooner than my regularly scheduled appointments, which are about once a month.
* Even with these complications, they have not classified me as high risk, although my chart states that I need closer monitoring. That closer monitoring hasn’t actually happened.
* At both my 16-week and 20-week appointments, they suggested I skip my next appointment, which would have left me going two months without being seen.
* When I tell them I’m not comfortable skipping appointments, they say they don’t have availability. However, when I ask them to put that in writing so I can request a referral elsewhere, they suddenly find an appointment instead of documenting that they can’t accommodate me.
* They also consistently try to send me to the nearby Army base (where they’ve already told me I’ll be delivering) whenever it’s inconvenient for them to see me.

The Army base is 52 miles from my home but only 16 miles from my duty station. Because I’m active duty, they keep telling me my only options are Base A or the Army hospital.

The problem is that Base A is closer to home and more convenient for my husband and me, but I’ve completely lost confidence in the care I’m receiving there and they don’t have a delivery ward. The Army hospital has the specialists and resources I would need, but there have been several recent cases involving misconduct, inappropriate behavior, sexual assault, and what many people have described as malpractice involving Army personnel and hospitals in general. As someone who has already experienced sexual assault and harassment during my military service, I’m genuinely terrified of being seen or delivering there.

I explained all of this to my doctor, but I was told that because there isn’t a medical necessity for a community referral, they won’t refer me to the civilian hospital closest to my home—the same hospital that’s treated me during all of my emergency visits.

I even involved my First Sergeant after I couldn’t get quarters following one of my bleeding episodes because I had been treated off base. My Shirt agreed the situation seemed unreasonable and connected me with the Patient Advocate. The Patient Advocate worked with my PCM, who submitted a referral for community care with medical justification, but it was denied and redirected to the Army hospital instead. I’ve been told there is nothing else they can do to get me approved for civilian care.

At this point, it feels like my options are:

* Pay out of pocket (although the hospital won’t accept self-pay while I have TRICARE Prime but I can find a different hospital nearby).
* Purchase a second health insurance policy just so I can receive care somewhere I feel safe.
* Stop attending prenatal appointments after I receive the results of my anatomy scan because I don’t feel like I have any other realistic options specialty since the only other testing my women’s health provider has told be I’ll be doing is “24 week labs”

Has anyone been through something similar? Is there another avenue I should be pursuing? Has anyone successfully appealed a denied community care referral, switched their prenatal care, or found another solution? I’d really appreciate any advice.

I’m due Dec 1st if that helps.

Hi! I’m a rising high school senior looking to do army rotc in college alongside a biology major. I’ve been researching and I’m also thinking of maybe going through the SMP program.

I was wondering if anyone here had any advice or could share some experiences with me, whether it be about rotc, SMP, or as being officer. I know the military experience can be very different for women compared to men so I want to ask here instead of the general army Reddit.

For reference, I’m 5’3 and I barely workout but I’ve been working on it! This is something I really want to do and I know it won’t be easy but I’m willing to push through. Let me know how PT was for you guys and some fitness goals I should set!

I want to know what I’m walking into so anything helps!

Sorry for the long post. Frustrated with enlisting as a single parent.

I am a single mom with two teen dependents 13 and 15 and one kid who is about to be 21. I divorced my abusive ex a little over a year ago and have been trying to enlist. Issue is I am a single mom and turn 42 Oct 30 of this year. Trying to enlist as a single parent approaching age limit is a nightmare. The irony is if I was still married I’d be able to enlist.

I am aware that all branches have met their recruiting requirements for the year which is probably why most recruiters seem to make very little effort to enlist older candidates. Waivers also mean more work.

I have family (my mother and/or my exes mother plus my adult son) to care for the two teens while I am gone. I also understand the impact that the kids will face and have had many discussions with all 3 of my children about long term separation and dangerous deployment.

Yes, I know there is an active war right now. I wanted to enlist when I was 18 during 9/11 but I chickened out and also was blindly in love. I may not agree with the current war but I do believe in the constitution and that the US should be protected.

I also understand that me waiting is part of the problem. I did speak with a recruiter a few years back but then redirected energy towards my divorce. A few months back I started running and exercising to get in better shape before contacting the recruiter again. I never would have thought the onboarding process was so disorganized and long that it takes 6 months to a year to onboard someone.

Issues and inconsistencies I see enlisting as a single (aged) parent:

Coast Guard - too old to enlist but single parent can keep custody of kids, kids receive benefits and get BAH.

Air Force/Space Force - can keep keep kids but recruiters in my area all say the meps/waivers enlaisting will take too long before I turn 42. Kids get benefits and get BAH. I don’t expect to hear from SF at my age.

Navy - conflicting info may have to give up physical custody by court 90 days prior or done with a simple notarized parenting plan. Kids of single parents are not eligible to come with my first enlistment (I understand this and am ok with it - my kids understand as well). Kids get benefits and most things I read say BAH differential is paid via child support.

Army - cannot enlist active duty without giving up full custody of my children. Thus the kids will not have benefit coverage nor do I receive BAH. Seems like a cost savings for the Army. This is or part-time guard seems like the only choice I have left.

Guard for any branch - is part time and will basically only cover the cost of health benefits unless deployed. I also can’t get clarification on if I could ever go reserve to active duty in future years because of age limitation (I would consider this).

Just seems weird that the rules aren’t the same for all parents in any branch. If I am wrong on any of the about please let me know.

If anyone knows any recruiters willing to try in a short time I would love to talk with them. I am aware that I will possibly need a medical waiver. I gave up a lot of goals for 20 years for my ex and this is one of them I am hoping I don’t have to give up on another one.

Also, why is there not an option to prorate the 20 year retirement requirement. The 20 year mandatory is a big barrier. Why hasn’t the US created a way to have it prorated in this instance? There are tons of stories about older recruits either crushing basic or having to work a little harder physically but then being an excellent enlistee.

Any feedback is appreciated.

Hello, hopefully this is the right place for this. I feel so conflicted on my thought process here. I have a great husband and we've spoken about this but I guess I would like outsider opinions/thoughts.

I'm 25, one kid, husband, and expecting currently so future family of four. I'm in nursing school right now for my BSN. I'm interested in applying to Officer Training School with the Air Force. Specifically OTS-NTP (Nurse Transitions Program). My husband is prior service now medically retired. So military life isn't something new to me or my husband. My kid is only two so I know she won't remember his time in service. If anyone does know how OTS to NTP works, OTS is not like BMT. So here's where I just need some advice or thoughts?

I want to do this so badly. I'm working so hard in nursing school, I love nursing, my husband and I never wanted to be duel military. His retirement was very unexpected. So my turn to service has came faster than we both originally thought. Which is no problem! I'm super excited to get the chance to do what I've always wanted to do. I've already contacted a recruiter and they're working with me currently to make sure I have everything I need for when it's time to apply. People can apply 365 days out from graduation so I have a bit of time but still good to reach out now. My issue is that I see benefits to joining and not joining of course. There's always pros and cons. My biggest issue is that there are a lot of people around me that are telling me I shouldn't do it? To the point it's my own parents. It's honestly driving me nuts. This is in no way turning me away from wanting to do this. I just want to understand what is the stigma or problem with ME wanting to join. But my husband was supported and cheered on for joining. I'm being torn down left and right, new questions. New thoughts. It's so bad that people point out in a mother. And I should be there for my kids. OTS is 8.5 weeks. They get phones. I'm not saying I'll have a ton of time to speak to my family. But I'm not completely isolated like BMT.

I just need help. I'm sure there's many people out there with the same story. Maybe a little support even from people I have no idea who they are would be nice. My husband and father in law (also prior military) are like the only two people with a hand on my back, telling me nice things. It stinks to have no parent personally to speak to about parenthood, or just to talk to about anything. My spouse has and is always my go to person to talk about anything. This group seems so informative and supportive. ❤️ Hopefully I've thrown up everything I've needed to say and formulated it enough to be sort of understandable. Apologies in advance.

hi all! i’m going to meps on tuesday to complete my enlistment (as a current army spouse). we will both be active duty, my husband being infantry, and i need a little help choosing an mos. the current open job pool is a lot of engineering and mechanics, which im not interested in, but there are a few positions i’ve been back and forth between. they all have a lot of pros and cons on social media when i try to research!

68w (combat medic), 88m (basically a truck driver i think), and 74d (cbrn spc).

i’m mostly leaning towards 68w as i took a cna class in high school and have always seen myself pursuing a medical career. i was initially going to go to nursing school but decided to enlist to pay for my schooling and give myself a head start. BUT id like to hear any and all pros and cons on each of these jobs!! i have a top ten choice list that my recruiter said they will call and try to get me a spot, but these are the current open spots im willing to consider. thanks in advance!

hi everyone! just wanted to reach out here & see if anyone has any answers for one of my questions… for back story i am an e5 at fort bliss & about to begin my CSP (career skills program) in colorado springs in october.

my fiance is also in the military (we have been together since high school) stationed at fort carson & still has like a year & a half until he PCS again which is why i’m doing my CSP in colorado springs..

my question is this: if you are pregnant/become pregnant before or during CSP do they cancel it? i’m doing my csp & will have an exemption to policy memo to begin my terminal directly after completing my csp so i will be clearing my unit/post before beginning in october but i am a little worried i might be pregnant before starting my csp. since ill be right there at fort carson couldn’t i just go to my appointments there while doing my csp? does anyone have insight on this?

I’ve been seriously considering joining for a long time now , the benefits greatly outweigh the cons in terms of financial stability , career alignment ect. My biggest concern right now would be the direction the military is going under Hegseth is starting to seem like his goal is minimize women in service with this whole testosterone thing just the way he speaks about women in general. Basically I’m just wondering if there’s any active duty women worried about this or if i’m reaching 🫠

How do you guys do your hair? I don’t like using gel every day because I don’t like washing my hair every day, but I have a problem with fly-aways.
Looking for a solution that doesn’t include 500 Bobby pins OR a gel that slicks it back but doesn’t get suuuuuper hard after to the point I can’t brush it out and have to wash it.

Hello everyone, so I’m currently in the enlistment process and waiting on some waivers to get approved, but I wanted to know a little bit more about how to keep clean hygiene during basic.

Now I have heard that we have to take quick showers during basic training but I wanted to ask are we allowed to take any more showers throughout the day to stay clean?? And how frequently can we use the bathroom??

Because as women we are prone to getting uti’s and when some of us are on our periods is not good letting the sanitary products sit for so long which can cause bacteria build up. So I would love to know tips or advice on how to take care of that or what are we allowed to do.🙏

There is a lot of the book of the face, but I thought maybe there would be one here. Advice please on where I should go. Daughter of a W.A.V.E. Thanks.

Hello everyone need help and advice on this matter i want to get rhinoplasty while being active duty in Air Force as a maintenance airman, need help and advice how to get it approved and how the whole process works, if i get denied will that affect my career? I have always wanted to get one since i was young now im 25 and i want to get it done in Turkey , please help me out a lot of people have said i dont need it but i always wanted and still do to the point it affects me mentally like too much i try to carey myself as if nothing but how can i explain to the doc that i really need it to be approved? Thanks anyone in advance and help would be so appreciated🙏❤️

I’ve been a military spouse since I was 18. My husband is a HMC and touching retirement. We started a family super early and joining the Navy was actually my dream before I even met my husband. I’m now 36 (37 next April) 4 older kids and I still have that pull to join. I have a marketing degree and have been thinking heavy on joining now that the kids are older. I know OCS has a huge advantage for me but the wait can be what hurts me. Navy says I would have to commission by my 37th birthday. Thoughts? Advice? And no I haven’t talked to a recruiter yet. I don’t want to look like an idiot and be turned down because of my age.

Hello Reddit. I’m going to be posting this to different subs and get different opinions please read I need help.

I’m 18, freshly out of highschool and a very short female (4’11). I’m not sure if that is going to be relevant but just in case. I have always been interested in joining the military since I was in 7th grade. Even took the ASVAB during my freshman and junior year. I am also very much into cars and was planning on going to college for automotive technology. Realized it was a bit pricey and I’m deciding on going a different route. Another thing I should mention that is a huge disqualification in basically everything branch is my mental health. I used to have a long history with SH, depression, and severe anxiety when I was in 5th grade. I was put on medication and it did help a significant amount. Last time I was medicated was just a couple of months ago in the winter. Just some back story to help.

I am still VERY much interested in mechanics and still military. I know each branch have mechanical jobs in each. Space force is off the list lol. I just want to hear options from different branches and their mechanical jobs and see which branch will work with me and help me get waivers since I do have that mental history. I was thinking Navy or Coast Guard but then again. I want to hear your guys opinions and advice.

I appreciate you guys, god bless 🙏

I’m really struggling and hoping to hear from other women in the military who might relate to this.

Ever since I joined, I’ve felt like the uniform flips a switch in me — like I suddenly have something to prove. Like I have to perform confidence I don’t actually feel. It’s almost like putting it on makes it easier to lose myself, my values, and the sense of who I am outside the Army. I’ve always had self‑esteem issues, and I honestly thought the military would help fix that. Instead, I think it magnified them.

I’ve been happily married for seven years, and my husband has been nothing but supportive. I came back from maternity leave a little over a year ago, and I didn’t realize how vulnerable I was. I’ve always been fit, and I felt this pressure to “bounce back” and prove I was still the same strong, capable woman. A male friend I’d known for years asked how my recovery was going and implied he wanted to see gym progress. I sent him a post‑PT photo — the same one I sent to a couple of girlfriends — because I was proud of my body after having a baby.

He responded with “would,” implying he’d have sex with me. I laughed it off. I’ve never been attracted to him. But over the next couple of weeks, he added me on Snapchat and kept asking for more “progress pics.” I told him I loved my husband and didn’t want to mess up my marriage, but he kept pushing. I thought maybe if I gave him what he wanted, he’d stop. I sent a topless photo.

A few days later, he lured me into an empty office and assaulted me.

For a year, I blamed myself because I sent the pictures. I didn’t tell him to stop when he started kissing me or taking my clothes off. I even smiled during the encounter. Only recently — through therapy and talking with my husband — have I been able to see it clearly: it was assault.

I’ve been doing a lot of soul‑searching. I have a history of trauma, people‑pleasing, and craving male validation. But I never imagined those things could culminate in something that looked like cheating. I understand now that the assault wasn’t cheating — but I still struggle with the fact that I kept the conversation going and sent the photos.

Now I’m back at my unit to clear, and putting the uniform on again makes me feel like a different person. Not myself. Like I have something to prove all over again. I’m trying to understand how much that environment and identity shift contributed to everything that happened.

My question is:
Do any other women feel like the uniform changes you — makes you disconnect from yourself, your values, or your boundaries? Has that pressure ever made you more vulnerable than you realized?

Asking for a friend but currently in the navy and she was wearing creamy white sneakers that didn’t take away from her uniform and her previous command wasn’t against it. There is a first class in our new command that’s being a dick about it tho. There’s nothing on it in NavyHR

Hi y’all, I’m currently a 19 yr old female and just finished my first year of college. I enjoyed college, but I’m having a rough situation with my family and I’ve been seriously considering joining the military. My main goal is to be out of the house and completely financially independent (among other reasons).

My original plan was to apply to nursing school, but school has gotten so tiring. I am genuinely so burnt out from my first year that I feel like if I go back right now, my grades and mental health will really reflect it. On top of that, I’m also going through an extremely rough breakup and other stressful life situations.

As much as I love my family, my mom can be extremely controlling and limiting in my life choices. I’m an only child, so I understand her need to protect me, but a lot of the things she does are just too much and it’s messing with my mental health. For example, when she came into my room at 1 AM and heard me on the phone with a guy, she tweaked out and threatened to withdraw me from college. She claimed that if I keep living this way I'll never graduate, and even called me names. Now, because I won't be living with a roommate next school year, she is threatening to put a camera inside my college apartment to monitor me. On top of that, whenever I make a bad grade, she freaks out and threatens to stop paying for my tuition.. which is why I feel so chained down, since I don't have that kind of money on my own rn.
If I join the military, I can still always go back to college later, but this time it’ll be entirely in my hands and paid for with my own money.

I’ve thought about the Coast Guard because it seems the most rewarding to me and has “better” bases/stations. I’m not sure which rate would be the best fit yet, but I have thought about HS because of my background and interest in nursing. I’ve thought about other branches as well, especially for healthcare roles, since I understand the Coast Guard doesn’t have as many options in that field.

Do you guys have any recommendations or suggestions for my situation? I really dk what to do.

Side note: I am familiar with the military and have seriously thought about a profession in this, so Im not just saying i want to join to “escape.” I applied and got a Navy Nurse NROTC scholarship my senior yr of high school, but ofc, my mom made me reject it because she didn’t want me joining the military.

I am a 17 year old highschooler who has wanted to be a sailor in the navy for as long as I can remember, and I've been planning on enlisting straight after high school.

Recently, though, I have come across a couple of posts and articles discussing women being harassed in the military and discouraging women from enlisting.

Is harassment a common experience for women in the military? I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, as this is my greatest concern before I enlist.

​I just turned 27 and I’m finally in the process of joining the Marine Corps. This is something I’ve wanted for the majority of my life I did 4 years of JROTC in high school, and it’s just one of those calling things I could never shake off. Life got in the way for a while, but the stars have finally aligned and it’s my time. I’m taking my test soon (fully confident I'm going to pass!) and heading to MEPS right after.

​Now that it’s actually happening and getting real, I’m starting to get these nerves that I’ve never felt before. I know for a absolute fact this is what I want to do, so I don't think it's cold feet... maybe just pre-shipping anxiety? Did any of you ladies get like this before going?

​Also, reading through a lot of threads here, I see a lot of posts about injury, hip problems, etc., and it’s starting to get to my head a bit. Are there any females out there who went through boot camp completely fine without physical issues, and found a great MOS where you aren't constantly getting physically broken down?

​Would love to hear some positive stories, advice, or just a little reassurance that these feelings are normal. Thank you all so much! . 🙏🏼 Let's chat!

Hello! I'm shipping out to Navy OCS in a little over a month and the packing list says to bring 5-7 plain sports bras designed for high-impact sports, with no logos or words.

I need to buy new ones because the sports bras I currently own either aren’t high-impact or are just old and need replacing.

Does anyone have recommendations for good high-impact sports bras that are plain/no-logo? I’d also appreciate suggestions for brands where the logos are small, subtle, or easy to remove. Or tips on how to remove logos from sports bras?

Edit: my size is 32C

Edit 2: thank you for the recommendations! and I understand that they likely won't actually look at my underwear to see if there's a small logo, but I was just trying to follow the packing list to the letter! You've dissuaded my fears about the logos for the most part!

small backstory and then i’ll get into it.
(yes i posted this in r/army)

ive been in since i was 17. female in combat arms, with almost 5 years in. i always planned to just continue to re-sign for my same job because i love it, passionate about it, and dedicated. whatevs: earlier this year i got pregnant, and have now been doing a solo pregnancy, and obviously going to be a single mother, im due in November this year! when i decided to keep my son, i knew it was time to leave behind combat arms and move into a different corner of the army, because all moms have to make sacrifices and i know this will be best for us considering all the factors (family, distance, job risk etc etc). my contract is up May2027, and I was looking to sign again and reclass, sadly nothing has peaked my interest, but obviously still trying to narrow it down.

i go and talk to retention, he says i have to re-sign again before Jan2027, but because i’ll be freshly post-partum, i can’t reclass until Nov2027. he starts talking about college, certain qualifications, no slots open, E-6 and above only, and basically every question i had, was shot down with a “yeah that’s not gonna happen”. we get to a point in the conversation of “if you wanna stay in, you have to reenlist and stay in combat arms, and there’s no guarantee we’d be able to send you to any school to reclass at all” and we both agreed it was a bit of a gamble. obviously he gave me his number, and told me to narrow down some choices, but i should just pick something that “sucks the least, but won’t be combat arms”. i’m like well shit.

every part of the convo where i was like “ah yes an open door!”, the door was quickly closed. no no no no, and no to every scenario. as we’re sitting there talking i get this gut feeling of “ok well there’s your answer, it’s time to move on”. i thanked him for his time, told him i’d reach out, and left.

i enjoy being in the army, i couldn’t imagine doing anything else….but i know i wont be able to fill the role of single mom and be the same combat arms soldier i used to be, which IMO feels like a liability to other soldiers and my career field. i want to be involved with my sons life, close to my family (who are over 1,000 miles away) and see what the world has to offer. so whats the big deal? i’m terrified. everyone i’ve worked with who has gotten out is 1.) living in their moms house with no job or 2.) working minimum wage jobs and giving up on their “post army dreams” of any career they used to talk about.

i GUESS what im saying is, life after the Army? is that such a thing??? is there anyone out there that actually went to go do something after they got out? and if so, what is it? yes, i’d like to go to college, and i am someone the enjoys working, so even doing some blue collar stuff for a while is fine. i enjoy the feelings i get of manual labor and hard work.

also how the fuck do i even get out? who am i? what will i be? how is any of this possible? what are yall doing? who am i without being like “hey, my name is ___, im a soldier in the U.S. Army!” what’s my life if i’m not questioning troops on their shave job at 0600????????

maybe i’m looking for hope idk? guidance? or someone to be like “yeah this is what i do, no i don’t live in my moms basement, and no i don’t work at burger king and play videos into the wee hours of the night, it’s totally possible to get out and still stay a float in the civilian world”

idk man at this point ill take some crumbs. oh, and a chili mac MRE…maybe the grape drink mix if you have it.

Hey yall, I'm about to ship to army bct soon. I was wondering if a ponytail is ok during bct while with in the pts or acus (except for dress uniforms). I'm having a hard time making a bun since my hair is a bit short, but can I just wear a ponytail in bct for most of the time?

Hello girlies i need helping from green card holders,i want to join air force and want to know if anyone has taken job for air aircraft maintenance as a green card holder? I want to get one of the aircraft maintenance jobs and want to know how it works? Like how do you get naturalized in bmt? If you cant then what happens like do you get switched to another job? Like if you get switched to another job, how soon can you retrain to aircraft maintenance? Any info would help so much ! Thanks in advance😭🙏