So I've had this problem since as far as I can remember but I didn't consider this a problem I thought this was normal and everybody lives in there head like this cuz the reality sucks but it was until recently that I found out this wasn't normal through internet and discussing with my friends and I don't mind the daydreaming itself it actually gives me good ideas but the problem is that I get gratification for free which I would otherwise have to work hard to get and yeah another thing, it wasn't a problem for me at the beginning because the school was easy for me I only needed quite small amount of focus and effort to get good grades but as I grew older and had to manage multiple things (work, study, skill learning) together than it became hard because I can't seem to focus on a single thing for long but than again there have been times when I have been quite consistent for weeks so I'm thinking if MD even is the problem or am I looking for an excuse for my indiscipline?
Would like the opinion of people who have more knowledge on this topic. Thankyou.

Hi all,

I was just thinking and doing some research on Maladaptive daydreaming, and I came across this vivid thought.

I don't want to fully commit to control MD because I fear that the great imagination I have will go away with it.

It has always been a struggle with MD and it always interferes in my key daily activities. But, one thing is for certain, that I have an extremely creative and imaginative mind. I do see myself creating something; whether that is writing a book or establishing a business that came from my imagination.

There is a part of me that fears losing that great inner world.

Would love to know what others think of this. And especially those who ended up controlling MD, how differently do you all feel now in that regard ?

And those of you that are over 36, how old are you and, is it an everyday thing?

Hey all.

fyi I typed this on my phone and didn’t proof read so there may be typos and autocorrect being a nuisance.

**background**
I am a huge maladaptive day dreamer. I used to spend 40+ hours a week day dreaming. For the last year or so I’ve been working towards professional exams so I haven’t been working and the day dreaming has gone super bad. It was last month when I realised that day dream for about 40 hours a week and only study for 15-20.

I used to see my screen time on my phone. It’s about 3-4 hours a week. Half of it was on socialising and for workout videos the other half was just me being a bum. So it still didn’t make sense how I wasn’t able to study much. Then oneday I stumbled on my Spotify listening time that was 30+ hours a week. And I knew a good 90% of that time was me daydreaming. I was aware I day dreamed a lot but I didn’t know it was that bad.

***step 1 - realisation and acceptance***

Sounds obvious but you gotta realise and accept this is what you do. When you start tallying up how much time you spend daydreaming you’ll start finding the leaks.

For me it was music and when I sat to study. I was do say 2-3 questions start daydreaming and not realise. Then I’d complain and not understand how I spent so long studying but hardly made a dent in my work.

Also I’d listen to music while getting ready in the morning. So a simple morning routine that should only take 45 mins took me 3 hours.

***step 2 - removing the trigger***

Music and stress were my triggers. Unfortunately I couldn’t remove the stress but I could remove the music. So I deleted Spotify.

I only listened to music on YouTube or on my laptop, I have my watch history off so I don’t get anything recommended to me. Also adds are a pain and remove the enjoyment. And listening to music on my laptop is a bit of a pain when I’m cooking, working out, getting ready.

***step 3 - set a timer***

I started setting 20 minute timer’s for everything I do. Like I mentioned stress is another trigger. So even if I’m not listening to music I’m constantly stressed. So I’d set a 20 minute timer for everything I’d do. Brushing my teeth and washing my face should only take 5 minutes but it’ll take me 2 hours. So by setting a 20 minute timer it ensures if I am daydreaming it snaps me out of it. It’s also like a little competition, I mentally make a list of tasks that I’d like to complete in those 20 minutes so when I mentally check them off it gives me that dopamine kick.

Personally I think 20 minutes is a good sweet spot as you want to use the times for everything you do. You want to remove the friction of setting a new timer and hair hit repeat. But do what time you think is best.

Ok for studying. I started doing 25 minutes of study 5 minutes breaks and repeat a few times so I’d do a 2 hour block. What I do in those 5 minute breaks, I just stare at the wall. If I wanna day dream I can day dream. Yet again, I’d break my to do list so every study item should only take me 20-40 minutes. There is something satisfying about having a little dopamine hit during the session.

Essentially my whole life is in 20-25 minute blocks.

I know it’s a bit sad and robotic. But when it starts interfering with your daily life and your goals you gotta do what you gotta do.

***random yap***

I’ve been experimenting for a few months and it’s only been 2.5 weeks I’ve put everything into place properly. Now I was ill the first week. But the second week for the week before my exams, I managed to do about 60 hours of actual studying. I am aware k also had the adrenaline of having a week till exams and wasting a week as I was ill. But usually the week before I manage to pull off 25-30 hours but I also loose a lot of sleep and rely on heavily caffeinated drinks. This time I did about 60 hours and for 7-8 hours every night. Did my exams with just my usual morning coffee, and not 2 redbulls and my coffee.

Now ofc I don’t know how my results went (praying they’ve gone well and I passed 🙏) but the two weeks before I did more work then I’ve ever done as I placed those habits in (I did about 17 hours the week I had a fever).

Anyway that’s my story and what’s been helping me. I hope this is helpful to anyone who’s wants to significantly reduce daydreaming.

I wanted to understand how other people deal with excessive daydreaming. I see a lot of people saying it happens because someone lacks an active life or isn't accomplishing things, but that doesn't seem to be the case for me. I’m quite productive, I have projects, and I’ve achieved significant things for my age, yet I still spend a lot of time trapped in imaginary scenarios—and it’s started to bother me. It’s not that I don’t have a real life; it’s actually the opposite: I have a lot going on, but my mind keeps creating these parallel realities.

Does anyone else here experience this? What helped you cut back on it or develop a better relationship with these thoughts? It feels like no matter what I do or achieve, the things in my head are far better. I’ve also been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and I’ve read that this plays a major role.

P.S. If anything sounds a bit off, it’s because English isn’t my first language.

I’m a third year psychology major and I’m looking to do honours in my fourth year. I never really knew what aspects of psychology I would concentrate more of my focus on but since learning more about maladaptive daydreaming and how it has affected my life I think I would want my thesis to revolve around that. I know that research surrounding maladaptive daydreaming is lacking so what are some things you think would be valuable to know?

So I (34f) read self-insert fanfiction and after I’m finished reading a story, my brain will continue the plot, or I’ll replay scenes of them in more detail in my brain. I will have multiple daydream “timelines” for multiple characters, sometimes just daydreaming domestic or simple situations. There are instances that I don’t need a fanfiction story at all, just the original media (movie or show) to interpret how they’d handle certain situations.

It’s more tidbits than a continuous world.

It was really bad a few years ago to the point where I chose in-universe friends, but then one the actors nearly got cancelled and I took a slight step back, but it’s still going on now.

Is this daydreaming or just fantasizing?

I've literally done it all my life. Made up elaborate scenarios on whatever series I was addicted to(actually it's one piece of media that I am addicted to my whole entire life and I'm literally obsessed with it.) at that moment, made my own character and walked or jumped around the house all day blasting music and flapping my hands occasionally like an idiot. Sometimes I even refused to play with my friends just so I could walk around the school yard and just imagine I'm important for something. It's seriously pathetic and has ruined my life. I am socially awkward all my life, unathletic, no talent, uninterested in anything but these scenarios, every action made thinking that whatever characters I was interested in were watching me. Every interaction, every event at school or in my life is being daydreamed about for a few days up until the next thing happens. I do this for HOURS. I know I have homework, yet I walk around the house when I get back from school, in between study breaks, after I study, up until midnight, and even in bed I'm reading something adjacent to whatever I like. When I got my own phone it became even worse and my sleep has never been worse. I'm actively sabotaging myself and I can't stop, even when I know I have so much potential and so many aspirations. I don't know how to stop, I don't dare say anything to my parents because this is obviously cringe as hell and in general therapy is not an option. Nobody thinks I'm *too* weird at school because I don't talk much and I'm a good student. I want to do so many things but I'm stuck. What's worse is that I tried a sport and hurt my knee and I KEEP walking around all day which is actively making it worse.

This is my first Reddit post so forgive me for any weird formatting or if this is too long/rambley. f24 for context.

I've been maladaptive daydreaming in one way or another for as long as I can remember. In my adulthood, these daydreams have primarily been romantic connection based, focusing on either a celebrity or fictional partner. I've had my fair share of real romantic partners, both as a teenager and adult, but stopped dating about three years ago now in an attempt to focus on learning who I am outside of a relationship. That is when the romance-focused daydreaming kind of kicked into high gear.

My MD hit a particularly concerning peak last year around this time when, long story short, I had become so absorbed in my daydreams involving a celebrity crush and detached from reality that I had actually convinced myself that the daydreams were going to come true. This had equal and opposite reactions with the dopamine hits and the incredibly low lows. I remember vividly leaving my job in the middle of the workday to go home and lay on the floor of my apartment, sobbing so hard I threw up. Luckily, that specific era of my MD has passed, but the daydreaming is beginning to effect my life in a more serious way again.

Last month, while on a solo trip, I met a cute guy at an event. We talked and briefly flirted, and parted without even learning each other's names. At first, I was okay with the brevity of the connection, but later latched onto the idea of having this person as a romantic partner. There are many reasons why this interaction held legitimate deep emotional significance for me, but I won't get into that right now as that isn't the point of this post.

After returning home from the trip, I became obsessed with finding this guy online, which I was able to do quickly despite the limited information I knew about him (the only difference between women and the FBI is that the FBI get paid to do it). I requested to follow him on IG and have left it at that. I didn't message him in an attempt to appear nonchalant (not actually possible for me). The request has been just sitting there for a couple weeks or so now with no response (yet). I have not online stalked him or tried to find out any more information about him.

In the time since the trip, my MD has been in hyperdrive. All I do when I'm not actively interacting with another person is daydream about being in a relationship with this guy. This has been the source of an immense amount of comfort, but also heartache, as a part of me is able to acknowledge that this is not something that I have or will likely ever have, at least in the way I've elaborately constructed it.

What prompted me to make this post: I am in the process of planning a move to my dream city (yay!) and was looking at apartments online this evening. I happened to find one that I really like, and without even thinking about it, began picturing me and him living in the apartment together. Domesticity is a huge focus of my romantic daydreams. I was suddenly struck with the thought, "I want to do this with him.". "This" referring to moving to my dream city, achieving my career goals, entering this next stage of adulthood, living life, etc. The thought hit me with the same tone and intensity of when a previous partner and I had been discussing plans for the future and I realized that I wanted to marry him.

At the same time as the dopamine hit from that idea, I was also hit with a wave of immense sadness. I know that the daydream I've constructed is not how reality will play out. I now find myself stuck in the really sucky part of the hurt/comfort cycle that I've trapped myself in with my MD.

I feel like I break my own heart over and over again every single day by allowing myself to indulge in these daydreams. I keep having to remind myself that MD is in many ways an addiction and to give myself grace. However, this cycle is beginning to feel a little like psychological torture and I'm finding myself constantly missing a person that I do not actually have a connection with in real life.

Thank you if you've read this far. Thank you all as well for allowing me the space to get all of this out. Of course I wish that none of us had to deal with this, but it's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this struggle.

I can't stop and it's affecting my life. I was a few minutes late to work because of it. Thankfully i work from home. It is starting to interfer with my personal life and idk what to do 😭 even in conversations

i am going through so much and if I am not daydreaming I am doom scrolling on reddit or youtube :( I lock up my phone to not doomscroll and then I just daydream even more.

i always struggled with daydreaming but now it is like 10x and it is usually about people because I have no friends. I work remotely so i rarely see people.
I have health issues so i cant drive

I was doing okay until i had a really really health scare July 8th and this guy stopped talking to me the 4th of july. so i guess the two combined and a few other things just made me want to escape and not think about anything at all.

I am seeing a therapist next week but no therapist has really understood maladaptive daydreaming.

I wish you all the best! I hope you never reach my level 😅

I still have hope. I feel hopelessly hopeful lol.

So since I was young I’ve loved to daydreaming to the point where I still do it now at age 33. No one knows about it not even my wife. I jump around and fantasise of different versions of myself. I was always shy as a kid around other people and the version I would imagine was a more confident impressive version. I’ve had vivid story lines that have followed the characters journey since I was a kid. Some worlds are me, some worlds are people I know, I jump around make weird faces and I need to have something in my hand that I swing around, usually like a hat or something.

Anyway, first time I’ve put this in words.

I'm in the psych ward right now and really bored, so I thought it would be entertaining to read your worst maladaptive daydreaming reaction stories. Like- how did people react to it in the worst, most misunderstanding ways possible? :,)

I was daydreaming since i can remember and i know it comes from growing up in a really fucked up household. A lot of substance abuse and stuff going on and MD helped me to steer far,far away from that.
Never had a real role model in my life so in my teenage years i was struggling with lack of real confidence ( a lot of fake tho haha) , really low self esteem and lack of general direction.
Everything changed when i was 20-21. I created my „avatar” and made a whole lore around it and somehow it helped me become a person i am today. It helped me understand myself more and even helped me shape my fashion style, gain confidence and set some goals. It was basically a situation where i started to look up to the person ive created which helped me a lot.

Any of you had similar expierences?

I have a daydreaming problem but now I'm afraid it got too far, now my brain does it without control from me, like you know the moment right before I sleep, the moment between being awake and asleep, my mind just does daydreaming on its own without my control, it mixes stuff I watched during the day with real people, and with stuff I daydreamed about, it's literally a cocktail of all random stuff, it only does this right before I sleep or just when I wake up, and I only catch it for a few moments.... For example I just woke up, yesterday I watched a video about history of the mountains and a few days ago I watched one about the ocean, now when I just woke up, I had this daydreaming/ dream that the scientists found a rock under water with human handwriting so they concluded that the ocean was once land... It's literally the most random and confusing stuff ever, sometimes it includes people irl, sometimes it mixes people I know with stuff I watched, sometimes it mixes people from my daydreaming with reality...and I wasn't asleep but wasn't fully awake... Is this normal? Should I be concerned?

It’s probably common with long term daydreaming but my dopamine and attention span has been completely obliterated by daydreaming. When I try new hobbies/watch things and feel even the smallest amount of boredom my mind instantly starts feining to daydream on loop so to get the instant dopamine rush. I get mentally blocked from learning new things by abusing the dopamine of imagining myself learning it instead of actually getting to the skill point. It affects my school work terribly as well. I can’t even get away from it physically like an actual addiction cuz it’s my own mind, terrible habit 💀

Recently found out about Maladaptive Daydreaming through another person. Had it my entire life and was unaware until maybe the past couple months.

Regardless, i turned some of the characters in my head into dnd characters over a long period of time, and actually believe that some of them represent different parts of me.

It feels rather backwards considering that I had made these guys before I found out about the whole daydreaming thing, but they had been in my head visually for a very long time.

Mornings used to be my worst time for MD.

I would wake up and just... not get out of bed. I'd lie there and start daydreaming, and before I knew it 2 or 3 hours had passed.

The worst part is that once I was in it, I couldn't get out. Even if I told myself "okay, I'm going to get up in 5 minutes" it never happened. The daydream was too good. Real life felt cold and grey compared to what was happening in my head.

I used to feel so ashamed about this. Like I was lazy or broken or both.

The thing that changed everything was a mix of two things. First, I decided the night before what I would do in the first 30 minutes of waking up, and I wrote it down where I could see it (I actually put a note on my phone lock screen).

My morning plan was:

1. Get up the second the alarm goes off (I use the 5 second rule (this was very effective for me), which is a count down from 5 to 1, and before I reach 1 I have to move). In a way it created a sense of urgency.
2. Wash my face with cold water
3. Make tea
4. While the tea was brewing, I would stretch my body (even for 1 minute)

The second thing, and honestly this was the bigger one: I made sure I had something small to look forward to each day!

Not a huge thing. Just something. A coffee at my favourite cafe. A phone call with my sister. A new podcast episode. A walk somewhere new (without headphones). Looking at Pinterest and creating a vision board (I love this). Anything that gave me a tiny pull towards real life.

When I had something to look forward to, getting out of bed didn't feel so hard.

Where am I now? Honestly, I always have something to do in that day that gets me out of bed. It took me a long time to get here, however, so it's okay if you far away from this place.

I realised that the mornings that are hardest are the ones with nothing planned. But that has become the signal to plan something small the night before, so I always have a soft landing.

Are mornings your worst MD time too? What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

If any of this was useful, I share more on IG @maladaptiveddcoach 🌿 (no pressure)

Is there any Discord server or group chat for people with maladaptive daydreaming?

I am very tired of daydreaming i spend hours a day and i don't know how to abolish this shit

I can't focus anymore!!

I am living my life normally i have goals to accomplish to achieve and i am working on that i am excellent on my studies also in training and i don't have like a social problem or something not much tbh but i can't sleep at night because of this ''daydreaming''

So is there any group to chat abt this problem?!!

So for context i have maladaptive daydreaming issue I know many don't know that's fine but it's just that I never took interest in my own life but now i want to focus on my own life like self care , dressing sense and personality which the biggest issue that I am suppressing my personality for my whole life because of my parents but there is an issue all these cost money everything from basic to basic skin care to clothes and my family is not poor they are pretty well off it's just doing a different hairstyle then a single ponytail to wearing clothes like jeans tops my parents think i am doing wrong i can't even make friends I feel like a prisoner but then I told my parents to let me do some job like a tutor or part time job they said no i am not young I am 21 years old my parents follow me to class to everyone i can't go for stationary shop also

Am I wrong so wrong to feel i should try to improve myself like I am underweight, frizzy hairs and malnourished i want a better and healthier body it costs money and i get not a single rupee for myself I can't get single rupee for my personal needs and I should earn myself but they don't let me earn today i got beating because i said I want to go to gym and wear better clothes

Living so hard as maladaptive daydreamer i feel like loser it's so hard to live WHY WHY everything is so hard when i try to get better mental health i hate my parents they don't even release that i need some much therapy for this maladaptive daydreaming and anxiety issues

Hi!

I tried many different things to reduce maladaptive daydreaming but i always seem to come back to it eventually.
I identified the one thing common to all my different daydreaming scenarios: comfort.

Even if my daydreams display others problems: wanting to feel valued, wanting to be seen as lovable, i think that the main problem is that it's so comforting to have a reality where you finally love yourself and people don't hate you for no reason. One where you can finally be yourself without feeling repulsed at what you truly like, One where you finally feels like everyone treats you like a human.
I just want that comfort in my life that i don't have and never have, but i can't change nothing, i can't change others people, and i've tried so hard to change myself without success i don't know what to do anymore. I can't change anything.

Idk what i should do if anyone has any ideas please i would be grateful to here them