Sometimes they break and just never heal again. Years go by and im still tormented by the magnitude of the loss. I think I've since lost my ability to love again. I know I've lost the desire to love. The people I loved are gone, history, and only exist in my memories or in some sick fantasy. I miss being happy. I miss being, or at least thinking I was loved. I just miss.....

Here is my story: M(27) F(27)

I matched with a girl on Hinge early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.

-Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great sex and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.

Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.

At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?

- The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care

I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.

I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?

I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.

What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 3 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck

My mother never got to become the doctor she dreamed of being.

I've been carrying this for a long time, and I think it's finally time to say it out loud.

My mother is 71. When my mother was young, she was brilliant. She dreamed of becoming a doctor. She had the intelligence, the determination, and the passion for it. She secured state rank in her PUC(12th now), which means she was eligible for government scholarship. But because of pressure from her family and society, she was forced to give up that dream and marry someone she didn't choose. The reason was a wife shouldn't hold a higher degree than her husband.

That decision changed the rest of her life.

She endured years of physical and emotional abuse. There were times she wanted to end her life because the pain was unbearable. The only reason she stayed was because she looked us and believed we wouldn't survive without her.

She sacrificed her own happiness so we could have a chance at ours.

What hurts me almost as much as the abuse is what happened when she finally tried to tell people. Instead of receiving compassion, she was told things like, "It's your karma," "Good things happen to good people," and "Men are just like that." People blamed her instead of the person who hurt her.

She is losing hope and she has started believing the world was full of people who would judge her instead of stand beside her.

I don't believe that's true.

I believe there are people in this world who can recognize extraordinary courage when they see it. To me, my mother is one of the strongest people I've ever known. She may never have worn a doctor's white coat, but she protected her children against all odds.

The reason I'm writing this is because I want to show her that kindness exists beyond the small circle of people who failed her.

I don't know if anyone will read this. I just wanted someone else in the world to know who my mother really is. She deserved so much better than the life she was given, and I hope one day she realizes that there are people capable of seeing her strength.

If this post reaches you, would you pray God for her to give her back the hope and faith she lost or leave a few kind words for my mother? I would collect the messages, print and give to her, so she can see that there are people who see her strength, respect her sacrifices, and believe she deserved so much better.

Thank you for reading.

March 2021 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic liver cancer, given less than a year to live.
Fast forward some time it’s now October 2021 and my mom was put on hospice.

Growing up my mom always wanted us to get matching tattoos when I was old enough, she wanted us to get a peanut butter and jelly tattoo because that’s what we always called eachother, because we always went together.

When my mom got sick we threw the idea of the matching tattoos out of the window because she couldn’t get one whilst she was undergoing treatment.

I was 17, I decided to go and get the tattoo myself, I found a parlor on Facebook willing to open up after close just so I could get the tattoo as I knew her time was coming to an end very soon.

Before I left my mom was conscious and talking, confused but aware. When I got back to show her the tattoo, she was completely unaware, couldn’t open her eyes or speak.
I was crushed. She didn’t even get to see the tattoo I got for us.

The next day I went to the tattoo shop and the guy drew me a new stencil and gave me the supplies to adhere it to my mom. I got sharpies and colored hers in just like mine.

30 minutes after coloring it in she passed away peacefully by our side.

I love to think even till this day that she waited for me to give us our long awaited tattoos before she took her last breath.

To be missed is to be loved and I love that woman so much more than I could ever express.

Spent the entire day making this in swift because I’m heartbroken and needed something to do.

It’s was her favorite place in the world.

It made me cry, so I think it’s the right place to post this.

Over my lifetime I'd hear from others the stories about my super slick Uncle David, but when I'd ask him to tell the tales, he'd just steal the watch off your wrist, your wallet, whatever, and misdirect you from even remembering what you asked. As a young punk back in the 70s, I revered him... but all the stories came from others. I know it's selfish, but I'm so sad he'd never let me interview him and now the end is near.

Here's one short tale of one of his many businesses, or what you or I might simply call a scam:

When Cuba was opening up to some tourism, I asked if he might want to go visit since I'd heard he used to vacation there in the old days.
Without hesitation he said nooooo. I asked why - he smiled and said Castro wouldn't be happy to see him. I said, whoa... tell me more. He said not on your life.
I asked my mom who was still alive at the time and she said, oh, that was his Vending Machine business that got him banned from Cuba.

BANNED? WAIT, WHAT??

She said he bought these little countertop vending machines that he sold to stores or in some cases sold the business of stocking them, whatever, but that in Cuba he made up brochures showing this big machine for a fair price and sold a good number of them.
Except that he had the cutest female Little Person lady posing with the machines to make them look full size.
Then this little machine would arrive and they were small enough that they were getting stolen bc people could grab them and run away with them.

Anyhow, Fidel wasn't amused.

So many more stories...

My son is only 3 years old. This is one of his normal walks in Kherson, Ukraine.

Instead of playgrounds full of children, he sees buildings with windows covered by wooden boards after shelling.

We still try to give him moments of a normal childhood. Today he sat quietly watching the pigeons, while behind them stood another damaged apartment building.

Despite everything, every day my family also feeds homeless cats left behind by the war. It's our small way of bringing a little kindness to a place where so much has been lost.

At first it was a bit of a dagger in the heart to see someone write such an innocuous note not knowing the heaviness of the situation. But then I thought, she was the sweetest girl ever and the idea that today someone who never knew her got to see a little glimpse of her and be so charmed by her beauty, without knowing the circumstances, really touched my heart. For a moment it made it feel like she's still here, or at least that I'm succeeding in keeping her memory alive. Bittersweet to say the least. I'm glad I didn't notice til after I left the store so I could ugly cry in the vehicle for a bit.

Saw a couple stray kittens and a Momma cat on my way to Walmart earlier while driving through the neighborhood. Stopped, went to check on them and, had to be on my way. Came back to look for them and one of the kittens was lying down panting in the grass. I thought it had overheated so I went to get some water and food for it, but when I came back and tried to stand it up to drink the water, I noticed it wasn't using its hind legs. Long story short, the man that lived in the house they were in front of came out and we were both there when they took their final breath. I hope she wasn't in too much pain. She was so little and I hated that I couldn't do anything for her. Them. They were just a baby.

RIP Little One 🤍