When i was 27 I had the 'outward' recognition, I recognized while i was being present and walking in the parking lot that all I could see was "me". I recognized everything as one image, one whole. Instead of seeing my body and identifying with it, I recognized that "my body" was the entire perception of the world. Perception of the world because there is no world "out there". There is the appearance of the world appearing in me. I am not appearing in a world. A world appears in me(awareness). Just like in a dream.

Which is actually the oppisite of how this typically goes. Usually one has the "inward" recognition first hence "i am awareness, not the body. And the body is not aware. I, awareness, am aware. Awareness doesnt appear in the body, the body appears in awareness.". . .

And thats where I was stuck for the longest. I had the recognition outwardly, that all I could see was "me". But I wasn't free, I still suffered as a mind because I hadn't recognized the freedom of my being and peace which was always present.

To be honest the outward recognition terrified me. So I was a coward and quit meditation for a bit off and on. I would listen to Tool the rock band and go in deep but I would always get terrified and look away again. Purposely making myself think and run away from the recognition. So it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I decided to go all the way in, I didnt care if "i" dissappeared.

One day sitting in my garage listening to music I stopped and closed my eyes. I tapped the side of my head and contemplated how I was awareness and not the body. Out of no where in the silence, while tapping the side of my head with my eyes closed, I recognized "ohhh i am awareness, and the feeling of the hand and the head is appearing in me. My hand isnt aware. My head isnt aware. I awareness am aware." I recognized that nothing known was knowing aka nothing known is Aware. It is made up of and appearing in awareness, but thoughts, sensations, smell, taste, no perception is aware itself. Instantly i recognized that the body is not aware. That i was mistaking the feeling of the body as being aware. But I awareness am aware of feeling. Feeling isnt awareness. Feeling is known, it isnt knowing.

It freed "me". I recognized i was indeed eternal, ever present. Unlimited. That your success was my success. That your loss was my loss. I knocked on the Door and it opened. 👁🧘‍♂️✌️