I'm a Ph.D. student who is very non-traditional, and I'm at a crossroads. I have cerebral palsy and between undergrad, my masters and my Ph.D., it's taken me 17 years to approach the finish line. Embarrassing, I know.
I'm also a single mom to a 2 year-old with absolutely no support system to speak of. I just found out my son's daycare is closing in two weeks, permanently. I also rely on student loans because of the cost of living and the fact that I can't live off 25k a year in a major metropolitan area. About two days after finding out I'd have no childcare, I found out that, thanks to changes put forth in the OBBB, because my program's published length is 4-5 years, and I'm on year six, I no longer am eligible to take out loans (I don't meet the grandfather provisions), and as a result, I need to leave.
I don't even have enough to finish quickly. Because of my cerebral palsy, it took me four years to find a lab. According to my school's financial aid office, there is no appeal process, and there are no exceptions for students in my position. I just...can't afford to stay, so I have to leave.
I also did the math, and based on how iron-clad my lease is, and how much I have left in the bank, we'll be unhoused by September, even if I find a new job quickly. The new job also can't make more than 61k, or I lose the daycare subsidy I have, even if I find new care...which has also been a challenge. It's going to be really hard to bridge that gap. And, after I break my lease, and without a cosigner, it will be really hard to find a new place for my son and I to live. Shelter options in the area aren't exactly plentiful. I don't have family I can live with, as my parents have some serious substance abuse issues, and no room. It's just my kid and I, and I just found out we're literally gonna be homeless. Even if I got a second job tomorrow, with the leasing issues, we'll still experience a period of housing instability. I just don't know how long it will be.
I've reached out to everyone I can think of, and nobody has been very helpful. Which, I guess, I get. I'm in a situation that nobody can really help me get out of. I looked at taking on a second, minimum-wage, full-time job so that I could keep the daycare subsidy and try to finish...but I won't be able to do all that, be a single mom, and get done the vast amount of work I need to to finish before I no longer have stipend support. My PI is not able to be supportive of a more extended timeline, partially because she left the university, and we were all required to graduate in December.
I guess I just wanted to vent. I've worked really hard to get here and faced a level of discrimination along the way that's truly appalling. Every time I dealt with one systemic barrier, there was another. It's really hard to be so close, and yet so far. I know I have to leave, but it's hard. The circumstances are hard and I just...needed to vent into the abyss. My school doesn't have counseling for students on my campus. We're supposed to get access to counselors in September, but in the meantime, I'm drowning. Truly struggling to find the will to live or get out of bed.
Sorry this isn't the most coherent post. There are a lot of things at play and it's hard to cogently break down so much strife into one small post.
Cheers to anyone who read all this. I could use a hug, but in absence of those, I figured reddit was the next best place to put this.
ETA: The whole second job plan hinged on my grad college allowing me to be paid a lower stipend, which they did not agree to. Finding that out on Friday was...awesome.
To those of you who left comments, I really appreciate it. I was in need of human interaction and support.