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My (31M) ex (31M) broke up with me about a year ago. We had been in a relationship for 11 years, married for 8. Today I found out that I was right all along and he actually had fallen for somebody else, a 17(!) year old ex student of his who he had taken home quite often cos she was 'just a friend.' (I thought it was odd that she was his ex student, but was happy for him to make I friend, I guess. I also felt sorry for the girl because she went through quite a lot and figured she needed a father figure.)

Well today I learned that they have been in a relationship since the moment we broke up, and are currently living together. I felt something was up, but he kept denying it. Learned it today through a mutual friend because he slipped up; all our mutuals have known and still want to stay neutral instead of judging him for what he did.

(Even though I am upset my friends don't judge him for this, please don't make this about her age. In my country the age of consent is 16 so there is nothing I can legally do about it.)

I'm very hurt, both by the realisation I was right all along and the fact that he lied, but also for my 'friends' not picking my side or at.least judging him for this.

I already relapsed in self harm after almost 2 years so there isn't much more to save tonight I guess, but I can't sleep anyway so might as well share my story.

need someone to talk too

we can talk about anything

my mom had a stroke when I was sixteen. from that point on she hasn't really been able to care for herself, me, or my sister. she's a single mother so it was difficult for all of us. we suffered a lot because she wasn't able to get the care she needed for a while and we were not equipped to handle the situation. we have believed she needed long term care for a while because her mental is not in a place for her to live independently. however, she was cleared once for having a functional mental capacity, and was cleared to return back to work. she then lost her job because of her inability to perform the functions of her work. she was then cleared for a second time for her mental state by the same place. I believe she should have never been cleared and that it is shameful they cleared her twice. she cannot make proper meals for herself, manage her conditions (diabetes, PT/OT), remember info from throughout the day, etc.

it all got worse a couple weeks ago because she crashed and totaled our car (she should not have been driving) and ended up in the hospital. the hospital decided she needed permanent care as well, and she is now in a temporary home before we move her to a permanent location. to remain in one of these places her income needs to be essentially non-livable outside of the home. because of this we need to sell our house before our insurance switches over (we have no health insurance and her stay is currently being covered by auto insurance). I am stressed about the house because I'm going to college out of state soon and I'm scared I'm going to end up without a place to go during breaks and the such. I am also concerned for my sister who is 18, but has mental delays and is behind in a lot. she does not work and we have no connection to our father so we're not sure where she will be able to stay. I feel like everything is just crumbling at once. I hate visiting my mom at the place because I just feel so guilty about everything that she has gone through and what has happened to her. she doesn't understand that she is not coming home and doesn't understand why she is in this situation. she keeps asking when she will be home and saying that she has "us girls" to look after her. I feel so guilty for leaving them all behind for college. I have already put so much on hold when I was caring for her though and it feels unfair to myself to continue that. I miss her so much but even calling her I break down crying and have to mute or call her back. I feel so guilty and ashamed for being selfish and not calling her because I know she likes to hear from us and misses us. I just want my momma really.

then, a little under two weeks ago my friend (17 yro) told me and two other friends that she started doing hard drugs, along with some other very concerning info. she didn't seem to realize the issue with these things and told us that she had been using every day since she first tried the drugs. long story short, our friend had to call the police and she was taken to the hospital. we told her mom everything and they are looking at sending her to rehab. I just had contact with her today for the first time since everything went down, a four minute phone call. she is still very upset with us and thinks we fucked her over because she "didn't plan to use consistently" and she doesn't wanna go to rehab. I don't think we fucked her over. an ex of mine's birthday is tomorrow. she accidentally overdosed under 2 years ago and passed away. she would have been 18. I am not trying to have another person die. even though she is mad at me she still ended the call with our usual love you's, so I'm hoping she will come around. I don't think I will be able to see her before I leave for college. I'm just so scared I fucked up our friendship forever. I am even more scared that she will continue down this path and hurt herself more or die.

I want to get high/drunk so bad but I've spent all my money and I told myself I wanted to get and stay sober for a while at least. I have been high daily for two years minimum. I also struggled with self harm and I have been thinking about relapsing a lot lately. I just feel so stressed out and I want an escape. I have been drawing a little more to try and cope healthier, but I am bad at keeping up with these better alternatives. I'm sorry for the length of this post, I tried keeping it shorter but I had a lot to say. I'm not sure what I want out of this, I just feel really lonely and wanted everything out.

this is a repost from a reddit called narcissistic parents. i got a notification that i should post here. I'm not really experienced at using reddit sorry XD

i would love to find a group where we can actually chat. is there one?

i went 99% no contact and i have nobody to talk about this. i feel like a burden every time i talk about it and i have nobody that really understands me. i feel guilty for going no contact even if I'm doing nothing really wrong, and my mom keeps making herself the victim like always even if I'm just living my life peacefully in another city. i didn't even really confront them. i just want to run away, and i feel so guilty and sometimes worry that their "you'll regret it when we are gone" argument actually is true. I'm actually feeling like I'm mourning my family. it's so weird that they aren't in my life anymore, even though when i remember my childhood or adolescent phase i can only remember emotional abuse (like they wouldn't let me close the bathroom door and kept looking through all my phone all the time). anyway. i just need someone to talk and I can't really afford a therapist now

Hey :)

If life's been feeling heavy lately, or you just wanna vent to someone who won't judge, feel free to DM me.

You don't have to organize your thoughts or explain everything perfectly. Just text however you'd normally text.

I'm not a therapist or anything. Just someone who's happy to listen, have a conversation, or sit with you through whatever's on your mind.

If you're worried about trusting a random Redditor, I get it 😅

I'm completely okay sharing my LinkedIn, Instagram, or anything else that helps you feel comfortable before we talk. No pressure at all.

No money, no catch, no agenda. Just drop me a DM if you think talking might help. ❤️

i'm so tired of listening to pseudo-therapists that only wants to get me magically cured in 5 seconds when i just started to talk i have no one i don't have friends that i can open up to my parents are reason of my life issue i even tried ai's and they are just so bad i don't know how i can live tommorow or this life with what i have i really need something to calm me down i drink i smoke and it does something for 20 minutes but then i'm back to shit i've been in i always feel like 1 more thing and i will just commit everyday almost 100% of the time i think about it.

I'm 22F, recently graduated. My current issue is that since graduating, my mom decided to fly off the nest without me. I still haven't even had a fraction of how to be fully independent because I was expecting she would fully support me. But instead of helping me how to fly, she decided to leave the nest to "teach me" that I'm not her baby anymore. The only fortunate thing about this is despite still living with her, she still financially supports me and gives me pocket money. Yet, the only thing I could ever want is her time. She doesn't want to do that. Best she could do is throw a couple bucks on my face and venture off to do stuff without me like we always do before.

​

Hey! You want someone to actually listen to what you have to say? You can tell me anything you want. You can get that thing off your chest. I'd happily listen to what you have to say. I love hearing people's stories so I do care when someone rants/vents to me. This could be a short term chat or something long term and we can become friends too. Open to voice calls. 29M.

I'm 20, and honestly, it feels like my life ended 1–2 years ago. Looking back, I wasn't the happiest guy when I was 17 or during the first half of being 18, but I didn't realize how much easier, and I feel like my life sucks.
I'm 20, and honestly, it feels like my life ended 1–2 years ago. Looking back, I wasn't the happiest guy when I was 17 or during the first half of being 18, but I didn't realize how much easier life felt back then. I was a pretty normal guy. I was fairly popular in school, had two friend groups, and was close with a lot of people. Everything changed after I got into a big fight with my main friend group. I had two really close friends, one from each group. Both of them said something that I found really disrespectful. They thought it was just a joke, but I took it seriously and stopped talking to them. They both reached out and asked what was wrong.
I explained it. One of them apologized, but then did something disrespectful again just two days later, so I cut him off. The other one didn't even apologize. He basically said, "If it's like that, it's like that," and left it at that. After that, everything slowly fell apart. One friend moved to another school, and most of the others stayed with that friend group.
The guy I argued with made it seem like he was completely in the right, and I never really got the chance to explain my side because they started hanging out without me. Eventually, I just distanced myself. We're actually all on good terms now. Last year, the guy I cut off apologized and admitted he had been childish. But by then, the damage was already done.
At that point, I was left with three friends from school and another separate friend group that I wasn't that close with.
One of those three friends and I even traveled to another country together for a few weeks, but after that we somehow drifted apart. Another friend and I also lost touch, although I'm pretty sure I could still message him and we'd hang out. The last friend is the one I see the most because he's in a similar situation, but if I'm being honest, I don't really enjoy spending time with him. He's pretty selfish and disrespectful, and if I had other options, I probably wouldn't hang out with him nearly as much. I also had a close online friend who I even met in real life. I genuinely thought we'd be lifelong friends, but he's become distant too. So that's basically how I went from having a big social circle to barely having any real friends. On top of all that, I've been dealing with some mental health issues, and I just don't feel good anymore. I want to actually experience life while I'm still young. Even simple things like hanging out, going on trips with friends, or making memories. But it feels like that part of my life is already over.
I've tried making new friends, but I either don't click with people or nothing really develops. I don't want to force friendships just for the sake of having them. Right now, I know a lot of people and I'm cool with plenty of them, but there are only about 2–3 people I could casually ask to hang out.

I'm starting university soon, and that's honestly my biggest hope right now. But I also worry that friendships there won't be the same as the ones I had before. Has anyone else gone through something like this? Did things get better? I feel like everything in my life is going downhill, and I have nothing left. Just 2–3 years ago, my future looked so bright, and now I just feel like a loser.
I feel like its already too late and over to have a happy live for me.

I’ve posted something like this before, but I wanted to put it out there again.

If you’re going through something, need to vent, want advice, feel alone, or honestly just want someone to talk to, feel free to message me. It doesn’t have to be something serious either.

I also want to apologize to anyone I may have missed the last time I posted this. I tried to get back to everyone I could and I really hope I was able to help some of you, even if it was just by listening. If I missed your message or never got back to you, please feel free to reach out again.

I’d prefer to keep things through text when possible since it’s a little easier for me to keep up with conversations that way.

You don’t have to worry about bothering me or feel like what you’re dealing with isn’t “serious enough” to reach out about.

Sometimes you just need someone to talk to.

I can't promise I'll get back to everyone, mostly because it does take a bit from my emotional reservoir to listen to heavy experiences. Still, if any of you guys direly need someone to talk to, feel free to shoot me a message, and I'll get back to you when I can :)

Well, I am quite willing to listen these days and I am more than happy if I can help someone, if you wanna talk freely reach me

Hello everybody,

Im quite new to the sub. I understand this space is meant to ask or offer someone to talk to. I actually need someone to talk to but I think Id rather have people comment their advice or replies instead of someone directly messaging me. Is that okay?

Here it goes:

I am sad and here are the themes and reasons of my sadness.

1. Im still kind of depressed with my breakup last year. It involves my partner cheating on me multiple times with multiple people in a multitude of ways - emotional, secrets, witheld information, but not the conventional physical cheating (or at least, thats what I know or been told). I feel like Im very stupid for staying, for forgiving multiple times, and for believing change can happen. At one point, I have been negligent and cold in the relationship which now I think was a trauma and shutdown response from the repeated betrayals.

2. Related to #1, I feel shit. I feel disgusting physically and emotionally. There are times I do feel good but most times I second guess and feel a real, very real and continued sense of self-disgust.

3. I feel like I have wasted so much time and threw a significant portion of my life to shitty matters like that previous relationship and distracting events. I feel like I have significantly been dumbed down, underachieving, and may be faking a sense of motivation nowadays.

4. I am also in deep financial trouble due to poor decisions.

I think that’s all for now.

All Im asking is for people to give advice, share similar stories, or soothe themselves by just sharing. I am in no way karma farming or anything, I just feel like this is the best way that can help me now. I feel like I cannot trouble someone via direct messages by explaining all my overwhelming emotions and providing all the intricate, interrelated contexts that makes me feel the way I feel at the moment. I am also afraid of doxxing myself.

I hope this is allowable. Else, just please delete my post.

Thank you. And I wish everyone that I hope life gets better.

Guys, please... I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of dealing with all of this, and I genuinely want to get out of this situation somehow. But I don't have any money or support, and right now I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore. My life has become so toxic, surrounded by toxic people, and it's getting harder to keep going.

I've been fighting for so long and I'm just so exhausted. I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to because everyone is out of capacity. I lost so many of my friends. I lost so much of my old life. I'm struggling to believe my life will ever get better. I love myself so much. I don't deserve all of this, what am I doing this for if everyone hates me and doesn't want to help me. I just don't know. How can I believe that things can get better if it's just been so bad. Everyone left me when I needed them

I’m 17f, the last couple of days I’ve just been spiraling. I’m not sure if this is the right to post this but just let me know if there’s somewhere better, thanks. I’ll try to keep it short.

Anyway, I was doing a lot better than I had been doing & the last couple of months I’ve made really good friends & have really great experiences & memories with them. But the last 3ish days I feel like I’m just right back to being numb & sad. I’m not really sure why, nothing really changed, & the last 2 days I’ve been able to get up & hangout with them & act my normal self but today I’ve just kinda felt like I have absolutely no spark left, one of them begged me to hangout with her & I asked her why she was so desperate & she just answered ‘because I like hanging out with you’. So I feel really bad that I feel like crap.

I dunno it’s just like all the negative thoughts keep coming back & each day they get stronger & each time someone speaks to me I go to the worst case scenario on why their talking to me, mostly just ‘they feel bad for me’. I know it’s not true, & me 2 years ago would do ANYTHING to have the friends I do now. So I just don’t know what’s wrong.

many of you don't like to open, which I understand because you feel unheard. I'm here for all of you if you want someone to talk to either texting or calling if you're comfortable.

Hi, so this is a repost because I realized I was on an account where my name was visible —

if this goes against any guidelines at all, please feel free to remove it.

Expressing myself is really hard, and right now I feel like I want to talk to someone. Please note that this is absolutely not made to cause worry or anything, I just wanted a place to rant and I will make a list of all the trigger warnings below cause

I am not good with communication or social skills and I do not know how to formulate myself sometimes and it may come off more serious than initially intended. I am safe.

TRIGGER WARNINGS
anxiety
mental health spiraling
self harming metaphors (I would never harm myself nor anyone around me)

START OF RANT

I am severely anxious. I am on this trip with two friends [20F BOTH] they’re lovely, but every time something happens (that is unsuspected to me or doesn’t align with my mental plan) goes off course, I get this gut twisting feeling and now, just two days in, I feel like I’m drowning in anxious thoughts that spiral in to something much worse. Again, I am so sorry if this isn’t the subreddit for this, I tried every where to look for completely anonymous sources or lines to help with this anxiety/spiral I’m going in to, and of course, this is the internet so nothing will ever be anonymous. I just feel the need to talk to someone.

Why is reddit making me feel this way every night :(

I guess this is my first time ever being open about my feelings so go easy on me. I would say I grew up in a daily stable household, my parents are immigrants, and I have an older sister. It's just been the 4 of us but man I have always been depressed and my willingness to live has depleted day by day yet if you ever talk to me you would never know. I have a lot of issues, thatI am very self-aware of and I end up diagnosing myself, It would be good if I acted on those diagnosis yet I am a coward to do that. Lets start with my family, growing my there was ample amount of tensions between my family members. My parents tried their best to raise us but in the earlier years my sister and my parents had clashes as my sister was very westernized compared to my parents. Due to this I was always hyper aware of people's emotions and feelings. I overthink everything I say and I overthink on peoples actions to see if they are mad or upset because that's what I had to do. My description of my parents are this: 2 people who went through their own generational trauma, ended up getting arranged married, with a huge age gap which caused them to have a tough marriage. In another world where everyone is happier my parents would have been divorced and should have been. But in reality they are two people who speak vilely of each other yet they are very hyperdependent with eachother. It's so confusing so imagine growing up with that. I won;t see my life was bad, it  was good, my parents were great as parents, but as couples horrible. Can’t even blame them cause they never had a healthy relationship to watch growing up as their own parents weren’t the best. Now moving on, growing up I learned to mold my self here are few things I learned:

1. Never show your true emotions or cry in front of others.
2. You have no one but yourself,
3. Never end up like your parents
4. You are messed up.

I was always the ears in the family, imagine going to school and hearing your mom say your father is a loser, she hates him, and how much her life is miserable because of him. Imagine your father picking you up from school saying how he is not happy, how depressed he is because of your mom and so on. This happened starting when I was 10. Imagine seeing your sister cry because of your parents, and hate her life,and your parents struggling to find out what's wrong. It was fundamentally wrong from the beginning. Welp this has caused me to develop some mental issues lets say. I saw my friends have big wonderful families, with cousins, grandparents and uncles being by their side and living life, while in this life I only had my parents and sister. My own grandparents rarely talk to me, call it time, call it distance, or call it the fact I am not married, or I am not a man. Call it whatever you want but that caused a deep rooted insecurity in me, that in this life I will have no family that is immediate. I won’t have a grandma to be sitting with or a cousin to talk with. I am basically alone. So growing up me having issues lets get on that shall we… I like to have academic insecurity with my grades and performance. I once equated my 1 GPA to my life saying “ if I don’t get XGpA I will kill myself”.. I know it's crazy but it's very true. That was the lowest point in my life to be honest and I hate that I valued my life so low to a grade but yet I still do it. After undergrad I felt worthless because school took me out. I never really had friends. I am a very introverted extroverted person. As in I start off as an extreme introvert but once I know you, I will become your biggest extroverted friend. But growing up I never had best friends. High school was hell. And Uni well i had 3 friends but due to my mental instability and my detachment disorder I haven’t been friends with them for a long time. I am never happy with what I have not that I have a lot of things but If I get an apple and someone gets a pear, I may not want that pear but my mind goes, Ah I should have aimed for that pear… do I like pear no, but I suddenly feel anxious that I am going back in time or losing cause of that. It's not a hateful thing, I am happy the person got a pear and they deserved it but then I look at my apple and I say why didn’t I work hard for that pear ( even though I put my blood into getting that apple), why am I such a failure… Why am I such an idiot? They say your biggest enemy is yourself and I agree with that. Thats how I have been for sometime and it really gets to you when you have friends, cause they may be doing something completely different in life but when you see them do it you look at your own and say: why didn’t I try to do that, why didn’t I have that”... So naturally when I get those emotions that I sadly cannot control (tried), I remove myself from the situation, which often makes me lose out of friendships. Due to this, I never had a friend, and I am pretty bored as I am too scared to do anything by myself so I just don’t do anything. While watching my friends have their friends and doing their own stuff, I sit her with my apple, saying Why don’t I have that pear. Due to this I am extremely lonely. Ah, I don't even know what I am saying; maybe there is nothing wrong with me and I am making a big deal out of nothing, but when It comes to life and everything, I feel like I am lacking something fundamentally. I have no one to talk to, no one to say hi how are you doing, or check up on. I always craved that one friend, who's like your family, who's always there for you. I wanted that one person to come fill that void in my life that was left from my trauma of having no family, or having no childhood, of having crying birthdays… I am still waiting for that person cause I feel like once this friend comes in I will be fixed; I will be happy. Whether it's a boyfriend or a best friend… I lack that. I just want someone to tell me I am normal my thoughts are normal.

Maybe one day I will share my journal here to show people what my thoughts really are cause I tend to gaslight myself

as the title says
i need someone to talk to on the phone for company please, if you can please message me

I am a 17-year-old male, turning 18 soon, and I feel completely lost in my life. I feel so dead and miserable. I have no drive to push myself or achieve anything anymore. I just feel empty. The only thing my mind keeps telling me is to end it.

I have had a terrible addiction to pornography since I was 13 years old, and I can’t go a single day without watching it. I feel so pathetic. I can’t even look at a girl in real life and find her attractive anymore. It has left me feeling numb, and it’s like I carry this pain in my body every day.

I feel like a failure to my mum and dad. My dad has always compared me to his own father, who was a failure. He abused his wife and children, cheated on her, and stole money from the family. My dad has told me that I’m the only one in the family who resembles his father, and hearing that makes me feel terrible. I don’t want to grow up to be anything like that man.

I don’t even know much about my own dad. He was always working, and when he wasn’t working, he would be playing tennis with my sister while my mum drove her around. I was usually left at home by myself for hours. I don’t really have any memories of spending time with my family, and I don’t even know much about them. I feel like a terrible son and a terrible person for saying that, but it’s how I honestly feel.