Can someone realize they are a pedophile at 25?

Mitt långa, mörka, glansiga och drömlika hår har varit en stor del av mig under stora delar av mitt liv. Vem är jag utan det? Det undrade jag förra året under sommaren. Under många hår har jag velat klippa av det, page, mullet, pixie. Vad som helst som sticker ut från mitt vanliga. Men jag vågade aldrig. På grund av andras reaktioner och åsikter. När de sa ”nej klipp inte ditt fina hår!” nej då vågade inte unga jag. Jag blev avskräckt och trodde att detta beslutet skulle påverka hur vacker jag var. Men sen stod jag där en dag och kände i magen att det var dags. För vem är dem att säga till mig vad jag borde göra. Visserligen hade jag ställt frågan. Men de visste inte vad de prata om. Ellerhur? 

Under tiden var jag uppslukad i Twin peaks och Donna var min absoluta stil ikon. Så page blev det. Min frisör klippte det rätt av utan att blinka. Hennes självsäkerhet gjorde det enkelt och det kändes bra. När jag lämnade salongen kände jag mig som en hollywood dröm. En ung kvinna som var redo för livet. 18 fyllda eller ej så kände jag mig 25. Jag kunde känna blickarna och min själ matades med energi. Jag visste att detta var rätt beslut. 

Uppmärksamheten online östes på och jag var så glad. 

Efter tre eller fyra dagar insåg jag vad detta innebar påriktigt. Mitt hår var borta och de skulle inte komma tillbaka. Det kändes tomt och ensamt vid axlarna. Jag kunde inte gömma mitt övre bröst/ axel parti. Vilket jag tagit in i kalkyl innan jag tog beslutet. Jag hade hoppats att de inte skulle vara ett problem trotts allt. Men sen kom den där dagen när håret kändes fult. Då kändes de för kort. Jag stack ut för mycket. Jag såg pojkaktig ut. Jag såg ut som att jag inte visste vad jag gjorde och alla kunde se det. Jag kände blickarna. De visste hur obekväm jag var. 

Dagarna gick och ångern var kvar. Många komplimanger. Jag skrollade igenom gamla bilder och videos och min mage sa till mig att det var fel. Det blev bara fel. Aldrig igen. Aldrig igen, sa jag. 

Knappt ett år senare hade de växt ut några decimeter och jag kände det i magen igen. Min mage vred på sig för att få sticka ut igen. Mina rosa slingor gjorde comeback för tredje gången, under våren. De stannade länge, längre än någonsin. Men sen satt jag i solen en dag. Då kände jag att det var dags. Samma magkänsla som sist. Var kom den ifrån? Nu hade jag inte tänkt på det länge utan det bara kom. Så jag bokade tid och klippte mig igen. Samma dag. 

Det blev lite väl kort men jag vande mig. Denhär gången kändes det bra i flera månader. Tills det inte kändes bra längre. Det ända jag kunde tänka på var hur livet varit med långt hår. Åh tänk om jag träffat den här personen med mitt långa hår då hen gillat mig dirket. 

Men sanningen är. Att min skönhet inte ligger i min hår längd. Eller? Hur kan så mycket värde läggas i slittna toppar som skriker för att få bli avklippta. Hur kan det kännas så fel men så rätt? 

Hur ska jag veta vad jag vill. 

Är det min själ som skriker för att få sticka ut och inte vara som alla andra. Är det en bit i mig som vet att oavsett hur mycket jag försöker se ut som andra vill att jag ska se ut så kommer jag aldrig vara så. Det är något i mig som skriker efter en skillnad. En skillnad från allt monotont. Från allt likadant. Är håret det enklaste sättet? 

Är det fel av mig att vilja ha långt hår, när jag egentligen inte vill det. Jag vill visa vart jag står för världen. Jag är inte som NI! Skriker jag. Skrika måste göras med skillnad. Jag kan inte se ut som alla andra. Är de politiskt? Eller är jag bara förvirrad. 

I am a people pleaser I always have been a big one

I’ve allowed people to outright disrespect and walk all over me and I treat them like they’re royalty more times than I can count

I deep down really hate myself it’s easy for me to treat others well but I can’t bring myself to do the same for me

When I was watching the bad characteristics of Clark’s character I couldn’t stop relating and I don’t know if that’s a bad or good thing

Okay, throwaway because my boyfriend browses Reddit sometimes, and I really don’t want to start unnecessary drama between us.

We’ve been dating exactly three months, tbh things had felt really good lately. We hang out every weekend, message each other daily, and I never had any weird suspicions up until now. Last night I was bored, so I clicked onto his Instagram page out of random curiosity, and my mood crashed immediately. His following list went on forever. I kept scrolling, and almost every account was attractive women posting fashion content, modeling photos and that kind of thing.

My brain instantly jumped to the absolute worst-case scenario. I laid awake half the night spiraling. I fully convinced myself he was creeping on these girls privately and hiding flirty conversations. I even typed out a whole breakup text last night, ready to send it first thing in the morning. I couldn’t stop overthinking, I was such a mess. For work, I rely on acciowork when running background checks on prospective suppliers. Part of my routine involves pulling up contact social media pages, going through public posts to confirm what services they offer, similar to how I verify store feedback and business credentials while sourcing new partners. I copied links to around ten of those Instagram accounts and ran them through it. For real, part of me almost expected to find something suspicious, old comments or anything that could prove my fears. But there was literally nothing out of the ordinary at all. I even manually scrolled through pages of their posts myself, every single account only shared industry work content. It felt so surreal once it clicked. Turns out none of these women are people he’s trying to chat up. They’re freelance clothing models, brand buyers and wholesale suppliers he’s been reaching out to build his small clothing side business this year. All those nights I thought he was mindlessly scrolling Instagram wasting time?

He was searching for collaborators, sourcing product photos and sorting inventory for his little business. I feel so ridiculous now. I worked myself up into this massive jealous panic over something that’s him putting in extra work to earn more money. I haven’t told him I went through his following list or reviewed those profiles using my usual work platform. On one hand I hate how wildly I overreacted. Even knowing everything is purely work related, seeing that endless list of model accounts still leaves me with this strange uneasy feeling. It’s hard to shake off. So… I nearly ended our whole relationship over this misunderstanding. Should I admit to him that I spiraled badly and snooped his follows? Or do I keep all of this to myself?

Guys, this might sound racist, but trust me, I don't intend to propagate any racism. This is just a random thought I got while showering, so here I am

. When there is some crime against women, and men come out saying, "not all men," it's stupid. We know that. Also, when women see most of the men around them as potential threats, and men say "not all men," we understand that it's bullshit to be saying that cause when there are so many crimes against women by men, you can't trust men easily, and there is, of course, a potential threat around men towards women.

BUT

When we talk about terrorism associated with religious motives, we see Islam dominating the part, so when people are skeptical or suspicious or even uncomfortable of muslims so, why is that not understandable and why is it racist instead??

Also, I tried to come up with a reasoning against that, but I couldn't come up with one, so please tell me what you guys think, and I do not intend to propagate racism against Muslims by this at all. This is just a very raw thought of mine.

So recently this is my spiral of intrustive thoughts.

"What if i just walked into the middle of the road right now"

"Loll thats funny i dont want to do that tho so its fine"

"wait but what if i did"

"but i dont"

"but what if i did"

"wait what if i actually do.."

"omg what if i actually do it"

*avoids busy roads for a whole ass week bc im scared that i will even though ik i wont*

I've been dealing with this for what feels like long but isn't very very long and I honestly feel horrible, tired, and feel like crying.

Whenever I found some artist attractive and had a intimate/physical daydream, my brain immediately went into panic mode. At first I did genuinely admire their personality, kindness, style, or appearance alot but then my thoughts went completely spiral and I feel like suddenly none of that exists very more now because that attraction kind of feeling is what that's taking place now but I kind of know that my love still exists. ( I don't daydream for any person or think about them that much but for that artist because I know them more and when I start liking other celebrites/artists/actors I start getting images of weird thoughts and feelings a bit. I feel anxious and overthink because I get past trauma of that artist I really found attractive/loved and how I'm gonna like is them is gonna my previous artist kinda physical attraction but less of knowing them more.

I start asking myself things like:

* "Am I objectifying them?" * "Do I only like them because they're attractive?" * "What if I secretly don't respect them?" * "What if this means I'll feel this way about every attractive person I see?"

The worst part is that I don't want to that to be the only reason I like them. That's exactly why I get so anxious. I care so much about that, that my brain won't let me stop thinking about it.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? If so:

* Did it get better? * Was it anxiety, OCD, or something else? * How did you stop overthinking every single attraction?

I just want peace. I miss being able to admire people without my brain turning it into a moral crisis :(

I was thinking about game of thrones and thought all these stories came from someone dudes thoughts..

When has anyone else had ducked up thoughts? Has it made them rich? Or fucked things up for them?

Technically. You are f**king... Yourself. So..... It is self-cest.

I originally posted this to a mental health page but I decided that I need to post it to somewhere where people with adjacent issues will see it. I know these aren't INTRUSIVE thoughts but they are obsessive and I need help dealing with them, please redirect me to a better subreddit if this isn't appropriate for this one. I'm just very desperate and everything i think to do is wrong.

I'm a teenage girl (15) and I'm having terrible thoughts and a lack of emotions and I'm at a breaking point. My obsessive thoughts started at 13/14 and they usually come around when I feel sad or late at night and it completely wrecks my week, I've learned how to manage them so they fade away but I really can't take this anymore. They're all about really stupid things like the color of my girlfriends hair or the way my tounge rests in my mouth and thats what makes it worse. My thoughts this week at about being able to read properly and my daydreaming. When I'm reading something, I just get a feeling like I didn't get what I just read so I read it over and over and over and I beat myself up If I miss anything but I keep reading until the sentence doesn't matter and I realize it never mattered because it doesn't make me feel anything. I keep obsessing over my concentration and my reading and I don't even read that much but I just feel so fucking stupid. And my daydreaming problem is ass. I can't daydream anymore, I used to daydream all the time and if listen to music and play it out in my head, I was in my own world. But recently I can't, when I start I just see flashes of what I'm day dreaming and I click back to life and it sucks. I just wanna daydream, I can't daydream about my girlfriend or my fandoms or anything. I'm just stuck inside my own empty mind. I keep obsessing over it too,I can't stop and it hurts. I don't expect people to see this straight away but I just need some help.

let me clear stuff up i’ve have NO ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR ANY OF MY FAMILY!anyway i was masturbating and i had a thought in the back of my head like “masterbate to ur sister” and i said to myself “what?? eww bro and if you do it you’ll regret the fuck out of it” and i do like why did i do that bro i cant live with the fact that i done that over MY OWN FUCKING SISTER like what the hell bro

(23M) - Can OCD (POCD) give false attraction? Noticed someone online, she looks like she could be in high school. My brain automatically thinks because I think a girl is pretty/attractive I am automatically a p3do. Has anyone ever encountered something like this?

This has never happened to me before. Deadass .. I would scroll online and automatically know if a girl is not of age and keep it pushing. And now it’s like my mind has done a full 360 change .. like it’s so latched on to teenagers now

Nowadays, girls be 23/24 and don’t even look like it. Now it’s 15/16/17 yr olds looking 18/19/20 and up nowadays .. shits triggering me and making me stress out

For context, I went through HOCD/SO-OCD from 2023 to May of 2026 (this year) and it felt like at some point, I found every dude “attractive” or like I “wanted them.” The false attractions would also latch on to dudes who looked a certain way. The false attractions were crazy too because it would be full on statements like “oh he’s sexy” .. like some crazy ass shit like that .. yeah ..

It’s the same thing here but with POCD towards a certain age group who look a certain way

Has anyone else ever encountered something like this before?

Anyone in uk awake just wanna chat?