I’m in a point in my life where I feel like I really need to talk to someone like me. Nobody really gets me, and I really need to be able to communicate with someone who thinks like me. Are there any groups existing for this ? Or does anybody 130+ feel the same ? Thanks

I read a lot of statements online from people who are like "Being called smart made me a perfectionist and now I have anxiety."

I was just wondering if any of you had that experience. Personally, people mostly called me stupid and awkward because I was autistic so, while I was intelligent, it never came across well because I never knew how to communicate. So I love being called smart lol.

Most of my life was people expecting me to perform and then not receiving praise for it. Like, the two results I could expect were "Okay good, you performed how we told you to" or "You're a stupid idiot who can't do anything."

I truly can't relate to the problem of being traumatized from too many compliments.

Hello everyone,

I’m 58, living in Ontario, Canada, and I am finally ready to stop playing a character just to dummy myself down for casual socialization.

My journey here wasn't academic; it was forged through fire. I survived a deeply dysfunctional, Mommie Dearest-esque childhood that forced me into adult-level psychological maturity around age 6. I've survived intense travesties of justice, systemic failures, and a Near-Death Experience (NDE). Those events triggered decades of brutal, relentless self-education.

Using Robert Kegan’s developmental framework, I spent a long time operating at Stage 4 (Self-Authoring). However, about two years ago, something shifted. I stepped completely outside the box of my own mind. I watched my need to argue, correct, or educate others simply evaporate. I dropped the ego-driven need to be right. Today, I hold my values deeply, but I view my own mind as an ongoing process rather than a rigid, finished product.

Living in a world that largely operates on Stage 2 and Stage 3 logic can be incredibly isolating. I have a long-term "coffee mate" neighbour who is trapped in the Dunning-Kruger effect. While I’ve learned to accept her completely, protect my energy, and genuinely laugh at TikTok comments with her, I am absolutely starving for deep, nuanced, two-way conversations where I don’t have to act as a silent audience or an emotional translator.

My saving graces are music and laughter. I don't just listen to music; I feel its architectural and emotional depth in my bones—it was my childhood escape. And despite everything I've survived, I laugh at myself and the absurdities of human conditioning constantly.

I’m joining this space to find people who can meet me in the middle. I want to read long-form thoughts, dissect complex systems without ideological shouting, and engage with people who have also done the heavy lifting to look at the jar from the outside.

If any of this resonates, I’d love to connect. What did your transition from Stage 4 to Stage 5 feel like, and how do you handle the unique isolation that comes with it?

​I am currently living the bad side of being gifted. I tested 128 on the official Mensa 20-minute test, and based on lots and lots of online tests I vary in the 125–135 range.

​All was fun and games when I went through elementary and high school, procrastinating and feeling superior and all. I got praised as a child for being the "genius" of the family, for reading and analyzing difficult literature in school, for superior writing skills, and overall success in all subjects, including artistic skills.

​And I shot myself in the foot and went to CompSci to prove a point. I graduated with good success, but I wouldn't say I developed discipline or the ability to look stupid and not care, since I got by on bursts of energy, using praise from professors and family as fuel. But I developed some kind of perseverance and trust in myself, and got out of my shell.

​Due to some circumstances, I got traumatized and depressed shortly after, and I can't get out of it in 2 years. I tried working 3 IT jobs, but I lose it, whereas it used to just mildly bore me before that.

​I expected the world, I hate myself when I am dealing with uncertainty or a difficult problem, and I have lost my ability to be patient and regulate.

​In the past few months I have been doing better, due to what I can only call divine grace and immense human kindness. But, my expectations, ego, and work habits still overwhelm me when starting to work. ​I am also not as intelligent as I used to believe, and as people around me used to believe, so things don't come as easy to me as I expected them to.

​Truth be told, however infantile it sounds, I kind of expected a score around 140, so there it is. I got unbelievably upset over it, like a mad person.

And, I have everything a person my age could ask for. Literally everything, and more. So that fact hits me like a storm whenever I spiral, knowing how ungratefull I am and all, and just adds fuel to the fire.

​Question is, can anyone offer advice on how to get out and stop analyzing, if they have been through the same thing? My brain is literally bullying me. I can't manage it.

​Thanks

I was raised in a house with 3 other children. None of us have the same father and I've learnt that my father was very abusive towards my older brother and later me too. my older brother was and is a very competitive person and would beat me to a pulp if I ever exceeded him in anything. So I learned to act like I was too dumb for anything. This behaviour has followed me into adulthood and I had started to believe I was just really stupid.

But there was one memory I had as a child, a memory that resurfaced once I learn I am above average in IQ, but while learning to play violin(6-7 yo), the teacher said to my parents that I was a savant and would become a great violinist. The pressure of exceeding my brother made me abandon that dream. And this tactic of mine continued with everything I did. Anytime people would notice how extraordinary I was at doing something, I would instantly abandon it and play dumb.

My Step-dad knew my potential and used to joke that I was to afraid to deal with the extra work needed to become anything. But my parents have never known the truth of my own neglect. Not even after all the hospital visit and stitches I needed after the beatings.

Being traumatized my whole life has made me a hermit and isolation has made me depressed. I have a hard time letting go, even though my brother has no power over me anymore. He still occupies my fears of success. I have tried therapy, but I keep getting therapists that just want to get paid and not do their jobs. So they just listen to me rant for 40-50 min and call it a day.

I am sick of this life. I've been planning to leave and I've tried to a few times. But I don't want to hurt the ones that do love me. I want to find a solution to this insanity.

Anywho, if you made it this far, thank you for reading.

The subject is the title entirely. At my job, my superiors do not seem to understand what I am talking about. Personally, most people simply do not click. I have only one friend I can really share my thoughts with.

There was a dialogue between scientists. The scientists were divided into two halves: intelligence is speed and intelligence is slow. But the problem is that intelligence means that a person analyzes quickly. Historical figures, geniuses like Newton, Einstein, and others, used to take years or weeks to analyze one thing. And in terms of speed, I have a question: why does intelligence equal speed? The Book of Daniel is about. Fast and slow thinking: Humans think quickly about basic things like 1+1, which is instinctive and helps them avoid a car, for example. The second system is the thinking system, which takes time and effort to process things. Regarding fluid intelligence, it has been criticized, including its racist uses. It might also be a distorted concept because fluid intelligence is influenced by the information you have. Studies have shown that geniuses aren't necessarily fast; rather, their brains use fewer parts, allowing them to solve problems quickly. This is common in educated environments, but also in impoverished environments if a person has a passion like Brazilians for football or Europeans for colonialism (just kidding). Also, if intelligence were fixed, why would it be affected by factors like anxiety, fear, or happiness? Consider the story of Otto von Bismarck. Those who read his biography consider him a fool, or you could call him mentally deficient. He failed in politics when he first entered it and accumulated debts due to gambling. But when he returned to politics, he was able to unify Germany with blood and iron. Those who say he was like that aren't necessarily stupid. If he were truly intelligent, why was his first political speech so disastrous? This is also a preemptive response to those who say that Einstein and Newton solved problems by... It's complex, so they didn't appear to be very fast. In their daily lives, they forgot things, just like Newton forgetting to eat or Einstein forgetting his keys or not taking care of his hair. Also, a question for geniuses: Is intelligence necessary all the time? Does it manifest when you're buying bread or talking to the neighbors? And do you think intelligence means being a genius at everything?

I have inattentive ADHD and probably giftedness, but I also have GAD and panic disorder, so stimulants like Concerta or Vyvanse aren’t really an option for me.
My executive function is terrible. I can hyperfocus for hours on topics I’m interested in, but when it comes to things I have to do, I avoid them until the deadline is right in front of me.

For those with ADHD (especially if you’re gifted/2e), what behavioral changes or daily habits actually improved your executive function? Things like starting tasks, procrastination, planning, staying consistent, or managing hyperfocus.

I’d really like to hear what has genuinely worked for you.

especially for those who tought they were gonna do great thing and ended up in a boring normal life

Hello! *TW* Discussion of depression.

I’m not diagnosed with anything, but I wanted to post here because I’ve been struggling with depression for the past seven years (since I was 14). A big part of it is that I feel like I see the world differently from most people, and I’ve never found someone who understands that.

I believe many of you might relate to feeling misunderstood, even if our experiences and reasons are different.

I’ve been through a lot, but that’s not what causes my depression. I am depressed because I exist. The thing is that sometimes I worry that even a therapist would think I’m a lost cause.

I don’t want to go into too much detail because I know that everyone has their own issues. I just wanted to ask if its worth it holding on to hope.

English is my second language. I hope you can understand what I expressed.

I never asked questions in school because I had learned talking got me screamed at.

I never disclosed my ideas because I learned thinking got me smacked.

I learned to do well at school but not well enough that I stood out because then I would have no friends.

I learned to hide any areas I struggled in because it was fueling my parents' marriage collapsing.

No summer programs or talented clubs or anything to show for it because I was too busy running away and being homeless.

I did not present as a gifted kid. I only got identified in college because all of my "giftedness" has been hidden for safety. I can't relate to the "burnt out former gifted kid" stereotypes because I wasn't burnt out from being gifted; I was burnt out from surviving violence.

Not sure if this is related to giftedness at all or if it's just a character quirk. It's incredibly easy to lie to me etc. not because I don't notice the logical mistakes but because I automatically come up with a fitting explanation for them. I can rationalise *everything* no matter how non sensical it should be. It's actually embarrassing how often someone told me an obvious lie and then my own brain made it into a believable one.

So throughout my life, being above average in book smarts has been my identity. I was never placed in a gifted class and I have never once in my entire academic life found more than 1 person who challenged me (he also happens to be my best friend of 7 years).

Ive been in college for 2 semesters now and things haven’t been as smooth as school because I’m slowly learning that sometimes relying on my intellect is not enough, but Ive still only met few people who were on the same level as me, mostly 1 or 2 in each class since I’m in a country where top colleges with over achievers don’t exist (so nothing similar to being at places like MIT or Harvard where everyone is just a genius).

This year, I took a none compulsory upper level math course, so everyone there was strictly there because they just were truly passionate about the subject. Not because it was a major requirement or a pre requisite. And everyone there was extremely bright. It was the first time in my life where I felt like I was nothing special. I still felt like I was among the top of the class, but I couldn’t easily impress the professors with my questions like in most other classes, I couldn’t easily get the highest grade in every exam, and I was, for the first time ever, not labelled as the smart guy of the class.

It was a blast to be with similar minded people. Class discussions were so stimulating it was honestly just incredible. It was the best academic experience of my life.

When psychologists talk about exceptional intelligence, the conversation almost always gravitates toward IQ. Our instinct to default to the measurable, scoreable, and rankable quantity is understandable.

However, decades of cognitive science have assembled a case for a different kind of mind entirely: one that doesn’t show up cleanly on standardized assessments, one that is incredibly difficult to cultivate, and one that may be more predictive of real-world creative impact than raw processing speed. Researchers sometimes call it integrative intelligence, and it’s the rare capacity to think fluently across unrelated domains and build something new at the intersections.

Hi all!

I’m 25F based in NYC who only recently realized what giftedness meant as an adult. Was identified as a kid.

Have been feeling pretty lonely in the way I see the world. Looking to chat / connect with other gifted people (bonus if you’re in NYC).

Or if you guys know anywhere I can hang around to find others! Was thinking of Mensa, but my school deleted my gifted records and I’d have to take the Mensa test to get in lol.

I sought a psychological assessment a few years ago assuming that I would get an ADHD diagnosis and a prescription to help manage the symptoms. Instead I got "giftedness and non-ADHD executive dysfunction". I've been pretty disappointed by that diagnosis as there are almost no resources out there for adults suffering from these disorders, never mind a handy pill. Anyone out there with a similar diagnosis and have you found anything that helps make life more manageable?

I had gotten tested in 10th grade, 3 years ago, and the results put me in the gifted range. I put that word in quotations because finding out about it has made my life fucking horrible, sad, and isolated instead of being a blessing.

I. FUCKING. HATE. THAT. LABEL. WITH. EVERYTHING. I. HAVE.

Ever since that goddamn day, I've felt like my whole life has hinged on affirming my "giftedness" and that I, as a person, do not FUCKING matter if I even perform below what is expected of a "gifted" piece of trash. I've spent endless days obsessing over toxins I need to avoid, exercises I should do to maintain peak function, supplements I could take, et cetera. I've even thrown all of my savings away for lab tests.

I, deadass, started wearing GLOVES to not touch anything and developed OCD-level hygiene to the point that my fucking SKIN has ripped open and I have these visceral reactions when dust, liquid, or even PEOPLE, MY OWN FAMILY, get close to me. I look crazy, I FEEL crazy, my family thinks I'm crazy, and my friends think I'm crazy. I feel like SHIT, bruh. It's gotten so bad that I've become VIOLENT whenever I feel like something threatens my brain health. Yet, surprise-surprise, my efforts to preserve it ultimately fucking destroyed it. These 3 years have probably been the WORST outside of my childhood. I am holistically fucked.

I hate that I'm considered "gifted." I hate it so much. And I especially hate that I'm expected to inhale and exhale excellence. I genuinely wish I never found out in the first place.

Tl;Dr: Guy with extreme anxiety rants about how trying to preserve his blessing made his life unbearable. Happy some of y'all have great lives, though. Kinda jealous.

I’m a woman with AuDHD and giftedness, and I’ve been feeling like a failure lately. I can’t seem to bring myself to do anything. People call me intelligent, but I honestly don't feel like I am; all I do is struggle. I can barely keep my house clean by myself, and I can hardly get anything done unless it’s the last minute. Even though I’ve been receiving therapy, I feel like I'm barely making progress.

My parents are against ADHD medication, and I can barely afford it anyway. College isn’t even hard—it’s just boring—and I feel like I’m not doing anything special. I feel lazy, and I can't bring myself to do any of the things I want to do. I feel useless

Hey guys!

Like probably most of you highschool was very easy for me so I never had to actually put stuff in my long memory. This obviously caught up on me in university where I really see that I have an awful foundation. I can still understand most content but I sense that I’m now really getting held back by my “vague” foundation. I know most stuff ‘intuitively’ but I can’t defend or recollect the information which really hurts my confidence academically, if you get what I mean. Most noticeably in math or statistics where I really struggle with even the basics.

Did you guys ever catch up and really learned the foundation now that you aren’t a kid anymore? I am currently studying some old schoolbooks but it can get so incredibly boring.

Is there any resources for stuff like this? Or even specific for gifted people to study? What are your guys advice?

Thanks!

I don’t and have never felt normal in comparison to my peers.

What do I do?

My husband and I watched "Dinner with Andre" last night, and it struck me that it was one of the first/only films I've seen that featured a 2E main character (gifted plus what seems to be bipolar I w/ psychosis) that seemed specifically oriented towards a 2E audience.

Certainly there are portrayals of 2E folks in film and media, but from what I've seen they are typically for general audiences ​(think Beautiful Mind, ​the Soloist, Gifted, Big Bang Theory, House MD, the Queen's Gambit, etc).

The other films that my husband and I could think of that might be in the category of "2E for 2E" include Goodwill Hunting (my husband has seen it but I haven't yet), films by Brit Marling, and films by ​Werner Herzog.

Are there ​other films or TV shows you all know of that feature 2E characters that specifically target 2E audiences?

Thanks in advance.

What has been your experience, especially navigating the workplace, friendships, and relationships?

​

I don't know what to do. I am a single mom to a 13 year old son going into the 8th grade. We live in an affluent area but I am not financially well-off at all.

My son is a pretty miserable child - really smart but extremely unmotivated, depressed, no solid friendships etc. However, he seems to be a truly gifted composer. The music he writes all sound like scores you'd hear in movies and they all evoke emotions in a deep way. His music evokes emotion in others that I have never even seen him have himself, so I have no idea how he does it. I sent him to a music composer's summer camp this year on financial aid and he's created some beautiful pieces that I got to see livestream-performed by professional musicians. His talent is beyond what I know what to do with and it's such a niche talent that there just aren't peers. He plays piano and clarinet, but he's not particularly gifted in those - he can't actually play much of what he writes and would need a whole flipping orchestra to play the music anyway.

This school year, he was put onto the lowest level town travel soccer team with none of his friends. He will lose those friendships because of it (by his own inertia). He's so bored and disorganized in school that he gets mediocre grades and has awful attendance. He's asked him to take him out of school multiple times to homeschool and I just can't figure out how to do that since I work full-time at a pretty unpredictable job - much of the time I can be wfh, but other times I'm out of the house for like 10 hours working in the field and I never know when what kind of day it'll be at the start. However, he feels locked into a character of a person that he sees people seeing him as and finds it too embarrassing or something to reinvent himself into someone he'd be happier with being. So I'm trying to figure out how to best support him, his talent and his education holistically, and I am not getting anywhere. There is a quasi local private performing arts focused private day/boardingschool in the area, but tuition for that is like $60k a year (there is needs-based financial aid, but...) However, preparing him this year to try to go there seems bonkers because I probably could not pull that off at all. Plus the added problem of him being surrounded by RICH rich kids - he's already pretty sensitive to how poor we are. The area charter schools are still too far and are even less arts focused. I want to consider giving him a path to reinventing himself next year for high school while also fostering his talent. It's nearly impossible to find music education that is composition-based and anything that does is really more geared towards songwriting rather than scoring. And is also a trillion dollars. But he needs true peers.

How do I functionally support this kid and his talent with no money, a full-time job, with us both being neurodiverse in the executive functioning arena and also I'm already just exhausted? How do I even determine what financial and time investment I put into his development as a composer? It's such a niche area and I literally have no one to ask because it's not as accessible a situation as something like being a gifted musician, it's a whole other category entirely.

I’m curious to see how many people here have had a formal psychological or neuropsychological assessment versus identifying themselves based on their own research.

So two days ago I posted a question: why does most of the high iq individuals I met have autism/adhd or both.

And people have given various explanations saying only 1/3rd of gifted people have autism/adhd.

But i was in a gifted program in childhood along with 33 other prodigies.

Each and every one of them either have autism,adhd or both.

I thought it was a coincidence but thinking about it more i realised this cannot be a coincidence and there's some kind of correlation.

I went to the math Olympiads and I'm an international chess player registered in fide.

I've observed many autistic kids of my age,kids younger than my age and older.

But there's no factual evidence supporting any of these.

But just look at the number.

The ratio is 1:1.83 and i believe i could have conducted this pole in a better way.

Cuz I was just curious about the correlation between adhd/autism with giftedness.

But there are many more neurodivergence like bipolar, dyslexia etc.

I should have provide another option of other neurodivergence.

I believe with this option the ratio will become more than 1:2.

It's not a mere coincidence it's a statistical anomaly.