OH MY GOD IT WAS AWESOME. It may have been with some random guy but… STILL OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. IT WAS SO GOOD I ONLY LASTED LIKE TEN SECONDS😘😘😘😘 I ALSO GOT TO GIVE HIM HEAD BACK AND HE TOLD ME I WAS REALLY GOOD AT IT 😝😝😝😜😝😝😝 GUYS THIS IS SO EXCITING YOU HAVE NO IDEA🤩🤩🤩🤩

I (26M) work in a small family-owned business in the financial services industry. I am seeing this guy right now and am planning to come out for him if we continue to work out. Will this likely affect my career? I’m very straight-passing and feel it’s really no one’s business but just wanted some opinions so I can prepare. TIA!

I hope this is the right place for this, I really just need some help.

For context, I (23M) am gay and I grew up in a very strict religious household where it was taught that sex outside of (heterosexual) marriage is wrong. My personal views are drastically different, however.

My first time hooking up was over a year ago, and I was in a horrible mental state for several weeks after the fact. I couldn't bear it anymore and I told my parents, which is also how I came out to them. It brought temporary relief, but it also created new problems as they basically tried to convince me that I wasn't gay or that I could stop being gay for several weeks after that. It built up to us having an argument that was really hurtful to me. My dad apologized the next day, but I still feel hurt by it.

Ever since then we've just gone on with life pretending nothing ever happened. But I'm a human being with hormones and yesterday I decided to hook up again. I felt ok after the fact with a tiny bit of guilt. I was determined that I'm an adult, there's nothing wrong with safe and consensual sex, and that it's none of my parents' business. And I was able to ward off feeling terribly bad about it until going to bed last night, then it just came flooding in and I lost sleep over this hookup.

This morning I feel super anxious and I'm on the verge of tears as I type this out. I don't want to relive the trauma that I went through last time. I know my personal beliefs about all this, but for some reason it's not enough. I still love my parents and wonder what they'd think if they knew I did it again. How would it affect our relationship? The three of us have a trip coming up in three weeks and I wonder if I've ruined my ability to enjoy it. I feel so overwhelmed and I don't know what to do.

I sometimes se that some gays hate girls, especially in the philippines.

25M.

I have nothing against fem gay guys. If someone’s being a dick to them, I’ll say something. But at the same time, I’m not attracted to them. I don’t think they’re ugly and I can admire the time and effort that goes into the hair and fashion and nails but it just does nothing for me personally.

At the same time, I’m a big hairy bear and I know what it’s like to be on the “fats” end of those shitty racist white gay dudes who put “no fats, no fems, no Asians” in their bios. It sucks. I get people DMing me mean shit on Grindr just because I’m fat. I know a lot of people of color who get racist shit in DMs, I’ll assume fems get similar bullshit.

It makes me feel like I’m just as bad as the guys who don’t want me to exist in gay spaces just because I’m husky and hairy and I don’t look like some molded Adonis.

When fems message me (I do have masc4masc in my bio but I know not everyone reads those) I am polite and treat them how I’d want to be treated. Usually, something to the effect of “Hey I’m looking for something else but good luck!”

Does this say something about me?

Ferran Torres and Alex Baena are so attractive. I hope others can resonate with me. Spanish men in general are the hottest!

I know attraction is subjective, so I’m curious to hear people’s honest thoughts.

I’m naturally quite feminine-looking. I don’t dress femininely or identify as a femboy, I just have softer features and slightly longer hair.

People often tell me I’m “pretty” or “beautiful,” followed by “but you’re not my type.” I completely respect that, especially as I’m generally attracted to masculine men myself .

What confuses me is that online there seems to be a huge interest in feminine guys, but in real life I rarely see it. Most of the attention I get comes from curious or bisexual men(with girlfriends), and it often feels more like they’re interested in the fantasy of a feminine guy than in me as a person or potential partner.

I’ve also noticed that some more flamboyant gay men joke about me being a femboy or “basically a woman,” despite presenting more femininely than I do themselves. I don’t mean that as criticism,I just find it interesting.

So I’m curious:
If you’re into men, where does natural femininity become unattractive?
Is it appearance, mannerisms, voice, confidence, or something else?

And if you’re a masculine guy who’s into naturally feminine men, where are you all!? I almost never seem to meet you.

At 31 I feel like a loser because I'm not having any sex, I want it sure, but I'm not having it. I just think I'm a loser because I'm not able to have any good sex. The last time I had sex was maybe two years ago, it wasn't great or good or even ok. I can't find out what I like because I'm not having a sex life. And now I think I hate sex. I hate that I can't measure up to the lucky guys that are having great sex whenever they want. I really wish I was asexual, then I just wouldn't care about sex.

Why do people introduce their husband / boyfriend as “my partner”? Why not just say husband or boyfriend?

For you guys that played the straight guy all of your lives but finally explored your bisexuality a little later in life, what did it feel like to finally give in to it? By that I mean not so much physically but also mentally and emotionally? What was the emotional experience when you finally kissed another man, wrapped your lips around a man’s hard cock, tasted his cum? What was going through your mind as you felt him side into you, felt your body move as another man mounted and fucked you?

Leading up to it, in the moment, or even the aftermath, what was giving into your craving, desire or even curiosity for intimacy with another man like?

So I'm a 23 year old virgin. Living in a conservative country and didn't really get a chance to explore until recently. I'm 184cm tall and 87 kg. I would say average/skinny looking with a little bit of stubborn belly fat that I'll hopefully get rid of soon.

So I'm going to Germany, Cologne on Sunday. I'll be staying there for 3 days. I think I'll finally lose my virginity there. I'm a bit picky and shy but at least I'll try to put myself out there. I also got PrEP and plan on using condoms if something happens so I think I'm prepared.

I was just searching what places I could visit and I've seen some nice gay bars and gay saunas. Also as I was looking trough the pictures, it was easier to imagine myself in a sauna than in a bar. Saunas seemed more relaxing and hot while bars more awkward to me. But I still plan to visit both.

I'm feeling both nervous and excited about this trip. Do y'all have any bar recommendations? What's the bar called Pullermanns like? And does anyone have any experience going to Phoenix and Babylon saunas and what's a good time to visit?

I'll start with a guy that I thought I was in love with, his girlfriend in middle school, but I really liked him and was unreasonably jealous. I guess when I really knew I was gay was when another one of my friends in 8th grade got a growth spurt and got amazing abs, and I couldn't stop staring or thinking about it when he showed me.

A good read and def helps if you’re a bit lost when it comes to cruising as I was

today ive totally realized my gaydar is broken or shitty.

ive been chatting with someone at work for the past month, and I always felt like i had a connection with him even if we barely have time to have full conversations. theyre always light but tend to have a ton of eye contact and a lot of times where it felt like we look for each other. for context, im gonna be a bit vague with where i work as its a big place but people talk. so, with my work its different to just have a co-worker who works with your company or a co-worker who works for a different one but under the same organization. thats what we are, co-workers for different companies but the same organization.

today, it felt a bit flirty which i was pleasantly surprised about. he came over to where i was working to help out a mutual we share and i yelled at him that i thought i heard him! conversation started from there and he was surprised i didn’t see him right away. typically if i see him i always immediate say hi first if he doesnt, but today i was preoccupied with stuff so i didn’t notice. anyways, it felt like he wanted me to notice him and say something, and he sounded disappointed i didn’t. obviously now, i realize this was probably friendly chatting but to be real none of my friends ever say things like that so it didnt really register in my head.

fast forward to after he left my area after helping, i find him in the break room. we chat a bunch about work & it was nice and i felt like we were clicking. then, while talking about work he mentions his girlfriend. oh! okay well, wasted time i suppose trying to figure out if he’s into men or not, evidently not. well, i don’t know that 100% but im not the type to want to intrude in a relationship or want to ask after finding that out.

anyways the point of this post was to vent about that and how i feel like my gaydar is shot. this is not the first time its happened to me where im clicking with someone then they have a girlfriend. such a frustrating experience, especially because i really enjoyed my conversations with this guy when they happened and also the fact that he’s super cute. wishing my gaydar wasn’t so broken, its such a disappointing feeling every time.

I'm not writing this to whine about how tragic my life is and how miserable I am, because it isn't. I quite like my life, which I unfortunately realized only quite recently. I'm writing this post mainly because I need to get these thoughts out of my head and what better place to start controversial discussions than Reddit?

Is it even possible for a chubby guy to date? I mean, it's hard enough to date exclusively as gay because we're a minority. And now there's the appearance, which doesn't fit the beauty standards. I don't think I'm chopped, but definitely not everyone is into bigger guys and that's perfectly fine. Don't get me wrong, preferences exist.

I'm 20, most of my friends have had multiple relationships, many of them are in committed relationships, they get engaged and married. I've never been in a romantic relationship - I mean it. No holding hands, no giggling until late, no cuddling, no kissing. I feel like I missed out on the best of my teenage years and never experienced 'teenage love'. I've had a few situationships that only deepen how I feel about it all. I just... have so much love to give, and yet I'm all alone. Last guy I was in love with, enter relationship with a girl after flirting with me for months. Is it really that impossible to find love in my case? Maybe I'm just unloveable; I'm sure some people aren't cut out for relationships. And that's fine I guess.

Finding people in queer community in my country is almost impossible. I'll be in London for a week soon - just passing through, and I was hoping I could hang out with someone there. I was even thinking about creating an account on dating app for this occasion, but it all brings me down and makes me think "what if". Because what if the only people I attract on the app are chasers? Or worse, what if I don't attract anyone, even the chasers? Maybe i'm just not attractive enough?

I don't know what to think anymore

Well, that's enough of the chaotic TED talk

I wish you all a good day, sorry to anyone who reads this

I'm 21yo and I've discovered recently that I'm into men way more than women, but because of the society I'm in I don't think it's going to be possible to express myself for the time being, so I've started to shave and dress feminine while I'm alone by borrowing some of my sister clothes, and even using my imagination and being able to ejaculate on myself and I've really enjoyed it and felt happy, but that's as far as I could go because even buying a dildo is impossible.

grindr is a place where you'll find ppl no matter where you live but I'm just scared in general, scared of the types of ppl I'm going to meet in such a society, scared of being exposed or threatened, scared of how much it would hurt etc.

I even found a good person, we talked, agreed on using protection which he will provide and everything, I left the house to go to him the next day, and when I needed just a few steps I backed out, went back to my house, and blocked him everywhere, and I genuinely felt bad about it.

.

So my question is, how can I get rid of this fear?

I tried stretching my hole to get rid of some of the fear or making myself crave it more, but I can't even get the necessary resources for that.

Should I just stop trying to express myself and live according to the social norms so I can live safely or keep trying despite it possible even ending up with my life being taken?

.

And before anyone calls me a coward, I know, I've always been a coward this is something that hardly changed, I'm able to communicate a little bit with randoms recently but that's all.

Welp haha am gonna stop trying to get myself out there an try keep busy. (Being fr btw ) honestly I do love myself but idk why I assumed to try this app😅

Going to a gay night club for the first time what should I expect and bring

Hey everyone alittle context here about me im a 20yo guy in england and my friend wants to take me to a clubbing for the first time next weekend. He suggested we go to a gay nightclub callef omg.

Ive only been comfortable with my sexuality and openly gay to close friends (not family or publically) for 4 months :)

Im not really all to sure what to expect, what the difference is and if there is a alot of gay people there as the first time I was asked it would have been 5 straight people and me, this will bw my first time actually talking to other gay people as im in the middle of no where. I'm neverous about how i should act and what its like

I [19M] have only ever been with women and its never gone well (you can probably guess why). ever since i found out i like dudes its been harder and harder not to think about them. Every night I go to bed holding my pillow imagining im cuddling with a guy. Every morning I wake up imagining that im waking up next to that same guy. Im so lonely and Ive been trying so hard to find someone but I just cant. I dont even care if its just online anymore Im just so full of love and I want someone to give it to, its driving me insane

lifes been really hard for me lately and ive had to deal with a lot of loss recently so that really amplified these feelings by a lot. just wanted to write out my frustration

I’ve been on Grindr for quite a while now. During that time I’ve changed my position more than once because I’m still figuring out who I am. I don’t even know if I’m completely gay yet. Part of me wants to embrace it, but something keeps holding me back.

When I first joined, I thought eventually I’d find someone I could genuinely be with instead of constantly ending up in strangers’ beds. Instead, things have only gotten worse. I’ve been rejected, ghosted after making plans, stood up without a single explanation, and manipulated into situations that left me feeling used. Over time, I’ve lost much of the excitement and hope I once had.

One thing I’ve learned is how quickly people judge. Many expect perfection before they’ve even exchanged a few words. Some only want slim guys. Some won’t even consider someone who doesn’t have their own place. I know Everyone has their preferences, and I respect that. But sometimes I wish people would stop for a moment and ask themselves, “Do you know how unfortunate some of us are? Do you know what someone else might be struggling with?”

Not all of us are slim. Not all of us are conventionally attractive. Not all of us have the privilege of owning a place or living independently. Not all of us were dealt the same hand in life.

I’ve cried more times than I can count, wondering what I’m missing. Wondering why I never seem to be enough. Wondering if the people who reject or use others have ever experienced this kind of loneliness. Maybe they haven’t. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to dismiss someone with a swipe or disappear without saying a word.

Feeling lonely is painful enough. Feeling disposable is even worse.

At this point People might ask why this affects me so deeply, or why I don’t simply change myself. The truth is, I’ve tried. I’ve tried transforming my body. I’ve tried building side hustles so I could become more independent and eventually have a place of my own. Many of those attempts failed. But I keep trying anyway. Each and Every setback teaches me something. Every time I fall, I learn a little more about myself and about the path I need to take.

So this isn’t a request for pity. It’s a request for empathy.

Please don’t judge people solely by what you see on a profile. Don’t underestimate someone’s worth because of their body, their circumstances, or what they can offer you at first glance. You don’t know what battles they’re fighting. You don’t know how difficult life has been for them.

We may not look like your ideal. We may not have everything figured out. We may not be perfect.

But we’re human.

We love. We hurt. We hope. We struggle. We dream.

We’re not asking to be chosen by everyone.

We’re simply asking to be treated like we matter.

Oh no! I mutilated myself! I cut off a ton of nerve endings! It doesn’t matter that *checks notes* my tight foreskin caused painful erections, put me at an increased risk of UTIs, and made it impossible for me to use condoms!

I didn’t even bother with stretching exercises! I got rid of an important body part with self lubricating abilities even though *checks notes* having severe phimosis makes the foreskin unable to lubricate effectively!

What a nightmare!*

(*this is all meant very sarcastically)