We have a 16 months old toddler, my wife is 2nd trimester pregnant with our second and she's miserable and moody, I have a stressful demanding job, no family around us to help out, a high energy dog.
How do I survive this?

So I have been a father now for about 2 and a half years to my daughter who i love very very much but im struggling so much with my own mental and everything im not sure what to do. I try my hardest for my family, work as much as I can, try to be around as best as I can but it feels like its never enough and I hit a breaking point again, its happened a few times over the past two and a half years.

Recently over the past few months I am constantly fighting with this creature who I should love but makes me want to jump off a bridge. Everything is "No, No, No" I have to fight her to do almost anything we need to do, I give her options, I give her rewards, I try to be a good father and try and give her autonomy over choices. I have taken as much parenting advice I can read to help and it gets me nowhere which causes me to become extremely angry and frustraited. I know this is "normal" but god i cant take it alot of the time, nothing makes sense, theres no logic, no reason... she doesnt have the brain power for somthing like those concepts yet but that fact doesnt give me any comfort it just makes me more frustraited.

I am the sole parent who puts my daughter to sleep for bed and for naps. (This is due to me and my wifes work schedule and how to make things fair for her) and when she doesnt sleep or nap my anger has overtaken me a few times because nothing makes me more upset than fighting that battle. Her failure to sleep means all my own tiny shread of free time vanishes, I cant spend time I promised with my friends, I cant take back the tiny tiny island of what life used to be like which I need for my mental when she refuses to sleep. When it happens I go to my wife to get her to take over so I can blow off steam which is usually punching the shit out of a bed in the other room and screaming into a pillow trying to vent all my anger away from family, though her taking over is already a fail state for the night and everything is ruined for the night anyway. However a few times like now it got out of control, 2 hours of neither of us being able to put her to sleep and I lost my temper... I know I shouldn't have, I know its wrong, im terrible for doing it but what's done is done... I stormed in a yelled at my daughter, I spanked her for not going to sleep, I knocked over a liquid by mistake and made a mess and the entire situation got me so angry I slamed my fist into the door... I feel horrid after, my wife crying, my daughter scared of me and HER trying to comfort my wife to stop crying... I feel like I shouldn't exsist anymore or never have to begin with I just dont know what to do. I apologized almost imidately and again 30 min later when we were alone, but the damage was dealt I cant take whats already done back, I want to stop being like this but I cant seem to contain or control my anger.

This isnt a frequent occurrence, last time somthing similar happened not to this extent was probably 10 months ago ish but the results and fallout is devistating, i desprately dont want to keep repeating my mistakes but its so hard. My father had anger issues and I hated him for it and didnt want to be like him, awesome I failed to prevent being like him. Im just so tiered and so stressed and feel so trapped and alone so often. Im fairly sure my wife hasn't really liked me for a long time but tolerates me because our daughter loves me (most of the time) and she cant provide for her alone... I know the first thing anyone who reads this is going to say "therapy" I dont know how to get that, I live in the middle of no where with no resources and dont have the money to pay for it. Driving to a town for paid therapy is simply not an option for us, my wife would have more problems with it than me due 1)cost and 2)it means she doesnt wind up getting time away from our daughter or a break. People will say online therapy but I dont know how to go about that without getting scammed or idk and again I worry about cost, its not somthing we can afford so I feel so trapped and im terrified to even bring it up to her, shes super against that sort of thing.

I dont know what to do, I feel so trapped and awful so often and I dont want to be like this but I am... anyone saying "figure it out" will just get ignored.. I just don't want to feel so alone and so awful

Raising my 6 yo daughter. Established standard possession order when she was only one. It's been mostly fine. Obviously some times she'd pout coming over to daddies house, but we've always worked through it and for the most part she's been a very sweet, happy baby and our relationship I thought was growing very well. I had lived with my parents the 1st 4 years of her life and then bought my own home. My parents were selling their home and lived with me for 6 momths so 1.5 years my daughter has stayed in my home without the grandparents around no problem. She even sleeps all by herself in her bed at my house now which she wasn't even doing at her mom's. We've been having a fun time. I bought a house on land, she has super cool things to do that she doesn't at her mom's. I work offshore so when I'm home I'm off work so I take her to do fun stuff all the time since I'm free. When I'm offshore she's taken care of by my parents during my time. I just got back home for summer and staying at my house had been rough on her. We though it was from her occasional constipation she gets cause the times she cried to go home she was constipated. So we go to my parents to try and make it easy and i stayed the night over there a few nights with her. Shes mostly been treating me like shit, being mean to her cousins and just not a joy to be around. I tried taking her back to my house after a few days thinking she just needs some time away from her cousins and back to her bed and toys. She had an insane meltdown when I tried. I'm talking Kicking, screaming, biting, she hurt my parents too, shouting she hated me, unbuckled her seat belt and ran back into my parents house. She's never done this before. My mom got her settled down and I told her I was taking her to her mom's house. After some silence I asked her if she'd come over to my house after a few days at mommies. She nodded no. I asked why and she said she didn't know why. The rest of the ride home she was very sweet to me, talking to me asking me about my new phone telling me that she wanted to go the Fun way to Mommy's, she let me pick her up and hold her when we got there and hug her she hugged me back she kissed me and we said goodbye. Like wtf!? I already know this is gonna happen if I try to get her to my house again. What is going on, what do I do? My parents said they've never seen me or my brothers act that way. My cousin's were staring at her meltdown like wtf and I'm sure they'd never do that either. This seriously came out of left field and was the most intense emotional breakdown I've seen from her or any child.