I wish this was satire.

Every quote is copied directly from emails she's sent me over the last few weeks. Sometimes I wonder if I'm overreacting...

Then I reread them.

It went on for six pages...🙄

I find myself doing this sometimes.
Both of my parents hit me and shamed me when I was growing up. Alcohol was always around in our house. My parents drank and fought.
Looking back, I often feel like I was my mother’s therapist rather than her daughter. When I was 12 years old, my mother showed me texts that my dad was sending to his mistress. She was crying and telling me how awful my dad was. The next day, they were together like nothing had happened, and I remember how confused I felt.
Even as an adult, my boundaries were constantly ignored. I could clearly ask my mother not to do something, and she would still do exactly what she wanted.
And yet, after all of this, I still sometimes question myself.
I wonder if maybe other families are like this too. Maybe other parents drink, fight, cross boundaries, and hurt their children, and somehow their children still maintain a relationship with them.
Maybe I’m too sensitive?

A lot of us fell victim to toxic family roles in which certain labels were forced upon you to meet your parents needs and then reality could not be addressed because they would only address you through that role.

However, does anyone else feel that something else is not being disclosed, such as some kind of secret that caused the role to be developed in the first place?

I'm curious if there are any only children who are estranged from parents that have no other support? No siblings or extended family. Do you have any plans to support your parent(s) as they age despite estrangement?

To give background, I am a 29F estranged child. My mother, who is an only-child, is also estranged from her mother. As my mother's parents are aging, with my grandma being disabled, the responsibility to care for them is falling on me.

As an estranged daughter, I objectively respect my mother's distance from her parents. Her mother was abusive to her and never took accountability. Mostly due to being on prescription medications and not remembering, but I've still told my grandma she should apologize to my mother and take accountability. She has not done so, but they are willing to provide financial support if my mother ever asks for it. My grandma was never abusive to me but I still give my mother the benefit-of-the-doubt and validated her experience.

My mom's childhood did a number on her, she ended up seeking love in men and ended up with 7 children by 4 men, never married, and a string of abusive relationships that continue today. My mother took me from my grandparents as a child and abandoned me at 5 years old, leaving me and 2 siblings with her boyfriend's family. I am the oldest, I grew up taking care of my siblings as well as being a servant girl to that family until I was 15 and went to live with my grandparents.

As an adult, I tried to help my mother but once I realized that I was enabling her to remain in an abusive relationship, allowing 5 of my siblings to also be abused, I began making police reports in 2016. Her current boyfriend has a powerful family, so the police never helped.

In 2024, my 14 yr old brother was pistol whipped and brutally attacked by mom's bf and they were removed from the home. I took them in until custody was given to their father. My mother alienated me from my siblings after this. She still takes no accountability, defends her boyfriend and denies his abuse despite photo and video evidence, etc. There is no way for me to safely have a relationship with her at this time. She continues smearing me and blaming me for everything, including the abuse of her children (very bizarre).

I spent my life taking care of my siblings, and trying to help her. With my siblings safe now, and one sister finished with college, I am finally able to focus on me. Except it just so happens that my grandparents are needing more support as they age and so I'm back in a caretaking role.

I love my grandparents, and I respect my mother's estrangement as an estranged daughter myself. But I can't help but feel like my mother left me to take care of her kids AND her parents. Like her responsibilities just fell on me in a way, and that's frustrating.

My grandparents also have my mother listed as Power of Attorney. It's basically going to be me doing the grunt work until they pass away, then mom will come parade around as the queen of the show and everything will go to her. I'm okay with that, I just wish I didn't have to deal with all of this responsibility and stress right now.

I wish my mother would do more to help them, especially since she's an only child and they have no other support besides me. But I know that's selfish since I understand her estrangement.

Please provide me with any thoughts? Is is okay for me to feel that she should help? Should I just suck it up and deal with it? Would you support your parents at all if this were the case?

I was honestly caught off guard by this.
I’ve been estranged from one of my parents for several years. I recently saw a psychiatrist because I was looking into anxiety/possible ADHD, and instead PTSD came up as a pretty significant possibility.

I always thought PTSD was something that happened after one major traumatic event, not something that could develop from years of childhood experiences.

For those of you who have been diagnosed:
Was it surprising?
What symptoms made your provider think PTSD?
Looking back, what made you realize they were right?
Did treatment actually help?

Not looking for anyone to diagnose me, just curious if anyone else had a similar experience because this wasn’t even on my radar.

He's never really been a good person, or a good dad. He is the source of much of my childhood trauma (alcoholic/violent home). We have gone over a year (regularly) without exchanging so much as a hello or small talk. Found out today he likely has serious prostate cancer. I always imagined finding out my parents getting ill or passing would be EASIER because I am not close to them, and have kept extremely low contact for my own mental health (they both really traumatized the hell out of me, no joke. I have been diagnosed with CPSD). But when I heard, I got kind of dizzy and started to tear up. Then got mad. Oscillating between sadness and anger. Does anyone have any insight/experience/words of wisdom? Thanks so much.

So I m only 2 months no contact with my mom. I tried to go no contact previously but was gilt tripped into continue communication again. There are bunch of childhood trauma that I still cant forgive her for, but most important even now she crosses boundaries. In general having her call me give me anxiety.

Anyways, I am trying to maintain contact with my dad, aunts, grandma (mom's side) etc. I don't live in the same city so i only have to rely on phone.

My dad has to sneak around to talk to me or leave a house (which can be difficult depends on weather and his health state) otherwise my mom will just walk in the room while we talking. take phone from my dad or just insert herself into conversation like if 2 months of no contact didnt even happen. I dont know what to do when it happens. Anybody encountered this?

And my grandma is old old. She cant figure out her phone so back in a days I had to rely on my mom to connect us. WHat do I do now?

It feels like im loosing rest of my family and the hometown(very small) just bcc I went no contact with my mom.

I had recently received some messages from my father "wanting to reconnect" which were just filled with him being the victim of my mother, and me never wanting to see his side and believing the lies she told me. I didn't respond "fast enough" and after several weeks he sent a message telling me I'm "unforgiving" and a hypocrite who just wants to "side with my mother"

The last time he "talked" to me was in 2016. He said we could get together for lunch and then went on about stuff in his life. Didn't really ask about mine. I told him my schedule. The lunch never happened (typical).

Years of inconsistent birthday messages. If I even got one. I reached out when his mom died. He ignored it. I was willing to have a relationship with him if it wasn't putting me back in the middle of his conflict with my mother. Before I could even work myself up to say anything he lost his mind over my pause. I've been working my way up to sending a response (basically: nope, not doing this) and then blocking.

Today I updated my profile picture on Facebook for the first time in years. He liked the picture. After talking to me like that in private mere weeks ago. Publicly he still gets to be the "supportive dad". And now I'm angry

Because now I realized this pattern has been going on for years. The private guilt trips and the public performance of care that doesn't go beyond an infrequent like and a happy birthday message. And I let that keep me trapped because if I remove him, then I feel like I'm being harsh because he gave me a microscopic crumb of care. Then I do look like the uncaring one to those who only see the outside.

How dare he berate me in private and perform care in public.

I'm hoping I can still go through with my message+block plan. Or at least one half of it! The freaking audacity.

I recently went no contact with my abusive adoptive parents. Yesterday my father went to my husband's work and handed him an envelope saying it was between parent and child. It was an itemized bill dating back upwards of 15 years ago while I was still in high-school.

My mother has 'detailed accounts on all of the children'. They are angry that I took away access to my children, but me? I dont matter to them.

He traveled 4 hours to hand my husband that because I refused to see him while my mom hid at the local mall.

Most recent purchase was the dirtbike I rode as a kid from them. But also the last time my parents took me out for supper.

Well I was confident, I said my piece, and now I have full confidence in not rekindling the relationship. She said 'I won't disagree with you' before or after saying that she would never have done what I said she did. When it came to something she couldn't deny outright (drinking 2-3 bottles of wine a night and crying to me about her life problems over the course of two years), she minimised it, said she was struggling, and that she had no clue it affected me. I wanted to just ask how she could possible think that would have no effect on me, but I knew that she was just... the same.

When I asked her why she thought I'd left, she said that she genuinely had no clue.

When I asked her if she'd sought help, or if she thought she didn't need help, or if she was against it, she started talking about physical medical issues and changed the subject.

She just told sob stories about all of the people she knows, and herself, and acted like nothing was wrong, which I'd told her earlier was one of the biggest issues in our family.

In short, she was just the same. I'm proud of how I handled the interaction, and now I know that there is no reason to rekindle the relationship. If she wants to change, she has the tools, she just has to choose to use them, but I refuse to ether make her or hang around while she doesn't.

He lost custody cuz of child abuse when I was 14 lol and I haven't had a conversation with him since. Not going to reply. He is a horrible person.

I just want to share. I had an ongoing conflict with my mom which started when she „came to the realization“ that my problems with her were caused by massive manipulation by my father and my grandparents. We all know the gist. She‘s the victim, everyone else is evil and mean and if I don’t see it the same way she does I don’t love her.

She’s not diagnosed but she’s moving somewhere on the line between borderline and narcissistic. So you can imagine my childhood. A ton of emotional abuse and manipulation (by her obvs), some physical abuse and also this weird kind of overstepping of bodily autonomy (I don’t know how to explain it in English, she kept cuddling me in the mornings in a weird way when I didn’t want it, telling me about her sexual relationships etc.).

I went nc 7 years ago but we found back to each other 3 years later. It has been fine, I moved 4 hours away, which helped a lot. I held most of my boundaries but still co-regulated her here and there and our relationship was healthier but I still had to do a lot of the emotional labour to keep it peaceful. Then I became a mom and after the initial happiness (first grandchild of my side) it started to crumble. My boundaries became clearer and I stopped the co-regulation. I realized our relationship was similar to that between a mother and a child but of course reversed. I didn’t have the energy to continue this cycle anymore.

Then her „revelation“ came and I simply said „no. I don’t want to talk about this with you.“ and „this is your perspective, mine differs. Let’s keep what we have but please respect my boundary“. Of course she didn’t. She kept pushing. I kept my boundary and told her about the consequences if she doesn’t stop. She didn’t. I told her I can’t tolerate the way she is handling this conflict. It became fundamental. It showed so incredibly clearly how my perspective and my feelings don’t have room next to hers. For her, they have to be the same or the relationship can’t work. So I said it doesn’t work then. I pleaded and asked her to please show me the tiniest amount of responsibility and accountability in our relationship. She said it’s all my decision and she doesn’t have the energy for it. So I decided. I didn’t invite her to my wedding. And I stated one last time, very clearly, what I needed from her, to be part of my life. That I am open to find a way but that there are things she has to change.

And now for the grand finale, her husband wrote a message. Incredibly cruel and mean and plain ugly. Calling me without character, calculating and without loyalty and thankfulness. I kind of expected something like this. But the words he chose hit me. That’s how they have been talking about me. Relationships always end this way with them, someday the other party suddenly is a horrible person. I think I hoped that this wouldn’t be the way they would handle conflict with me. But of course it is. Any other way and they would have to do some kind of reflecting. And that is something they are just not capable of.

Thank you for reading. I am sad and angry but also glad they showed their true faces. This whole conflict was written. There is no forgetting and no way to twist words. I am at least thankful for that.

I have never said to anyone mostly because i can’t really comprehend it, but I think I might have been SA’d by my dad (NC) and blocked it out? But there are also some things that did for sure happen and felt weird at the time. So for context, my parents neglected me and were using drugs/alcohol more often than not. And also a lot of random men were passing through the home and in my bedroom if they really wanted to.

In my early childhood, something just feels wrong. I can’t describe it but something about my dad and I feels wrong, we were VERY close and spent a lot of time together one on one. In my later childhood maybe 10-12 I remember there being a few occasions where I was sitting on his lap for whatever reason, in a busy room sometimes: sometimes he was drunk sometimes not; and he would brush over my genital area more than once. I would feel startled and get up but it was never addressed. I just removed myself from the situation and wondered if I was the one making it weird but it happened too many times to be an accident, on more than one occasion. That was all that ever happened but I wonder if something did indeed happen when I was younger and I’ve blocked it out. Surely that’s too weird to accidentally do to your child? I asked my sister (now NC) before if she felt like she was abused or something happened to her when she was younger and that she’d blocked the details out and she said yes. Unfortunately if it wasn’t my dad, there would have been opportunities for it to be any of these random men that were in close proximity to us ..

I don’t know what I want to get out of posting this, I guess just posting it makes me come to terms with it. And if anyone has experienced similar. I feel like I’ve gaslighted myself into believing I’m making it something it’s not.

Thank you

For context I only ever had one friend who I was allowed sleepovers with while growing up but they were heavily monitored. Now as an adult I've only ever had sleepovers with room mates cause of course, they're right there, I have no choice, or a renter nearby. I want more sleepovers that I choose. How do you all go through the process or vetting and trusting folk?

I (31NB) have blocked Mom (61F) and I’m on the fence because I’m the only person she’ll allow near her. She is a physician, and she drives me nuts. We’re in the States.

She’s not in her right mind (untreated PPD manifesting into religious paranoia) and she makes terrible financial decisions - currently has -$350 in her checking account that she uses for bills. Her house (and its maintenance) is too big and expensive for just her and 2 cats. She had to borrow thousands of dollars from friends and family to stay afloat whenever the end of the pay period comes around, because she usually overdrafts.

* I would occasionally go and check on the cats and her AC/HVAC system is broken; it’s 88-90 degrees F in the house. Home warranty company says it will cost $5k for a new one, which she doesn’t have.

* She was behind on her electric bill last year, and they shut off her power in September. So from September to early December of last year, she didn’t have power. (my sister and I paid the past due balance of $3,000 to have it restored, when my sister is a med student who doesn’t have much money.) Her basement flooded, as it’s prone to do, and the entire place was covered in mold. My husband and I had to pay $14,000 of our own money to pay the remediation company, owned by a family friend.

* She was a transplant patient in 2013 and has taken anti-rejection medication since. One month in 2023 she decided not to based on “faith healing” (“Jesus took my sickness on the cross, Jesus didn’t have transplant meds and neither do I”) and ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. The medical team tried to convince her to take her medication, but she said that she didn’t want to “claim the medication as hers”. Medical team kept asking me and my younger sister if she would take her meds if we let them discharge her. I wasn’t convinced, and my sister had to drive down from medical school just to berate Mom in the hospital into listening.

* anytime that my sister and I have any physical sickness, she will claim that we don’t have it, and not listen to our needs when we say that we don’t feel well. She herself refuses to go to her physician for a check up, and hasn’t been in over a year. Her physician is our family friend, and I convinced him to do a house call on her because she refuses to come in.

* she got in trouble at work for using faith healing on her patients instead of doing her job.

* recently, I suffered a pregnancy loss. It was my first pregnancy, and she denied that it was happening. She said that I have to state out loud that it’s not happening so that it won’t happen. Everyone else in my life has given me sympathy and understanding, and she’s just giving me denial.

After this last event, I decided to block her. She went over to my mother-in-law’s house, looking for me, and she was surprised that I hadn’t talked to her in a week. She called my husband, who told her that I was feeling overwhelmed and needed some space.

She’s the kind of person who will call several times a day to check up on me, and while I don’t disagree with the idea of a mother checking up on their child, she just does it to an unhelpful degree.

I admit, ghosting her probably caused a panic attack and I didn’t want to do that. I can apologize for that, but I really really don’t want her in my life right now.

That being said, she needs a check up. She has occasional coughs and headaches and just tries to pray them away and pretend there’s no problem. I convinced our family friend to make that house call, and I think he wanted me to go with him to her house. I don’t know if I should, I don’t want to, but I don’t see another way to get this done if I don’t.

Do our parents even like us?

I'll try to keep this short. I just feel really hurt right now.

My husband died recently and after he died, some of my in-laws acted really badly. (Think Nollywood in-laws after a husband dies). I ended up going no contact with them for the sake of my mental health. My parents are fully aware of everything that happened and my decision to go no contact.

Now my sister is getting married soon. Because I know how my mum thinks (what will people say etc), I asked her not to invite them to the wedding, citing the hurt they'd caused and how their presence would affect my ability to enjoy the wedding. She insisted that they must be invited, I should stop holding grudges and that they won't start a fight at the wedding, so I should get over it.

My sister told me she didn't want them at her wedding and I thought that would be the end of it. She doesn't have a relationship with them, the event is already over capacity, and they've never invited my side of the family to their events. Also my sister and her fiancé are covering most of the costs themselves. You'd think that would be enough for my folks to drop it, but no.

They turned their attention to my sister, said she was picking sides and that she didn't care about them (my parents) which is why she was saying no to the invitation. When she referenced the trauma they'd caused me, my parents response was along the lines of "ignore her (ie me), she's always causing trouble", and continued to harass my sister. My other siblings got involved and they also said no, but still my parents persisted. It got to the point where I told them point blank that it was heartbreaking that they would choose appearances and "what will people say", over protecting their child. They acted like I said nothing and continued to talk like I wasn't there.

They would lose absolutely nothing by not inviting them, but cause me pain if they do. I'm ND. I can't mask or pretend or ignore. If the in-laws are at the wedding, I can't be there. They're happy to have the wedding without me, just so they can look good to other people. And later they'll say they love me? How? I would never do that to my child.

Am I overreacting?

I haven’t spoke or seen my father since I was about 13/14 . i used to get forced to spend saturdays and sundays with him, for some reason idk y but I hated it . I never liked being around him I didn’t like spending time with him, he would take me fishing and to arcades but still there was something about him I didn’t like I really am curious as to what I was. , back story my mom decided to leave him when I was 2 ,because of his drinking alcohol and selling weed . I didn’t know any of this until I was in my 20s, I just always disliked having to spend time with him. So when I was 13/14 I told him straight to his face because my mom got tired of dealing with me unplugging the wall phone and stuff so that when he called it wouldn’t ring so I wouldn’t have to see him that day . My mom told me to tell my father that you don’t want to spend time with him anymore . So I did , and never saw him again , it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders . I never really thought of him in my 20s not even once lol. but when I reached my thirties I would like to send him texts about how I was feeling as a kid . because he thought I didn’t want to spend time with him because he thought my mom and grandparents brainwashed me or something, when in reality they would force me to go see him. I guess he coulent understand what he did , and he didn’t do anything physically abusive. but driving around drunk and high with your son in the car looking back at it he deserved not to see his son. my mom never had him pay child support either because she knew he wouldn’t pay it all and end up in county jail (smdh) long story short . My mom got a call yesterday from a police department across town that the mfer finally died , sad thing is he has no family ,even his own brother doesnt talk to him but his brother has a serious alcoholic issue as well. that entire family is strange . Anyway I’m just sitting back and waiting for whatever I can get from his estate because it all goes to me lol , he had no other children and never re married and had no will . cha Ching cha Ching . unfortunately though I think the loser had nothing left after probably 6 or 7 ‘s at 67 he didn’t even own a car because I do t think I think his license was suspended (atleast he is out of his misery ) I’m doing great in life now tho. right now I feel like a natural high tho. Its like a lighter feeling I feel . and I didn’t even see or speak to the man in over 20 years lol . apparently he passed away from becoming septic after not going to dr for a sinus infection and having a compromised immune system. it’s sad he died all alone. but that’s how we all die if you think about it all alone. I kinda feel sorry for him , that must have been a horrible life he lived.

I'm 28F, I got diagnosed with autism a month ago. I grew emotionally attached to alot of my toys, especially with my plushies.

I went no contact with my mom 4 months ago, and she has all of my childhood toys. I don't even know why, she left my dad 3 years ago and took our childhood toys with her. I've always had plans of passing my toys down to my kids, but now that we're no contact... its hard to say. I live in a small apartment, I don't have plans for kids any time soon. I just have to accept to let it go.

Hey, everyone, I really need advice. Tldr; I was gonna buy my grandparents apartment last year but my aunt backed out of the agreement because she wanted to sell it a few years down the road for more money. I needed an apartment because my living situation wasn't great, but she didn't care. Now she wants to talk about it and make up with me.

Last year was very difficult to me and my husband, to say the least. We were roommates with my narcissistic brother and we were saving money to buy an apartment, but as many people know, buying an apartment in this economy is hardddd. So, my mom talked to me, my husband and my aunt and she came up with a plan of us buying my grandparents apartment because my grandmother was living with my aunt and her family, and in the next few months she was gonna go live in an assisted living facility. We were gonna give a down payment, we were gonna give them all that we could get for a loan, and then we'd pay the difference in smaller installments, we only had to wait for September because that's when the renters' contract was going to end.

That conversation happened around February, then in May, my brother and I had the worst argument of my adult life, he insulted me, and went around the house slamming doors and yelling. I was really scared, so my husband and I moved in with my father in law, keeping in mind that it was gonna be a temporary arrangement since we'd get our apartment in September.

Anyways, June rolls around, and my mom told me we should have a sit down with my aunt to iron out all the details and see what we could do because since my grandma has Alzheimer's, she can't attest to selling her apartment with a sound mind, so we'd have to make a civil contract where we'd pay my aunt monthly what we'd pay for the mortgage and of course, we'd take care of all the repairs because it was going to be our home, even if not on paper yet. However, my aunt came saying "it's not okay to sell the house without my mom's permission" which was weird because 1) my grandma hadn't lived in that apartment for 6 years by then (she couldn't live alone due to her condition); 2) if that was an issue, she could have voiced it when my mom first suggested that plan in February; 3) Her "solution" was renting that apartment to us and then maybe, when my grandma passes away, selling it at full price, either to us or to somebody else. And when my mom started pushing her for the real reason she was going back on her word, she finally said "I have to protect my inheritance and the value of that property".

I was heartbroken for many reasons, I grew up in that apartment and I was excited to have my kids grow up there, we were living in a less than perfect situation because we thought it was gonna be temporary, we were gonna have to go up against the real estate market and maybe have to move to another city hours away… but the worst of all was that my aunt, who I considered my second mother all my life, showed me that she valued imaginary money more than me. I say imaginary because even though I love that apartment, it's far from perfect, it's 50 years old, it's never gone through remodeling, it's not in the safest part of town and there are not that many options of public transportation, so, realistically, she wouldn't have lost her inheritance at all.

Anyways, my husband and I searched high and low for another apartment, I found one that I didn't love, but that was okay, and we were able to move in last October (yay!). But later that November, my aunt moved my grandma into an assisted living facility, and she let my mom know three days prior, because she wanted to have a small family reunion in honor of my grandma; obviously nobody could make it, and my mom asked her, "is it really necessary for my mom to go in next monday? Do you think it could wait one week so we could go?" And my aunt never replied, but by Monday she took my grandma to her new place. In my culture it's not common to have the elderly in assisted living facilities, so it was painful for both my mom and I to not have been able to say goodbye (we still see my grandma on the weekends, but idk, it wasn't ideal).

Which brings us to last Sunday:

My aunt texted me saying that she had spoken to my mom and she told her that I'm doing well in my job and that she's really happy for me, but that she misses me and doesn't like the distance that there's between us. She asked me what I want to do for my birthday (it's less than two weeks away) and that we should talk over coffee or smth. She said she loves me.

I haven't been able to text her back, every time I'm about to start, I just… can't. I didn't want to deal with this anymore, and I just wanted to pretend it never happened and that we'd just drifted away, but now I have to have a conversation about how what she did hurt my feelings, but I feel like what's the point???

Idk. Do you have any advice? :(

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/relationships/are-therapists-to-blame-for-the-rise-of-adults-cutting-off-their-parents-d08f6d69?st=TDmwEv&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

Hey, I'm a minor, which... kind of defeats the purpose of posting here, but i didn't know where else to go, so I hope this is okay. I'm a 16 year old AFAB teen, and I have my father, who I currently have complicated feelings about.

For context before I get into the problems I currently have, my parents aren't together. My dad is currently on the road. For as long as I can remember though whenever my parents broke it off, was that we'd call my dad every night. When I got a phone, which is about three years ago now, I would text him and he'd text me.

Recently, I have gotten GERD, and it ruined my life for a good several months. Got pulled out of school, barely able to visit anyone as doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with me, that sort of thing. I ended up isolating myself from everyone around me. Friends, family, I just ended up not texting anyone, including my father, and I'd purposefully avoid calling him. He did not like this. Not at all.

I understand what I did was wrong, I should've called my own damn dad, but it was really hard for me, and since I've gotten somewhat better, I've been finding it challenging to figure out how to just talk to him again, without being terrified of his response. He's not exactly a very forgiving man, and he isn't very understanding either. He recently blocked me because I 'didn't text him enough'. I didn't answer. Then my birthday rolled around and he's gotten me a gift. It feels so conflicting for all this shit to happen. On one hand, I know he genuinely does love me, on the other, he's been awful towards me, my younger siblings, and my mother.

Before I even got GERD, when we called him, sometimes he'd literally be on a different app talking to others when we were talking to him, and he wouldn't be listening. He got upset at us for not calling him every night, when he's never called us once on his own. I set his name on my phone to something silly, and he got pissed when my siblings called it out, making me feel guilty over something so small. He's made my siblings cry, never apologizing for doing so.

In the past, when we lived with him, we'd walk eggshells, pushed to be on electronics, yet he'd want to control that too. He's done not so good things to our last dog, which I still can't talk about in detail without tearing up.

The thing is, despite that all, I know he loves me. He was really sweet at times. I just don't know what to do. Do I block him? Fully cut him off as much as I can as a 16yr old? I would just really appreciate some advice, please. I just want to cry over this whole thing.

I also figure it'd be helpful to just share a few texts he's sent me as well.

TLDR; dad's upset I didn't call him everynight and text him, he blocked me, and now I don't know what to do, send help.

Edit: Thank you all for the advice and support I cannot express just how grateful I am you all have a great day <3

I don't know if the pages have uploaded in the correct order.

Very brief backstory:

My brother: very physically violent (think constant threat), emotionally abusive, hairpin trigger.

My mum: enabler

My dad: emotionally abusive (would shout at me to get my shit together if I had a panic attack, you cannot fuck up otherwise the world will end)

All 3 are always right

I set boundaries to keep my child safe: please stop being homophobic, racist, misogynistic etc etc... this letter was the reply.

My dad couldn't use my daughter's new name because she came out as non-binary and he had a hissy fit.

He didn't believe my autism diagnosis but was eager to use it against me.

He uses my therapy as an excuse to tell other people that I'm unwell.

My dad was an alcoholic, my mum was aggressive. No one stopped my brother trying to kill me. It was my fault for 'winding him up'... I ate my crisps too loudly once.

They claim they've treated us fairly, they have in fact given him at least 3 vehicles and saved up his rent money to give it back to him. They kept my rent.

Granddaughter 1 is my daughter (fucking legend)

Granddaughter 2 is my brother's daughter, he has been abusive to her (she's had to hide in cupboards to avoid him)

Granddaughter 3 is my brother's daughter (his favorite)

Brothers ex: he abused her, we've spoken at length and understand the reality of who he is.

Please tell me what you think.

My mum is in her final year of cancer. I'm thinking of cutting contact completely.

please tell me if i am over-reacting by going no contact - it’s not possible for me to explain EVERYTHING that happened throughout my childhood/early adulthood, but i summarized the key-situations that led to me going NC. there’s also a lot that happened after that, but this entry will be long as is. i really appreciate your time and opinion.. this subreddit has given me a lot of strength. the decision to go NC comes with a lot guilt - although i have worked hard on that, sometimes i still need the validation from others.

my story:

I am a 28 year old woman living in Germany but from a turkish family. I have had no contact with my mother and my sister for approximately one year. I had no contact with my father for five months, and since then our contact has been limited and occasional.
From a young age, I was frequently yelled at over small things. I grew up in an environment where I often felt afraid of my parents’ reactions. My younger sister, who is five years younger than me, was treated differently from me.
When I was 12 years old, I attempted suicide for the first time by taking an overdose of medication. I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. The first thing my father said to me afterwards was: “I don’t think I made a mistake.”
When I was 15 or 16 years old, I attempted suicide again by taking an overdose of medication. At that time, my mother refused to take me to the hospital because she said: “Otherwise they will take you away from me and I will look like a bad mother.”
The reason this happened was connected to my school situation. I had been skipping school, but I was not going anywhere else. I stayed at home because I was being severely bullied at school. My parents knew about the bullying and knew why I was struggling with attending school.
I had isolated myself socially because the problems at home had become so overwhelming that I did not have the emotional capacity for friendships or social connections. The bullying at school also developed partly because I had withdrawn and become isolated.
I wanted to change schools because of the bullying, but my parents refused. They believed that changing schools was only an excuse to drop out. They told me that if I stopped attending that school, they would make me work as a cleaner.
My mother believed that I was skipping school because I was meeting boys and having sexual relationships. While I was still heavily affected by the overdose, she pulled my hair, screamed at me, told me that if I wanted to die, I should just die, and threatened to take me to a doctor for a virginity examination because she believed I had been sexually active.
The following day, I was still impaired from the medication. My parents called me into the living room. My father slapped me three times across the face. Afterwards, he left the room crying. My mother followed him and comforted him, telling me that I should be ashamed for making my father react that way.
Throughout my teenage years, I was not allowed much freedom. I was rarely allowed to meet friends or go out. When I did go out, my parents repeatedly called me, questioned me, and demanded that I come home, even though I was always reachable.
Until I moved out at the age of 23, I experienced frequent insults and silent treatment as a form of punishment.
When I was 22, I started a relationship with my boyfriend. This became a major conflict within my family. My family is conservative, and my mother did not want my father to know about my relationship. Because of this, I told my father that I was meeting friends when I was actually spending time with my boyfriend.
On one occasion, I met my boyfriend in the city to have dinner. My mother and sister repeatedly called me and demanded that I come home. There was no emergency, but my mother often reacted very intensely to situations. During the short time I was outside, I received around 15 messages and several phone calls telling me to return home.
When I arrived back near my home, I saw my mother and sister waiting outside the building. They both shouted at me. My mother insulted me and called me names, including “slut” and “disrespectul and problematic.” My sister told me that I was ruining the entire family. I had only been out for dinner with my boyfriend.
At the age of 23, I moved to another city. On my last day in my hometown, I packed my belongings alone while crying. Nobody offered support or helped me emotionally. On the day of the move, my mother refused to come because I wanted my boyfriend to be present and help me.
Two years later, when my boyfriend and I decided to move in together, this caused another major conflict. My parents called me between 10 and 20 times per day. They also involved other family members, who contacted me and sent messages telling me not to create problems and that I should understand my parents.
My sister was also involved, as was my former best friend. They sent me messages telling me that I was causing problems and that I should consider my parents’ perspective.
During this time, my mother repeatedly used my father’s health problems and heart condition to put pressure on me. She told me things such as: “We are at the hospital. He had a heart attack because of you. If he dies, it will be your fault.” She also told me that my boyfriend would leave me and said: “I would never treat my own mother this way.”
The situation became so overwhelming that I voluntarily admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital.
When my parents found out, they wanted to come and see me. I told them on the phone that I did not want visitors and that I needed time alone. I asked them repeatedly to give me some space. Their response was: “At least don’t do this to us.”
I was discharged about one week later and informed my family through a message. I did not receive support or a response from most of them. My mother responded by telling me that I should be ashamed for blaming them for everything. I had never told them that they were responsible for everything.
After these events and many years of similar experiences, I decided to end contact with my mother and sister. My contact with my father also stopped for several months and has since only been occasional.

Hi friends,

Has anyone else gone no contact with their parent(s) because they trafficked you as a child?

My mom sent me to a "troubled youth" ranch when I was 12 years old, and I didn't leave until I graduated high school. This was a working cattle ranch, and almost all my time there (outside of school, sleeping, and church) was spent doing hard, physical labor. There were no breaks, no choices, and no pay. The environment was also psychologically and physically abusive. This was almost 20 years ago, but it's always on my mind.

Now, as an adult, I look back and realize that the owners of this ranch were incredibly wealthy based on the things they could afford to do/own. Their only source of income was the ranch, so now I see that they were using the kids to work the ranch for their direct profit. I'm pretty sure this is the exact definition of human trafficking...

I've been NC with my mom for about 5 years now, and was working on reconciliation because she's apparently done a lot of work on herself in that time. However, after this realization, I don't think I can have anything to do with her ever again. What kind of monster would send their kid to traffickers just so they could have the house to themselves? I constantly told her how awful it was, how abuse it was, and how miserable I was there. All she did was rat me out to the ranch to get me in trouble.

Is anyone else going through this or something similar? I'd love to get some other opinions on this from like-minded people...