\​

Hi everyone,

I'm a 29-year-old woman, and I've never really been in a healthy romantic relationship.

The only experience I had ended up being traumatic. I was sexually assaulted, my feelings were manipulated, and I was ultimately betrayed. It took me a long time to heal from that, and since then, I haven't been in a relationship.

Right now, I'm a medical student. I spend most of my time studying, and because I started university later than most people, my classmates are noticeably younger than I am. Between my schedule and my circumstances, I honestly don't know where or how to meet someone who's looking for a serious, long-term relationship and whose lifestyle is compatible with mine.

I'm not interested in casual dating. I'm hoping to build a genuine relationship with someone who wants a future together.

For those of you who found your partner later in life, where did you meet them? What would you recommend to someone in my situation?

Lately, the loneliness has been really hard, and I'd truly appreciate any advice or personal experiences.

Thank you for reading.

Hi guys! I (23F) haven't been on a date in years, and this is the first time I've arranged a date with a guy through a dating app. I matched with several guys, and I got along well with three of them. Because I'm introverted and afraid of communicating with unfamiliar people, I hoped to find a guy with whom I could share more common interests. That way, I wouldn't be too worried about an awkward atmosphere in person. I used AccioWorks to analyze their Instagram accounts and found the guy I've decided to date.

We have many shared interests, and he seems to have the kind of looks I like. He's 26, listens attentively, and has a good sense of humor. After chatting for a few days, we decided to meet for the first time at a coffee shop. But now that the date is getting closer, I'm starting to get anxious. I'm worried that I'm not his type in real life, and I'm also afraid that the feeling won't be the same after we meet. I want to focus on getting to know each other, rather than just thinking about how to make him like me. For those of you who have used dating apps, how did you relieve nervousness before your first meeting?

I(24m) never tried dating or literally anything due to issues with family. But now on my own, is it too late to try and start dating with absolutely no experience?

The title is a bummer, I know.

For a little over 3 years I dealt with a casual dating situation that evolved into stalking. As a result there was several months of legal fallout and stress. Lots of tears and paranoia.

It's been difficult to get back out there. Online dating doesn't seem like an option, as I'm always worried the stalker will come up on my page (still living in the city where the incident happened). I feel like my brain knows that not all men will become violent, but I'm still hesitant to try.

I stopped dating all together for a few years, which honestly felt amazing. Peaceful even. But now I'm starting to get a little romantically lonely.

Any suggestions for dating safely after all the drama?

Around a year and a half ago me and my girlfriend of 8 years broke up. The breakup wasn’t initiated by me at all and it has taken a huge toll on me. I still think about her everyday and I think it’s mostly because she ghosted me and I was never able to get any closure whatsoever. We were pretty codependent towards the end and honestly for the last few years of our relationship we only ever saw each other and it was extremely rare for us to hang out with anyone. Slowly I started growing apart from all my friendships, relationships and family. After we broke up I lost any mutual friends we had which was tough. I also lost the majority of my longtime friends (they just ignore all my calls and texts). I don’t even have someone to talk to about this because everyone is gone. I am done with school and out of college. I work a 9-5 full time job and my car was totaled in an accident a few months ago. I have no idea where to start with finding new friends or even a new partner. I have been trying dating apps but I think most people just use them for self esteem (i have yet to meet someone in person even though i always get matches). The loneliness is starting to become unbearable and some days I feel entirely hopeless. How should I meet new friends or possibly a new girlfriend? Any advice or suggestions would greatly help me out and I would really appreciate it. Sorry this is so long, I have never been able to talk about this before with anyone and I thought I would take a chance and post on this sub. Thank you in advance ❤️

Hey everyone!
I’m a bit new to making posts like this, but I wanted to ask for some advice.
I’m a 26-year-old woman who’s never been in a relationship. I’ve tried dating apps on and off for years, but they’ve never really led anywhere, so I’ve decided they’re just not for me.
Most of my time is spent either at work or at home, which makes it hard to meet new people. I do want to date and eventually find a relationship, but I honestly don’t know where to start anymore.
For anyone who’s been in a similar situation, or who met their partner outside of dating apps, I’d really appreciate hearing your story or any advice you have. How did you meet people? What worked for you?
Thank you so much!

Btw all of this actually happened i am not joking about any of these
okay so im 17 and hes 19
i didnt want 6 kids and he said I had a bad mindset and he was so upset that he said he wanted to body slam me and then he ignored me for a bit
I did a loyalty test on him (i know its wrong but hes my first rls and he was moving weird so yk) and he said he was down to meet up with her after they got to know each-other. He then told me that he was trolling with his friends
ghosted me for four days and lied that he got shot
says his type is curly haired girls but once shes not overly dark
says the n word a lot
lied about how many girls he talked to
lies about small stuff
is really mean to me
doesnt ask my questions about myself
makes jokes about talking to other girls
follows a lot of girls from his city
I dont have a good rls with my parents and he blamed me
Lied that he got shot when in actuality his ex texted him and said that she misses him
his friends are mean ppl okay so im 17 and hes 19
i didnt want 6 kids and he said I had a bad mindset and he was so upset that he said he wanted to body slam me and then he ignored me for a bit
I did a loyalty test on him (i know its wrong but hes my first rls and he was moving weird so yk) and he said he was down to meet up with her after they got to know each-other. He then told me that he was trolling with his friends
ghosted me for four days and lied that he got shot
says his type is curly haired girls but once shes not overly dark
says the n word a lot
lied about how many girls he talked to
lies about small stuff
is really mean to me
doesnt ask my questions about myself
makes jokes about talking to other girls
follows a lot of girls from his city
I dont have a good rls with my parents and he blamed me
Lied that he got shot when in actuality his ex texted him and said that she misses him
his friends are mean ppl

heyyy, I have no hope not only am I ugly but also like loud and alt and weird, and I think I scare everyone off, all thesis boys just are lazy who don’t plan dates or anything, and I have opeanly said my love language is gifts , I have not once gotten a gift. I have dated three guys and yeah all bad. so where did the good guys go? do guys ask girls? do u just need to wait more. no one seems to see the little things or wants to be weird woth me.

(mind you I learn there love languages and help with whatever and I always bring gifts , at this point there no hope)

I've been looking at a few dating platforms that are supposed to be geared toward long-term relationships, and Elite Singles is one that comes up pretty often. From the outside, it sounds like it's aimed at people who are interested in something more serious, but it's hard to tell whether that matches what users actually experience once they join.

I'm not expecting any dating app to be perfect, but I'd rather spend my time on one where people are genuinely interested in building a relationship instead of endlessly matching without much conversation. Before creating another profile, I'd like to hear from people who've actually used it rather than relying on advertisements or comparison websites.

If you've tried Elite Singles recently, what stood out to you? Did it feel different from the larger dating apps, or did the experience end up being pretty much the same?

I was reading through a few dating discussions recently and noticed the word "tryst" come up more than once. I have a rough idea of what it means, but I'm not sure how people are actually using it these days. Sometimes it seems like they're talking about a casual hookup, while other times it sounds more like a secret relationship or something in between.

Language around dating changes all the time, so I wasn't sure if this was one of those words that's taken on a different meaning depending on the context. Rather than guessing, I figured I'd ask people who've seen it used more often.

When someone says "tryst," what do you usually take it to mean? Is there a common understanding, or does it depend entirely on the situation?

Hi everyone!

I’m meeting someone for the first time soon, and honestly, kinakabahan ako. 😭

This will be my first time going on a meet-up/date after my breakup 4 months ago from a long-term relationship, so I feel like I’m starting from zero again.

Any advice?

• What are your do’s and don’ts for a first meet-up?
• Any green flags or red flags I should watch out for?
• How do you avoid making things awkward?
• And how do you know if the vibe is genuinely there or if you’re just excited because it’s someone new?

I’m not rushing into another relationship. I just want to enjoy getting to know someone again and hopefully have a good experience.

Would love to hear your tips and experiences. 😊

I've realized that people can have completely different definitions of what counts as cheating, and that's made me wonder how much of it comes down to personal boundaries instead of there being one universal answer. For some couples it's only physical cheating, while others consider emotional connections, secret conversations, or certain online interactions to cross the line too.

It seems like a lot of relationship problems start because both people assume they're on the same page without ever actually talking about it. Something that feels harmless to one person might be a major breach of trust to someone else, and by the time that difference comes up, someone's feelings usually end up getting hurt. I'm curious how other people approach this. What behaviors would you consider infidelity in a relationship, and are there any gray areas where you think it really depends on the couple?

And before anyone gets pressed if you're just there for casual fun and everyone's on the same page, you do you. No judgment. But for those of us actually hoping to meet someone real? It's exhausting. Some guys don't even wanna know your last name before asking, "So when can I come over?" Like bro, you don't even know what music I listen to or how I take my coffee. I'm not against sex at all. I just want it to happen with someone who's actually interested in me, not just what I can offer for one night. I'm a person, not a late-night delivery service you can summon with a few taps on an app. The bare minimum is acting like I'm worth getting to know first.

As an introverted guy in my late 20s, I’m finding the prospect a bit intimidating, especially navigating dating culture in Germany. People here value personal space (which I completely respect), but it makes cold approaches in public spaces feel a bit unnatural compared to other places.
For anyone who took a long break from dating in their 20s:

1. How did you ease back into it without getting overwhelmed or burnt out?
2. What date ideas or environments worked best for you as an introvert?
3. Any mindset tips for getting over the initial "clunkiness" of dating again?

Appreciate any tips or shared experiences!

This survey is for women 18+ to determine the impact of context on dating preferences

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgxjHwHqIx5aE45BiGoqTlwBiCI7CNuf3xq5U4MJx5y6zuaw/viewform?usp=dialog

One of the biggest mistakes I see in modern dating is assuming chemistry is enough.

Chemistry can create excitement.

But **clarity creates security.**

It’s much kinder to know early that two people want different things than to discover it months later.

That’s why I believe one of the most attractive qualities isn’t confidence…

It’s clarity.

Clarity about your intentions.

Clarity about your values.

Clarity about the kind of relationship you’re hoping to build.

The right person won’t be scared away by your honesty.
They’ll be relieved by it.

That’s one of the principles behind what I’m building with **Vetted**.

I don’t think dating apps should simply help us meet more people.

I think they should help us meet people with greater clarity about what they’re truly looking for.

**Question:**
What’s more important to you when dating today—chemistry or clarity?

After matching, she gave an enthusiastic opening message, I responded in-kind with prompts from her profile, this 27-year-old woman offers her phone number (‘gets overwhelmed by the apps’) & it ends here. Not surprised but still BAFFLED… why take the time to create an account, upload photos, verify your identity, send/receive likes, when you’re dizzy? Who is putting a gun to those individuals’ heads, prompting them to waste intentional folks’ time? Why not just stay OFF the apps?

Doesn’t matter if I ask them out in 5 messages or after 5 days… I can be as flirty or strait laced and they all disappear when it comes down to making plans. 34m asking out women 25-55. All profiles have either LTR AND/or something casual listed on it.