Long story short, my mom's dog was terminal. She had a stark decline this morning - the same morning my mom (who's in her 70s) had back surgery. I had to take the sweet girl in and stayed with her as she took her last breaths. She's always been attached to me over the years, straight up ignoring my mom when I'd come over.
I've been sobbing all day.
When she wasn't feeling well, I'd lie on the floor for hours with her.
For YEARS, I'd visit my mom and see something wasn't right with her baby. I kept telling her she needed to call the vet. She claimed she would, then never did. I'd have to make vet appointments for her dog, then be on her to make sure she'd ACTUALLY take her to the vet. Well, about a month ago, she started being picky about her food.
This is a dog who would eat anything that's edible. I kept telling my mom that's not normal and she needs to go in. FINALLY, she took her in. Come to find out, she had growths on her kidnies and liver and there was nothing they could do. They just said to keep her comfortable.
She started staying with me constantly. She'd be on the couch with me, in the living room with me, just always wanting me there because I'd console her. So today, while my mom's having surgery, she's joking with the doctors that her "dog's dying," like it's not an issue. I flat-out told her that Bonnie (furbaby) wouldn't be there when she comes home. When I got to the house, Bonnie hadn't moved for hours, she was peeing red and her bowels emptied. She was shaking in pain. I called the vet and got her in.
I stayed with her the entire time at the vet. She kept looking at me with her soft and sad brown eyes, and all I could do was cry. I laid on the floor for an hour with her after she took her last breaths.
Now it's been hours, I'm still crying on and off. Mom's out of surgery, feeling fine, and when she asked how Bonnie was, I told her she's gone. She didn't seem to have a big reaction, as I'm sobbing telling her.
Bonnie was only 12. I'm angry. Angry at my mother for neglecting her dog over the years, despite me constantly telling her when Bonnie seemed off. My mother is not poor. She's an extremely wealthy boomer, but she always complained about vet costs. Meanwhile, I've gone without healthcare and food throughout my life to make sure my dog is taken care of. Any time he seems off, we're at the vet's - he practically has his own room. I'm just so angry at my mother for not taking better care of Bonnie and leaving me, once again, having to be there for her because he own mother didn't care enough.
I just needed to vent. I'm so upset. Upset about losing Bonnie (who's also been my dog's best friend since he was 5 weeks old). Upset at my mother for the obvious reasons. Upset about hoping I made the right call. Upset over having to be the one to take her in and hoping she wasn't looking for my mom, and that my presence was enough.