I’ve heard that being pretty can create a “halo effect “ where people assume the best in them, yet media often depicts pretty = bully. Why?

I am in really a bad spot. I was the school pariah in my college, that i spent in for 8 years. People constantly mocked me and built a reputation for me, which i hated so much. I graduated 7 months ago but i feel stuck mentally, it just keep repeated the bad experiences i had and the faces of people who mocked me and gave me disgusted looks when they see me.

I really cant write a summary of what i have been through these 8 years in one post.

But i want to get over this, i feel i have 0 personality and i hate it so much. I want to connect with people but they either dont want to interact with me or just gives looks, which hurts me deep in my soul.

I just need an advice on how to overcome this and just feel better for once?

For example if I decide to not invite someone along to an outing because they are an asshole, I am considered a bully for not including them. Yet I’m told if they are an asshole I should just not spend time with them.

Disclaimer: the post might be disturbing and it's long to take your time. And faq these assholes

My friends are literal dogshit. I am feeling more and more ashamed by regarding them as friends everyday. So today I had my first day of college. Belonging to a tier 2.5-3 city The college is okayish. And obviously it's college so people from a lot of different backgrounds come there. So it was the departure time 1 hour before. So my shitty friends already have a yk ew mindset towards women. So we were standing so there was a couple walking and the girl was walking a little oddly and in our college on Wednesday everyone must wear formal clothes. So women wear A line skirt. It was our first day so we didn't wear any formal( normal for men) and guess what a classmate of my friend who is in another section said in Punjabi "edda di kyu chaldi payi aa" "lagda zyada laili one" and a bit more it's making me puke to write it. In english it's "his bf must have fuked her too much" and my friend said yeah I was thinking of it and more. And they started laughing I mean what? What is there to laugh about even? Demeaning a woman? It's just a way to cope that you can't get her. Then another Friend after this when we were getting ready to leave said something about women in skirts and their legs? I said that "kya ghatiya baate krte ho and all" he said "ise lejao yaar" "keep him away" he said to the third friend. Like he meant that when we are talking I must be away, like he was talking to another friend(the one who laughed before that a woman walking oddly must be because she was fuked. And the other friend of mine is in the same section as me tho he didn't say anything that big like he did say. But okay I know that's how you were always. And yk what? He said to all of them that I ate his brain? Cool. I mean this guy would send me videos of "friendship forever" "if I lose you i believe there is no best friend" and this is how disrespect me in front of others? Maybe he said that for fun but still I didn't like it. This was before the upper two incidents. So yeah after those incidents I felt like puking i thought that I will have to travel with these people for three years? I felt like I don't even wanna do college ew. I mean they are no less than a rapist. Yk what's the difference between them and a rapist. A rapist knows he can and has the powert to rape someone and they don't. Seriously I am a very emphatic person i feel for everyone but at this time even if they all were dying in front of me i wouldn't stand a finger to help any of them. It's the price you pay. I am not a friend who'll support you if you are wrong. I mean you tell me friendship is supporting you blindly? No wonder rapists are also supported by their peers. Yk the worst part two them has a bigger sister and when sometimes before this incident i brought this up. That you are thinking of someone like this what if another person is also thinking that your sisters "boobs are big" "ass is big" "it would feel so good to fuck her" translate all these in hindi you'll understand. Obviously i didn't actually say these but the thing if these things which you say is also being said to your sister? Then again "lejao yar ise" "keep him away" but today I don't know why I got so numb when it happened, it has happened before and it all went off like uhh I can't with these people they'll never understand. Even if it's meant to them cause they'll just say "why would that happen to us" I know the mother of two of these friends quite closely they have asked me to look after them in college and school before. Like one guy got 75+ percent in boards because of me and other ways from different streams but I have helped him emotionally and academically in the past. I just feel that why did I even decide to join them. Like I was the one who recommended the course but I didn't take admission myself. And it's just they think the classmates are "good" yeah buddy they are good cause they resemble you. A fuking leech who deserves to be dead. I hate each one of you. You all are just scums not even worse than scums. I wonder how your mothers would feel if I told them this. But Obv it's none of my business. I don't think I can keep up with them for 3 years. If it goes like this i will quit college and find a way to do it distant

Peace

Sorry

Everyone

There is nothing wrong with me. I’m not ugly, physically or mentally impaired, I have loving parents, a wonderful sister and my own set of interests and hobbies. But I’m neurodivergent, and it has completely fucked up my entire life.

Throughout school, third grade and up, I’ve been constantly ostracized, bullied and harassed by other people I did nothing to. They never had a reason for it, it’s always just been “you’re just annoying”, “you’re just weird”, “you’re rude” but I’ve seen other people have the same behavior and not get so much hatred and bullshit from other people for it. Just me. If you want to know what acts I’m talking about in particular, here’s a list:

\-in 7th grade, I got doxxed and a bunch of boys texted my number with death threats, racial slurs and trolling.
\-in 6th grade, my diary got exposed to the entire school where I wrote about all my feelings.
\-in 9th grade, a random girl singled me out in front of my entire class.
\-in 7th grade, I discovered that there was a school group chat dedicated to taking photos of me without permission and sending them.

And more. That doesn’t even scratch the surface. I also get bullied/shamed often in groups or by my entire class and many times people will accuse me of doing things I didn’t do, like talking crap about others or being rude. This happened to me all three years of middle school and even though I moved high schools it’s still happening.

It’s summer for me right now, but I have band camp next week until school starts and I honestly don’t want to show my face because I’m just traumatized and hurt by all the bullying I’ve experienced over the years, which I’ve also experienced in band. Even my band director treats me a little different than the other kids. Giving me less opportunities and options just because for whatever reason. Everyday I constantly have massive anxiety attacks and anger management problems because I know I can’t do anything to people who constantly bully me and harass me right now and it hurts.

I ended up quitting Reddit a while ago but came back, which even then I was a little scared because one of the girls who bullied me in my AP human geography class last year took my phone and looked through it and saw that I had Reddit, and then went on to shame me for it. I’m constantly seen as being in the wrong and my life is made a living hell, all because I am neurodivergent and “different”.

I think school will be the reason I die because I think that one day during school or summer I’m just going to go insane and either commit or stay confined into my house. I have no friend groups, I’ve been left out of every single one I’ve been through, like planning hangouts right in front of my face without me being invited. I don’t have that many friends. And most of the ones I do have don’t ask me to hang out often. So I think that, one day I will just go insane from all of my bullying and memories and die. I don’t know how exactly I will die, but I think that it’s going to happen. And I don’t know what to do because I don’t have a way out. The only thing I really have out work in consistently in school, is my instrument but my band director clearly doesn’t like to ever give me an opportunity to shine on my instrument, as I’ve already explained. My band mates constantly put me down about my skill on my instrument, and I don’t have any musical achievements. I have literally no way out to cope. Everyday during summer for the past two weeks has just been stay in the bed the entire day and go on my phone. After school it’s go home, marching rehearsal and then go home again and be alone on my phone. :(

Please help.

Hi, I'm new here. I just want to ask about my energy. Strangers, especially children and old people find me approachable. To add, most of my friends talks to me personally for support or when they want someone to lean on. However, at the same time, I attract bullies. I get bullied every year in school. I don't know what is up with my energy that it sometimes fluctuates(?).

So this incident happened when I was in 9th standard and cuz I had a weird surname "Panda" so a guy used to tease me from my surname a lot and it had come to an extent that I started hating my surname but one day I came to know that the bully was a "DALIT" so yeah I started casteism 😭😭...

I started teasing him on his caste saying things like "tere gale mein matka bandh ke thukunga", "tere kamar pe jhaadu kyun nahi hai", "Tu saale neeche baith ke khaana khaa", "Shrapit lode", etc so I didn't knew that the bully already had insecurity regarding this and I started teasing him on his insecurity so he told about this to his parents and his parents complained to the principal and my principal gave me the punishment that I have to read the first page of "The Indian Constitution" in the front of whole assembly and have to tell them that what I did and he also suspended me for a week 😭😭😭😭

So what do you think, did he do the right thing??????

And I am still ashamed of myself for this act 🙏🙏

My entire childhood i tried desparately, maybe even put in an offputting amount of energy+overthinking into it, to make friends and find a respactable group of people to fit in.

While i watched other kids accomplish this with comparitive ease. I never got to sitdown at a lunch table without putting up with hostility and disrespect. I was told i was suppose to let shit slide, be the bigger person. And id do that, but then theyd think i was a pushover. Like i was ok/cool with beimg treated with hostility and disrespect. And theyd start compete amongst each other on who could be the most openly disrespectful, bullying or assault me.

This is the exact circumstance "be the bigger person" is the worst advice. Do not expect accolades or respect from acting civilized towards uncivilized people. It does not work that way, never has/never will. They dont respect "bigger persons"..they just think youre a pushover, which is not the desired result at all, this advice blames victims and tells them not to stand up for themselves.

And if i matched their disrespect with calling it out for what it is/giving some disrespect in return, them and their friend group pretend im the one being out of line for not putting up with injustice.

My "friends" were frenemies. Bottom of the barrel types, often lived in single parent households. They didnt want to improve or succeed. I got no accolades from going to college/holding a job/staying out of trouble. They thought i was a scaredy cat/a pussy. Because i deduced some of their high risk low reward and criminal behaviors were stupid and id try ward them off from it. I was a square.

I ate my lunch standing up, until i bought a car.

3 years after high school ended...not only i had zero friends, in my age group all id ever met were traitors, bullies, criminals. It was safer to write off everyone in that community as a traitor or potential enemy than lend them good faith and humanity. My positive traits were used to put knives in my back.

If this all sounds misanthropic, youre god damn right it is, if you walk a mile in my shoes, it is justifiably so.

The boys at school all agreed it was ok to treat me with disrespect. And none of the girls thought i was attractive or want to hang out with me.

All my middle school and high school period i was bullied by a person. They were multiple but one of them ruined my life in some way. One year passed, i retured to my hometown and saw that guy again. My heart is still shaking seeing them and i get very angry. They still verbally bully me when they have the chance. I feel so intimidated and i dont know why i cant even give a proper answer when something like that happens, to protect myself.

My entire life is litteraly defined by being treated horrible. Being born black sheep of tje family treatmwnt can range so bad i thought i would die by age 11. I always tried to show undividex love to my parents and they layedbback the treqtmwnt through double standards, shaming, beating, and aome sick punishments i dont want to even recall.

Middle school socially i was basically a clown for people to laugh at especially from undiagnosed autism and social inepntwss because i was never allowed rk have a real social lifs out of the housw causing me to be socially stunted.

Also being maltreated by peers in ways such is unwanted touch, or people claiming that i looked like a r@pist( i was 5"1 skinny and black with a high pitcjed voice at the time). People saying that everyone disresp3cts me and looks down on me.

What i realised growing up is that maltreatment is ok alsong as you dont defy peoples delusions that people who go trhough exlusion times will grow up to be some optomistic anime prontagonist. And what many will describe a "bad person".

It feels as if people choose that certain people arent human and its ok aslong as those maltreated people do not snap or change and submit to harm.

Now recent years im being exlcuded for "carrying negative personality traits" Probably in need of some diagnosis according to some that i wont discuss so i dont face backlash or stigma. I camw here to vent because its extremwly fustratinf how people will trwat you like shit and expect you to grow up following THIER moral and empathic standards that they never showed you.

I originally posted this in 2025, when I was 35:

I'm an autistic and epileptic woman. Joanne was my neighbour in my former neighborhood, which I moved out of, due to bullying and abuse from the residents (I was bullied for my disabilities), including Joanne. She bullied both my mother and I.

I could not go outside without being verbally and/or physically abused by a resident. In 2005, when I was 15, my mom and I moved out of that city since I could not go outside without being verbally and/or physically abused, even though I didn't do or say anything - I would keep to myself.

We moved to a city nearby. Unfortunately, Joanne works at the bookstore in the local mall. Fortunately there is another bookstore, within a few minutes from the mall. I usually go to that bookstore or order online; I avoid Joanne's as much as possible.

I went in Joanne's bookstore last lear (one day only) because I was looking for a book that the other bookstore didn't have (Christmas shopping). Joanne saw me and came up to me. She snarled that I was banned and brought up an incident that happened due to epileptic activity last year (apparently I broke some glass and caused a mess, which I don't remember yet both my family doctor and neurologist know about the incident and said it was due to epilepsy, especially since I can't remember it). I told her that ban was up and about seizures, which she refused to hear. She started screaming that I was "causing her distress" and "get security". I said that I was just looking for a book, I would not have gone to her store if it was at the other store (the only reason I didn't check online is because there's a mail strike going on; apparently they're "partially working" so if I ordered it online I might not get it until sometime in January). She doesn't have to worry. I won't be back to her store. But I'll be telling people what happened (and have).

Joanne has gotten other employees to say I'm not welcome, be nasty to me, etc. Today, while waiting for someone (unfortunately waiting outside the bookstore, I told them I would never agree to meet them outside that bookstore and explained why; Joanne, her daughter, and her friends decided to make me the Carrie White in their province, fortunately I wasn't born in their province and plan to return to my birth province eventually and never, ever return to this province) a random employee of the bookstore randomly shouted out at me; she shouted nasty things to me. I kept walking, even when she told me to "get back here". I just kept walking until I was out of the mall. Iknew I didn't say or do anything wrong so why would I acknowledge someone being nasty to me?

I told the person I was meeting that there were better places to eat and do things while waiting for a movie than that mall. The real troublemakers get away with everything and the security just go after what they consider "easy fish" (aka people they can punish for making a mistake but not punish those actually breaking the rules).

So all of you think that the autistic woman is the issue in the village primary school

Well after parking in a way they didn't like , they could have spoke to me instead they made a mocking post online .

they made this post only to humiliate and have a laugh

this is only one page of comments

people who act like this are vile and disgusting

people who judge from one post are also disgusting

since this incident they excluded and isolated n myself and the children

overnight party invitations stopped, hellos in the playground stopped and speaking to a parent normally results in the other parents running to the headteacher despite no witnesses , to ban me.

the clique but worse

if the face doesn't fit , the name , the neurodivergence

so if you haven't experienced this level of isolation and bullying DO NOT JUDGE

Apparently Kids Help phone's new "cut-off age" is 28, it was first 21, then changed to 29 (my age), now it's 28. So, if your local mental healthlines (including warmlines) and 988 are terrible, you have no options for phone counselling.

When the employee rudely told me that I can't cut off after I'm 28; I said "fine, I'll let others know this" before hanging up. At least you got a notice from someone.

If the employee is incorrect, then she was just saying that as an excuse not to speak to me even though I wasn't rude (nor did I come across as that, I asked people after; they think the employee lied too and are glad I'm posting this since it reveals a truth/exposes a potential lie).

How to deal with it when people bullies u for ur looks

( People bullies me for having a big nose )

"Listen buddy If you disagree I'll have you know as an decorated USMC with confirmed KIA,Thank you. Honestly, I am
An “internal” martial artist and so my post is sorta the answer but to go into more detail:
We are talking big categories so we gotta paint with a wide brush… tempting to say that internal styles are more focused on technique or principle but that’s greatly undervaluing the skill involved in external systems.
If I had to explain the two at the moment… I think external styles are a lot more athletic and require greater athletic prowess while internal styles are bit “lazier” and emphasize efficiency.
You don’t know when exactly but I’m about due to test for my 3rd degree black in a more “Shaolin” system. I also have around 6-7 years now where my primary practice is a “soft” form of Southern Mantis.
Trying to ignore personal bias, I feel like the more external Shaolin oriented study gave me a good athletic base and helped me to become a proficient & well rounded martial artist but the more internal Jooklum helped me to understand underlying principles and is surprisingly much more pragmatic.
I started kungfu when I was 14-15 and now I’m about to turn 36, I don’t move the same way I did then but I learned a lot that influenced my current practice.
Regarding “internal force”, I think it’s mostly a way to explain factors that aren’t obvious. Look at an actual Olympic powerlifter, they are obviously fit & strong but could easily pass as a guy who just happens to go to go to the gym until they snatch 175kg+ right? That’s a level of strength that is baffling but ultimately it is the result of thousands of hours perfecting optimal movement paths & learning to use the entire body as one unit. I kinda think of internal arts the same way…. We are learning to be efficient with existing force rather than trying to have the hardest kick or strongest punch. It’s not a perfect metaphor but hopefully good enough. If you truly believe you're correct and I'm somehow wrong then buddy my squad and I would be waiting by your Dojo.
I’m sorry you feel that way.

You cannot answer your own question especially considering the fact that you are not familiar with the broader conversation.

You might choose to allow people to harass & insult other people without recourse and I respect your beliefs. I will not do the same though; if somebody has the wherewithal to attack people then they should be prepared to have the same returned.

I try to be peaceful but if you go out of your way to attack me & other people then I’ll return the favor with more violence than you are prepared for. If that’s uncomfortable then the lesson is to not start things you cannot finish.

In a perfect world we don’t have this issue; but in the imperfect world we live in, I’m willing to go as far as necessary to protect the innocent and weak. If that requires attacking somebody’s ego then so be it.
Sorry.

I have hearing loss & tinnitus so it’s hard to hear stuff. Your mom said something about not hurting your feelings but your sister and GF were asking me to “breed them”?

Go home Jody, you are drunk and out of your element. Tell your daughter I’ll pick her up around 9pm.
This game worked better for you here than in USMC because I could provide screenshots to show your activity. You did good man, a lot of people honestly believed you & your attempts to make me seem like a bad person. You couldn’t do that there because people know me and I could show receipts.

So what’s your issue dude? Seems you got offended that I offered a realistic explanation for terms which interfered with your efforts to make people look bad.

Are you really just angry that my practice doesn’t fit the idiotic categorization that you want it to fit into?

But hey, I’ll play nice & pretend you didn’t create this account specifically to troll. If you are a real person I extend the same invitation to you. Come show me in person how your kungfu is superior to mine. If you are better than I’ll learn from you."

-BoringPrinciple25__

There was this girl; Korine/Bugs Bunny on Tiktok and Instagram, who bullied me for having long hair, calling me a femboy and stuff like that, and things got out of hand when she started harassing me on all social media platforms and posting things about me on Instagram, saying homophobic, horrible, and disgusting things that really hurt me. Only a sick person would do and say those things.

So there is this girl, I used to be friends with her. She is really bipolar and two faced. One day she is nice to you the next she is talking shit about you. I’m not sure why she is like this. She keeps putting her childhood as an excuse but we all know that just cause you were treated bad you shouldn’t treat others bad. I’m a really nice and helpful person. If you need someone to talk to, I’m there. I defend you no matter the situation. If I knew you didn’t do something I will defend you. I’m saying this because my whole high school life I’ve been nice to the girl. I’ve never done anything bad to her to what I know. I stopped talking to her when she started talking bad things about me to others about things that aren’t even true. Here is where it involves my boyfriend. Yesterday, we were just telling our classmates that is was lunch time cause they were in another room where my teacher wasn’t. He saw this guy who he usually messes with and told him to pull his pants up because you know they were down. The guy which we can call (k) and another which I don’t mind saying his name Keneth, we’re building a toolbox. Apparently Keneth was stressed from the toolbox. He “thought” that my boyfriend was talking to him and saying that to him. So he said “mind your business n****”. And my bf said something back saying that he wasn’t talking to him. The girl which used to be my friend was there too. She repeated what my bf said so that they could hear it. We just walked away and went to lunch. That when my friend told me that Keneth on Thursday was mad at me and boyfriend cause we left early and “didn’t clean our area.” We always clean our area when we leave, especially making sure that the car is safe and looks clean. Because we “didn’t clean our area” he said that he wanted to kill my boyfriend. That same day I heard that Keneth wished that I would get f*** up by another guy so my boyfriend would suffer. I couldn’t really take it anymore and when up to the girl and asked if she had a problem and why she was talking bad about me to other people. She lied and said that she is not doing that and that she is hearing others talk shit about us. That same girl made me lose many friends, but I’m glad that happened because it shows how they really are. I don’t mind saying her name because she is just a fake person who didn’t stand up for me when the girl was talking bad about me. Her name is Bernantz. She is now turning into the girl. Acting just like her and telling her everything I would tell her. The same day I just came home and cried later on because I don’t know why this is happening to me. I haven’t done anything but been nice too people. Same with my boyfriend, yes he can be mean but that’s when he jokes, overall he is nice to people who are my friends and aren’t. I don’t know what to do. If I had the ability to fight her and the others I would but I’m just not like that.

see it is not new it is being since years , i am being harassed , commented on my skin tone , on my body and also got beaten , with lots of vulgar and very bad language i am in class 12 preparing for jee and all these are happening and i am forced due to the circumstances to crack jee with excellent marks and also due too family pressure also they always tell me bad words and all these thing told by my parents surprising right and even in my school or coaching many of my colleagues point out on my colour and fatty body , what should i do they do i cant do something even my parents do these things what i could do cant tell anyone . i am not black but , my parents and even my sister has white skin and i have a darker skin tone w.r.t them so they annoy me but i could ignore this like its ohk they could do that i can ignore i am good but when my family also does this how could i be relaxed and i am not like anyone who want to quit life i am pretty strong ,,,,... from years i want to go away from here but what can i do hhhhhhhh..... i am not even allowed to play games , i just hide and do these stuffs and when i caught they beat me . so ..............................................................what ??

Whether that's in person or online but more so online and on here.

It's a post that said if you don't know how to deal with cyber bullying and you deserve to be bullied . And recently I know of someone that died from cyber bullying.

Also I'm seeing way too many posts and people on here use the word incel and that's like the new word for just calling someone a loser. But really that doesn't help anyone I think people are just struggling men and women you could say maybe men of low social economic status maybe a little bit more so.

But the answer is empathy and compassion not cyberbullying

Especially when they are classmates and why they do it? I always think we were friends, but I realize too late that it was bullying. For example when she's moving her hair so it hits my face in purpose frequently

I give honest opinions not rude or anything - and Ive just got a 28 day ban on ask Ireland - I previously got a 7 day ban for nothing
A person queried putting an Irish word above their nipple and I said it wasn’t a great choice and maybe pick something else - the fact that someone else said something similar and had 12 upvotes and nothing was said is insane. Has anyone ever experienced being bullied by a moderator?

I went to school during the 2010s, when cyberbullying was already an issue, alongside regular in-person bullying (verbal and physical), of course, but I keep hearing that the way kids bully each other today is different than it was even just a decade ago, but how is it different? What are school bullies doing now that they didn't do back then? What does bullying at school look like today? I'm sure there are some similarities and some differences, but I mostly hear this from the perspective of parents and people who work with kids for a living, not so much actual students who are experiencing it for themselves.