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Mods/community: if this is the wrong sub for this or flair is incorrect, please let me know :)   

This past Friday evening, 6/17, I (male, 40s), went to Friends and Lovers (641 Classon Ave Brooklyn) with a group of friends (ages 20s - 40s). A good/close friend of mine, "S" (female, mid-20s) also came along. We had all been out at a few bars earlier in the night, we all got to F&L well after midnight. 

At one point, me (white) and my good friend "S" (black) were dancing on the dance floor together. I noticed a guy in front us, probably close to 7' tall, wearing a shirt which said something like '7 Team' on it, and I  commented to "S", I wonder what that means. "S" being the friendly person she is and out of  concern for my curiosity, goes over and strikes up a conversation with the guy, and after a minute or two brings him over to me, and we introduce each other. We chat for a few, everything is cool. He works there. We decide to go have a smoke in the back. "The back" is a smallish, walled-in back yard area. There is 1 door in and out, the one that leads from and to the bar. 

We walk towards the back door, and I turn around for a moment to get either my drink or some water, which means I'm separated from the the two of them walking for a few moments, 20-30 seconds maybe max. So they end up in the back. I arrive at the back yard door, and step through. I'm immediately told by 2 (other) large men that I can't come back there. I quickly look around, and see "S" standing there towards the back, her back is toward the door, surrounded by 4 or 5 large men, all who seemed to be staff (bouncers/security). The two men at the back door tell me to turn around go back into the bar, leaving "S" there. She is the only female is the area at this point, and there is no one else there except for the 4 or 5 men surrounding her. For a little context, "S" is tiny, about 4'11", and even though she's in her mid 20s, she easily looks like she's 17 or something. (she also has no non-platonic interest in black guys). I go back into the bar, and text her shortly thereafter to come out. She does. 

When she meets me, she's astounded by what I told her (that they intentionally separated us by not allowing me to go outside). We left shortly thereafter. 

This was both my and her first time at F&L, but we are well experienced with bk nightlife, and many others in our friend group had been there before numerous times. 

This post is not meant to disparage Friends and Lovers as an establishment (well... maybe a little bit? And it should be?), but it IS certainly meant to disparage those people involved in keeping us apart, even if briefly (luckily). And to remind people be aware and careful. I find it absolutely unconscionable, scary, and flat out wrong that any business or establishment or it's staff would take part in separating individuals in a group from each other, and creating a situation that can potentially become dangerous. 

Thank you for reading, and please be safe. 🙂

Hey everyone! I’m about to work my very first security gig at a concert soon. It's my first time ever doing event security, and I'm really curious about what to expect.

​Just for some context: I am a competitive MMA fighter, so when it comes to physical fitness, stamina, reflexes, and managing physical pressure, I feel confident and prepared. However, I know that event security is a completely different beast and that crowd control, situational awareness, and verbal de-escalation are the real priorities here.

​What are the absolute essentials I should know for my first day? What are the classic rookie mistakes to avoid? Also, do you have any practical tips on things people usually overlook (e.g., best footwear, managing hours of standing, staying hydrated, dealing with concert-goers)?

​Thanks in advance for any insights!

I’ll start by saying I have never been security before but I am military so my situational awareness I pretty good and reaction times to stuff are quick and thought out.

I’m seeking for advice catching underage. Ways to prevent fights from escalating and proper ways to kick someone out without catching a charge.

Hi all I mostly wear a mesh utility vest with/without a stab vest for some events and being 19st and quite large I sometimes find I get way too hot, has anyone tried this product or something similar to keep them cool on shift?

Working the front door, I’ve seen some of the most beautiful women come through. I feel like after seeing that for so many years, it takes a lot for a woman to really impress me now 😂

Any other bouncers feel like that, or is it just me?

PORTLAND, Ore. (KATU) — A 30-year-old woman is accused of biting two people and punching a security guard during a violent altercation at a Northwest Portland bar.

For the third time in recent months, Portland police have made an arrest at the River Pig Saloon. The latest incident happened on July 2, when police were contacted about a woman who had been detained by security at the bar.

According to court documents, a woman told officers she was dancing with friends when the suspect bumped into one of them and pulled her by the hair.

When the suspect, later identified as 30-year-old Kayla Wiebe, was confronted, she allegedly tried to pull another woman's shirt down to expose her breasts.

Wiebe then allegedly pulled the woman to the ground and bit her in the face.

When Security tried to detain Wiebe, she punched a Security Guard in the face and bit him on the hand, according to court documents.

Police say that after she was arrested, Wiebe allegedly kicked the patrol car door more than 100 times.

Wiebe pleaded not guilty at her arraignment Monday to two counts of assault, three counts of harassment, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. She was released on her own recognizance and is due back in court July 24.

Court records show Wiebe was convicted in Washington County in 2024 of assaulting a Public Safety Officer and criminal mischief. She was sentenced to probation.

Earlier this year, a woman sued River Pig, alleging inadequate Security after she was stabbed at the bar last December.

Court records also show Wiebe was convicted in Yamhill County in 2022 of harassment and fourth-degree assault. She was sentenced to probation and one day in jail.

In 2020, Wiebe was convicted in Washington County of DUII and reckless endangerment. She was sentenced to probation, and her driver's license was suspended for one year.

It’s a scenario we’ve seen before. A nighttime reveler, perhaps after one too many, taunts a bouncer into a fight. But a July 8 video of a confrontation between an overly confident man and a Security Guard may be the funniest example yet.

It’s rare to see a man get his clock cleaned so quickly.

An Instagram Reel from the aptly titled account “Leave Black People Alone” is going viral, drawing hundreds of amused comments.

In the video, a white man in flip-flops and shorts, somewhat bafflingly, decided to challenge the much larger Security Guard to a fight in the street. Perhaps he was not thinking straight, or maybe it was a stunt to get attention.

Whatever his reasoning, the man put on a show: he bobbed around in a boxer’s stance, put up his fists, and then warmed up with a bit of shadowboxing. The moves prompted one Instagram commenter to dub him “Lil Rocky.”

The white man let out a battle cry: “Like Mike Tyson. Yeah, yeah, baby!”

Meanwhile, the Security Guard looked completely unbothered, calmly puffing on a cigarette.

Soon, the man took his shot. The video doesn’t show the swing, but we’d wager he didn’t cause much damage.

Within seconds, he was cheek-to-cheek with the concrete after the Security Guard dropped him with a single punch. He lingered on the ground for a while, looking confused with his mouth agape.

“Gasping for air…Lil Rocky,” joked a commenter, followed by, “His face though!!”

Another person quipped: “Took him 7 business days to get on his feet.”

Others said they saw the outcome from the very start. As one put it, “When I saw the flip flops, I knew it was a wrap.”

In a mic drop moment, the Security Guard picked up his still-lit cigarette from the ground and walked away. A bystander who filmed the encounter also did not disappoint. She heckled the man from the sidelines: “Oooooh, he told you! He told you! Oh sh*t, he told your ass to leave him alone and go home.” If only he had listened.

Where's everyone working on this lovely Thursday

I was clubbing recently and fell in love with one of the security guards on stage after seeing him throw a man out by the neck. Very sexy. I was admiring him for a bit, and then I just wondered how tf doesn’t he even bop his head?

It got a bit funny then, because he was over 6 foot, buff as hell with tattoos, and was just standing there all serious while “free your mind” was blaring.

Also how do you deal with the hours? Most clubs are open from 12am-5am, are you guys nocturnal? I’m just genuinely so curious about this job it seems tough. Especially standing directly under the speakers, like how do you protect your ears?

Got a frantic call on the radio of a fight in progress near one of the bars on the dance floor. I'm behind my partner pushing people away to get to the fight. There are 2 guys scrapping on the floor. My partner goes for the guy on the left so I go for the guy on the right. Another guard arrives and helpa my partner, leaving me alone with the other dude. I have him in a chokehold. He tries to struggle and get up so I put my bodyweight on him and now he's pinned to the ground. He ends up tapping out on my shoulder and I release the hold but my arm is still around his neck just in case he starts to fight again. I tell him "I'm going to let you stand up, and I'm going to bring you out of the club. If you resist I will put you to sleep." I said that twice so he knows. He agrees. We both stand up, I got him in a kimura position around his back. He does not resist thank God because I'm alone. I bring him off the premesis and away he goes. The dude really had a huge fight with someone because his shirt was all ripped up and was shirtless.
So yeah that was my Saturday night. Normally Saturday nights are boring as fuck....

Have you ever let a friend or family member into your venue, only for them to embarrass you afterward?

Maybe they got too drunk, started an argument, ignored the rules, or expected special treatment because they knew you.

What’s the worst experience you’ve had, and did it change how you handle friends and family at the door?

I never drank while I was working but there were guys that did. Has anyone drank during work or have you worked with guys that have ?

For me it was laminated with scotch tape and had two people in the photo.

Runner up was the kid brother of a good buddy of mine, who realized i knew what was up when i asked what state records he set his junior year in track and soccer when he fished his older brothers old license out of the trash to try and get in

The place I work at has never gotten stung to my knowledge. And even if they did pull stings they can't legally present you with fakes, that's entrapment.

Moreover, if they're convincing enough, then what does it matter? I spoke to a cop last Saturday about someone having patronized the bar(they had a receipt). They don't think they're whoever they claim to be. The implication being that it's a forged ID, specifically a fake green card. And... so what? I also had another legal "matter" get to me about someone using the California ID app who was caught for an unrelated matter, a "lawyer" of his parents called. I guess that's important? Make up your minds. I also don't know why photos matter, like people can't change.

Some nights get too busy to have some authority dictate that I'm supposed to be a forensics document examiner. Why can't we just do judgement calls? If you look younger than 25 then I'll ask.

lol. Our Wednesdays are not stupid busy. Sure as hell don’t sell tables on a Wednesday. Except tonight. I made an extra $300 for seating and serving some girl and her friends who came in after a show. I shoulda been a bottle girl.

I’m curious how it is for other door guys. Once you’ve spent so much time working clubs, bars, dealing with people, watching the room, spotting problems before they happen, does that ever shut off?

When you go out as a regular person, do you still find yourself in “work mode” the whole night? Or do you enjoy the night?

For me, my instinct are always up so sometimes it’s hard to enjoy the night.

I've become numb to mild rudeness. I'll let it slide most of the time in case it isn't repeated.

But this instance just stuck with me. It's almost funny.

Group of four walk into the bar(rather slow evening). I asked for IDs, the first guy says, right-off the bat: "you suck". Instead of getting into an argument I just wondered; there are two possible explanations here.

A) "I suck" because I'm ID checking. In which case, do you even know where you are? It's a bar.
B) "I suck" because... I don't recognize him? As if I'm supposed to recall everyone who shows up here once in a blue moon. I recognize all regulars and the "almost"-regulars. And that's just hilarious. He felt offended because he wasn't remembered. Such a fragile ego.

I’m from NYC and don’t have any form of ID other than a passport. In NYC and it’s really common to not have a driver license bc public transit is so widely available and parking is expensive and hard to come by. If I use my expired passport from when I was a kid (bc that’s my most recent expired passport) will I get turned away from bars? Ngl I look rly young for my age (abt to turn 22) so that might also be an added issue… I’m getting my state ID soon but in the meantime how would you react if you saw this at the door?

I’m curious to know how is bouncing today, I’ve been retired since 2015.

I only met a few celebrities during my time as a bouncer, and they were all singers.

Funny enough, the celebrities themselves were never the problem. It was almost always someone in their entourage causing trouble.

One time, the lead singer of a group tried to walk in with an open beer that he had brought from his vehicle. In Texas, that's illegal because you can't openly drink outside a licensed bar or club.

As soon as we stopped him, he immediately apologized. No attitude, no argument.

One of the people in his entourage, however, decided to start the whole "Do you know who he is?" routine. We honestly didn't care. The rules applied to everyone.

The guy got more and more irritated, making a huge scene and insisting the singer should be allowed to do whatever he wanted.

Eventually, one of the police officers working outside grabbed the entourage member and pulled him off to the side to calm him down.

Meanwhile, the singer thanked us for doing our job, shook our hands, and walked inside without any issues.

That experience taught me that celebrities usually aren't the problem. It's often the people around them who think they're celebrities too.

I got knocked out a while back, got table topped and a guy tenderized the back of my head with a steel toe boot. I'm just curious how you remember the incident. It's pretty much all 1 seamless memory for me. Feels like I just fell down and got back into the fight immediately but in reality I was out for several minutes.

An intoxicated woman who punched a Security Guard, and man who assaulted a different Security Guard were just three of the incidents Chilliwack RCMP were called to within a one-week period.

Police responded to 798 calls for service for the week of June 1 to 7.

A woman who was removed from a nightclub on Main Street was arrested after reportedly punching a security staff member, Cpl. Carmen Kiener stated in the Chilliwack RCMP ‘weekly snapshot.’

“When police arrived and arrested the woman, she also assaulted a police officer during her arrest. She was held in police custody until she was sober and no longer a risk to others. Charges are being recommended against the woman.”

Another altercation happened at a business on Nowell Street where a man assaulted a Security Guard. He was detained at the scene and arrested when police arrived. When searched, police found a knife, suspected illicit drugs, and drug paraphernalia on him, which were all seized.

“He was later released on conditions, including that he does not return to the property.”

ROCKFORD, Ill. (WTVO) — A man who was allegedly thrown out of a Rockford bar reportedly threatened a Security Guard with a gun and was later arrested after a foot chase with pursuing officers.

According to Rockford Police, at 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, June 7, officers were called to the El Navegante Bar, at 160 15th Avenue.

A staff member told police that Roberto Moran, 28, had been drinking at the bar and left. When he returned, he was denied entry because of his extreme intoxication, court records say. Moran then went to the floorboard of his green Toyota Camry and withdrew a handgun and pointed it at the security guard from about 40 feet away, the victim said, telling police he “believed he would have been shot,” but heard a “click” from Roberto’s gun.

When police arrived, they spotted Moran in an alley north of the bar. When ordered to stop, authorities said Morgan ran and was apprehended in the 100 block of Broadway.

Officers and the K-9 conducted a sweep of Moran’s flight path and located a silver handgun inside a dresser near a detached garage, according to the charging documents.

Police said that because Moran speaks Spanish, an interpreter was used during a subsequent interview.

Moran reportedly told interrogators that he had owned the gun in the past, “but not today.” He also claimed the gun was “for security purposes” and that he was on his way to retrieve the gun from a friend’s house, but was unable to because he believed he was being chased by security.

He was arrested and faces charges of aggravated assault, aggravated unlawful possession of a weapon, resisting arrest, possession of a firearm without a Firearm Owner’s Identification card,

Miss, we need to get your friend out of here. She’s too fucked up to be in the club.

“No, she’s fine. It’s cool”

Miss, she’s passed out in a bathroom stall on the floor leaning on the toilet.

“No, she’s not passed out. She’s fine. She’s awake.”

No. That doesn’t make it better. It almost makes it worse. She’s conscious and thinks being on the floor in the bathroom stall is her best option? No. She’s got to go.

“Fine.”