Hi my name is Lux and I’m 18! I AM AN ADULT NOW THIS IS IN THE PAST. I recently remembered a rping story that had lowkey destroyed my own self confidence when I was younger. so sorry for the long message but if you’re reading thannnnkkkk you and grab some popcorn: also sorry for spelling mistakes I type fast and when I passionate about something I write fast. That rymed
Anyways, just for a little background information:
I started rping back in 2016 on my favorite child hood video game star stable Online. [sso] And yes star stable is a horse rider game. It’s changed a lot since I started playing and is just not the same anymore. I started off with simple Mutli person romance rps. Where there would be two guys and two girls and one girl would get with one guy and the other girl would Get with the other guy. There was literally no plot and there would be a llloootttt of drama. But it was fun and plus it was 2016. Sometimes it would just be Human roles and other times we’d roleplay as wild horses as well. In 2017-2018 I got into 1x1 human roleplays and would strictly only do mlm/BL romance roleplays. Thats when I really started to get into it and it became a really fun thing for me. Over the past couple of years say 2024-present I started doing more wlw/GL romance rps. I still role play on star stable sometimes but they’ve updated the game so much to appeal to the younger generation which made the game look and act totally different, and the role players just aren’t as good as the used to be. buuuuuuttttt because of roleplaying I even started writing my own book!
So with the background information out of the way lets get to the story. I believe this was back in 2022-2023 I was in my 8th grade year and it was during the summer.
I was playing on SSO and like usual typed into the chat an advertisement for a mlm role play like usual. its a very short add so basically just saying a ‘mlm rider role play, one dom male needed, has plots to choose from, please be mature and experienced, friend me to join.’ but much more “pretty” looking and said in a different way -side note rider roleplay just means human role play but because the video game player rides horses we call the people just riders…I don’t know it makes sense in the game.-
I did my waiting and someone friended me! we talked for awhile and we got along very well. I sent over the plot lines and they picked the one they wanted. We sent the char descriptions etc etc like every normal roleplay.
we started the role play and it was a lot of fun, they were really descriptive and the creative energy was constantly flowing.
the Role play went over for days, and days turned into weeks. little 14-15 year old me always got so excited to log onto the game and role play with them and if we didn’t role play we had ended up having a really good friendship and talked about literally everything. we talked about what shows we were watching, drama happening in our life, literally everything friends talked about. And I asked many times if we were friends and they’d be like “no we’re not! We’re best friends silly!”
so one day I Logged on and they were online, like usual I asked if they wanted to continue the roleplay and they said, ”No not today, sorry” which is totally fine we didn’t have to roleplay everyday so I thought we could just talk like we usually did if we weren’t roleplaying and they said “no I‘m training.“
-another side note: ’training’ in sso is Basically what it is training your horse via races around the maps. It makes your horse faster and have better stats so you could win championship races which you also get exp for your horse at those championships as well. Training just overall makes your horse faster etc.-
most people when they’re training they can still talk because thats what they do. So it was odd that they didn’t want to talk when we were usually always talking -when we were online ofc- but I let it be even if I was a little disappointed.
the same thing happened the next day, and then the next, and the next. And when they said yes to role playing they’d send one messege and say they’d have to get off. And yes people are busy but I would stay on the game and like 20 minutes later they got back on and I said hi and then got no response.
Little me was kinda stupid and didn’t get the vibe that they didn’t want to talk anymore because I genuinely thought we were friends. Like I didn’t care if we completely ditched the rp and would just talk like we did.
one day I asked AGAIN and we actually role played like we used to and for a couple days things went back to normal. But 3 days later we were online I asked to rp and they said “I don’t want to role play with you anymore.”
I was REALLY disappointed but I could get by with it because I’d still have them as a friend correct?
wrong.
I asked if we could still be friends and they said “we were never friends in the first place.” And I said “we called each other best friends all the time.“ and they said ”I never said anything like that you’re delusional.“
and then they proceeded to absolutely trash on me. nit picking every thing I said. calling me slurs -the used certain letters to get past the chat system so it wasn’t the full slur but to any reading the chat you’d be able to know what they were trying to say.- I started crying really hard and this was in the middle of night too because it was summer.
I really tried defending myself but 1. I was never good at doing that, and 2. any time I did it just made the situation worse. eventually I hit the block button -ever since I was younger I‘ve hated blocking people, so this was really hard for me.- I was crying so hard and my heart was beating so fast.
me being a 14-15 year old with all the drama in me did the only thing I knew how to do. Which reluctantly was bad on my part. I went into the global chat in sso and started telling everyone what that person just did to me and they all helped me report them and somehow we created a hate group for the person??? Nothing ever happened with the hate group it was just a bunch of teenagers saying ”oh I hate that person too now that they’ve been mean to you lets all be friend because we all hate this one person.” Stupid really.
after that day I was hesitant to roleplay of fear of the same thing happening. I got over it over the years but since then in the back of my head I still have that fear. especially if I have a long term role play friend it really shows. it’s crazy how influential one situation that happens to you as a kid can change your way completely on how you think.
but anyways! Thats my little crazy story from when I was younger. if you’ve gotten this far thanks so much for reading heres a cookie and a gold star
🍪🍪🍪⭐️⭐️⭐️
again thanks for reading, I hope everyone had a great morning/afternoon/night from when you’re reading this. And remember to stay kind!
much love, Lux <3