If a PhD student leaves their lab and applies to another department/university (US), do you reach out to their professor or their references? It seems unusual for a PhD student to transfer mid-degree. Is that something that is weighed based on the letters of rec/interviews?

I’m a graduate nursing student in Washington and I’m looking for perspective from anyone familiar with university conduct processes.

I recently found out my boyfriend had been having an affair with a married coworker. I informed her husband because I believed he deserved to know. We all used to work together but now only the husband and my boyfriend work there. Now, the woman my boyfriend cheated on me with is angry that knowledge of this eventually got out, and is threatening to report to my university for a violation in their code of ethics and and said that if I am lucky, I will not get kicked out of school. Furthermore, that she will also escalate it to defamation per se per WA law.

She claims I spread rumors about her having / spreading an STD. Which is absolutely not true. I do not live in the same state anymore nor have we worked at the same place since this happened. I've only confided in a couple close friends and never made any claims about her health. While upset, however, I did tell my boyfriend he should get an STD test via a text message. Although this was a private conversation, he was secretly still communicating with her and told her this.

I did not make social media posts, publicly accuse anyone, nor intentionally spread any information about this event.

This is all so crazy. I'm still reeling from being cheated on, and now I'm worried this girl is going to sue me and try to get me kicked out of my program that I worked hard to be a part of.

My questions are:
1.)How seriously do universities generally take complaints arising from off-campus personal relationship disputes?
2.) is a threat like this typically something to worry about, or is it more often viewed as a private interpersonal conflict?
3.) Would private text messages that were never shared publicly generally become relevant if someone filed a complaint?
4.) Do I need to be worried?
5.) Should I reach out to an advisor in advance or wait to hear any notification?

I am not seeking relationship advice—just trying to understand what a graduate program would realistically do if someone made a complaint based on these circumstances. And if I'm in any danger legally otherwise.

Thanks :)

Location - Washington

Random question (and im not sure if this is the right sub to ask) but I’m curious to know how professor salaries are determined/calculated. At my school, you can look up employee salaries (I have for all my professors because it’s public info and they also have said they don’t get paid enough which I was shocked to hear). Something I found interesting was that some faculty members who have more experience in teaching + research and have other roles besides being a professor get paid significantly less than those who have less experience/responsibilities. I know it differs from field to field and can depend on a combination of funding, research, and experience, but do you think other things are at play here, like gender or just being liked more ? That was also another thing I noticed, and it’s shocking to see

Hello everyone,

I'm from Nepal, and I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Civil Engineering last year. I have two research publications, and during the last fall application cycle, I emailed professors from various universities. Unfortunately, most of my emails were either ignored, received automated replies, or were met with responses saying that there were no available RA positions.

I have always been interested in research, particularly in structural engineering and earthquake engineering. I have also learned Python and its key libraries, including NumPy, Pandas, Seaborn, and Matplotlib. Recently, I completed my journey into machine learning as well.

Could someone provide me with career advice on how to secure a Research Assistant (RA) position at a reputed university?

Last week, the secretary of my university sent me an email asking if I would be interested in assisting the professor during his lab course this upcoming winter semester (it would be a 3 week thing). I was ecstatic as this is the field I am passionate about and I hoped and prayed for something like this. In the email, I was asked to give my preference for course 1 (October), 2 (November), or 3 (January). I immediately replied, saying January. I got an answer saying they already had someone for January, but I could pick October.

I am starting my Master's in October (course is a bachelor's lab), and I don't have my timetable yet, so I replied that I would still be very interested, but I don't have my timetable yet, as in I didn't want to say yes and then couldn't do it. I got a reply saying "We need someone for October if you say yes, then you must do it, if unsure say no. You have time till the end of the week to answer". I replied on Friday saying I would do it and I said sorry for the late reply I was making sure to be 1000000% free to do it. Today is Tuesday night and I got no reply. Why? I am worried I might have lost the chance of a lifetime because I didn't immediately say yes. What should I do? Should I call? Send another email? Wait longer? Give up?

Edit: grammar

I'm one of those gifted kids with ADHD. I tend to do well in classes where I am allowed the independence to study in the weird ways that work for my brain. My favorite class ever was graded 100% on tests and quizzes, with homework provided but ungraded. If I misjudged my abilities, my grade would suffer the natural consequence, and if not, I wouldn’t be penalized for skipping practice I didn’t need.

Thing is, most of my classes are... not like that. And, like, of course not! That's not a bad thing! You make a class with the average student in mind, not my freak ass, and that makes sense. But the average student is getting weaker, and at the end of the day, the university has to sell degrees to make money. So courses get padded with participation-graded homework and discussion boards that half the class writes with AI, so that people can pass without being made to learn anything. I've talked to a few of my past professors and all of them say they've made their classes easier in the past few years. But "easier" for the average student is harder for me.

Basically, my coursework is often not conducive to my learning, in a way that is related to my ADHD, but that traditional accommodations would not help. It seems that accommodations are for minimizing struggling, not maximizing success. And I'm neither struggling nor succeeding, just kinda languishing.

I've thought about asking my profs for more difficult work and/or to have my exam grades replace homework. But both seem like a lot of special treatment to ask for, and the first comes off as awfully rude and arrogant. I feel bad even complaining about this because like, oh, poor me, my classes are too easy. Waiter, my steak is too juicy. But I just know I could be doing so much more and I'd be happier for it.

(STEM, USA)

Hey everyone,

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and could really use some outside perspectives.

I'm from India, and like many people, I've always looked at the US as the place for research. At the same time, seeing news about racism, stricter immigration policies, visa uncertainty, and the general unpredictability of things lately has made me question whether I'm idealizing it too much. I've never actually been to the US, so I don't know what it's really like beyond what I read online.

For some context, I recently completed my bachelor's degree in biotechnology. I've been fortunate enough to do research in Taiwan and Japan, and honestly I enjoyed Taiwan much more. The research environment suited me, and more importantly, I found an advisor who has been one of the best mentors I've had.

He's actually a US citizen who did both his PhD and postdoc at Stanford before moving to Taiwan. He moved there to build a life with his wife and her family and eventually start his own lab. He's told me a lot about both research systems, so it's interesting hearing his perspective.

What makes this difficult is that we work really well together. He's supportive when I deserve it, but he's also honest and critical when needed. It's a really balanced mentorship style, and I don't want to lose that. I was previously an intern in his lab, and he's now encouraging me to come back, do a master's at his university (private university, decent ranking), have my tuition waived, and work part-time as an RA in his lab. The program is entirely in English and would start in February 2027.

On the other hand, I also received a fully funded fellowship for a master's in AI in South Korea starting in September 2026 (mid-tier university). AI has always been one of my interests, so academically it's exciting. The only thing that's making me hesitate is that the program is in Korean, and I barely know the language. Since it is international, I believe they would consider English to teach.. They do have intensive korean training during summer and winter breaks tho. I'm worried that I'll spend more time struggling with the language than actually enjoying the research.

The third option is to skip both master's opportunities and apply this fall to PhD programs in the US for Fall 2027 admission.

So my choices are roughly:

• Taiwan: Master's (English), tuition waived, part-time RA with a mentor I already know and genuinely enjoy working with, and possibly take up a PhD in the same lab after my master's.
• South Korea: Fully funded AI master's, but the language barrier worries me.
• United States: Apply directly for a PhD and hope I get into a good program next year (as I believe I have decent research experience)

Career-wise, I eventually want to do research in AI/computational biology and build a long-term academic career.

Part of me feels like I should take the opportunity that's already in front of me instead of chasing a possibility a year from now. Another part of me wonders if I'll regret not giving the US a shot while I'm still early in my career.

Has anyone here faced a similar decision?

Thanks!

I'd especially love to hear from people who have experienced academia in more than one of these countries.

I’m in a Spanish course online and we use ProctorU for way too many assignments. It’s meant to only be for final exams and midterms but we also use it for writing assignments

I have adhd and I already kinda fidget and dart my eyes around a bit naturally. This is documented with my university already. But I also clarified with the professor hat we were allowed to use our notes from class. I was looking at my notes while doing my exam.

Then I noticed I got a 0 on the exam and j reached out to the professor. She said according to university policy she had to give me a 0 for “repeatedly looking off to the side away from my screen”. First of all no one looks at a screen the entire time they do an assignment that’s just unrealistic and second of all my written notes wouldn’t be on the screen. I feel like jumping to me using AI or outside help from looking away alone is a bit much.

It’s a rather large assignment too. I’m not sure what to do since I infact did not cheat.

Hi! I (24/F) am starting my first adjunct role from September. However, one of my closest friend’s (who I’ve known since we were 8) younger sister already attends that university. And she will be in my class as well. I’m on really good terms with her but from a professional and ethical perspective I’m not sure if anyone at university should know about this in case it could be of harm to her? For example, I know she studies well and scores well but I wouldn’t want her hard work to be sidelined because “she’s“friends with the professor“, ”knew the questions from before” and further incorrect assumptions. And we even follow each other’s private social media instagram accounts which students might notice as well. What would be the best way to handle this situatio?

I'm in a research-centered program that's designed to prepare students for grad school and grad school apps. Over the summer, we get assigned to write a journal article on a topic of our choosing as if we're writing it for a real journal in our field (we choose a model article, we format everything to the journal's standards, etc). We each have a faculty mentor, but the program director is very exacting and detail oriented and we also have a writing coach who's awesome.

I dont know why I'm mildly crashing out over this?? I feel so overwhelmed, but I've done significant long-form research writing before. I finished my senior honors capstone this past spring when I was still in sophomore year. Research isn't new to me but I feel like I'm so out of my depth??

How would you evaluate my research skills?

I’m a community college student who developed most of my research process independently, mainly for personal curiosity.

I start broadly with encyclopedias, Wikipedia, YouTube, Reddit, forums, and general web searches. I use these to learn the vocabulary, understand the main ideas, identify disagreements, and develop better questions, not as final authorities.

I then look for college syllabi, course outlines, faculty pages, OpenStax or LibreTexts materials, textbooks, and accessible companion books. I often combine a textbook for structure with a general-audience book for clarity. I use reviews, library catalogs, and Google Books previews to judge a book’s relevance and readability.

For greater depth, I use library databases such as Explora, statewide library resources, academic articles, and primary and secondary sources. I also use librarian services and sometimes contact professors, open-resource authors, advanced students, or professionals with focused questions. I usually contact several people rather than treating one response as definitive.

I loosely apply the CRAAP test by checking currency, relevance, authority, accuracy, and purpose. I cross-check important claims, search opposing viewpoints, consider credentials and evidence, and make informal probability judgments when the answer remains uncertain.

I skim books by relevant chapters, keep light notes and basic source information, group ideas into themes, compare agreements and disagreements, identify patterns and gaps, and try to explain the topic in my own words. I stop when new sources mostly repeat what I already know and I can explain the subject clearly.

My goal is a reasonably accurate mental model rather than anything fancy. I do not always use formal citations unless required, document every search decision, read every source completely, or evaluate statistics and research methodology in depth.

How strong is this process for personal research, associate-level academic work, and upper-level undergraduate work? Where am I weakest, especially in evaluating scholarly literature, research methods, citations, and argument construction?

Hey everyone,

I'm 19,in a really bad place right now, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore.I've always tried to stay positive and set small, realistic goals for myself. During high school, I worked as hard as I could. I pulled all nighters, studied for hours, and genuinely believed I'd score maximum marks and even earn a medal. Instead, I ended up with average grades and almost failed one subject (I even had bad marks in the last two grades of hs). It felt like I had disappointed both myself and my parents (even though they've never pressured me). After that, I applied to unis, but family issues, financial problems, and some personal situations involving my brother made everything much harder. I'm not blaming them,I know I got distracted and eventually severely burned out. After I failed to get into my dream university, I completely lost the motivation to keep trying.I took a year off after high school to work on my mental and physical health, but things at home only got worse.

I even ignored all that but at this point I've lost all the motivation to study, I don't know if I'm just dumb some people around me made me feel that way too, friends and family.

Studying feels like my only way out, yet I can't seem to make myself do it consistently. I genuinely feel like there's something wrong with me. I've seen people who were in worse situations than mine end up doing much better, and I'm not saying that out of jealousy I'm just trying to understand what I'm doing wrong. I'm not doing well financially don't have much resources or money to spend in expensive courses or stuff.

Has anyone here been in a similar place? Have you managed to rebuild your discipline, improve your mindset, and get your life back on track? If so, what actually helped? Not motivational quotes,I'm looking for practical advice or habits that genuinely made a difference.

For context, my goal isn't just to get good grades. I want to build a better mindset, become more disciplined, improve my social skills, and eventually build a career in finance and economics. Right now, though, I feel like I've wasted almost two years of my life and have nothing to show for it.I know I'm still young, but it's getting harder and harder to believe that things can get better. I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been where I am and made it out. And please drop any resources/pages on any social media platforms/yt, or any books that helped you! or helped you improve yourself!

​

I'm 19 years old from India, and I'm facing a difficult decision.

The more I think about my future, the more I realize that my deepest interests are in the humanities. Literature, philosophy, critical theory, Buddhism, cinema, and long-form reading are what I genuinely want to spend my life with.

I do enjoy mathematics and theoretical physics, but if I had complete freedom and didn't have to worry about money, I don't think I would choose Physics. I would choose the humanities.

The only thing stopping me is financial reality. I come from a middle-class family, and English Literature in my country seems to have a very uncertain academic job market.

So I'm torn.

Part of me wants to leave Physics and prepare for an English Literature degree instead, possibly at Jadavpur University next year.

Another part of me is afraid that I may regret leaving a field that offers comparatively broader career options.

I'm not asking, "Which subject is easier?"

I'm asking people who have experience in academia:

Is moving from Physics to the humanities a realistic decision, or is it too risky in today's academic world?

If you were in my position, would you make the switch? Why or why not?

I'd especially appreciate hearing from people who have studied or worked in either Physics or the humanities and have seen both sides of academia.

Thank you for taking the time to read this

I’m doing a summer semester. I know it requires a lot of focus, and it’s pretty intensive since we’re cramming in a lot of work during a short period.

I admit that I have messed up! This is our final assignment in a class I already haven’t been doing well in. We had a quiz that I completely just did not take because it slipped my mind. Then for our thesis statement assignment, I turned it in late. My professor was gracious enough to email the students that hadn’t turned it in and reminded us after the due date had passed. I emailed and expressed my thanks, and hopefully I didn’t grovel too hard. I’m okay with the fact that I got a 0 on that one, since it WAS late.

For the annotated bibliography, I didn’t meet the requirements fully. I’ve been trying not to be a perfectionist about my work, and I know what I WAS able to do was quality. I got a decent grade, but we were supposed to have 5 sources, I only managed 3. I fully admit it was because I procrastinated. I also started a new job, but I didn’t communicate that well.

Nail in the coffin, my first draft was due Thursday. I thought the discussion board said Sunday. It DID say Sunday. But I guess I didn’t read the syllabus correctly? I was supposed to submit my draft Thursday and review someone else’s by today.

I can still submit peer reviews and the final assignments, but I honestly don’t know what to do.

TL;DR: I am falling behind in this class, and I want to be able to save my grade if I can. I also want my professor to know that I do care and am deeply sorry for my mistakes. What do you recommend I do? Thanks!

I'm starting my final year CS capstone project and want to make sure my workflow stays completely above board.

​Obviously, letting an LLM write the core algorithms or backend logic is cheating, but where do you draw the line for mundane tasks? Is it acceptable to use it for basic boilerplate, setup configs, or UI styling just to speed things up?

​Also, for those who sit on defense panels, what are the biggest red flags that a student didn't actually write or understand their code? Do you look closely at Git commit history to verify incremental progress?

​I want to use AI responsibly as a sounding board for architecture and edge cases without hurting my own learning, so I'd really appreciate any insights on how your departments handle this.

I graduated 2023 and in my senior year I was a teaching assistant for a professor I really enjoyed. At the time I asked him for a letter for grad school which he was happy to write, and I mentioned I can reach out when I'm closer to applying and provide my TA evaluations from students i taught and other supporting materials.

I did not speak with him since, except once via email in early 2024. I had some personal setbacks in my life and was never able to apply.

I'm now planning to apply in the 2027 cycle, so I wanted to reach out again via email or text. I'm sure he remembers me, but I'm not sure if he would remember the details of our interactions.

Is it acceptable to ask for a letter from a prof I had 3 years ago? If so what else can I provide him to help him write the strongest letter possible?

I took a history class last semester. We started out in a lecture hall with plenty of students present...for the first 2 or 3 lectures. The material was very dense and our professor wasn't terribly engaging; very old school and clearly more of a researcher, but you could tell he cared. Attendance dwindled rapidly though and towards the end of the course we'd switched to a small meeting space as you'd be lucky to see 4 students present. I'd have dropped the course too if it weren't for the fact that there was only one other person attending consistently. More than once it was just me and the professor. The idea of nobody showing up made me feel so terrible I ended up with perfect attendance. It went on like that until the final assignment: I just wasn't ready for it. I was dealing with some stuff, burned out and didn't want to disappoint my professor with subpar work so I never submitted anything. He emailed me about it, I didn't respond, I was too embarrassed. I don't know if the other student submitted theirs.

How would you deal with a situation like this - slowly losing an entire class of about 50 students? The awkward private lectures made it weirdly personal, like it was up to me to keep the course on life support. Bailing at the last minute felt like some kind of betrayal. I'm sure I've thought about this way more than he has, but still. How would you feel?

EDIT: Thanks for the replies so far! I really appreciate hearing the other perspective.

I am a newly recruited Assistant professor in my country. I am from a 3rd world poor nation. He took 4 courses under my teaching which were all undergraduate courses: Calculus 1, Calculus 2 , Probability and Numerical methods. Our college has only bachelors degree in mathematics. He did masters from a very reputed university in my country by qualifying a tough entrance test. He was a sincere student and many times he used to study books that were not covered in class.

What qualities of him should I focus on while writing a letter,so as to show that he will be a good fit for PhD program in pure mathematics?

Update: Thanks to everyone who commented. I decided to follow your advice and enforce my policy. Special thanks to the person who recommended automating the assignment closing dates, did that immediately for all assignments!

Hello Professors, grad student and first time instructor of record here. In the class I’m teaching, I set up weekly assignment due dates with progressive late penalties for up to 6 days late (the last day of submission valid for credit). I had a person submit their assignment past that hard deadline because I forgot to close the assignment portal on time on canvas (my bad). I’m wondering how strictly I should enforce my late policy.

I know according to the policy on syllabus, this should be a zero. But this is an accelerated six week online course, and the assignment is about a sixth of the total grade for the class. Thus, giving a zero without any recourse certainly means that they have locked themselves out of an A. I’m feeling conflicted, and want some advice.

I know this probably won’t be looked upon favourably by anyone in the subreddit but I’d just like some honest transparent truth from people who are probably seeing the world clearer than me.

I want to make it clear nothing I’m going through excuses cheating under any circumstances.

Recently I’ve hit quite a hard patch dealing with depression. I attempted suicide the morning of a resit exam and decided to cheat on said exam by taking my phone in. I haven’t been contacted by anyone at the uni but I feel terrible and want to hand myself in. Am I likely to get expelled, I’m struggling to find reasons to be positive or try to get better and it’s hard to bring myself to admit to the uni I cheated.

Thanks

Edit: not sure if anyone will see the edit but thanks for the kind words, i honestly thought i was gonna get berated. I wanna make it clear I am seeking help, I’ve left uni for an undetermined amount of time. I was more so looking for guidance around what to do academically.

Hi all,

I finished a paper early and I know that I could just wait to turn it in on the due date, which is Sunday, but I'd rather just turn it in now. I'm not expecting it to be graded early or anything, I'd just rather close the book on it and start on my next assignment fresh.

Would I put the date on the cover page as the due date, or would I put it as today's date? Would you knock points off if it was wrong? The paper is in APA formatting.

TIA!

I’m a high school English teacher. God knows that AI has completely changed my field in the last few years. I’m curious, at the college level, is the policy still “AI is cheating, knock it off” or are any professors leaning in to the “AI as a tool philosophy” (that my principal loves )? What’s the general policy in your classes?

Is it normal for a college professor to be scary and intimidating? We have a law professor who actually slams everything, cussed out students, humiliates them, gets angry instantly with your answer if it does not satisfy him, punish students if his favorite basketball team loses a game…I kind of understand that this approach tests and prepares students for “real life” but it sucks that it feels like a never ending cycle. Real
life shouldn’t be toxic and abusive and it’s sad that we have to be prepared for it.