I'm asexual, but a romantic. I would also consider myself on demi spectrum as well.

I met a guy a few years ago, and we became closer. He's gay, and I knew this pretty early on. As time went on, we got pretty close to the point of things being very vague. He started showing signs of liking me (talking to each other everyday, touching my arms very affectionately, and gets very giddy whenever I'm around). I also started having feelings for him around the same time, but I knew for the better to place it somewhere else given his sexual orientation. But oftentimes, he's gets too near and some boundaries seem to get vague between the two of us.

I consulted a friend, and they introduced me to the idea of a queer-platonic relationship (QPR). I researched more into it, and I realized it's exactly what we would fit into. My friend even joked "watch him ask you to get married after graduation." However, he's always very adamant with his attraction to men, and I wanted to put boundaries on where I am on his life. I didn't want to be in a life where my partner yearns for the potential of a different person.

My friend's joke came true and he actually casually asked me to get married after a big argument (related to something else). Instead of us actually properly reconciling, he waited for my mood to subside for a few days. He then asked me if I want to get married...for tax benefits. At first I thought it was a joke and a general question, so I said yes. But then I realized that there's some innuendo to it. The week after that, he was noticeably closer to me. His light touches turned into caresses and gives me more attention that before. I didn't know what to do with it given I never had experience with someone else before, and I still don't know if he was serious or not (he tends to be very light hearted).

I eventually asked him to stop touching me so much, which he obliged. It was making me uncomfortable because I wasn't sure how to interpret that type of affection. Because even after all that, he still kept talking about men.

I came to a point that if he actually wants something with me, in whatever shape or form, he'll tell me. One day, something like that happened. He told me one time that he was "asexual-adjacent" (whatever that means to him) and basically described our relationship. But the horrible part is that he never said the pronoun "you" or even my name. So I was left questioning and thinking. For a few months after that, we'll go out of our way to meet each other when we can and hang out. Every time we meet, I try to muster up the courage to finally clarify on what he said. Every time, my gut feeling said no. Partly because of cowardice, partly because of burnout from all the guessing. I eventually just asked him casually about "you said you wanted to get married?" but instead he just mentioned about marrying a guy instead. I crashed out and didn't talk to him for weeks.

We eventually started talking again (much to my dismay as I look back), but I kept my distance. However, his continuous affection persisted. It came to a point where he kept on implying marriage or a partnership every time we talked. Given his history though, I didn't want to divulge into it. And in the worst cases, he implied marriage because he didn't want to grow old alone and lonely, not because he wanted to grow old with me. Unfortunately, I still relapsed back into it.

For some time, he'd call himself asexual too. I didn't know why he kept on doing that, but I realized he thought I'd only be interested with asexual guys. But as usual, in the same day or week, he'd start talking about his interest with guys. I never believed him once whenever he said he was asexual, but he kept on insisting that we're the same.

Right now, he's more adamant on his attraction towards men (especially after going in a new environment with a lot of openly gay men). Sometimes, I don't know if it was all my delusions all this time, or that he's doing this on purpose. It's like all of what he's said and done to me was nothing, and he was just experimenting. I've come to a point where I despise any talk I hear about other people's attraction (especially coming from him). We're currently at a point where burning bridges is detrimental for my future (I won't divulge details on this), but believe me when I say that cutting of the friendship is not a viable option

I feel absolutely used. I didn't know my own sexual orientation would be used to trap me so blatantly, and much more by a friend. Even moreso as someone who's also part of the LGBTQIA+ community. It was my safe space growing up. I never would have expected that my own desire to have a connection not based on sex and on attraction would backfire like this on me. I thought I found someone I could be with based on mutual connection and care. But all I'm left was disappointment and the feeling of being betrayed. I feel very hurt.

I've considered myself as aroace for years because I don't feel sexual or romantic attraction usually. Its something that has bothered me the fact that I dont.

There is an exception being when I'm intoxicated, especially high. When I'm high I feel like I'm straight and that I actually feel attraction, and it makes me feel ok. Does anyone else experience this?

hey, so i’m 18. i have often times wondered if i am asexual. last year i was sexually assaulted/raped. it came along with a lot of trauma alongside being in an abusive relationship at the time and struggling with mental health. after being assaulted i ended up “cheating” on my then partner with people online because this rape had made me feel like i was only going to be loved or validated through how attractive i was, or how i could perform for others sexually. my ex boyfriend objectified me a lot and blamed me for my assault which made things a lot more complex. but i began to realise that i’ve never done anything sexual with someone and genuinely enjoyed it. i don’t mind making out with people and often enjoy that, but if im in a long-term relationship i often lose interest in doing sexual things completely. i find the thought of doing anything further than making out completely repulsive and scary. i’m not sure if this is due to trauma from being assaulted or genuinely just being asexual. i have fantasies about having sex but they’re always with unattainable people because that feels safer due to that situation never being able to actually happen. i don’t know honestly, i do get aroused but never for a specific real life person. i don’t feel the urge to have sex with specific people i find attractive within my personal life. i would really appreciate any and all advice, thank you :)

I'm 20nb and ive identifed as aroace for 4ish years. But im questioning my romantic orientation. Ive tried talking to some friends who are gay and pan and asked what is romantic attraction for them but they only give me answers that are sexual and romantic not just romantic. So my question are.

How do you know you experiences romantic attraction?

What is the difference between platonic and romantic attraction?

If you are polyamous or non monogamous what are the different feeling you feel for a friend or partner?

If it normal to love your friends just as much as your partners?

Thanks to anyone that answers. Im very confused about if im demiromantic because i love my friends more then other people tend to and idk if thats romantic or not. Im also polyamous and have a QPR/partner who i love deeply but i cant tell if its romantic or not.

After having a conversation with my friends I really started to realize that as a genderqueer autistic, and asexual afab I’m never gonna find a boyfriend ever and it makes me feel insanely depressed

I’m extremely sex repulsed, and I’m not really attractive on a physical level either. I feel like there’s literally no hope for me to ever find a boyfriend cause all the men I know view sex as something that’s required, and I also know they’d never see me as agender. I wish I was a different person

Over the past three years, I have noticed the following changes;

1. lost interest in Pornography and even nudity in movies to the point where I feel bored and have not accessed this type of content for months.

2. I have also noticed a biological change where my Gentlemen's area where is have become flaccid.

3. When I look at a women I only notice I her face as either "cute", "nice", "beautiful" or "nope". Unlike in the past, I no longer pay attention to the resst of her body expect is she is wearing clothing that is beautiful where I admire the color, the material and nuances of the clothing.

4. Confusion - I find myself trying to force my mind into sexual attraction, yet, I it feels like I am trying inflate a punchered tyre.

The only conlusion I can come to is that I am becoming Asexual.

One more thing: I am still a Virgin, I don't know if this is relevant

I would appreciate your thoughts and insights and perhaps if there is someone else who has gone through something like this, your story may provide valuable insights.

In the FAQ > Asexuality Resources, the Asexuality Comic #1 links to a forum post with broken images, and should probably be replaced with the original post at https://adriofthedead.tumblr.com/post/65540442968/okay-i-realize-this-hilariously-late-for

Asexuality Comic #2 gives a 404 error

10 Things You Need to Know About Asexuality points to a page with no article

My partner and I have been together for almost a year now (around 8ish months) we only had sex in the first 2 months of our relationship. She expressed to me that she was worried when we first got together id be disappointed if we didn’t have sex. I would like to clarify I am the consent police, at no time did I think she didn’t want to and she said yes to everything I asked and asked ect. She said shes sorry that she set unfair standards in our relationship in beginning. We’ve only talked about it 2 times. I asked last night making this a third time, if over the 5 days we’ll have together soon if we could try and have sex if she’s comfortable and in the mood. And that I was wondering what sex looked like for her and what she wanted it to be. She said yes and then apologized to me, but ignored me for like the rest of the day and seemed irritated. Id like to say shes told me her sex drive is very low in our previous conversations but that she wouldnt go her whole life without it. I was looking at her pintrest board being stalkerish, and there was around 3 pins about being DL asexual. Granted they couldve been from a while ago, but what do I do?? I am so invested in this girl at this point. I love her so much and I dont want my needs to hurt her. But I am hurting, and I feel like she isnt being honest.

G'day everyone! Hope y'all are doing well. I wanted to vent this to you. It's sincerely quite hard to be ace in Latin America. Latin American culture is well known for having a luscious/sexy style, that completely makes me feel left out because I don't understand people when they are taking about their night stands, sexy dances & my primo Luis speaking of his partner and him delivering a sexual joke up in the air unjudged, but if my family got the chance to inquire about my sexual life, they would probably be mad at me, so I dodge it.

I have tried a few websites to look for a partner (months ago) but now, I have just surrendered. I can merely find someone interested in me in a non sexual way,and the only places I can find people are from countries far away, that at the end are fake profiles or have different life paths than mine.

Any experience?

I want to see what the gender proportions of the Asexual community is and I’m sure we all do

I like the drink a lot lmao. The other thing not so much.

I was so nervous to tell him because I thought he’d break up with me. After we slept together for the first time, I told him I’m asexual and sex is not something I’m up for doing often. I’m willing to have it sometimes to satisfy my partner but I’m pretty much sex repulsed and not up for it most of the time.

He was super understanding and asked me questions about asexuality. He then told me he’s not with me for sex and is with me because he loves my personality and who I am. I even told him that I have a history of sexual trauma and it contributes to my asexuality and he didn’t judge me or anything and said he was really sorry I experienced the trauma. He knows about my mental illness and history of treatment centers and self harm (noticed one of my scars and asked about it) and he hasn’t run away screaming.

He’s been nothing but respectful and honest and communicative. I really like this guy and I’m so happy he still wants to be with me.

I’ve seen this happen twice now and I’m baffled by this every time…

So in my university friend group, there are two dudes who’re in a relationship (let’s call the R and A).
One day while we were hanging out in uni, A took on R’s glasses for a bit and R completely lost his composure. Mind you they’ve known each other for months, been together for a while and I’ve never seen R like this. I don’t know if he played it up for laughs but the way he acted, I don’t think so - he just genuinely lost it. It got so bad that the two of them left to go to the restroom and returned like 15-20 minutes later (we all know for what).
You’ve seen this person all this time but glasses get you THAT riled up???

Yesterday, a similar thing happened when I took a friend of mine (let’s call her L) to hang out with said university friend group. L met one of them (P) for the first time and didn’t think much of him. Later though, all of us got to try on L’s glasses and she took them off of P’s face before he even had them fully on and got flustered. She seemed really embarrassed when I joked about her not handling P in glasses and me and another friend (K) quickly caught on to why (especially because we both witnessed the A & R incident).
Later, K put the glasses on P again to tease L and two things happened:
1. L said she had to go to the restroom for a bit and I can only imagine why. She returned after like a minute, but she definitely went there to calm down - however she did that
2. K took a few pictures of P in glasses and sent them to me to forward them to L for later (😏), but she refused. Later, she did ask me if I can actually send them and I did.

I’m kinda baffled by this ngl…

Side note: L has talked to me the day before about how she want to have sex with attractive men that are her type but less/not at all with her boyfriend/someone she’s in a relationship with (she has a bf btw) and how she’s frustrated with the fact that she for example was a bit disappointed when someone who was her type expressed not wanting anything romantic or physical with her, despite her also expressing that (because she has a bf). It makes her feel extremely bad especially and that she’s not made for relationships.
I couldn’t consult her about it because I can’t really relate and that makes me feel bad…

I just want someone I can relate to and hang out with on a more mental, emotional, and even spiritual level rather than something physical. I mean, I do identify as asexual being I'm not really about sex most of the time, but if me and my would-be partner started fooling around then whatever happens from there is history. I just don't get the whole "I hope they want to fuck" mentality. It'd just be nice to have a life companion who is willing to understand who I am and I'm willing to get to know them the same way. I dunno. Just ranting I guess. Sorry folks.

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