This happened today. My mother in law is currently living with us this week and my wife has been treating me very badly as usual(making snarky comments and raising her voice with contempt). All of these verbal abuses and snarky attitude seems invisible to my mother in law. Then after a whole day of dealing with this attitude,the final straw happened when she keeps on nagging me to do a chore (not urgent) while I'm in the middle of focusing on my work. I did the chore even if that's against my will just to make her stop bugging me then I just sighed and said:"oh my god i hate your attitude". She hates it when I answer back but I couldn't help myself this time. So she points out to her mom that I'm being disrespectful and her mother naturally takes her side. I snapped and yelled at them to review the cctv recording to really understand what really happened. I argued with loud voice that her mother keeps on tolerating her daughter's attitude that's why she grew up very rude like that. Now I regret losing my temper and saying all the things that I said even though they're all 100% true. For some weird reason her mother seems to be oblivious of her daughters attitude and can only see my flaws. Just for added context: I carry my own weight around the house, pay for all the bills, take care of our toddler 50-60% of the time, do 80-90% of the chores. We both work from home but my work requires 10x the effort and focus, she just really works like 1-2 hours per day. My salary is 2x her salary but I don't give her any allowances because I already pay for everything and I'm investing our money to buy a house for our family. I have other side hustles that's earning decent. I sleep 5 hours a day, she sleeps 8 hours.

I need anger management really bad. I don't like this version of me. I'm not like this before we got married. I never shouted at women before we got married. I have never answered back at my parents or older sisters. I feel that I've been treated so badly by my wife for the past few years that shouting and yelling became my defense mechanism to make her stop the verbal abuse. I feel bad for losing my temper and my reputation also gets damaged because my mother in law and my wife tells everyone (friends and family) about my bad attitude. I want to change very badly and instantly. I'm very very tired of being an angry person ever since we got married.

Recently, I've noticed how whenever I die or lose, I take it personally, and try to get my getback, but whenever I can't, it's either i can manage it calmly or ABSOLUTELY spiral into anger. Shouting, punching hard things, swearing, etc.

I know it's just a game, and that there are zero consequences for losing, but losing always feels so devastating, not being able to push through feels like absolute shit to me. And it's gone to a point where I even act like this on singleplayer games.

Enough is enough and I really want advice regarding this. I wanna say this in advance though, I am still a freshman at college awaiting my classes (they start in two weeks) and I cannot get into therapy, even if I had the money for it. I just want a way to stop this constant cycle, and I genuinely cannot get into any other recreational hobby, and even cycling hasn't stopped me from feeling this way.

I actually do have an anger problem. People always tell me that I have to stop taking things to heart and just let some stuff go. However, there are times when I should be angry and ik it'd be justified but I just can't make myself feel mad? I can't even get irritated or annoyed. What's up with that??? 😭😭😭

I sometimes become impatient when plans change, people are late, or things take longer than expected. I do not want to react negatively in the moment, especially with people I care about. What are some practical ways to pause, stay calm, and respond more patiently?

23 (M)

I can be doing GREAT and then people in my life can cause the smallest inconvenience (not on purpose) and it will totally wreck me for x amount of time. Anywhere from hours to days I will remain emotionally unavailable to said people and it’ll make me uncomfortable to be around. Eventually, I just wake up one day as if I had a system restart and then im fine till the next occurrence. To them, they can’t understand how something inadvertent can put me into silent treatment mode. To me, I genuinely believe i’m right to be upset. I know theres no way that i can be 100% valid for getting as upset as I do ALL the time. Its just the funk I get myself into is so hard to get out of. I try to communicate my feelings about a conflict that has made me shut down but I end up just reliving all the emotions again and i’m back to square one and any attempted “understanding” goes out the window. Therapy and meditation doesn’t work for me. Journaling is okay but the drive just isnt there when im in such a state, the same goes for the gym. The only thing I’m maybe up to try is getting on mood stabilizers, but even then I have people telling me no and that it’ll just turn me into a zombie. That honestly doesn’t sound too bad if it means I can stop constantly making people feel like I hate them. What do y’all do to calm down?

TL;DR: Any calm down techniques thats not therapy, meditation, journaling, or gym?