My mom has decided that the best way to make me independent is to not do anything for me. This means I'm responsible to keep my own room clean, do my own shopping, cook my own meals etc. It feels like I'm not even part of the family. If I don't cook one night, I stay hungry. They won't let me eat their food.

A few days ago my grandpa was sick and mom had to go visit him. She left little brother(M10) with me. As usual I cooked dinner for myself with my own groceries.

He asked me for food and I told him I'm only responsible for myself and he has to wait for mom.

When mom came back she was furious and called me an asshole for not feeding him.

I have a really close 25 year friendship with a woman who was so loving and supportive when I came out to her as bisexual (let's call her Trudy).

6 months ago I met the love of my life and we have have a wonderful relationship (let's call her Anna).

Anna has met almost all my friends except Trudy (who lives far away). Yesterday I arranged to meet up with Trudy to introduce her to my girlfriend. However, because Trudy couldn't find a babysitter, she said she'd bring her 3 kids with her (all under 12).

A couple of hours before we were due to meet up, Trudy texted to ask if it's okay to introduce Anna to her kids as my friend, rather than my girlfriend. She said they won't understand that she's my girlfriend and she's not ready to have that talk with them yet.

I was totally taken aback by this request and said no. I said that I'm not comfortable being in an environment where my relationship isn't acknowledged and I don't want to hide who my girlfriend is to me. I said that if she isn't ready to talk to the kids about same sex relationships (which admittedly is a big subject!), it might be better if we reschedule to another time.

Trudy was very hurt and said she has been incredibly supportive of the relationship and isn't asking me to hide anything. I'm very hurt by her response and so upset. I feel like I've extended a lot of kindness and understanding to her, whilst holding my own boundaries. I'm not asking her to discuss anything with her kids that she's uncomfortable with, but I'm not prepared to put myself or my girlfriend in that situation.

Trudy genuinely doesn't understand my position and now isn't replying to my texts.

This is a friend who has been nothing but supportive and loving to me for 25 years, and has been so excited about my new relationship.

AITA for not meeting up with her unless she introduced my girlfriend as my girlfriend?

My wife has a severe shellfish allergy. She can have a serious allergic reaction. Because of that, we don’t allow shellfish in our home. Unfortunately, we live on the coast, so seafood and shellfish restaurants are very common. If I eat shellfish we have a no kissing rule for 24 hours. 

My sibling and their family also live nearby, and my mom is currently visiting. She’s staying with my sister, and her birthday dinner is tomorrow. She’ll be flying home this weekend.

My mom loves seafood, so she wanted to celebrate her birthday at a seafood restaurant. The restaurant serves a lot of shellfish, so my wife isn’t comfortable going because of the risk. I completely understand that.

My wife told my mom she wouldn’t be able to attend, and my mom said, “No big deal.” My wife was upset by that response. She feels it was rude that my mom didn’t offer to change the restaurant, and she feels left out since everyone else is going.

I suggested she could still come, have a drink, and just not order food. Her allergy is not airborne. She said that would be awkward and that she doesn’t want to go to the restaurant at all. I said I understood and told her I still planned to go.

That’s when we got into an argument. She’s upset that I want to go to a restaurant where she can’t safely eat. She thinks I shouldn’t go if she can’t go. I told her I wasn’t willing to miss my mom’s birthday dinner since I don’t see her after even if she can’t attend.

She wants me to tell my mom to change the restaurant or else I won’t be there. I told her I wasn’t going to do that because I think it’s an unreasonable expectation.

My spouse and I have worked hard our whole lives, and we’re now in a very comfortable financial position. We could retire tomorrow if we wanted to, but we both enjoy working and plan to continue.

We have three children, and we paid for all of their college educations so they graduated debt-free. We didn’t put any stipulations on what they could study. Looking back, maybe we should have.

Two of our children have very solid careers, while one does not. This is about my daughter, who I’ll call Maria. Maria earned a degree that doesn’t translate well into a high-paying career. She later went back to get her master’s degree, but that didn’t improve her earning potential either.

She’s struggling financially, and there has been talk of her going back to school again for a nursing degree, although that would be a difficult transition.

My spouse and I believe that if you’re mature enough to get married, you’re mature enough to pay for your own wedding.

Our oldest child got married last year and paid for the wedding themselves. It was a lovely wedding. Our second child is getting married next month, and they are also paying for their own wedding, which will be fairly expensive.

Maria recently got engaged, but she and her fiancé don’t have the money to have a wedding like her siblings did. She asked if we would pay for it.

I told her no and said they should have the wedding that she and her future husband can afford. She was upset because she knows we have more than enough money to give her a fancy wedding like her siblings had. She thinks it’s unfair that she can’t have her dream wedding simply because she earns less than they do.

I told her that’s just how life works. you pay for what you can afford.We don’t believe it’s our responsibility to pay for an adult child’s wedding.

She thinks I’m being unfair and rubbing our money in her face by refusing to help

My sister called me this morning asking if she could borrow my bike because she has none. She wanted to visit a friend who lives about a 10-minute bike ride or a 20-minute walk from our house.

At the time, I was planning on heading to the gym, so I told her no. She accepted it in the moment without making a big deal out of it.

Here is where it gets complicated: I didn't end up leaving for the gym right away in that one hour time window. I got distracted on my phone and lost track of time. I still fully intended to go, but I just hadn't left yet.

Since my sister doesn't own a bike and I said no to mine, she decided to take an older bike belonging to our dad. During her ride, something broke on it.

About 70 minutes after her initial call, I walked into the room where my sister and dad were. Both of them were furious with me, blaming me for what happened and demanding that I apologize. Their logic seems to be that if I had just let her borrow my bike, dad's bike wouldn't be damaged...

My argument is that I didn't do anything wrong. I genuinely planned on going to the gym when she called, even if I got sidetracked on my phone. Furthermore, even if I had left for the gym immediately, the exact same thing would have happened with dad's bike anyway.

They are still mad at me, but I don't feel like I'm at fault here.

AITA for saying no to lending my bike in the first place?

Hi guys,

We recently moved into our new forever home a few years ago and a lot has happened. My wife and I had a baby boy and life has been amazing, but with kids it’s also been stressful and busy.

As a way to decompress and also make our house feel like ours I’ve been landscaping and planting shrubs and all sorts of plants around the yard. It’s been really helpful to help destress and it’s cool to watch things grow and see all the hard work you put in finally pay off.

Long story short my MIL has been nothing but disrespectful when it comes to the early years with my son. Constantly crossing boundaries and going against what my wife and I say (mostly safety concerns it’s felt really violating) I’ve said my peace with her and moved on from things, but as far as a relationship with her I keep her 5 feet away.

Today she came over to visit while I was at work and before she left she cut a ton of flowers all over our yard for her own personal bouquet. My wife gave her permission so I feel even more betrayed about it. It might sound stupid to some people but I worked really hard. It’s violating to me for someone to take what they want especially when you’re not ok with them in the first place.

AITA for not wanting my MIL to cut my flowers?

I am an artist who makes and teaches students how to make stained glass windows. One of my students found out that I was about to start a window for a couple that he now knows through another friend and then convinced the couple to drop me and go with him to make the window. I had already drawn a 1/4 size sketch to see if it was something the customer wanted and now my student expects me to draw it out full sized and actually help him make it. It's too large to work on in class-- we have always had a maximum size limitation that this almost doubles. Working on a window this size would displace another student. Also, I'm supposed to store the window week to week so he won't have to lug it back and forth from home since it's so large. AITA for telling him that it can't be worked on in the shop and that I am not drawing a full size pattern (57 x 34) for him? I told him he could have a copy of the sketch. Win or lose I plan on showing him this.

My boyfriend (28) and I (33) live together in a loft with one bedroom.

This morning I had a second-round interview at 11:30 a.m. for a job I really want. I recently left my previous job, so getting this one is really important to me. I wanted to do the interview at our kitchen table because that's where I have the best setup. We have a bedroom upstairs, but there's no desk or workspace there. Also I didn't want to lay in the bed with my laptop.

Before the interview, I asked him, "Can you do me a huge favor? Would you mind taking a 15-minute walk while I do my interview?"

I asked because I wanted a quiet apartment and thought it would help me focus. I wasn't telling him he had to leave, just asking if he'd be willing to do me a favor.

He immediately said he didn't understand my thought process and asked, "What planet are you from to even ask something like that?" He also said, "What if I had a meeting at the same time?" He didn't actually have a meeting—it was just a hypothetical. If he did, I wouldn't have asked... then I would have just gone to the room...

He also said that we both live here and he shouldn't have to leave his own home just because I had an interview.

When I told him I thought it mattered that I asked politely and that I had started with, "Can you do me a huge favor?", he responded with something like, "If I asked you nicely to eat poop, would you do it?" His point was that asking nicely doesn't automatically make a request reasonable.

At one point he also asked, "Do the cats have to go too?" I laughed and jokingly replied, "Yeah, sure, take the cats too." It was obviously a joke, but the conversation turned into an argument, and he said I was being a jerk for even asking.

I understand that it's our home and he has every right to stay there. I just thought asking for a one-time, 15-minute favor before an important second interview wasn't unreasonable. I wasn't upset that he said no—I was more surprised by how strongly he reacted to me asking in the first place.

AITA for asking?

New account since my daughter does know my other account.

When my daughter was in school, she became friends with a girl named Kelly. They stayed close through college, and my daughter was even one of Kelly’s bridesmaids when she got married.

To explain where my daughter’s behavior came from, my ex-husband cheated on me repeatedly, and our marriage ended horribly. My daughter doesn’t speak to her father anymore, and she absolutely despises cheating.

About seven years ago, my daughter became convinced that Kelly was cheating on her husband. She started harassing Kelly online and essentially blew up her life. By the time my daughter found out that the man she had seen Kelly with was actually a relative ( they were at a fancy restaurant together) it was too late. Kelly’s marriage had already fallen apart, and because we live in a very religious community, she was ostracized by many people.

They had a huge falling out, and it basically came down to my daughter ruining Kelly’s life. Kelly blocked her on everything and eventually moved away. Kelly hated my daughter after that, and so did her mother. I still run into Kelly’s mother occasionally, and she has made her feelings about my daughter very clear.

The issue is that Kelly recently passed away. My daughter found out through a Facebook post, and the funeral is this weekend, two states away.

My daughter was planning to attend the funeral, and I told her that I thought it was a terrible idea. She said she needed to go, and I told her again that she shouldn’t. We got into an argument, and she said she had every right to mourn her friend and attend the funeral.

I told her that she really didn’t have the right to mourn Kelly or go to the funeral because Kelly hated her after everything that happened, and because my daughter had destroyed her life.

She hasn’t spoken to me since. Now I’m wondering if I should warn Kelly’s family that my daughter might show up at the funeral. Or that I might be in the wrong here?

My sister (29F) has been married to the same man (46M) for around 7 years now. This is his second marriage and her first. They have a daughter together, whom I’ll call “Cece.”

My sister is a very smart person. She’s highly educated (three degrees!), independent, and doesn’t take nonsense from anyone—except for her husband. He yells at her in public, diminishes her intelligence, bosses her around, makes sexual jokes about other women in her presence, and even makes homophobic jokes towards me (I’m gay).

My family has been waiting for the marriage to end for years. We all hate him. We know she can do so much better.

But they have a daughter together, and she’s the driving force behind me wanting to tell my sister she has to leave.

Her daughter is 5 now, and she’s began to pick up on her dad’s treatment towards her mom. We went on a family vacation a few weeks back and my niece said to me, “Are boys supposed to talk to girls like dad does?”

My heart broke. I had no idea how to respond, because I obviously wanted to say, “No. Men are supposed to respect women and treat them with dignity.” But knowing her dad, he’d probably scream at my sister if he heard that I told their daughter that.

My sister cares about her daughter more than anything. And the last thing that I want is for my niece to be raised by a man who sees women as objects. She’s already picking up on his misogyny and I don’t want to see it affect her even more.

I (26F) live with my childhood best friend (25F) in a rented house in a little seaside town in the UK. We’ve always got on really well and never really had any issues until now.

She’s been seeing her boyfriend for about 8 months. At the start he’d stay over every now and then which obviously I didn’t care about, but now he’s here all the time. Like probably 5 or 6 nights a week. He showers here, cooks here, watches TV here, works from home here sometimes… he’s just always around.

The thing is he has his own flat. It’s not like he has nowhere else to go, he literally lives about 20 minutes away.

I know people are going to say “it’s only one extra person” but you definitely notice it. The bathroom’s always occupied, the washing machine is constantly on, the bins fill up quicker, our bills have gone up and I just don’t really feel like it’s my home anymore because there’s nearly always someone else here.
I finally said something to her and tried to be nice about it. I basically said I wasn’t asking him to never stay over, but if he’s here this much then either they should spend more time at his place or he should chip in towards the bills because he’s here more than he’s not.

She got really annoyed and said I was acting like some miserable landlord and that I’m trying to charge her boyfriend for visiting. I said I don’t think someone who’s here almost every day is really “visiting” anymore.

Now it’s really awkward. She’s barely speaking to me and I can tell she’s told a few people because one of our friends messaged saying I was being unfair and that couples naturally spend loads of time together.
I do get that, and if he stayed over a couple of nights a week I honestly wouldn’t care. I just didn’t sign up to live with a couple.
AITA?

I live in a block of flats in the UK that has one allocated parking space per plot number. They are numbered with the plot number accordingly.

I don’t actually have a car, so my space is empty most of the time, however there was an incident a few days ago that I’d like an opinion on.

My neighbour and her husband both have a car, but only the one space between them. Her husband seems to have their allocated spot, and she seems to just park wherever she can. She had been parking in a different neighbours space until about 2 weeks ago when they got a car themselves and understandably asked her to stop parking there so they could have it. Instead, now she has taken it upon herself to just take mine as it’s mostly empty.

This was frustrating but I let it slide until my MIL came to drop my son home and found my space taken up by the neighbours car, she ended up parking in another neighbours space while they happened to be out because there was nowhere else available. I was worried it would cause issues someone else when they returned home but my MIL only stayed briefly before leaving.

This was when I had enough and wrote a note on some paper and put it on the neighbours windscreen under the wiper blade. I explained the situation and asked her to stop parking there as I may need it for any guests I may have over. I also wrote my door number and plot number as it’s not immediately obvious.

I thought that would be the end of it, but yesterday I woke up to that some bit of paper on my doorstep with her writing on the back. Her response was along the lines of her and her husband are finding it difficult to both park here overnight and they’re usually both gone during the day at work. She also said my MIL should have parked in the visitor bays instead.

She’s completely missed the point. whether my MIL should have used visitors bay is irrelevant. It’s MY space, and if I want my guests to park in MY space, they should be able to. Also, if I went out and bought a car tomorrow, what would she do then?

It’s not really my responsibility that both her and her husband have a car each, regardless if they are parked there during the day or not. She shouldn’t just assume that because mine is empty that it’s ok for her to park in without even asking!

Now she’s making me feel petty because “I don’t even have a car”, but that’s not the point. If anything, I think she is being petty arguing with me on a piece of paper and leaving it on my doorstep!

AITA?!

EDIT: I’m in the UK! Towing is not an option here!

My dad (M42) cheated on my mom (F41) with his now-wife (F28) when I (M15) was 11. My dad lied to his now-wife about his marital status as well as other things, and when she became pregnant, he confessed to my mom, and issued divorce papers. She wanted to reconcile. He didn't. The divorce was rough and it established 50-50 custody.

My mom hates my dad's new wife. Absolutely despises. She thinks of her as a homewrecker and someone who seduced my dad away from her. This hate basically extends throughout my mom's side of the family as well. She thinks that after she found out he had a wife, she should have left and encouraged them to reconcile. I think of the new wife as more of a victim than anything. She came to the U.S. for work, was lied to by someone over 10 years older than her, comes from a culture that strongly condemns children out of wedlock, and basically needed to marry my dad for financial stability for her and her child.

My dad's new wife is very kind to me. She encourages my dad to invest in my activities and to spend more time with me. She cooks food that's really good and like nothing I've ever had before. She's also a good mom to my half-sister (F3). I've always wanted to have siblings, and she's done a great job at building a relationship between my sister and me.

Now, this is the issue. My stepmom works full-time, but because her work schedule is demanding and my dad frequently travels for business, she sometimes struggles with childcare. Recently, she decided to take some courses that would help advance her career. I started stepping in to help her by babysitting my sister on the evenings she had classes, helping her review study materials, and running small errands for her.

However, my mom recently found out. While looking through my backpack, she saw some of the study materials I accidentally took from my stepmom, and she exploded. She said that by helping "that woman", I was actively supporting the person who destroyed our family. She feels I should refuse to do anything that benefits my stepmom in any way. My aunts also found out and they were telling me I was betraying my mom and being disrespectful to her.

I feel terrible for hurting my mom, but I also don't think my stepmom deserves to be treated like an enemy.

AITA for helping my dad's new wife even though my mom hates it?

When my daughter was around 10 I remarried to her stepmom who had her own daughter who was 9. 

They got along for the most part until recently. In short my daughter is jealous.  I’ll call any daughter Ash. My stepdaughter ( Emma fake name ) has recently reconnected with her grandparents on her father’s side. The grandparents have money to burn and are retired. 

I want to point out that before they came into the picture my daughter was the one to receive nicer gifts from my her mom side of the family. Example: they’re have been a few time Ash  went on vacations that my step daughter wasn’t allowed to go on or got more expensive stuff. I can’t stop my ex wife on spoiling her or her family. 

So the issue has been Ash  has been jealous of Emma recently because Emma’s grandparents are giving her stuff. That stuff will sometimes be in our home. I’m not going to ban her bringing her gift to her place she lives at 50% of the time.

One example is Emma got the newest phone and my daughter wanted her iPhone upgraded. I told her we don’t have the money at the moment and she said it was unfair his step sister got the newest phone.  She wasn’t very happy. We had a conversation and brought up the stuff she has gotten but Emma hasn’t over the years. 

Ash is 16 and Emma is 15. Emma’s grandparents got her a 6000 dollar purse for back to school. I don’t get it but Emma seemed to really like and that she is using it. It’s her first real purse. 

My daughter was jealous when she saw it becuase she knew the brand. Ash asked if she could borrow it and Emma told her no. They got into an argument and I stopped it and reiterated that is was Emma’s.

Well Ash decided to destroy the purse. She cut some of the leather and popped some of the seams. My wife’s ex husband was pissed and my wife replaced the purse with her own money ( we really didn’t have that to blow) 

I discussed it with my wife and we are making Ash pay back the purse. We already took 4000 that she earned this summer form her job and made it clear that for her next paychecks she is to give us 50 % until it is paid.

Ash has been upset some and she  ran to her mom. Who has had a lot of things to say about this 

She claims we are being too harsh. 

I (23F) moved out of my mom's house when I was 19. I've been living with my partner (23M) ever since, as we went to college together. My relationship with my mom is generally fine, and I visit her on holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. My parents are divorced, so she lives by herself. She’s in her 60s, but she keeps herself busy and is very active.

Since I left, she's frequently complained that she doesn't have money for anything because my father's pension goes directly to me now. She lives at the beach and wants to rent her house out to vacationers during the summer to make extra cash. Because of this, she is being very insistent about staying with me during that time.

I understand her financial situation is not ideal (even though I don't entirely trust her money management), but I really don't want her moving in for the summer. For one, I don't want to invade my partner's privacy. He is not her biggest fan because he knows what my childhood was like and the trauma I have from it (nothing serious, just girl's mommy issues). He is obviously respectful, polite, and tries to keep things cool, but living together is a different story.

I love her very much, but I have to admit she's not the nicest person in general. She has a habit of saying mean things disguised as "jokes." Whenever she's around for a longer period of time, I start feeling anxious and annoyed.

I haven't given her a firm no, and I can already feel she's annoyed by the idea of me not allowing it. She has the history of guilt-tripping me, saying things like, "You just don't like me," and accusing me of "choosing him over your own mother."

AITA?

I bought myself a nice new laptop last month after saving for a while. It's mainly for my work-from-home job, but I also use it for personal stuff like editing photos and gaming My sister recently started a small side hustle making social media content and graphics. She asked if she could "borrow" my laptop for a few weeks because hers is super slow and keeps crashing. I said no because I need it for my actual job and I'm worried about it getting damaged or having too much stuff installed on it.She got really upset and told our parents that I'm being selfish and unsupportive of her trying to make money. Our mom called me saying family should help each other and it's "just a laptop." Now there's family group chat drama and my sister is giving me the silent treatment.I offered to help her troubleshoot her current laptop or even lend her money toward a cheap replacement, but she only wants mine. AITA?

My boyfriend and I just moved in together, for background we're both short. I'm 5'1 and he's 5'4 neither of us can reach the top shelf of anything in our house.

When I lived by myself I had many step stools, had a childhood stepstool I use as a poop stool and various of random stools around my place. My boyfriend however would either use a wheelchair and multiple times almost fall to his room or would climb and stand on his countertop to reach stuff. Both those things were extremely unsafe and put me on edge watching him.

Moving in together we both had to consolidate some of our things, I ditched a lot of the step stools except my childhood one that stays in the bathroom. It's been a month and we're both struggling, can't reach pots, can't reach spaghetti noodles, can't reach cups, ect.

So I bought new stools, he comes home and flips, goes off how he won't be using it and how I'm emasculating him, and how it'll be embarrassing when his friends come over and see he needs step stools around the house. It was such a big outbursts I got calls from his mom and sister, how just climbing on the countertop is what they've always done(everyone is very short in his family). So was I an asshole to buy new step stools for the house?

I (27m) am a tattoo artist. I met my friend “James” (30m) as a client 3 years ago, and we became friends, I’d now consider him one of my closest friends.

Last month I tattooed “Alexis” (29f). During her appointment she told me that while on a break with her longtime boyfriend she’d started seeing a new guy. Then she and her boyfriend got back together, but she kept seeing the new guy. Neither of them knew about the other.

It’s common for clients to treat tattoo appointments like therapy, and I don’t mind. Many clients talk to me about personal issues. I told her she needed to be honest with both of them.

Two weeks later James hosted a gathering and introduced me to his new girlfriend, “Allie.” It was Alexis. James had mentioned an Allie before, but I hadn’t realized it was a nickname for Alexis, (not her real name but a similar name/nickname situation) and she didn’t know I knew James. When he introduced us she smiled and said, “Nice to meet you,” I was confused and caught off guard, so I didn’t bring up tattooing her recently.

Important context: James’s last relationship ended after his partner secretly got back with her ex.

My first instinct was to tell James. My boyfriend agreed, but I felt conflicted because while tattoo artists aren’t legally bound to confidentiality, there is a strong expectation of trust.

I saw three possibilities if I didn’t tell James right away:

1. Allie eventually confessed and James learned I’d known all along.
   
2. Allie broke up with James without explaining why, and I had to either pretend I never knew or admit I did but kept quiet.
   
3. Allie never tells him and I have to decide later whether to say something. None of those felt right.

So I called James the next day and told him. He was devastated because it was the first real connection he’d made since his ex, but he thanked me and ended things before getting more invested.

That night Allie messaged me. She said she had planned to tell James and end things with the other guy, but wanted to do it compassionately and that I’d forced the conversation before she was ready. She also said repeating something she’d told me in what she believed was a safe space was a betrayal of trust. I told her I was sorry for forcing her hand, but that James deserved to know. She never replied.

The next morning I asked a coworker. She said I should have given Allie a few more days and that crossing professional boundaries for personal reasons was unethical. She also warned it could hurt my reputation if Allie retaliated.

Part of my decision was concern for James, but part was also selfish: I worried our friendship would be damaged if he later found out I’d known and said nothing. I’m still conflicted. Any other choice wouldn’t have sat right with me, but I’m wondering if I handled it wrong.

tldr: I’m a tattoo artist. A client told me she was cheating on her new boyfriend with her ex. Later I realized her new boyfriend was one of my closest friends, and I told him.

I (M18) live with my mother (F41) in California. I used to live with my father who was abusive so I moved in with my mother at 11. She lived in a one bedroom apartment so for the meantime I didnt have a room or my own place to sleep. She said we would eventually move to an apartment with 2 rooms. Fast forward 7 years and I still don’t have a room and now she drives an even fancier car than the one she had before.

She works, trimming weed trees for a decade. I got a job when I was 16 at chipotle because my mother give me any money and that isn’t a complaint I could care less about having an allowance. My mother gets benefits like low income child support food stamps. She takes vacations frequently. Egypt, Dubai, Armenia, Hawaii, Yosemite, Zion, all in the span of a year. She is trying to become a singer and has invested thousands into music lessons, music videos, producers and hasn’t made any money yet. What I am trying to put down here is that my mother has her own priorities and lifestyle that she wants to live while neglecting her only child.

I have been paying for all of my own personal expenses like phone bill, phone finance, gym membership, subscriptions, hygienic essentials, basically everything. Despite of my low maintenance for her, she wants me to pay half the rent and utilities I simply said no. I said as long as you drive a Mercedes that runs you 1000 month, I will not pay your bills. Not only will I not, but I can’t in the first place. I make maybe 1000 a month and what she’s demanding is more than that let alone my personal expenses.

She refuses to let me use the ebt card and lied saying they cut off the benefits. I check this morning and there is a 500 dollar deposit for food stamps alone on the card. I don’t know the pin and I cant even afford to buy my own groceries. Yes I could technically use my hard earned paychecks but that would cut them in half basically and I already pay for other things.

I’m not full time and the money I make is enough to pay for personal expense and my hobby of hiking and mountain climbing. Some people might say oh well you can go hike and camp with your friends but you can’t buy your own groceries. I’m 18 and just graduated high school. Let me live a little. This is the best way I could spend in terms of fun. And those expenses are pitching gas cost of driving out to sequoia and the sierras for example and camp costs and getting gear for the hikes and mountain climbs. This is the only thing I do that is an “entertainment” expense. If I simply bought my own groceries I couldn’t even do that. Which is why it’s so nice that we get SNAP benefits but what isn’t nice is that I’m not allowed to use them according to my mom even though she definitely gets more money for being a single “mother”.

Conclusion: AITA for refusing to pay my mother’s bills which would cost about the same regardless if I lived with her or not. And AITA for wanting to use our ebt card to buy groceries instead of my own money.

My friend (27F) asked if she could stay with me (26F) for a weekend because she wanted a break from work and said she’d love to catch up. We’ve been friends for years, so I happily said yes. I cleaned the apartment, stocked the fridge with snacks I knew she liked, and even planned a couple of activities around town.

The first evening was fine but by Saturday morning I realized I had accidentally booked myself as the unpaid staff at an all inclusive resort.

She slept until almost noon while I made breakfast. When she finally got up, she asked if I could make her coffee because she was “still waking up”. She left her dishes on the table, dropped her clothes on the bathroom floor, and every time we got back from somewhere she’d collapse on the couch and ask if I could grab her water because I was already standing or moving about.

I suggested we go for a walk, visit a local market, watch a movie, or even play board games. Every suggestion got a shrug followed by, Whatever you want or if you say so, only for her to complain once we were there that she was bored or tired. I guess her social battery was low and she just needed to rest.

By Sunday I’d done all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the driving, and she’d contributed exactly one thing, a growing pile of cups and blankets for me to pick up, at first it was okay but now it’s the norm.

The breaking point came when I started washing the breakfast dishes before taking her to the airport. She looked at me and asked if I could hurry, that she doesn’t want to be late. She didn’t offer to help despite standing there scrolling on her phone.

I finally said, “I love you, but hosting you has been exhausting. I feel like I’ve spent the weekend taking care of you instead of spending time with you.”

She got defensive and said that guests are supposed to relax and that I was making her feel unwelcome over a few chores and I know how she is, she’s always trying to conserve energy for the next task.

Since then she’s been telling mutual friends that I was a terrible host and made her feel guilty for visiting. Some think I should’ve been quiet since we all know how lazy she is.

AITAH though?

My ex wife and I got divorced when all the of the kids were adults. The marriage wasn’t a good one and I stayed for the kids basically which I regret. I will call her Pearl for this to make it clearer.

We both worked but she found no joy in her job. It was constant arguing and  she was extremely unpleasant towards me after a bad day. She also had habits of addictive behavior. She would become obsessed with something and do it 24/7. She lost multiple jobs this way. 

When I divorced her she went off the deep end. She fell heavily in alcohol and passed away after she got in a car accident. ( she was drunk).

The kid were already taking the divorce badly and her death after was really bad. I offered to pay for counseling but they refused. They blame me for their mom passing. 

Dating made it worse. They believe I am replacing their mom and when I married they became nasty about it. My wife has done nothing to them and they are dicks to her. I have spoken to them multiple times and they know cilivl to her face. 

The issue, my daughter is having her engagement dinner and I am the only one that was invited. When I asked she told me that is was only for family and my wife isn’t family.

I told her the my wife isn’t going anywhere and if she is not invited I am not going. This started an argument and she is pissed. My other kids are telling me that they feel the same and she ain’t family. 

I brought up if I can not invite their SO to thinks becuase apparently marriage doesn’t make them family and they told me that was different.

I am holding strong on this but they all think I am a dick. 

timeline form comment ( I can’t keep up with questions, look at my comments)

The divorce took about 1.5 years to be finalized, then Pearl passed about an 1.5 years after. ( 3 years after I brought up divorce)  I was dating my now wife when pearl passed. I married her around 2.5 years after my wife’s passing and my daughrer got engaged about 1.5 years since we have been married.

So 7 years after divorce and I moved out. 4 years since pearls death

I have a Verizon family plan which includes my younger brother (29M), mom (63F),hubby (40M), and I (39F). The account has been mine since I graduated HS in 2005 and was paid by me since then. A few years ago after my brother graduated college we discussed with him and my parents that he should and can start paying for his phone along with my moms since he did not have any expenses (was living with my parents, no student loans, no car payments, etc) and it will help my husband and I with a few less payments that we had. (We have two kids who attend private school, mortgage, two cars, etc) and it was agreed that he would transfer us his share and my mom’s every few months.

Well the last payment we received from him was in March of 2025, where he transferred $154 for the months of January & February. Since then nothing, I have brought it up multiple times with my parents who have said they will speak to him about it. I don’t know if they ever did but I am currently not speaking to him and have no contact with him for the past two years (past multiple issues) so can’t or actually won’t reach out to him.

Recently I have gotten notifications that he had incurred additional international long distance charges ($60+) and again let my parents know that not only has he not been paying his bill but now has additional charges added onto the bill. They said they would speak to him. Today I received a notification that he has initiated a new TravelPass session which will be an additional $12/ day for being overseas which pisses me off because he has the money to go overseas on a vacation but not to pay us for a bill he agreed to?

So since I am the main person on the account I was thinking of suspending his number until he has paid us back.

Would I be the a$$ if I just suspend the number knowing he is overseas right now (with his gf so they will have another phone if needed) and without giving him a heads up?

I lost my spouse around a year ago It was ongoing and I knew it was coming. All of the kids are grown and out of the home. It has been a rough year and living in a home filled with their stuff has been getting to much.

It makes me depressed, it is like living in a museum that I never can get away from. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I left to visit family and I didn’t want to come home.

I have to live there and I decided that I want to clean it out and not make it a museum of the dead. I did keep a few things that are sentimental but I am don’t need to see my spouses shoes at the front door or all the clothes that won’t get worn again.

I packed up a few boxes of what I want to keep and told my kids to come over to get anything of their mothers. They never came over. I told them I am going to toss/ donate their mother’s stuff and still they did not come over. I did this for about a month before I started to even move stuff to the garage.

Around 2 weeks ago I started the long process of getting rid of a lot of her things. The house is much nicer and I don’t dread coming home to it anymore. I was avoiding it by going to the bar after work but know I don’t have to.

The issue is my daughter came over yesterday to pick up some decorations for a party. She got very upset when she saw the house and started yelling at me for getting rid of their mom’s stuff. I remindered her I was doing that and I told everyone multiple times.

She apparently didn’t think I was serious about it and was pissed. The rest of the kids are pissed that I got rid of her stuff.  That they denied them getting stuff from their mothers

Again I told them at least 15 time to come get anything they wanted. I even told them when I was starting to pack it up to donate

I told them to go to the local goodwill for her stuff becuase that is where I put basically everything. They got more pissed saying they should have to pay for her shit. I reminded them I gave them plenty of time to come get things. I didn’t hide this, I was very clear about this.

They are still pissed