Hi all, this is sort of a stupid post but I thought I’d give it a shot. I’m a butch lesbian and I’m planning on celebrating my eighteenth in Hockley Nottingham (UK) in a few weeks with some friends. I plan to go out to a bar or two (if anyone has any tips/spots for a first timer that would be great, probably not going to go to any clubs just yet!)

Most of my friends who are at uni and the clubbing type are all fem, so I have no one to take inspiration from, so I’m really stumped on what to wear. My butch wardrobe tends to skew alt/punk/DIY and I know that’s probably not appropriate for going to any non alt bars/clubs. I really prefer masc fashion, but have no appropriate ‘going out’ clothes, masc or fem, apart from a dress & leather jacket which I’m treating as a sort of last resort (I do love the leather jacket though). Can anyone help me out on what would be an appropriate and affirming thing to wear? Thanks so much!

"Hi there Lesbian Friends",

I posted here a month ago and got such a wonderful response and support for this research, I wanted to post here again, for those who missed it last time.

I am part of a post-grad research team from CSU Australia, conducting INTERNATIONAL research within the LGBTQI+ community.  My personal study on Lesbian Woman, stress and sleep difficulties/insomnia still needs a minimum of 150 participants to proceed.

This important research is needed now more than ever, so if you are a Lesbian (18+), please;

- Complete the Survey (click link)

https://csufobjbs.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6sCeGsZJld6774W

- Share the (link/post) in your own network, so others can contribute too.

Thank you.

***Extra Information***

Link to Charles Sturt University Ethics Board Approval Doc (Approval number H26115) 

CSU HR Ethics Committee E: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

Supervisor Professor Suzanne McLaren (she/her) School of Psychology Charles Sturt University Port Macquarie, NSW, Australia, E: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

Please message me for any further information or question you may have.

I feel like one of the lesbian deadly sins, is not watching women’s sports.

I usually watch WNBA basketball highlights on Instagram and at some point tracked Women UFC events… but I hate to say I’m not an avid sports watcher.

I told a girl this at a sapphic party I went to and she looked at me like I stepped on her puppy 🥲…

How about you guys?

On Lesbian visibility day, Robyn Exton of the so-called "HER" dating app said "there's no such thing as a real Lesbian". She then complained that there weren't enough butch & stud Lesbians using her dating app.

I know some us are going to some Halloween parties this weekend. For the singles (and I guess polyam folk 👀) what are some Halloween themed pick-up lines you have in your arsenal?

Cringier the better.

I’ll start…

(Dressed as a spider) “Hey girl, do you want to get caught up in my web?”

Pray I don’t get pepper sprayed with that line 😂.

Let’s see what y’all got

Anyone still here?

Happy Pride!!!!!! This has been my best Pride month ever. The parties, the fine asf gay women, the lit as a tit events…I’ve been on cloud 9 all month so far.

I hope it’s been the same for y’all. What’ve y’all been up to?

Just curious whether everyone is dapping each other up (that’s what I do) or do y’all go for a hug? Even the new stud friends I made, we dap each other up, but always give hugs to femmes.

Especially any of us that are feds. As a fed on probation, I’m currently interviewing for private sector jobs in case I need to jump ship.

How are y’all affected if at all?

Hello! This is an incredibly chaotic move, but I(23F) am not always the best with words, and in the past there have been things that I have found to be deeply sweet that my gf(24F) has not. Would y'all do me the kindness of reading my letter and telling me if this is genuinely a sweet thing to give someone or if some part of it might come off as a double-compliment?

Did I ever tell you how i loved your body so much I actually tricked myself into a deep fondness for my own? The gentle swell of your stomach, the sweep of your waist were all so beautiful to me that I found I could no longer harbor resentment towards my body for not bending to my will. How could I, when things that I picked apart on myself were things I revered on you? When you curl into me, your head tucked in the crook of my neck and the comforting weight of your thigh slung over my waist, I feel my love for you viscerally- blooming though my rib cage and crawling up my throat. I think I understand what Achilles ment when he said “I would recognize you in total darkness were I mute and you deaf”. I would recognize you by the bow of your lip, by the way we slot neatly together when you wrap your arms around me. You’re my best friend, my favorite person. Ours is a love in which I would be content to run a laundromat and do taxes, if it meant we could carve out our own little space together.

Hey y’all. I’m curious about all the butches and studs that only went for femmes but then switched over to dating masculine folk. Is the grass greener on the other side? 👀

I made the heart-shaped pins and the amazing back patch was screen-printed by a lesbian woman in Joshua Tree. Other patches are places I have worked at/traveled to.

I don't. I read it when I was young and all I can remember were all of the graphic rape scenes and then the main character getting with a man at the end.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my butches and studs in the United States!

How’d your Turkey Day go?

I went to a party recently that wasn’t an LGB event per sé, but there were a lot of attractive women there, and I decided to shoot my shot at one girl.

When I asked if she dated women, she gave a “kind of” response. I followed up with are you “bi or straight?” But she still didn’t give a definite answer and the club was too loud to really hear.

I told her I’d like to take her on a date sometime and she gave me her number.

But now I’m racking my brain on what would be a good first date idea after meeting someone in that sort of setting. Most of my first dates have come from online dating, although I’m not a stranger to cold-approaching- I just have a so-so track record of following up after getting a number or Instagram.

Any tips or advice, fam?

UPDATE: Things went nowhere 😭. She started dealing with fam issues and I got ghosted. We share a similar hobby group so there’s always the chance of a rekindling but I wouldn’t bet on it.

Butch is basically an American English term that originated in lgbt culture in the us. While I look quite butch, the term doesn’t resonate with me culturally, so I don’t identify as butch. I was just curious if there are any non-Americans who identify with the term.

So yes, I am butch.

The problem is, I'm losing function in my legs, and skirts are easier to get on, along with leggings. Is there a way to incorporate (occasional) skirts and leggings into the aesthetic? I am not femme at all, but at the same time...There are days where I legitimately cant get pants on.

body image/butch standards

Hi, I want to know if anyone has had a similar experience. I grew up dressing very feminine and was manipulated from an early age to think that i enjoyed feminine things and styles. My mother was very controlling in this sense so I never really knew that being masculine was an option and even when I learned about more about masculine queer women it still never resonated with me because I had been taught to associate masculinity on women as being ugly. My mother is very conventionally beautiful and extremely slim, but she’s maintained her figure through an eating disorder (and tried to force me into one as well). I look very different from her: short, stocky and stronger facial features. As a hyper femme lesbian when I came out, I spent a lot of time stressing about my weight, curves, and general appearance due to conventional social standards still being enforced to a certain extent in the queer community. Now that I’ve come into an authentic gender presentation and identifying as a stud/butch, I feel as though the standards I was trying to meet for so long are like a rug being pulled from under me. I’m not sure if it’s due to standards for masculine women’s appearances being “lower”, or if I’m just considered more attractive now? I think I’m what people consider straight sized? I don’t have very buff arms or abs or anything but now my weight seems to attract attention in a positive way? As if it makes me looker stronger I suppose? I’m starting to wonder if a lot of my body image issues were just chest dysphoria? When I dressed super femme I still had chest dysphoria, just because they take up a lot of space on my body. I’m trying to find safe ways to bind that are meant for really large chests and it’s helping a little bit. I’ve never thought that there’s anything wrong with being fat, but I’ve definitely noticed the difference in how people have treated me since I went from what my city perceives as a “fat femme” to stud. Now instead of feeling judged I feel more objectified by the fems in my area than anything. I guess I’m just trying to unlearn thing that masculinity looks ugly on me specifically and come to terms with the fact that it’s okay and also learn how to process all the new attention I’m getting.

Per title.

Many hobbies could fall into this category. Or not even hobbies, just a change in routine, etc.

Is it silly looking back? When did you start doing (task/hobby/etc.) for yourself instead?

Hello my loves,

I am a voice actor , and it’s with great pride that I am sharing these news; I’ve finally created a Tumblr of my ongoing recording of Leslie Feinberg’s iconic book; I’ll post the link below, and I am very open to suggestions, feedback and all in between :)

Make sure to heed the trigger warnings I put on my pinned post.

I am not paid for this work, it’s all made with love; if you would like to share widely or tip, I would love that!

Take care of yourselves today, will cross post in other relevant communities.

Happy pride butches, I love you 🌈

https://www.tumblr.com/stonebutchblues-audio/753441024224919552/chapter-1-sbbm4a

I'm doing a lot of volunteering this pride month. Like at the parades and with LGBTQ organizations. I'm lucky to live in a city where there is an event going on every other day.

What are you guys up to this month?

I upgraded to a better phone recently and took a full body selfie in the mirror. The camera was able to pick up my leg hair. It makes me feel so damn sexy 😎

How do y'all feel about yours?

My naturally inclination is not to think of Kristen Stewart characters as butch. I know her character Lou in Love Lies Bleeding is more butch. Which of her other characters/movies would you consider butch?