My fiancé and I have been saving for years to buy our first home together. We finally found a place, and the closing date is about two months away. It's a small fixer upper, and we're both really excited to put our own stamp on it.

The issue is, my fiancé's parents have always been a bit overbearing with their expectations. They have always envisioned themselves having a constant presence in our lives, and apparently that includes our future home. A few days ago, they casually mentioned how they have already started planning their summer vacation and that our new house is going to be their home base for the entire month of August. They even said they had invited their siblings and cousins to join them.

I was floored. We haven't even gotten the keys yet, and they're already planning to move their entire extended family into our house. I tried to explain that this isn't feasible we'll still be unpacking, potentially dealing with renovations, and honestly, we just want to enjoy our new home as a couple for a bit before hosting a massive family reunion. My fiancé's mom got really upset, saying I was being selfish and ungrateful, and that they were just trying to help us settle in. My fiancé is trying to stay out of it, which is making things even more stressful.

I stood my ground and said that while we love them, our home isn't a public hotel, and we need to set boundaries from the start. I told them they are welcome to visit, but a month long takeover with extended family isn't going to happen. Now, my fiancé's parents are giving us the silent treatment, and my fiancé is worried about the fallout.

AITA for drawing a line in the sand before we even move in?

New account since my daughter does know my other account.

When my daughter was in school, she became friends with a girl named Kelly. They stayed close through college, and my daughter was even one of Kelly’s bridesmaids when she got married.

To explain where my daughter’s behavior came from, my ex-husband cheated on me repeatedly, and our marriage ended horribly. My daughter doesn’t speak to her father anymore, and she absolutely despises cheating.

About seven years ago, my daughter became convinced that Kelly was cheating on her husband. She started harassing Kelly online and essentially blew up her life. By the time my daughter found out that the man she had seen Kelly with was actually a relative ( they were at a fancy restaurant together) it was too late. Kelly’s marriage had already fallen apart, and because we live in a very religious community, she was ostracized by many people.

They had a huge falling out, and it basically came down to my daughter ruining Kelly’s life. Kelly blocked her on everything and eventually moved away. Kelly hated my daughter after that, and so did her mother. I still run into Kelly’s mother occasionally, and she has made her feelings about my daughter very clear.

The issue is that Kelly recently passed away. My daughter found out through a Facebook post, and the funeral is this weekend, two states away.

My daughter was planning to attend the funeral, and I told her that I thought it was a terrible idea. She said she needed to go, and I told her again that she shouldn’t. We got into an argument, and she said she had every right to mourn her friend and attend the funeral.

I told her that she really didn’t have the right to mourn Kelly or go to the funeral because Kelly hated her after everything that happened, and because my daughter had destroyed her life.

She hasn’t spoken to me since. Now I’m wondering if I should warn Kelly’s family that my daughter might show up at the funeral. Or that I might be in the wrong here?

When my daughter was around 10 I remarried to her stepmom who had her own daughter who was 9. 

They got along for the most part until recently. In short my daughter is jealous.  I’ll call any daughter Ash. My stepdaughter ( Emma fake name ) has recently reconnected with her grandparents on her father’s side. The grandparents have money to burn and are retired. 

I want to point out that before they came into the picture my daughter was the one to receive nicer gifts from my her mom side of the family. Example: they’re have been a few time Ash  went on vacations that my step daughter wasn’t allowed to go on or got more expensive stuff. I can’t stop my ex wife on spoiling her or her family. 

So the issue has been Ash  has been jealous of Emma recently because Emma’s grandparents are giving her stuff. That stuff will sometimes be in our home. I’m not going to ban her bringing her gift to her place she lives at 50% of the time.

One example is Emma got the newest phone and my daughter wanted her iPhone upgraded. I told her we don’t have the money at the moment and she said it was unfair his step sister got the newest phone.  She wasn’t very happy. We had a conversation and brought up the stuff she has gotten but Emma hasn’t over the years. 

Ash is 16 and Emma is 15. Emma’s grandparents got her a 6000 dollar purse for back to school. I don’t get it but Emma seemed to really like and that she is using it. It’s her first real purse. 

My daughter was jealous when she saw it becuase she knew the brand. Ash asked if she could borrow it and Emma told her no. They got into an argument and I stopped it and reiterated that is was Emma’s.

Well Ash decided to destroy the purse. She cut some of the leather and popped some of the seams. My wife’s ex husband was pissed and my wife replaced the purse with her own money ( we really didn’t have that to blow) 

I discussed it with my wife and we are making Ash pay back the purse. We already took 4000 that she earned this summer form her job and made it clear that for her next paychecks she is to give us 50 % until it is paid.

Ash has been upset some and she  ran to her mom. Who has had a lot of things to say about this 

She claims we are being too harsh. 

My ex wife and I got divorced when all the of the kids were adults. The marriage wasn’t a good one and I stayed for the kids basically which I regret. I will call her Pearl for this to make it clearer.

We both worked but she found no joy in her job. It was constant arguing and  she was extremely unpleasant towards me after a bad day. She also had habits of addictive behavior. She would become obsessed with something and do it 24/7. She lost multiple jobs this way. 

When I divorced her she went off the deep end. She fell heavily in alcohol and passed away after she got in a car accident. ( she was drunk).

The kid were already taking the divorce badly and her death after was really bad. I offered to pay for counseling but they refused. They blame me for their mom passing. 

Dating made it worse. They believe I am replacing their mom and when I married they became nasty about it. My wife has done nothing to them and they are dicks to her. I have spoken to them multiple times and they know cilivl to her face. 

The issue, my daughter is having her engagement dinner and I am the only one that was invited. When I asked she told me that is was only for family and my wife isn’t family.

I told her the my wife isn’t going anywhere and if she is not invited I am not going. This started an argument and she is pissed. My other kids are telling me that they feel the same and she ain’t family. 

I brought up if I can not invite their SO to thinks becuase apparently marriage doesn’t make them family and they told me that was different.

I am holding strong on this but they all think I am a dick. 

timeline form comment ( I can’t keep up with questions, look at my comments)

The divorce took about 1.5 years to be finalized, then Pearl passed about an 1.5 years after. ( 3 years after I brought up divorce)  I was dating my now wife when pearl passed. I married her around 2.5 years after my wife’s passing and my daughrer got engaged about 1.5 years since we have been married.

So 7 years after divorce and I moved out. 4 years since pearls death

I have a really close 25 year friendship with a woman who was so loving and supportive when I came out to her as bisexual (let's call her Trudy).

6 months ago I met the love of my life and we have have a wonderful relationship (let's call her Anna).

Anna has met almost all my friends except Trudy (who lives far away). Yesterday I arranged to meet up with Trudy to introduce her to my girlfriend. However, because Trudy couldn't find a babysitter, she said she'd bring her 3 kids with her (all under 12).

A couple of hours before we were due to meet up, Trudy texted to ask if it's okay to introduce Anna to her kids as my friend, rather than my girlfriend. She said they won't understand that she's my girlfriend and she's not ready to have that talk with them yet.

I was totally taken aback by this request and said no. I said that I'm not comfortable being in an environment where my relationship isn't acknowledged and I don't want to hide who my girlfriend is to me. I said that if she isn't ready to talk to the kids about same sex relationships (which admittedly is a big subject!), it might be better if we reschedule to another time.

Trudy was very hurt and said she has been incredibly supportive of the relationship and isn't asking me to hide anything. I'm very hurt by her response and so upset. I feel like I've extended a lot of kindness and understanding to her, whilst holding my own boundaries. I'm not asking her to discuss anything with her kids that she's uncomfortable with, but I'm not prepared to put myself or my girlfriend in that situation.

Trudy genuinely doesn't understand my position and now isn't replying to my texts.

This is a friend who has been nothing but supportive and loving to me for 25 years, and has been so excited about my new relationship.

AITA for not meeting up with her unless she introduced my girlfriend as my girlfriend?

I lost my spouse around a year ago It was ongoing and I knew it was coming. All of the kids are grown and out of the home. It has been a rough year and living in a home filled with their stuff has been getting to much.

It makes me depressed, it is like living in a museum that I never can get away from. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I left to visit family and I didn’t want to come home.

I have to live there and I decided that I want to clean it out and not make it a museum of the dead. I did keep a few things that are sentimental but I am don’t need to see my spouses shoes at the front door or all the clothes that won’t get worn again.

I packed up a few boxes of what I want to keep and told my kids to come over to get anything of their mothers. They never came over. I told them I am going to toss/ donate their mother’s stuff and still they did not come over. I did this for about a month before I started to even move stuff to the garage.

Around 2 weeks ago I started the long process of getting rid of a lot of her things. The house is much nicer and I don’t dread coming home to it anymore. I was avoiding it by going to the bar after work but know I don’t have to.

The issue is my daughter came over yesterday to pick up some decorations for a party. She got very upset when she saw the house and started yelling at me for getting rid of their mom’s stuff. I remindered her I was doing that and I told everyone multiple times.

She apparently didn’t think I was serious about it and was pissed. The rest of the kids are pissed that I got rid of her stuff.  That they denied them getting stuff from their mothers

Again I told them at least 15 time to come get anything they wanted. I even told them when I was starting to pack it up to donate

I told them to go to the local goodwill for her stuff becuase that is where I put basically everything. They got more pissed saying they should have to pay for her shit. I reminded them I gave them plenty of time to come get things. I didn’t hide this, I was very clear about this.

They are still pissed 

My sister called me this morning asking if she could borrow my bike because she has none. She wanted to visit a friend who lives about a 10-minute bike ride or a 20-minute walk from our house.

At the time, I was planning on heading to the gym, so I told her no. She accepted it in the moment without making a big deal out of it.

Here is where it gets complicated: I didn't end up leaving for the gym right away in that one hour time window. I got distracted on my phone and lost track of time. I still fully intended to go, but I just hadn't left yet.

Since my sister doesn't own a bike and I said no to mine, she decided to take an older bike belonging to our dad. During her ride, something broke on it.

About 70 minutes after her initial call, I walked into the room where my sister and dad were. Both of them were furious with me, blaming me for what happened and demanding that I apologize. Their logic seems to be that if I had just let her borrow my bike, dad's bike wouldn't be damaged...

My argument is that I didn't do anything wrong. I genuinely planned on going to the gym when she called, even if I got sidetracked on my phone. Furthermore, even if I had left for the gym immediately, the exact same thing would have happened with dad's bike anyway.

They are still mad at me, but I don't feel like I'm at fault here.

AITA for saying no to lending my bike in the first place?

I'm 26 and until recently I was living at home with my mum, stepdad, and my 18-year-old stepbrother (my stepdad's son).

For as long as I can remember, it's always felt like my stepbrother has been the clear favourite. I've tried to ignore it over the years, but recent events have really brought those feelings to the surface.

My family rent, and our landlord recently told us she needs the property back because her son is moving in. We had to find somewhere else to live. There were multiple three-bedroom properties within the same budget, but my mum and stepdad decided to rent a two-bedroom house instead.

That decision meant there was no room for me, so I was effectively told I needed to find somewhere else to live. As a result, my girlfriend and I are now having to bring forward our plans to buy a house by about a year. We'll make it work, but it's added a lot of financial pressure and stress that we weren't expecting yet.

Now here's the part that's really annoyed me.

My mum and stepdad are going on holiday for a week, and they've asked me to move back into their new house for that week just to stay with my 18-year-old stepbrother because they don't want him to get lonely.
He's 18. He's legally an adult. And after choosing a house that had no room for me, they now expect me to come back and play house-sitter and keep him company.

Part of me feels guilty because it's only a week, but another part of me feels like I'm only being included when it's convenient for them. When it came to choosing a house, I wasn't important enough to have a bedroom. But now they need something from me, suddenly I'm expected to help.

Am I overreacting for not wanting to do it? Would you go back after feeling like you'd been pushed out, or is it reasonable for me to say no?

I’m 20F and live with my 21M boyfriend. We recently moved into a small property with about six cottage-style homes. Ours is on the end with a large tree and a patch of grass. There’s a sidewalk and bushes separating the homes.
my bf and I were outside when a old neighbor walked onto our side without saying a word and picked up a large tree branch to throw away. It felt odd since it wasn’t his property
I noticed he regularly watered the grass on our side using a hose stretched all the way from his house. I eventually asked him if he could stop because I wanted to take care of it myself. He stopped for a few weeks, and I forgot about it.
Tonight I was home alone, dancing in my living room around 10 p.m., when I heard water outside my window. I looked out and saw him watering the grass again. I put on a jacket and went outside, trying to be polite. I said, “I appreciate you watering the grass, but could you please not water my side? I want that to be my job.”
He immediately replied, “Well, you don’t water it.”
I said, “Okay, but I want to. Please don’t water my side. I don’t feel comfortable with you being so close to my windows. It’s weird.”
He instantly started yelling and swearing at me: “I can do whatever the f*** I want! I can water it as much as I f***ing want!”
I told him it was my side of the property and that I thought it was weird he was standing near my windows. He denied it. I asked why he was yelling and cussing when I had asked nicely.
Something else that bothered me is that he doesn’t water the entire lawn on my side. There are large dry yellow areas he ignores. He mainly waters the strip directly in front of my living room window. After I pointed that out, he suddenly walked over and watered the previously dry patch for a few seconds, almost like he realized I’d noticed.
I went inside, but when I saw he was still there I went back out and told him to get off my property. He said it wasn’t my property. I replied, “Well, it’s not yours either.” We both exchanged insults after that.
The whole thing creeps me out because he only stands outside my living room window at night with the hose. He doesn’t do this in front of anyone else’s home. Even if he claims he’s just watering the grass, why continue after I’ve clearly told him not to? He’s not the property manager.
I called the non-emergency police line for advice. They asked if I wanted him formally trespassed from coming onto my side again, and I agreed because I don’t know this man and his aggressive reaction made me uncomfortable.
When my boyfriend got home, they argued outside. My boyfriend told him not to speak to me that way, and the neighbor kept saying, “I’ve been watering the grass for years.” Later an officer came and issued the trespass warning.What confuses me is why he yelled at my bf he’d “been watering the grass for years,” but instead of saying that to me, he chose to scream and swear at me the moment I politely asked him to stop.

An update to my last post which you can find here, https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1v0p9i1/aita_for_showing_up_my_brothers_girlfriend_by/

I'd like to start by saying thank you to everyone for your comments and like many of you recommended I ended up showing the messages she sent me to my twin brother. I went round to his today, it's his day off and he wanted my help making a start on the set I got him. I'd have brought the set he got me so we could make them together but since it lives at my place it's not smart to try and move it back and forth. He's going to come to mine on Saturday to help me make a start on it.

While we were working on it together I admitted to him that his girlfriend had messaged me and that I was concerned as she doesn't seem to like his hobby with Lego, seeing it as childish and seems to find me as some kind of threat which is weird and gross because seriously, that's my twin? I also expressed worry that she may try to sabotage the things he likes just to make him "grow up". He asked to see my phone and I passed it over, he read the messages in silence and was quiet for about a minute before saying and I quote "oh fuck no" and he then pulled out his phone and began to message her. When I asked what he was doing he said he was sorting it, and when I tried to ask tell me what he meant by that he just made noises to cut me off like he used to when we were kids and he felt like annoying me.

I managed to see the messages and he straight up just told her that he saw the messages she sent me and he wanted his key back, and she had till 8pm to drop it off and she was to put it through the letterbox and not bother trying to talk to him. If she didn't he'd be having his locks changed. HE THEN BLOCKED HER NUMBER!. When I asked him if he was being a bit hasty and maybe he should talk to her instead he told me he could forgive a lot of things and they could have even worked through her not liking his hobby but no one talks to me like that or makes gross implications like that to me.

He then refused to talk further about her insisting we keep building the set. I left about 2 hours ago and i'm just sitting laughing about this and a bit amused by this whole mess. My boyfriend can't stop laughing over this and told me he was glad he never got on my brothers wrong side

EDIT: Some updates that happened as I had to wait to have my post approved. My brother let me know she did turn up to return his keys but she didn't put them through the letterbox like he asked, at least not at first. She apparently stood knocking and shouting at the door for an hour before finally putting it through the letterbox calling him all kinds of names through it as she did so, he was apparently just building his lego as she did this and kept turning his music up so it was clear he was home but he was ignoring her.

On his way to work he also dropped her keys in through her letterbox so he wouldn't have to interact with her. I've asked him if this is being petty and maybe he should have talked to her he told me that yes, he's being petty, and if she wants to make him "grow up" then he will be childish with her. I've also blocked his now ex-girlfriend as she began to message me blaming me for this mess and asking me what I did. So yeah, that is what happened! thought you'd all like this additional information.

I live in a block of flats in the UK that has one allocated parking space per plot number. They are numbered with the plot number accordingly.

I don’t actually have a car, so my space is empty most of the time, however there was an incident a few days ago that I’d like an opinion on.

My neighbour and her husband both have a car, but only the one space between them. Her husband seems to have their allocated spot, and she seems to just park wherever she can. She had been parking in a different neighbours space until about 2 weeks ago when they got a car themselves and understandably asked her to stop parking there so they could have it. Instead, now she has taken it upon herself to just take mine as it’s mostly empty.

This was frustrating but I let it slide until my MIL came to drop my son home and found my space taken up by the neighbours car, she ended up parking in another neighbours space while they happened to be out because there was nowhere else available. I was worried it would cause issues someone else when they returned home but my MIL only stayed briefly before leaving.

This was when I had enough and wrote a note on some paper and put it on the neighbours windscreen under the wiper blade. I explained the situation and asked her to stop parking there as I may need it for any guests I may have over. I also wrote my door number and plot number as it’s not immediately obvious.

I thought that would be the end of it, but yesterday I woke up to that some bit of paper on my doorstep with her writing on the back. Her response was along the lines of her and her husband are finding it difficult to both park here overnight and they’re usually both gone during the day at work. She also said my MIL should have parked in the visitor bays instead.

She’s completely missed the point. whether my MIL should have used visitors bay is irrelevant. It’s MY space, and if I want my guests to park in MY space, they should be able to. Also, if I went out and bought a car tomorrow, what would she do then?

It’s not really my responsibility that both her and her husband have a car each, regardless if they are parked there during the day or not. She shouldn’t just assume that because mine is empty that it’s ok for her to park in without even asking!

Now she’s making me feel petty because “I don’t even have a car”, but that’s not the point. If anything, I think she is being petty arguing with me on a piece of paper and leaving it on my doorstep!

AITA?!

EDIT: I’m in the UK! Towing is not an option here!

My wife and I have 2 kids. Brielle(14) who is mine and Elena(16) who is hers.

Brielle is going to attend a school for gifted kids next year. She did an exam and managed to get in. Not everyone can do this so I'm proud of her. The school is gonna be expensive though.

Now my wife wants to enroll Elena in some fancy expensive school to make things equal. Elena is not even doing well in her current school so a more difficult education is the last thing she needs.

When she told me I told her that if her and Elena's dad are willing to pay for it then it's none of my business she said no. She expects me to pay. I said in that case I'm sorry but this is not a good idea. She thinks I'm an asshole.

I 38(f) am the youngest of 3 sisters T 43 & B 46.I am the only one with a job they are both stay at home moms. Years ago, my mom moved to another country and rebuilt her life; she had a boyfriend, I was the only one to visit her. I was there for her when she was hospitalized, as well as birthdays, Christmases, and so on, while my sisters only asked her for money. Years later, my mom’s boyfriend passed away, then she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. She had no family in that country, so she wanted to be with us she could barely move. We had discussed how to care for her upon her return; we agreed that since I was the only one working, I would pay for everything—care, food, treatments, and whatever she needed—while my two sisters would handle the actual caregiving. That was the agreement—or so I thought. My sister T took her in I bought everything necessary and handled the paperwork for my mom’s treatment and medical appointments. I was the only one with a car, so I drove my mom to all her appointments every week; my sisterand her husband started complaining.they felt it wasn't fair for her to do the caregiving while I "just worked." My mom’s health deteriorated, He suggested to make things "equitable," I should care for her after work while my sister did it in the morning—all while I continued to pay for everything, since they didn't have enough money. My other sister, B, refused to care for my mom and disappeared, so I won't mention her much. I understand that caring for a sick person is a lot of work, but caring for a sick person while working—which is what they wanted me to do—was even harder. Towards the end of her life, my mother wore diapers. I found out one day that my sister and her husband had nicknamed her "the pooper" Often, they would call me that she needed to go to the hospital and asking me to come pick her up; since my sister's house was a 40-minute drive away, they wouldn't take her in a taxi—they would wait for me to arrive so I would take her.When my mother was hospitalized, I would leave work to care for her at night because my sister could only look after her in the mornings. I would only get about two hours of sleep before heading straight from the hospital to work. This happened several times, but they didn't care; to them, I was just "working." When my mother passed away, I handled all the funeral arrangements and paid for everything, as they claimed they had no money. They told me that since I hadn't cared for my mother it was up to me to pay for the funeral. At the funeral, nobody offered me their condolences. My sister's mother-in-law announced in front of everyone that they were the only ones who had taken care of my mom and that they deserved a place in heaven for being such good people. That’s when I laughed and told them they wouldn't be taking care of "poopers" anymore. So, Aita for laughing at My moms funeral?

My husband and I are currently staying at a resort that has several koi ponds. While walking past one, I saw a guy lying on his stomach, reaching into the shallow water to get closer to the fish. He looked at the person he was with and asked, "Should I touch the fish?" while already actively putting his hand in.

As I walked by, I firmly said, "No, don't touch the fish."

He seemed embarrassed and immediately stood up. I’m not sorry I said it—touching koi can actually harm their protective slime coat, and I really hope he thinks twice before doing it again.

However, my husband seemed a little shocked by how directly I confronted a total stranger, which made me second-guess how I handled it. It genuinely pissed me off in the moment, but now I'd like a reality check.
AITA?

Edit- I will educate next time

Just some background information first.

About 2 months ago I heard shouting and went outside so see a man lying on the ground and someone on the phone with 911. I heard the man on with 911 mention Narcan and immediately stepped in as it was an overdose.

There was someone performing CPR but they weren't doing it correctly (appeared to be high) so i asked if I could take over. This man was so blue I wasnt sure how long he hadnt been breathing. But I got his color and a pulse back by the time EMS arrived.

Last night I was so shocked to get a knock on my door from him. There was no way he saw where I lived as he was barely conscious when I left the scene.

He told me he used to live here. I stepped outside and asked if he was the man from the overdose and he confirmed it was him.

He mentioned being cold. I had an old sweater that would fit him so I offered him the sweater, food, and water and sat outside with him while he ate and used my phone to try to call someone.

It's so heartbreaking hes only 24. He is a very polite young man as well.

When I got inside my boyfriend blew up on me for giving him food saying things like "now he will keep coming back here expecting you to feed him and bothering us". He laid into me for quite a few minutes over it.

I told him it's hard for me not to help people in need especially the man I almost watched die whos life was literally in my hands.

AITA for helping this man or is my boyfriend being unreasonable?

I understand his concerns but I am not someone to treat someone as less because of their circumstances.

I (21 F) moved out of my parents' house at 18 years old to attend a college that is 200 miles (roughly a 4 hour drive) away from them. My parents (62 F and 70 M) only request from me and my sister (26 F, living 3 hours away from our parents) was a "good morning" and "good night" text message to our family group chat. (I will specify that neither of our parents have either of our locations)

For the first couple of years, I had very little issue with this, but it was a slight annoyance, seeing as how I left home with the intent of escaping my narcissistic mother. In the past year, I have started to despise this request, as I am a full time student, work full time at a grocery store, which is 32-40 hours a week and often requires me to be awake by 5 am, and have been building a life with my boyfriend of one year. Between all of this, I tend to forget to send a text to our family group chat. And when I forget to send a "good morning" text, my parents will text and call me asking if I'm okay. For example: There was even one morning they called at 7 am on my off day because I was so exhausted from work the previous night that I did not send a "good night" text. In addition, I forgot to send a "good morning" text today because I was running errands, and my parents texted me once, called me twice a few hours apart and left a voicemail the second time.

I have consistently explained that I am constantly busy, and when I am not, I am trying to relax from a long day, so it slips my mind. I have repeatedly requested to be left alone even if I forget 1 of the 2 texts, but they refuse to listen purely because "you'll always be our baby and we'll always worry" and "you'll understand when you have kids" (despite my constant mention that I will NOT be having children). Every time they do this, I tell them off, typically with quite a few profanities because I am exhausted by my simple request being completely ignored.

(To clarify, they have very little reason to worry about me. I have been in one major car accident, but otherwise I am not a flight risk. I am not a risk to myself, I don't drink alcohol, do drugs, party, or even go out past dark.)

So, am I the asshole for wanting to completely disregard my parents' outrageous request for twice daily check-in texts?

EDITS: I have tried scheduling texts through the shortcuts app. I could not find a way to send them to a group chat, only individual contacts. PLEASE lmk how to send an automated text to a group chat. And to those teling me to cut them off completely, they still pay my health and car insurance, and phone bill, a few extra things that will likely make me live paycheck to paycheck if I had to pay for them.

AITA for asking my mom to move out after overhearing her badmouth me and my husband to our family?
I (F) let my mom move in with my husband, our children, and me almost two years ago. She has lived with us rent-free. I never asked for much in return besides occasionally watching the kids for a couple of hours when I needed help.
Over time, we’ve had repeated issues. She gets upset if I won’t let her use my car or buy things for her, and she frequently calls family to complain about me and my husband. She has never liked him and, even before everything happened, would tell me I’d be better off leaving him because we’re “too different.”
About a year ago, my husband and I had one heated argument after he was disciplining our son. During the argument, he grabbed my shirt in frustration. It shocked both of us because he’d never done anything like that before. He let go immediately, apologized, took full responsibility, and admitted he should never have done it. It has never happened before or since, and we’ve worked on our communication.
My mom physically stepped in because she believed she was protecting me, and I don’t blame her for that. I’m not excusing what my husband did—I know it was wrong. I’m only including it because it’s relevant.
Afterward, my mom began telling family that my husband abuses me and my son. She also says we treat her terribly and don’t care about her. From my perspective, many of these stories are exaggerated or false. Because of what she’s told people, my brother won’t even speak to me while I’m married, yet he also refuses to let our mom live with him.
My final straw was walking into the house and overhearing my mom on the phone badmouthing me and my husband to family again. Hearing our private issues discussed and what I felt were false narratives made me realize the trust was gone.
I told her I thought it was time to move out because I couldn’t continue living with someone who was damaging my marriage and family relationships.
Now my family says I’m a horrible daughter because she doesn’t have another place to live and is looking at homeless shelters. The part that hurts is that several relatives, including my brother (her son), could potentially take her in temporarily but refuse to. Instead, they expect me to continue housing her despite everything that’s happened.
I feel guilty because I don’t want my mom in a shelter, but I also don’t feel I should have to keep living with someone who constantly disrespects me and undermines my household.
I’m not asking whether my husband’s actions that day were okay..they weren’t, and we’ve addressed them. I’m asking whether I’m wrong for ending my mom’s living arrangement after nearly two years because of everything that’s happened since.
AITA?

My fiance and I have bought a house and we have a shared account for housing expenses. We both pay into it each month.

She’s used it for things such as buying new things for the kitchen, a new bedside cabinet and a few decorative bits. 

Our tv is a few years old now and I was thinking about upgrading. There’s more than enough in the shared account and would still have a lot left over. I mentioned this to my gf and she said I shouldn’t be using the shared account for it since it’s just something I want and not a need. 

I pointed out most of the things she’s used the account for were wants and if you total everything she’s bought, it’ll come to around the same price as the tv or even slightly more, 

She said again I shouldn’t be using the shared account. I tried arguing a compromise of using half from the shared account and half from my savings but she still said no. 

I told her it’s meant to be a shared account and she’s acting like it’s solely her money. I said I’m entitled to use the account just as much as she is but she argued I was being unreasonable, 

AITA for using the shared account to buy a tv?

Hi, for a while now, my neighbors have been kicking balls into my parents' yard. Before, they used to ring my house and come get them (we gave it to them always), but since it's happened so often (sometimes several balls a day) my dad went and talked to the neighbor, because he have an age and he can't be all the day returning the balls instantly.

She just made the excuse that “they're just kids” and said she'd talk to them, but they keep doing it. Now, we usually return them about once a week, but today one hit me in the head, and I'm fed up (they also hit some plants and almost my car too).

Their house isn’t exactly small (they have a huge yard with football goals, and their wall is taller than mine, like, i still don't get how can they possibly kick the ball into our yard), so would I be the idiot if I stopped returning them?

I (30F) am the oldest of three siblings, raised by a single mom. Growing up, I naturally became the second parent. As an adult, I’ve always worked hard to be independent because I never wanted to rely on anyone financially.

Last year, my younger sister (25F) wanted to move to my city. Instead of us renting together, I bought a house. We agreed she’d pay $900/month in rent and the internet bill, and we’d basically be roommates.

She delayed moving in, eventually got a job, quit after a couple of months because she hated it, and then went almost a year without working. She just started a new job this week, and I’m genuinely happy for her.

During that year, I paid for everything: mortgage, utilities, groceries, toiletries, etc. The only bill in her name was the internet, and she’d let it become overdue without telling me. Eventually, I just started paying it myself because I got tired of asking.

The money isn’t even my biggest issue. It’s that I constantly feel like I’m parenting another adult.
She leaves dishes in the sink overnight after I’ve repeatedly asked her not to. She wears my clothes without asking. If I make one exception on something, it suddenly becomes the expectation.

She also tends to put her relationships before everything else. For example, she skipped helping me set up our mom’s surprise birthday/Mother’s Day celebration because she went out of town with a guy she’d only been dating a few weeks. She showed up late with him after I’d already planned, shopped for, decorated, and paid for everything.

She’s also been rude to the guy I’ve been dating. He politely said hello, and she ignored him. When I asked why, she said, “Why would I be nice to someone who’s trying to take my sister from me?”

None of these things alone are a huge deal, but after a year of financially supporting another adult while constantly repeating the same conversations, it’s all adding up. I feel like I’ve fallen back into being the second mom instead of just being a sister.

I love her, and now that she’s working I’m hoping things improve. But I’m becoming resentful.

AITA for feeling this way? Am I expecting too much, or do I need to set firmer boundaries? How do I do that without damaging our relationship?

I, 16M, just got scolded and yelled at by my dad for being "selfish" for not giving my laptop to my dad.

I am currently a community college student (finished HS at 15) with good grades (3.95 gpa). The college offers a free laptop program, where students can keep their loaned laptop if they have good academic standing after one year. It is a 2024 windows probook. Today, the college allowed me to keep the laptop forever since I had very good grades.

Just a few days ago, my dad bought me another laptop because he thinks the laptop from 2024 is too old, and wants to trade in the laptop after Im able to get it. After he learned that I was able to keep the laptop from the college, he wanted me to give him it so that he can sell it for a few hundred bucks. He is obsessed with trade-ins and selling electronics.

I said that I want to keep it because I think its not a bad idea to have 2 laptops. Also, because I had this laptop for a while, I wanted to keep it and not sell it since I have a bit of emotional connection to it. I felt that I earned it fair and square.

My dad was not happy when I answered that. He then scolded me for being "selfish" and yelling how "nothing in the world is your's" pointing at how he "pays taxes for my school and thus should be entitled to it".

He also said that he is the reason I am able to exist and live like this, and how dare I keep this laptop to myself since someone else could be using it. I answered that I could keep it for longer before donating it, but my dad insisted that he sell it for cash. I thought it was strange how he thinks he wants to help society but wants to profit from it the same time, which is ironic.

He yelled me for at least 20 miniutes, all while I have a midterm tomorrow at college. I don't give a f*ck about laptops and electronics, as long as it works just keep it. However, my dad believes that because of this, he feels that I am too entitled to everything, and called me retarded.

My mom tried to calm him down a bit but things like this happen once in a while for no reason.

I am not obsessed with computers and I only want them to study and build my future, not for bs or selling.

A little bit of background:

My dad has been unemployed since he was 35, owns a house worth 2.25 million, drives BMWs and Porsches, and does nothing everyday and instead just does gaming. Also the money came from my grandparents on my mom's side. He pays like 10k in property tax a year (and thats basically all the taxes), far lower than what a w2 employee pays.

I, however, have been building independence for years, I went to school by myself and is a full time college student at just 16 years old. I rarely if ever accept or request gifts because I felt like I don't need them.

So yeah, AITA?

edit: my dad does not want the new laptop back, he only wants the old one since he is obsessed with trade ins.

I (27F) let my 30-year-old cousin move into my home with my husband because he needed a place to stay. He doesn’t pay rent, and although he gets paid at the beginning of each month, he rarely buys groceries for himself.
The issue is that he keeps eating food my husband and I buy without asking. This has happened multiple times, and we’ve both told him repeatedly that if he wants something that isn’t his, he needs to ask first. He agrees in the moment but keeps doing it anyway.
The latest incident was when I went to eat pizza I had bought and found that he had eaten most of it. There have been other times I’ve gone to eat something I specifically bought for myself and it was gone. After this kept happening, I sent him a message saying that if he eats anything he didn’t buy without asking again, he’ll have to find somewhere else to live.
He’s now angry with me, blocked me, and seems to think I’m overreacting. From his perspective, it’s “just food,” and he thinks I’m being too harsh over groceries.
I feel like I’ve tried talking to him multiple times before giving him this ultimatum, but now I’m wondering if I crossed a line by threatening to make him move out over this.
AITA?

I have 2 kids (6f and 10m). Shit happened and the kids and I needed a place to stay until I could get on my feet.

A friend that I haven’t seen in years heard about my situation through a mutual friend and offered for us to stay with her family for a while. She’s married with 4 kids (6f, 4f, 3f, 13 mo M) and is pregnant with baby #5. This friend is an absolute angel. 2 of her kids were adopted from the foster system and I am not the first friend she has taken in. Husband is in tech and my friend is a director at a local private school (oversees multiple locations). They have a big house with a huge playroom and a massive backyard with a play structure and a pool.

She had me complete a background check before moving in. We were moved in by the end of the week once that cleared. She moved my daughter into her oldest daughter’s room. They became immediate best friends. My son got a small room (8x8) that was previously used for storage, but had been beautifully decorated for him and I stayed in their guest room.

Now, my son can be extremely defiant. I’ve tried therapy with me, individual therapy, working with behavioral technicians, and everything else you can think of. He’s a great kid at school but once he gets home, everything is a power struggle. There can be lots of arguing and he can be rough with his sister. My friend talked to me before we moved in about my son. She told me that she wants to help us but if the situation starts to become harmful to her kids she will have to kick us out.

He did great for a couple weeks. Then he started to test boundaries. He was punished then he started teasing his sister and my friend’s oldest daughter. We were given our only warning, I talked to my son and tried punishment again, and he went back to messing with the girls. I was told that they are willing to keep my daughter until we get settled but my son and I needed to be out that night. They got us a hotel for the week then we were on our own.

We bounced between hotels/motels for a few weeks and now we’re in a 2 bedroom apartment that almost definitely has mold problems while I’m applying to different income restricted apartments. I‘ve decided to keep my daughter with them until we are somewhere with a little more space and is in slightly better condition. I visit without my son a couple times a week and we spend weekends together.

The other day my son was mad at me and said that I favor his sister because I’m letting her stay at the good house while he has to live here. I was just done with his defiance and told him that the reason she gets to stay there and he doesn’t is because his behavior got us kicked out. He chose to ignore us when we talked to him and punished him for repeatedly taking food from the girls, shooting them with his nerf guns, etc. so now he has to deal with the consequences.

He has been so upset since then that I’m now wondering if I shouldn’t have told him why we had to leave.