I've started dancing a couple of months ago. I love the style, the community is welcoming and kind.
My problem is that I can't seem to relax enough and still maintain the right steps, or keep the connection.
I rush, I make big steps, I dont keep the frame, I'm veery tensed up most of the dances.
The latest feedback was "deer in the headlight" - not present in the dance, not grounded in myself.
I've had some dances with leaders in which I felt very safe and grounded (medium fast rhythm, basic moves), or had a lot of fun and connection and didn't care about the steps.
What got me into this style is the playfulness of it. I know that I can dance, I looove to dance. But I don't have any experience with being a follower.
Where I freeze is in the pauses of rhythm or invitations to improvise or when the moves become more suave or graceful. I go stiff and awkward instead of fluid.
I know that comparison is not useful, but I cannot not notice followers starting around the same time and having objective progress.
It's a bit frustrating because in the life outside dancing I'm fun, adaptable. And that's what draw me to this dance: the carefree, joyful, playful nature of it.
Oh, and sometimes being stiff during dances also lingers in the socialising part. So that's an added "bonus"...
I would love some perspective, personal experiences and/or tips.