Hey,
I recently made a post about a movie I created. First thank you if you watched it and thank you for your concern about my well-being. I am going to follow up with a psychiatrist that is not associated to the university.
Unfortunately, the psychiatrist I saw seemed to care more about protecting the university than her patient. At least, that's how I felt.
A few traumatic events have happened to me in the past month.
1) I think I had a manic episode last month where I completely forgot my sense of self. Since I had this episode, I do not think I am a maniac anymore but I can not really self diagnose, that's why I will see another psychiatrist.
2) I thought someone would kill me because they were placed above me in the hierarchy and I exposed to them how hypocritical they were/are.
3) I got arrested by the police in front of the campus MIL. They did not ask questions, I was put in the car instantly. I had seen a psychologist the day before so I thought I could come safely to do my research but that was not the case apparently. I am now paralyzed with fear whenever I hear a siren or when a police car is nearby.
4) I live nearby the main campus.
For all these reasons, I decided to protect myself and go back to my home country. I think staying in Montreal would be the real manic episode after all those things happened.
I will ask you a simple question in two scenarios. Who is the maniac ?
1) A person sacrificing so much of their time, relationships etc... for a system that does not care about them
2) A person choosing to leave a system that did not protect them so that they can protect themself. I guess I am being maniac here as well. Since I could easily go to court with such events I think. But is it worth the hassle ? Idk, you tell me !
To me, the answer is clear but certain answers I get really seem to make the quick inference that I am insane when, in my opinion, the society is much more insane than I am. Idk if you have been to Cote des Neiges.
There are poor kids that nobody wants to help. People with clear mental health issues yelling in the street. Strangely, police does not stop for them. But for me, to protect the elite at campus MIL, they showed up pretty quickly...
To me, society is:
- A war of ego
- People older or with more money are winning. Other can die quietly, who cares anyway ? Who cares if AI takes over your job, right ? The point of life is clearly to make as much money as possible... Clearly.
Again, maybe I have psychiatric issues. In this case, it is the job of an expert to diagnose me, not a redditor.
It was really nice to be at Udem. I had awesome moments there. I had great friends. I was doing research I enjoyed. I gave up on them. I had told them they could always talk to me whenever they felt unhappy. And I gave up on them.
Goodbye video for the Montreal people. Im not planning to come back for a while. Change your society instead of being so passive if you want more people like me around.
I will try to change mine on my side.
Btw video was taken 1.5 weeks after the movie I shared. Meaning the manic episode lasts until this day (it spans a 6 months range approximately if I make the mistake of self-diagnosis)
https://youtu.be/rrHgIG6g4Gc?is=iLZQqsF6CQjHgRLH