Many of my friends are non-dyslexic and are extremely adept at remembering the meanings and spellings of words. They often correct me for misusing words, though they feel so correct to use.
I struggle to remember people's names, but how they smelt, words we shared (Usually paraphrasing them), the interactions we had, they come very easily. Though, they aren't as 'impressive' as remembering someone's name, and then listing their crowing achievements.
I seem to find myself polarizing towards people that find it important to 'prove' their intelligence constantly, and it's often done through being able to name things. They usually like to throw in the neurodivergence diagnosis to make it appear that they are fated to be intelligent.
I struggled a lot in school because of it, and gave up once on life for years (Drug addiction). It felt cruel that I am by coincidence friends with people who were either the valedictorian of the school, or the top of whatever course they were doing every semester.
I have to sit back and just watch their mouth move, and hear what I struggle with be something very easy for them. My struggle makes them feel more special and intelligent, and me stupider and beneath.
I can't help but think they're friends with me because me being lesser, makes them more appreciative of their own life.
It makes me want to give up on life and accept I'm just bound to be stupid and unable to do things. I am struggling with not giving up on my ambitions. I don't want to, and I need the help.