r/XXRunning • u/No-Gain-9322 • 51m ago
Safety Too scared to go trail running after a terrifying experience with an aggressive man
I used to be a very consistent, avid trail runner. I could even run at night without fear. I was reasonably wary of men, but never terrified. Well, about a month ago I was hiking with my friend who is also a woman. Suddenly, a man approached us and said: "Hello, may I ask you a question?" I just assumed he wanted directions or something, you know, like a sane person would. Instead, he followed with, "What the fuck are you girl scout jews doing on my fucking property?" Not only was he a deranged tweaker, he also showed us that he was recording with his phone. He used the front camera so we could actually see ourselves in the recording. I'm not sure why, but this detail makes the whole situation even more terrifying. I quickly responded, "Oh, we were just leaving." He yelled, "YEAH, YOU BETTER FUCKING LEAVE!" I truly didn't know what to do. We were just quickly walking away. I thought about running, but what if that provoked him somehow? What if he's armed? What are his intentions? I started having a panic attack for the first time in my life. It was like I was suffocating. My friend whispered to me that we should run, so we ran. She kept on reassuring me the entire time, sticking by my side no matter what. The way back to the car was insanely uphill, and as a beginner, I physically had to stop for breaks no matter how hard I tried not to (I also have asthma). We could still hear him yelling after us and I cannot explain how terrifying it was being unable to keep on running. In the end, we made it to the car safely. It was the best case scenario, and yet I still cannot get over this incident.
I feel uncomfortable using the term, but I think I may be traumatized. I no longer enjoy the outdoors like I used to. For example, a few weeks ago I was alone on what used to be my favorite trail. Mid way through, I saw a man coming down the mountain. Any normal person, Including past-me, would have thought nothing of it. But I was terrified. I wasn't thinking about anything but this man the entire time: his intentions, where he was going, will we encounter each other? Well, we did. He said "Hello" and moved on about his day. Every time I have gone back on trail, I've had some stupid experience like this. I've upgraded my gear: I have a personal alarm and the best pepper spray on the market, but it doesn't bring any peace of mind. I don't run like I used to now. I'm lucky if I even manage a single 5k a week. This truly used to be my passion, but it's over now.
Realistically, I know the only way to get over a fear is to face it. You know, exposure therapy. I'm not really looking for a "solution" here, but people who have experienced similar. Have you had a terrifying experience like this, but gotten over it? I want to hear that it's possible for me to love running again.