For those of you who are now financially stable or financially independent, what habits, skills, and mindset shifts made the biggest difference?

I'm interested in learning things like:

• How you became better at making financial decisions.
• How you increased your income or found better ways to make money.
• How you learned to save consistently without feeling deprived.
• When you started investing, what you invested in, and why.
• How you use your money to generate more money over time.
• Any mistakes you made that you'd encourage others to avoid.

I'm still young and trying to build good financial habits early, so I'd love to hear what actually worked for you and what you wish you had known sooner.

I grew up in a family where living paycheck to paycheck was normal. My boyfriend and I followed the same path when we were younger by financing both of our vehicles. Looking back, I wouldn’t do it again, but we’re close enough to paying them off that it makes more sense to finish.

We’re both 24, have decent jobs, and are trying to build a better financial future than we grew up with. What gets discouraging is that our friends seem to save money so much more easily, yet have the same bills/expenses. It feels like we work just as hard, have similar expenses, yet our combined savings is what one person in some couples saves on their own.

I’m not trying to keep up with anyone or get rich, I just want to break the cycle and become financially stable. It honestly feels like there’s some “secret” we’re missing.
For those who were the first in your family to become financially stable, what changed everything for you?

Edit: my boyfriend and I budget EVERYTHING! We have tracked every dollar spent a couple times before as well.

**When you zoom all the way into the top 1,000 wealthiest individuals in America, you are looking at an elite fraternity that holds an estimated 4.5% to 5% of the entire nation’s private wealth.**

They pay 1/4 the taxes (% of income) of the average wage earner in America

Imagine that.

Long post incoming, but I'm really interested in feedback and/or other points of view.
Thank you ahead of time for reading if you do!

**TL;DR:** My girlfriend's mother believes a man should make six figures. I have $50k/year tax-free passive income for life, insanely cheap family healthcare, full covered education benefits for future kids, and currently receive another $30k/year tax-free while in graduate school leaving me at 80k/year, with projected additional income after graduating. Yet it doesn't meet the standard for her mother. It made me wonder: has "making six figures" become more of a status symbol than an actual measure of financial security? Which would you rather have?

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Before I begin:

1. This is not really an issue between my girlfriend and I but has been a point of contention between her and her mother. (and the healthy relationship I hope to have with future in-laws).
   
2. Her mother has a history of standards that no man has ever amounted to for her (3) daughters aside from financial expectations, and has IMO, a desire for control over her daughter's life choices.
   
3. Her mother has completely supported and raised her children alone and has (from what I hear) been let down time and time again by "bum men," because she does not live by her own standards she sets.
   
4. I recognize the likelihood of these standards being so prevalent because she herself isn't living up to them and wants better than what she has had for her daughters, which is reasonable and expected.
   
5. I've tried having this sort of dialogue with her mother which you're about to read, that was lead with curiosity, rather than an attempt to persuade, and was met with immediately rebuttal on every point I made as well as attacks on my character.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now let's get into it, I'm a 30M and my girlfriend is 25F.

My girlfriend's mother has made comments multiple times as the title suggests, trying to instill dating standards of six figures which by all accounts, is a fair expectation to have for a partner (because it is after all, her own standards). That said, I still can't help the feeling that gross salary is treated as a generic status symbol rather than actual financial security.

My situation is a bit different than most:

I'm retired early after serving 10 years in the military, I was medically retired for PTSD and an injury after a combat deployment. I now receive financial compensation of roughly 50,000k annual, tax free for life. I also have full coverage healthcare benefits for my entire family (once I choose to have them for $765USD/year) and covered educational benefits for as many children as I choose to have (we're hoping for three) to put them through college for a four-year degree. I rent by choice and invest for the future with disposable income. I have certifications and briefly worked as an Air Traffic Control on the civilian side but left the field as I no longer have the passion for it. Additionally, I'm continuing my education being paid $30k per year in hopes to become a licenses therapist, where I'll make additional income (to the extent I feel like working). In all, I have all these benefits, personal freedom to move or not work making at current, 80k a year untaxed.

Now, out of my own curiosity of how far six-figure stretches, I started taking just below averages for family healthcare coverage and educational savings plan.

* Average 4-year in-state public degree (tuition + room/board/books): **$100,000 per child** in today's dollars.
* Three children: **$300,000 total.**
* Spread evenly over 18 years: **$300,000 ÷ 18 ≈ $16,700/year.**

For healthcare, I assumed someone with a good employer-sponsored plan, contributing around **$4,000 per year** toward family coverage.

Very roughly looking at the individual who makes six-figures:

* $100,000 gross income
* Around **$20,000** in federal and payroll taxes (depending on deductions, filing status, etc.)
* About **$4,000** toward family healthcare
* About **$16,700** per year if they wanted to save enough to put three children through an average in-state public university

That leaves roughly **$59,000** available for everything else.

Meanwhile, using those same metrics, my situation is like this:

* **$50,000/year** in guaranteed, tax-free income
* **\~$4,000/year** in family healthcare costs already covered (using the same conservative employer-plan comparison)
* **\~Paying $765** for my family when I have them.
* **\~$16,700/year** in future college costs largely offset through my education benefits

That puts the effective value of what I already have at roughly **$70,000 per year**, while still leaving my original **$50,000 in guaranteed, tax-free income** available to spend or invest however I choose.

On top of that, earning an addition **$30,000 per year tax-free** while attending graduate school, bringing my current annual resources to roughly **$80,000 in tax-free income.**

So, I guess my question is this:

Am I looking at this the wrong way or has "making six-figures" become more of a symbol rather than an actual display of financial security?

I'm not trying to argue that my position is objectively better. Theres a lot of nuances here. Someone making more than the base of six-figures clearly has more income. That's before the consideration of additional promotions, bonuses, retirement matching, stock compensation, and much better long-term earning potential.

At the same time, those careers often come with tradeoffs that don't get talked about as much. That income usually depends on continuing to work full-time (roughly 2,000 hours a year) and can be affected by layoffs, burnout, industry changes, or health issues. It can also mean being tied to a specific employer or location, having less flexibility to travel or take extended time off, and generally having less freedom over how you spend your time.

On the other hand, guaranteed lifetime income and benefits allow for a different type of security. The financial floor is a bit more flexible by pursuing more if desired, and not dependent on a full-time job.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Questions or comments:

1. So, what's your take?
   
2. Is there a side of the fence that seems more desirable to you?
   
3. Should I just accept the fact that no matter what I do her mother's approval will never be enough? Am I caring way too much about this lol?
   
4. has "making six figures" become more of a status symbol than an actual measure of financial security?
   
5. Which would you rather have?

THANK YOU FOR READING ALL THIS I KNOW ITS A LOT!!

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have young kids, and it’s got me thinking…

Should schools be teaching more about money?

Things like mortgages, interest rates, inflation, taxes, super and budgeting.

It feels like it’s mostly up to me and my wife to teach them, which seems crazy considering how important this stuff becomes once you leave school.

Am I missing something? Were you taught any real money skills at school?

Parents, do you feel the same?

Hi guys so I had a personal goal of having 6 figures in equity (whether it’s liquid or illiquid) by the time I hit 30.

I am happy to say I actually hit that goal way earlier than I thought—not saying that to brag or anything I just don’t have anyone I can tell in my real life, so I wanted to get this news off my chest somewhere.

I was curious though, what do most 25 year olds have in the bank? Whether it’s checking, saving, MMA, IRAs, etc. My friends and I don’t really talk about this at all so I have no idea what’s the normal.