I got these way too late into June but they just made me so happy that I wanted to share them here! Pride nail appointment will be booked in May next year lol

Have a pantastic week, beautiful humans 💕🫂

I'm pansexual and transmasc genderfluid. 90% of the time I can't tell if when I'm attracted to a guy it's gender envy, if I like him in a gay way or if I like him in another way (cause I'm not a girl so I don't really know wtf else I'd like him as lol. Maybe in a nonbinary way I guess right?). Wtf hahahaha Anyways just wanted to share and see if anyone else felt like this.

I’m pansexual and I’ve known I was queer since I was very small. I mean even looking at old preschool projects, stories I wrote it’s clear I was not like most of the kids (I remember fussing over a game of family saying I wanted to be the husband and I wanted to have a wife, or a story I wrote in kindergarten saying I wanted to marry a girl). Now that I’m close to college and have finished most of high school, I have new friends and access to a queer community. Yet somehow I find myself less and less sure of myself.

Starting in 9th grade really, a ton of my queer friends began to tell me that I’m queerbaiting, that I don’t suffer the way they do, and that I’ll never understand what they go through everyday, whenever I brought up sexuality or gender. Don’t get me wrong, I recognize how fortunate I am, but it still feels belittling to me and my identity. I was the first out kid in middle school, I had very short hair for the entirety of it, and I got bullied relentlessly for years for wearing rainbow pins and celebrating pride month. In turn I grew out my hair, stopped wearing rainbow anything, and even though I’ve liked both guys and girls, and my gender identity has always been somewhat fluid, I’m treated like a straight cisgender woman. Which is fine, but then my friends will whisper things and make little jokes around me, and then tell me ‘ohh you wouldn’t get it, you’re not gay enough!’ It just really puts me down.

So basically what I’m asking is am I allowed to say I’m queer? And If I do end up dating a guy, am I automatically excluded from the community? I feel lost and unsure of what I’m allowed to be. I feel like the assurance I used to have is gone :(

Painted a drinking glass for a friend's birthday. Thought you all would be amused.

This all happened during an event for a political party I’m a member of. The goal was to introduce our project on youth participation and solving the problems that affect us. Since one of the biggest issues is housing affordability, we built a tent city at the event and slept there for a night to show what the future will look like if we don't start fixing it.

I brought my own tent, but as someone who rarely goes camping, I couldn't set it up alone. A girl I had met just a couple of minutes prior offered to help me out.

Afterward, I offered her a cigarette. She accepted but suggested we walk away from the crowd so we wouldn't bother anyone with the smoke even though plenty of other people were smoking right there! We found a secluded staircase overlooking the river (the event was on an island) and wound up talking straight for about five hours. We vented about everything imaginable: art, politics, relationships, and personal stuff.

Around 2 AM we finally headed back to the group. A guy offered us a bottle of wine he wanted to get rid of, so we took two glasses and roamed to the other side of the island. We found a pub, sat down, and kept talking until someone suddenly shouted, "Everyone inside!" We assumed it was people from our event making an announcement, so we walked in.

It turned out to be a crew shooting a music video for a singer (I still have no idea who he was). Because we were caught in the first take, we ended up having to stay until the shoot wrapped at 6 AM. I even got two free packs of cigarettes because my "job" in the video was to exhale smoke at the artist when he walked past me.

Once it was over, we went back to the tent town to grab a sleeping bag and returned to our staircase, where she fell asleep on my shoulder. Eventually, we went back to our respective tents. She fell asleep, but I couldn't. I just wandered around the island, thinking and... well, being in love? I was smiling for no reason, wanting to kick the air, just completely happy.

When she woke up, we helped each other pack, and I walked her to the train station since I’m a local and she lives quite far away. Fortunately, I got her Instagram. We already have plans to meet up at the Pride parade.

Finally got the courage to try and say hello to my fellow pans here! (Anxiety is a helluva thing..). It took me a while to find my style, and I think I'm proud of it. It took me 21 years to find my "true me" and I'm happy.

Hope you all have a wonderful day/night! :)

That be me in the middle

What’re some healthy ways you all handle break ups?

My partner broke the news to me Tuesday night and I’ve been spiraling mentally and emotionally ever since.

Im going through some of my old stuff back home and I found this diary I exchanged periodically with my boyfriend at the time. We were like 15/16 back then. Just wanted to share since I thought it was hilarious, I completely forgot I wrote that at some point, even more funny he read it as well

I've noticed over the past few years that I'm especially drawn to fictional male characters who are written as panromantic, pansexual, or who have a capacity to form deep emotional connections regardless of gender.

For me, it's less about romance or sexuality and more about the emotional openness these characters often have. I enjoy seeing male characters who value trust, vulnerability, kindness, loyalty, and meaningful friendships.

I've also become interested in how these kinds of characters challenge traditional ideas about masculinity. They can be emotionally expressive, supportive of their friends, and comfortable forming close relationships without those relationships fitting into stereotypes.

Has anyone else found themselves drawn to these kinds of characters?

Are there any books, movies, TV shows, comics, anime, or games that feature well-written panromantic or pansexual male characters you'd recommend?

17M AuDHD Have been hanging out with this 16F ADHD girl lately, it seems like she’s flirting with me. I’ll discuss our feelings on our next hangout, but I feel like, because I never experienced mutual attraction, my brain doesn’t even consider it a possibility. I felt like writing this list helped me get a more objective view on our current position.

I’m also aware that men tend to overestimate women’ interest in them. So, I’m curious to see if you guys think I’m being somewhat rational in assuming that she’s flirting with me. Of course, I will ask her the next time I get to meet her, if she’s actually interested in me, or is just friendly like that.

1 - Flirting
I explicitly asked her if she was flirting with me. Instead, she asked if I was flirting, to which I answered something along the lines of “I’m flirting if you’re flirting”.
She said this is the way she typically talks to people whom she likes, and sees nothing wrong with flirting as well as finds it fun and interesting, mentioning that anyways it's too early to think of anything more serious than that.

2 - Seems* like she talks to me in a tone that is exclusive to me.
She also herself mentioned about thrice, that our conversations, in life and in text feel very calm and controlled compared to those with her other friends. 
We’ve also been on some hangouts with her friends, and friends of friends, I noticed that, even on those, she seems to be more present and focused on whatever the topic of conversation is, compared to other people.

3 - Brings up personal/sexual topics
Whenever we hang out alone, she often brings up or jokes on different sexual topics, such as finding mainstream porn not appealing to her, as she can’t get turned on to strangers, only to people she’s deeply connected with. 

4 - Initiates tactility at times.
On our first hangout with her other friends, she would randomly handshake, fistbump or lightly punch me if the situation allowed to do so.

5 - Laughs even at my not-so-funny jokes.
Pretty straightforward, she sometimes even laughs at things I say that are not intended to be jokes.

I couldn’t get myself to talk with her about my interest in her, the problem was initiating face-to-face.
So I figured, I’d tell her I like her over text, and that I would love to talk about it in person next time we hang out to make sure there are no misunderstandings.

I mentioned that I’m not expecting any coherent and definite answer from her, and would be happy to simply talk about it, as I noticed this communication gap worsened the quality of some of our hangouts.

I didn’t get any answer from her to my message, or any major change in her behaviour, I think that’s good, she understood my idea well of talking about it IRL and not in text.

*6 - After I texted her that I like her, she started reposting romance themed videos
On one of our hangouts, she wanted to start a tik tok streak with me, I didn’t think of it much, but some of her reposts started to appear on my fyp, and recently some of them are explicitly romance/in love themed. I don’t think I can just simply assume these are targeted for me to see, but I thought it’s an interesting coincidence.

This was about a week ago, because of the heatwave, we couldn’t hangout, but I think it’s good, as we both get the time to calm down/think, and approach our feelings with a cold head.

I (heterosexual 35m) met my pansexual friend (30f), we can call her A, through another pansexual friend (32f), we can call her B. A and I have been hanging out every weekend for the past month or so. Friend B wanted us to be friends because B lives far and A doesn’t have too many friends. As A and I hang out more and more I’ve noticed that we have so many similar interests such as music, movies, food, even liking white chocolate which is apparently pretty rare. First time A and I hung out we went out for her birthday, and spent the whole weekend together in a hotel just watching movies and drinking and would occasionally go out to check out some arcades for crane games (we both love crane games). Nothing ever happened between us that weekend because I wasn’t pursuing anything romantic with her at all and is still on the fence about it currently which is why I’m writing this dissertation. The week after that A and I went to a music festival together, she met up with some of her childhood friends, and everyone got pretty drunk except me because I usually don’t drink too much. Well A went to the bathroom a couple times and I accompanied her because everyone was too messed up. At one point I was holding her wrist to guide her back to where we were all hanging out to watch the set, she then rips her hand away and holds my hand with interlaced fingers. I’m like cool whatever. She then kept talking about how she’s gay then as we kept walking she tries to kiss me. I pulled away because it wouldn’t be right doing that in her condition. From that point the idea of her being just a friend shifted to something with potential. Which as I’m writing this up makes me dislike alcohol even more. When the show was done I had successfully brought her back to the hotel where we just hung out and watched movies. The next morning she asked me what happened because she doesn’t remember everything. We were laughing about everyone’s drunk antics but I left out the part of her trying to kiss me because it would make things awkward. We then spent the next 3 days just lounging around making each other laugh, watching shows and movies and just talking about life. I dropped her off at home and I’ve been thinking about her ever since. It sucks because on one hand we would have so much fun being in a loving relationship and on the other hand if the stars don’t align my feelings will ruin the friendship. Or I can just suppress my feelings and suffer in silence. Idk how to move forward.

TLDR: I (35m) am developing feelings for pansexual friend (30f) and don’t know what to do.

In these tumultuous times, we'll lift one another up with support, love,and kindness. 🩷💛💙