Hi all,
My baby is 6 weeks old and I can’t shake the feeling that we may have chosen the wrong name.
My husband has had a boys name picked out since before we were married. The caveat? I thought he was joking. Not sure I want to put our whole name on the internet but it’s a name like “Robin Robinson” or “Matt Matthews.” Perfectly normal names but felt a bit redundant to me.
Fast forward to us being pregnant with a boy-and he goes great we already have the name picked out. I go what do you mean? And he says the name I thought was a joke. (He’s laughing every time he says it so you have to forgive me for not thinking he was serious). He says it’s a solid name. Sounds like a super hero. I have my misgivings. When I bring it up to other people most agree with me. Sounds kind of like a joke.
I actually really like the first name but again just felt it was redundant with the last name and it sounding like a super hero was more of a turn off than a selling point-I didn’t want him thinking or feeling his name was a joke.
So we came up with two other names and decided we’d “see what he looked like” when he came out. The names were William and Henry-one was my grandfather who I was very close to and one was his grandfather. He was also born the day after my grandpas birthday so it felt fitting. I always knew William had to be at least the middle name for this reason.
While I was in labor we started discussing the name again. To my surprise, he had decided to concede and go with the grandpa names. Meanwhile, I had warmed up to the superhero name. So now we both had conceded to the other and just ended up more confused.
We ended up going with the grandpa names. I was extremely exhausted when we made this decision in the hospital and already felt some angst about not honoring my husbands dream name. I also angsted over whether it should be Henry William or William Henry. I wanted to honor my grandpa (William) but dislike some of the nicknames for William vs loving the nickname Hank.
In the hospital I brought up choosing the super hero name but husband said I had already expressed my distaste for the name (I don’t feel like I had? I just had reservations) so that name was off the table.
Within the first few weeks home I brought up multiple times that I regretted our name choice and that I wish we had gone with his choice. My husband was furious. Basically asked why I would poo poo the name and then turn around and want that. He thinks I’m being crazy and overthinking it. But this is my baby’s name!
It doesn’t help that my mom had expressed her distaste for Henry (the name we chose) when we were discussing possible names beforehand. I know it doesn’t matter what she thinks but it doesn’t help that the person I’m asking for advice is probably not being impartial. She thinks I should change it if I feel like it’s not right. When I brought this up to my husband he again was very angry and put his foot down that the name Henry is what we chose and that’s what his name is going to stay.
We also call him Hank for what it’s worth (I love this nickname but know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea). And his middle name is William so…Hank William. I accidentally ended up giving him a “larger than life” name anyway. No, I didn’t realize this in the hospital either. My husband says he did and again thought it “sounded cool.”
Basically tl;dr I like my baby’s name but feel really bad I shit all over my husbands dream name. We’ve been together a LONG time and I should have realized he wasn’t joking. Now that I’m post partum I think it actually probably would have been a great name. Do I try to convince him to change it or let Henry grow on me?
EDIT: THANK YOU GUYS for being so nice to an obviously very hormonal and insecure new mother. All these responses have given me so much confidence in my decision. I finally feel like I’m not crazy for not liking the other name! You all were so supportive of the name we chose and just harsh enough about the name we didn’t that you’ve put me at ease. I’m sure one day Hank will thank y’all, too.
