Liberal Democrat candidate u/Zestyclose-Dog2407 spent Saturday morning joining local volunteers on the Jurassic Coast, helping remove litter and marine waste from one of Southern England's best-known stretches of coastline as campaigning continued across the region.

Meeting volunteers shortly after sunrise, the candidate exchanged campaign leaflets for gloves, litter pickers and trash bags before spending several hours working alongside local residents, environmental charities and community groups. Together, the volunteers collected discarded fishing gear, plastic bottles, food packaging and other waste washed ashore following recent high tides.

During the clean-up, Zestyclose-Dog2407 spoke with organisers about the growing popularity of community-led environmental projects. Volunteers explained that while regular clean-up events had made a visible difference, preventing pollution in the first place remained just as important. Several also highlighted the economic importance of keeping Britain's beaches attractive for both residents and the millions of tourists who visit the South Coast each year.

The candidate later met local business owners from nearby cafés, guesthouses and seaside shops, many of whom described how the coastline remains one of Southern England's greatest assets. They stressed that protecting the local environment was not only important for wildlife but also for tourism, local jobs and the wider economy.

Following the clean-up, volunteers gathered for refreshments at a nearby beach café, where discussions turned towards conservation, coastal erosion and how local communities can work alongside government to protect Britain's natural environment.

"One of the things I've enjoyed most this morning is that nobody was waiting for someone else to solve the problem," Zestyclose-Dog2407 said.

"People simply turned up, rolled up their sleeves and got to work. That's something Britain could do with a little more of. Government has an important role to play in protecting our environment, but strong communities are just as important. When we work together, we achieve far more than either could alone."

The candidate also spoke about the Liberal Democrats' commitment to protecting Britain's natural environment while recognising the importance of coastal tourism and local businesses.

"Our coastline is one of Britain's greatest national assets. Looking after it isn't simply good environmental policy, it's good economic policy too. Clean beaches support tourism, local businesses and the communities that depend on them. Renewing Britain means leaving our environment in a better condition than we found it, while ensuring local people continue to benefit from it for generations to come."

The event concluded with volunteers posing for a group photograph overlooking the coastline before the candidate continued campaigning elsewhere across Southern England, carrying forward the Liberal Democrats' message that renewing Britain also means protecting the places that make it worth living in.

\The hour is late, and Tarkin’s vehicle is cruising along the A487 into the outskirts of Aberystwyth. Tarkin turns to face a camera; his campaign is shooting some “day in the life” footage for the Conservative Party YouTube channel.**

We’ve been on the trail for a while now, showing how much we love this beautiful land. We are about to head into Aberystwyth and spend some time on the university campus tomorrow. It’s been a long time since I graduated from uni, so it’ll be good to be around and hear what issues our bright young minds are concerned about.

*After a brief stay at a local inn and a morning cup of coffee, Tarkin and his team head to Aberystwyth University and proceed to walk around, talking to students and a couple of faculty members.\*
* *
Up first was Beca, an engineering major in her final year. Her and Tarkin spoke at length about her desire to stay in Wales and work on infrastructure projects in her hometown, but due to investment issues, she may have to move to Birmingham or Liverpool for work. Tarkin assured the young lady that he would fight in Parliament to secure additional investment for infrastructure projects in Wales, and help her keep her livelihood here.

Then came Ceridwen, the oldest of four siblings. He was concerned about safety on the streets as his three younger sisters walk home each day from school. Tarkin discussed the stability that a second term of Tory leadership would do for making justice more effective. They talked officer resources, better planning, and more police visibility in high-traffic areas.

The final guest of the day was a professor who was concerned about students’ readiness for uni. Tarkin assured the lady that the Conservatives were coming ready with reform to the education system, such that the next generation of students is ready for university and success in life.

Friends,

For too long, Britain has been told to accept decline. We are told that rising crime is inevitable, that our borders cannot be controlled, that government must remain slow and inefficient, and that ordinary working people must simply put up with a system that no longer works for them. We reject that defeatism.

We believe Britain can once again become a country that is safe, secure, fair and confident in its future. A country where laws are respected, public services work efficiently, and those who contribute are rewarded. That is the Britain we are determined to build.

Our first responsibility is public safety. People deserve to feel safe walking their streets, travelling home after work and letting their children play outside. That is why we will double the number of police officers on foot patrol. Visible policing prevents crime before it happens. It reassures communities, strengthens relationships between officers and residents, and sends a clear message that criminals will not own our streets.

But policing is about more than enforcing the law. Every day, officers encounter people experiencing severe mental health crises. We expect our police and immigration officers to deal with incredibly difficult situations, yet many receive limited specialist training.

Our government will introduce mandatory mental health support training for every police officer and immigration officer. Officers will be better equipped to recognise vulnerability, de-escalate dangerous situations, and ensure that those who need medical support receive it while keeping the public safe.

In 2026, there is no excuse for endless paperwork, duplicated forms and outdated bureaucracy. We will introduce a secure digital identity system that allows citizens to access government services quickly and safely. Whether renewing a driving licence, paying taxes, applying for benefits or dealing with local authorities, people should have one secure digital identity that simplifies their interaction with the state while protecting their privacy.

Now let us speak honestly about immigration. Britain has always welcomed those who wish to contribute, work hard and respect our laws. But immigration must be built on responsibility as well as opportunity.

That is why we will reform our migration and citizenship system from top to bottom.

We believe that everyone who comes to Britain to work should make a meaningful contribution to our economy. Where labour shortages exist, migrants will be expected to accept suitable employment allocated through government programmes. If Britain opens its doors, we expect those who enter to help strengthen our country.

We will also reform family migration. Immigration policy should prioritise the national interest and ensure that the system remains sustainable and affordable for taxpayers. Citizenship must once again become something to earn, not something to assume.

Those who wish to make Britain their permanent home should demonstrate commitment to our country, our laws, our language and our values. Those who choose not to pursue citizenship should not expect the same long-term privileges as those who have fully committed themselves to Britain.

Individuals without settled status should contribute to the public services they use. We will introduce a minimum tax contribution for those without settled status, while restricting access to the Personal Allowance and National Insurance advantages that are designed for those who have established permanent ties to the United Kingdom.

These reforms are not about creating division. They are about restoring fairness. The people who work hard, pay their taxes and contribute to their communities deserve to know that the system treats everyone equally and expects responsibility from everyone.

The Britain we believe in is a country where police officers are visible and respected. Where vulnerable people receive the support they need. Where immigration is controlled, fair and based on contribution. Where citizenship has meaning. Where the rules are clear, consistently enforced and applied equally to all.

Together, we can restore trust in government, renew confidence in Britain, and build a nation that rewards responsibility, protects its people and looks to the future with optimism.

Let us get to work.

As campaigning draws to a close, Mr Susan visits a microbrewery down the bottom of his village, to try out their unique lager, and discuss what can be done to encourage hiring more workers, and improve profit.

Mr Susan managed to chat with the locals for about half an hour, briefly with the cameras on, about Labour's plan to encourage more flexible forms of working, and replacing business rates with a land value tax.

Mr Susan also tried out the snacks that the catering company next door supplies to patrons of the brewery... Nobody makes sausage rolls like geordies do.

But the elephant in the room though was the match with Argentina, beginning in approximately 10 minutes. Mr Susan, concluding that nobody wants to talk politics after this point, ordered another beer, with a slightly appley taste, and got ready to watch the match.

Come on England.

Edit at 21:17: it's coming home!!!

Edit at 21:57: ah shit.

Labour Party Northern Ireland has selected u/Labour_Bob, as their candidate in Belfast East (on an all female shortlist). Graduate of Victoria College, (Private school and Oxford University). Labour_Bob is a former SPAD to Bridget Phillipson and worked in the office of Harriet Harmon before being selected.

Previously, she worked in the charitable sector in the Dignity in dying organisation.

Her major political positions are support for assisted dying, and a push for more equitable schools, including BREAKFAST CLUBS!!!, more teachers in state schools, to be paid for by VAT on private schools.

To ensure all Northern Irish voters are reached out to, Buzz visits all corners of Northern Ireland.

North Antrim

“This is a place I have come since I was a kid. Antrim is home to some of Northern Ireland’s most beautiful sights. The Giant’s Causeway beggars belief. It’s one of the most amazing natural rock formations in the world.”

“I want to protect these landscapes and keep them beautiful. I am a big believer in climate change action, protecting the planet for wildlife and future generations . I think the plans for Great British Energy will help us on this front. Hydro and particularly nuclear power are a key part of the battle against climate change.”

Foyle

“From what I have seen, the big problem that people here face is a lack of investment. Like many other places, there are too many shuttered shops. Just walking through the high street can be a bit depressing. But it does not have to be like this”.

“Our £10 billion growth fund will help breathe new life into places like this. It will create new jobs and bring people together in a sense of shared prosperity. That’s something we sorely need in Northern Ireland right now. "

Fermanagh and South Tyrone

“The Conservatives are for all parts of Northern Ireland. That includes rural areas like this as well as urban ones. I feel there is a lot we will do to look after people here.”

“One of the challenges farmers here place is, of course, Bovine TB. Tackling this issue will be one of our biggest focuses within the area of rural affairs. We will support farm shops. I often find that these places sell really high-quality, fresh goods and appreciate all the efforts that go into running them. Those of you perhaps less familiar with farm shops are doubtless aware of Clarkson’s farm. The latest series was a bit depressing I suppose, but it’s good to see now that Jeremy is recovering. To put it simply, he’s a top bloke”.

Belfast East

“It’s good to be in the mighty Belfast. Above all, when I think of it, I think of ships. This is the home of the glorious Harland & Wolff after all, manufacturer of such ships as the RMS Titanic. This city is a core part of Britain’s historic legacy of heavy industry, of progress. From here, Belfast connected the world. And it could do so again."

“I think our defence investment plans, more ambitious than any other party’s, will prove to be what revitalises Belfast shipbuilding. Britain has a great deal of coastline to defend. And Belfast has a great deal more ships to deliver, I am sure.”

As he passes through each part of Northern Ireland, flyers are handed out.

Liberal Democrat candidate u/TheVeryWetBanana swapped the campaign trail for the railway this week, travelling by train from Inverness while speaking with passengers about the importance of transport links across the Highlands.

During the journey, the candidate met commuters travelling to work, university students heading south and visitors exploring the region. While each journey had a different destination, many shared similar frustrations about reliability, connectivity and the limited transport options available to communities across rural Scotland.

TheVeryWetBanana also met railway staff during the visit, discussing the challenges of maintaining services across one of the most geographically diverse parts of the United Kingdom and the role rail continues to play in connecting communities, supporting tourism and strengthening local economies. "Good transport isn't a luxury," the candidate said during a stop along the route. "For many communities across the Highlands, it determines whether people can get to work, access

education, grow a business or simply visit family. Investing in modern, reliable transport is an investment in opportunity, and that's exactly why infrastructure forms such an important part of the Liberal Democrats' plan to Renew Britain."

The discussions reflected a wider campaign message that economic growth depends not only on supporting businesses, but also on ensuring people and goods can move efficiently between communities. The Liberal Democrats have committed to greater investment in

infrastructure as part of their wider programme to renew Britain's economy and strengthen regional connectivity.

As the train approached its final stop, one passenger remarked that the service had arrived precisely on time, a rare enough occurrence to raise a few smiles throughout the carriage. TheVeryWetBanana laughed that while no politician could personally claim responsibility for

a punctual train, ensuring reliable transport became far more likely when governments chose to invest in it.

The visit concluded with the candidate thanking passengers and railway staff before continuing campaigning elsewhere across Scotland.

Liberal Democrat candidate u/TheVeryWetBanana spent the morning meeting traders and shoppers at the historic Inverness Victorian Market as campaigning continued across Scotland.

The visit began with a tour of the market's independent shops, where the candidate spoke with local business owners about rising operating costs, staffing challenges and the importance of attracting more visitors to town centres. Several traders highlighted the pressures facing small independent businesses, while also speaking proudly about the role local markets continue to play within their communities.

After stopping to browse a local bookshop and picking up a box of handmade shortbread from one of the market stalls, TheVeryWetBanana accepted a recommendation from a nearby café for "the best coffee in Inverness" before sitting down with several local residents to discuss the issues affecting the Highlands.

"You can tell a lot about the health of a community by walking through its local market," the candidate said. "These businesses don't just create jobs, they create character. If we want Scotland's towns to thrive, government should be making life easier for small businesses, encouraging investment and cutting unnecessary barriers rather than adding to them."

Conversations throughout the morning centred on supporting local enterprise, encouraging

tourism and ensuring that economic growth is felt beyond Scotland's largest cities. The Liberal Democrats' plans to back small businesses, reduce unnecessary bureaucracy and invest in local economies formed a recurring theme during the visit.

Before leaving, one stallholder joked that politicians usually only appear when there's free food available. Smiling, TheVeryWetBanana replied that while the shortbread had certainly been an unexpected campaign highlight, the conversations with local businesses would

leave a much longer lasting impression.

The candidate concluded the visit by thanking traders for taking the time to share their experiences, promising to continue ensuring that Scotland's towns and local businesses remain central to the campaign.

Liberal Democrat candidate u/Zestyclose-Dog2407 began the day before sunrise with a visit to one of Sussex's award-winning vineyards, meeting vineyard workers, wine producers and local agricultural businesses as campaigning continued across Southern England.

Walking through rows of vines stretching across the South Downs, the candidate was given a tour of the estate before joining workers during the morning harvest preparations.

Discussions focused on how England's wine industry has expanded rapidly over the past decade, earning international recognition while creating new opportunities for rural communities and local employment.

The vineyard's management explained how improvements in production techniques and growing international demand had helped English wine establish itself as one of Britain's fastest-growing agricultural sectors. At the same time, they highlighted challenges ranging from labour shortages and rising production costs to the importance of maintaining smooth trading relationships with overseas markets.

During a visit to the winery itself, Zestyclose-Dog2407 met staff responsible for bottling, distribution and exports. Several spoke about the growing interest in English sparkling wine across Europe and further afield, while emphasising that efficient export procedures remained vital for smaller producers competing internationally.

"People often underestimate just how innovative British agriculture has become," the candidate said while touring the production facility.

"Standing here today, you can see that farming isn't simply about producing food, it's about science, technology, exports and highly skilled jobs. Businesses like this demonstrate exactly what Britain is capable of when entrepreneurs are given the confidence to invest and grow."

The visit also included a roundtable discussion with neighbouring farmers and rural business owners, who raised concerns about planning policy, access to investment and ensuring that younger generations continue to see agriculture as an attractive career. Several stressed that rural communities needed modern infrastructure just as much as Britain's towns and cities.

Speaking to local journalists afterwards, Zestyclose-Dog2407 argued that Britain's rural economy deserved greater recognition within national politics.

"Renewing Britain means recognising that economic growth doesn't only happen in our cities. It happens in places like this where family businesses invest, innovate and export British products across the world. Government should be helping businesses open new markets, supporting investment and ensuring that rural communities have the infrastructure they need to thrive."

Before leaving, the vineyard's owner invited the candidate to return once the next vintage had been bottled. Laughing, Zestyclose-Dog2407 replied that it was "an invitation that would be very difficult to turn down."

The visit concluded with the candidate thanking staff and volunteers before continuing campaigning across Southern England.

Lord Sydenham has wrapped up his lengthy, extensive, and effective campaign by taking aim at Labour's rubbish record on hygiene, crime, and justice.

On my trails fighting for the people of Central England and seeking re-election in the House of Commons, Home Secretary and sitting MP was disturbed to see the revolting impacts first hand of Labour's public sector chaos.

While strict budgetary measures put in place by the Tory government have gone leaps and bounds to addressing the issues, more is still to be done.

I refer to the Birmingham Bin Strike. A stalemate between Birmingham City Council and a group of unionised bin workers in Birmingham.

The council says of the just 17 workers affected by its funding model, all have been offered alternative roles of equivalent pay, as well as heavy vehicle training or voluntary redundancies.

Our GEIV Manifesto published by the Conservative and Unionist Party of MHoP UK shows that we will introduce minimum service levels and we will not to be held hostage by the militant unions again.

The good people of Birmingham (Brummys) can sleep easy knowing they will never live in squalor because of Labour again, thanks to our plan.

I would refer to the Window Theory. The standard you walk past is the standard you accept. Labour wants us here in Central England to have third-world living conditions and they are no different when it comes to crime rates - ranging from petty to indictable.

As Home Secretary, I would like to talk about my partnership with the Secretary of State for Justice in the manifesto writing process. I have said many times before that the single biggest issue when it comes to law and order today is our judiciary.

We have too many out of touch magistrates, and access to the justice system is difficult and confusing. We have pledged to increase funding for Legal Aid services, and we will see more barristers take up cases and help to push through judicial rulings. This will also help victims of crime who often struggle to navigate the legal system and walk away from reporting altogether which is part of the problem.

Part of the reason Labour's crime wave is getting out of hand is the time it takes to prosecute offenders. Justice delayed is justice not done. We have commenced trials of the Blitzcourts in three areas of England. These have been a tremendous success and is something I would like to see expanded more widely throughout Central England. These courts will see justice delivered more quickly.

We find time and time again our Police officers and as well the Home Office are working tirelessly to deliver cases to the courts. Yet they see the very offenders they bring for prosecution simply walk free due to the backlog.

Our courts need greater capacity and that is what the Conservatives are delivering. The Blitzcourts are just one example, as well as our promised funding increases for Legal Aid.

Having started this message on our need to end Labour's legacy of inaction and clean up the streets in the literal sense, I conclude by saying we need to do the same when it comes to crime. Only one candidate in this contest is tough on crime. And only one party can properly resource our courts and our gaols to accommodate what's to come.

Criminals be warned. If you want to continue to break the law and break down our society as you have been for too long, you should vote for Proud Marketing. But if you are a law abiding member of this community like me and are fed up with the rubbish, then your only choice to change things for the better is to vote for Lord Sydenham in Central England.

Authorised by Flat Artefact on behalf of the Conservative and Unionist Part of MHoP.

Conservative candidate for MP, Flat Artifact, stands in downtown Reading amidst pouring rain. He has a crowd of about 1000 assembled to hear him speak.

"People of Reading!

I am honoured to be speaking before you today, and I am honoured to be campaigning to represent you all in Parliament. After my accession to the leadership of the Conservatives, I am eager to share that our manifesto and plans for government will make Reading a better place to live. The most relevant policy here is this: the Conservatives are the only party that’s willing to say that we will raise visa costs for new migrants. For us, immigration goes beyond having a secure border, or being nice, but asking “is our immigration system part of a broader economy that works for our own citizens?” 

We are seeing some clear “no’s” from the consensus of the last three decades. We look specifically at highly-educated and skilled university graduates here and seeing that it’s more difficult than ever to find good work, whether that’s in a lab, in a company, or for the civil service. We are prepared to say that it makes no sense to keep a very open labor market for foreign university graduates if British university graduates are struggling in their own country. This is why we are raising visa fees if we return to Government. The Conservatives support immigration where it makes sense, but we support our own citizens before we support anyone else.

We also are keenly aware of what housing costs have done in terms of making Britain work for British people. When we win this election and when I form a government, we will work with Parliament to bring some unprecedented housing reforms. We will expand Help to Buy, and we will work on planning reform to bring down the costs to build and get more housing set up to help bring costs down. 

If we want to build a country where hard-working young people can start families and thrive, we need to start with ensuring that they can obtain quality jobs and secure housing at an affordable rate. Without those two things, we will be stuck in first gear as an economy for the foreseeable future."

Liberal Democrat candidate u/Meneerduif spent todays afternoon visiting a cross-community youth project in Belfast, meeting young people, volunteers and youth workers from across Northern Ireland to discuss opportunity, education and the future they are building together.

Hosted at a community centre bringing together young people from across Belfast's different neighbourhoods, the visit began with a tour of the facility. Staff explained how the project was established to ensure that young people from different communities, traditions and religious backgrounds have opportunities to meet, learn and grow together in an environment built on mutual respect.

For many involved, that mission remains just as important today. While Northern Ireland has changed enormously since the Good Friday Agreement, organisers explained that many young people still grow up in communities where opportunities to interact with those from different backgrounds can be limited. Through sport, music, volunteering, mentoring, education programmes and shared social activities, the centre aims to build friendships that simply would not otherwise have existed.

Youth workers described these everyday interactions as some of the most effective forms of peacebuilding. Rather than asking young people to dwell on the divisions of the past, the programme encourages them to work together on the challenges they all share today: finding good jobs, succeeding in education, improving mental wellbeing and building successful futures within Northern Ireland.

Throughout the afternoon, the candidate joined several of the activities taking place across the centre. In one room, volunteers were helping younger pupils prepare for upcoming examinations, while elsewhere groups of teenagers were taking part in workshops on apprenticeships, university applications and entrepreneurship. Outside, football and basketball sessions brought together young people from different backgrounds, with youth leaders explaining that shared activities often become the starting point for friendships that continue long after the organised sessions have ended.

Rather than delivering a speech immediately upon arrival, Meneerduif spent well over an hour speaking informally with participants, volunteers and youth workers. Conversations covered everything from the rising cost of living and access to affordable housing to university opportunities, public transport and career prospects within Northern Ireland.

Some hoped to become engineers, teachers or nurses. Others wanted to start businesses, work in technology, join the police or build careers in Northern Ireland's growing creative industries. Many simply wanted the confidence that they could stay close to their families and build successful lives without feeling they needed to leave Northern Ireland in search of opportunity.

Later in the afternoon, the candidate joined a roundtable discussion with volunteers, teachers, parents and several older participants who had themselves once attended the project before returning as mentors. Many reflected on how far Northern Ireland had come over the past generation, while also recognising that lasting peace is something that continues to be strengthened through everyday community work rather than political agreements alone.

Several youth workers spoke movingly about children who arrived at the centre nervous about meeting people from different backgrounds, only to leave months later with friendships that ignored the divisions which had shaped previous generations. They explained that these small, everyday moments rarely make newspaper headlines, but collectively represent some of the most important work taking place anywhere in Northern Ireland.

Addressing the group, Meneerduif reflected on what he had seen throughout the afternoon.

"Northern Ireland has travelled an extraordinary distance over the past generation. The peace secured through the Good Friday Agreement transformed lives, but peace is not something we simply achieve once and then forget about. It is strengthened every single day by people who choose cooperation over division, understanding over suspicion and hope over fear.

What has impressed me most today isn't simply the work taking place inside this centre. It's seeing young people who, a generation ago, might never have met one another, now studying together, playing sport together, volunteering together and planning their futures together. They aren't interested in reopening old divisions, they were talking about university, apprenticeships, starting businesses, careers and building successful lives.

Politics too often asks young people to inherit yesterday's arguments. Our responsibility is to ensure they inherit tomorrow's opportunities instead. That means investing in education, backing organisations like this one and giving every young person, regardless of their background, faith or tradition, the confidence that they can build their future here in Northern Ireland.

Renewing Britain means renewing opportunity. But here in Northern Ireland, it also means renewing the quiet confidence that the next generation can write a different story from the one they inherited."

Following the discussion, the candidate joined volunteers for refreshments before watching a mixed football session taking place outside the centre. Youth leaders explained how sport often provides the first opportunity for young people from different communities to meet one another, with many friendships continuing long after the final whistle.

Before departing, several participants presented Meneerduif with a group photograph taken earlier that afternoon. Thanking the organisers, he remarked that the greatest success of the project was not simply the activities it offered, but the confidence it gave young people to see one another first as classmates, teammates and friends, rather than through the divisions that had defined so much of Northern Ireland's past.

Following the provocative remarks by Mr Susan, and the response of his Conservative opponent Oracle warning of nationwide riots, Mr Susan decides to visit one of these riots at the Newcastle Monument.

Nearby are hundreds of commuters and passers-by, with the main event itself attended by 2 local journalists reporting the riot, 2 police officers monitoring the situation, a terminally online redditor, a man talking about jesus who is a little bit lost, and Mr Susan's elderly grandmother.

I want to thank you all for coming, so that I can perhaps clear up this confusion. In the head-to-head debate with the Conservative candidate, I joked that immigration was a problem - with too many southerners moving up north.

Of course, this was light-hearted. But there is a deeper serious point. The cost of living and differences in economic wealth between the north and the south of the country have been diverging after decades of neglect, and inability or lack of drive from central government to rectify the issue. Housing can be less than half the price of an equivalent house down south, but in the North East the minimum wage makes up around 80% of the average wage.

What we are seeing is a largescale movement of people seeking cheaper housing moving up north, and people seeking jobs moving down south. And this is because not enough has been done to build houses - especially in the south - and not enough has been done to encourage industry - especially in the north.

In this election, I am seeking a large-scale redistribution of power, and especially finance, so that local regions are able to prioritise the needs of their areas. Whitehall does not know how best to build a housing estate, or how to fix long-term economic inactivity in deprived areas.

If we had the local funding, then we here in the North East would finally have the metro that we stand next to today, actually go to the metro centre. It says it all about modern Britain that we haven't been able to achieve that in nearly 50 years, let alone have the metro go to the west of Newcastle and of Gateshead.

This Thursday, if you want our local places to have genuine power to do good, then vote Labour for our place-first manifesto, and our ambition to build a Britain that works.

The riot fizzles out as Mr Susan's grandmother is a little tired. Mr Susan posts a short video about the speech on mhopper.

As we come to the end of this election campaign, I am proud to see how Labour’s message has been received. On the doorstep, we have heard how people need real change, how they need a new deal that puts them first rather than treating them as mere votes alone. Indeed, just this morning, I met with a man here in Bristol, who told me that he had no trust in politics anymore, because why would he support people who clearly don’t support him?

Labour’s message throughout this election has been clear, we want a new kind of politics with a renewed duty of care. We want to see proper safeguards so that people are allowed to truly thrive without fear of destitution. Where the Lib Dems promise renewal, we know that theirs is an empty message - their candidate in this region has not even attended one debate, not one campaign event. The Tories put forward a candidate as Prime Minister, one who has serially avoided Parliament, attending only to vote, answer his MQs, and could only provide a single instance of him attending debate otherwise across this term.

If you elect me as your MP, I will serve you. In debate, I have a proven track record - providing UQs to the House holding the Government to account, challenging and proposing amendments to legislation I support, and in government sponsoring legislation to expand the franchise and reform local government. Furthermore, I pledge to you today that if you elect me, you will get what you see - a public servant working for the common good. Not a party fanatic who cannot see past party lines, but one who will vote based on the merits of a bill and the effects it will have on the people of this country. You will have an MP dedicated to the people of this region, who will fight for each and every person to get the fair deal that they deserve.

In our manifesto, I hope that you see the beginnings of such a process. A Labour government will reintroduce the roles of Minister of Equalities and Secretary for Welfare, roles that the current government abolished with no explanation, and then continued not to legislate on these issues at all. We see the good that such roles do, from ensuring a fair and accessible welfare state to protecting the rights of marginalised peoples in our country. It has always been unconscionable to me that they were abolished, and it is time to right that wrong.

Furthermore, we believe a government of the people should allow those people a louder voice. To that end, we shall be conducting National Commissions into devolution in all nations of the UK, with the aim of providing further powers to local authorities and the devolved nations. In Southern England, in practice that would mean government services would be more readily available, more easily accessible, and more tailored to the needs of the community it serves rather than enforcing a uniform rule on both Bristol and Billericay. Each area is different, and Labour recognises that. Where the Tories wish to block more devolution for ideological reasons, Labour is driven by the practical realities we see before us, and by the evidence of greater good that devolution brings.

Finally, perhaps the policy I am most proud to be supporting in this campaign, we shall reform SEN services for students in the UK, increasing funding and assets for those students too often left behind or written off, just because they have Dyslexia, or Dyspraxia, or ADHD. For too long, our education system has treated these students as problems, rather than students. I saw it myself at school, and on the doorstep more and more I’m hearing the same stories. “My son is consistently getting good grades, but they keep him in the bottom set because he’s autistic.” “The school classes my daughter as lazy, instead of addressing her ADHD.” It is an epidemic of heartlessness, and it has to end.

But our support for SEN students doesn’t end at the school gate. For the first time, we will put on the statute books a requirement for employers to follow EHCPs, legal documents that set out an individual’s needs in the workplace and how an employer can reasonably support them with those needs. This is a revolutionary step, and one I am proud to help champion, both as my party’s Deputy Leader and more broadly as a politician with a historic passion for this area of policy. Labour is sick of seeing students with different needs sidelined, ignored, or told it’s their fault, and we do not accept the culture in education or the workplace that allows it to continue. We will fight for all our students, with all our hearts. 

Tonight, when the campaign ends, you will be left with a choice. This is, it’s fair to say, a two horse race. Do you want a government that will fight for you, an MP whose record is one of service and action, or do you want more of the same, a government who refuses accountability, who limits the franchise based on ideology rather than evidence; an MP who refuses to represent you, and decries those who mention his poor record as lying? In short, do you want a Labour government of service, or a Tory government of greed? 

That is your choice this election, and I leave you with this: if elected, you will have a local candidate, a Devon boy who has lived in this region almost all my life. One who knows the issues we face, and who wants to see the lives of everyone, from the Cornish farmer to the Oxford professor, improve and grow at a pace they want. You will have a local champion in your corner, without reservation, hesitation or want of evasion. You will have proper representation. That is my promise to you, and I hope I am able to uphold it as MP. Thank you.

I look out at Port Talbot today, and I do not see an empty ledger. I do not see a community that should accept a managed, quiet decline.

What happens when we succumb to the dogma of global markets? I’ll tell you what happens. You start with high-minded spreadsheet resolutions, drafted by experts who have never known the sweat of a shop floor. You watch those ideas pickled into a rigid orthodoxy that ignores the real, visceral needs of people. And you end up in the grotesque chaos of a great industrial nation importing its bedrock materials from abroad, while 2,000 of its proudest sons and daughters are left to rely on a redundancy cheque! That is not economic planning; that is a betrayal of our national backbone!

Henry Jackson understood that national security begins right here, on the industrial floor. If a nation cannot forge its own steel, it cannot defend its own liberty! And Irving Kristol warned us decades ago about the moral failure of a state that replaces purposeful work with permanent dependency.

We do not want an intrusive, maternalistic bureaucracy that pathetically manages our poverty! We want a welfare state that acts as a rock-solid floor of social insurance—one that treats a worker not as a client of the state, but as a builder of the nation! We do not want handouts to replace our community; we want investment to guarantee our future. Keep the faith, stand together, and let us demand the dignity this town has earned!

Vote Labour!

Delivering one of his popular constituency addresses, sitting MP and Minister of the Crown in the stable majority Conservative government, Lord Sydenham spoke to a crowd gathered for the evening meal...

Firstly, thank you all for being here tonight. It is heartening to see such interest and engagement in our political process, and equally heartening to receive your messages of support and encouragement once again this election.

This election we here in Central England see a Tale of Two Leaders. Two distinct choices for who will become our next Prime Minister.

Neither man has held this office before. But both are vying to be the leader of this great nation and make decisions which will affect all of us here in Central England.

The first - Sir Flat Artefact. He comes to this election following a respected, successful, strong, and determined predecessor. A man whose honour and dedication for this country saw him not forced out of his position in disgrace (As we sadly see too often in this country), but step aside at the height of his popularity leading a stable and functioning majority government.

The contest which Iceman's replacement won was fiercely contested by a number of competent candidates. I will return to this in a moment.

Flat Artefact leads the re-election campaign of this government having come out as the cream of the crop, stepping into the role of Tory Party leader with the grace and goodwill of his former leader, the Prime Minister Iceman, his party, and hopefully very soon, the electorate.

On the other hand: We have the vacuous leader of the Labour Party. This is a leader surrounded by talent and ambition in his party room. He refuses to stand for debate. Inside Analysis refuses to answer the questions put to him on behalf of the British public. And despite the list of Labour Party hopefuls who offer this country even close to the quality of politician provided by the likes of Iceman and Flat Artefact, he refuses to stand aside. Why?

Ego knows no bounds. This man who would try to convince us he can deliver for constituencies like mine in Central England recently stood as a candidate for the Communist Party of Great Britain (a failed ideology). Now he wants us to believe he is a dyed in the wool Labour man, through and through. I thought he was a Communist?

He is a party-shopper. Looking for the reward without doing the work. He changes parties more often than a newborn changes nappies.

Here in Central England, my opponent is no different.

Proud Marketing recently stepped down as the leader of the Greens. Why? Because there was no chance of victory. Like his leader, he is looking for a cheap win without the track record of delivering as Secretary of State as I have. But I have some rather grim news for my opponent. He won't be the Prime Minister as he is being blocked by a man who is hanging around like a bad smell. His refusal to step aside is trumped only by his refusal to turn up to debate.

I've been challenged and questioned on my track record for justice. I'm glad this has been raised, as it's one of the areas I most consistently am praised for by my constituents. We have seen under this government real changes to support our police men and women on the beat, not patrolling Twitter. This is directly linked to visible policing to address crime, not diversity quotas.

I believe the deterrence delivered by a functioning judiciary that meets community expectations is crucial to reducing crime. That's why we have pledged the expansion of blitz courts across the country to relieve pressure on the judicial system. We have promised additional funding to legal aid. And following on from the introduction of anti-flytipping laws in the previous term as well as our focus on real police work, we will enact a Public Confidence law that sets additional penalties and sentencing guidance for those in public office who have been convict and damaged public confidence in their profession. The rule of law must apply to all, and we will send a message that crime is not acceptable to push the rates down even further.

But we need your help to do this. Reject the egoists on the other side. Those too worried about who can add PM to their list of personal achievements rather than what they will do for places like Central England.

I'd be honoured to have your vote once again so we can continue on the important work we have already done thus far.

Thank you.

Lord Sydenham walks away from the address to a rousing crowd cheering and applauding.

Coventry, Warwickshire; The Liberal Democrats today continued their Renew Britain Tour with a visit to the University of Warwick. Following campaign stops in Dover and Leeds, party leader Meneerduif spent the day meeting students, researchers, lecturers and young entrepreneurs to discuss Britain's future as a global leader in innovation, research and higher education.

The visit included discussions with university researchers working on emerging technologies, student entrepreneurs developing new businesses and academics involved in international research partnerships. Conversations centred on investment in innovation, strengthening Britain's research base and ensuring that talented young people have every opportunity to build their future in the United Kingdom.

Speaking outside the university's Faculty of Engineering, with students and researchers gathered nearby, Meneerduif outlined the Liberal Democrats' vision for Britain's future economy.

Meneerduif:

"Every stop on this tour has told a different part of Britain's story.

In Dover we spoke about trade. In Leeds we spoke about enterprise. Here at Warwick, we're talking about something even more important: the people who will shape Britain's future.

Walking around this campus today, I've met students developing ideas that could become tomorrow's businesses, researchers working on technologies that will define entire industries, and young entrepreneurs already thinking about how they can solve some of the biggest challenges our country faces. Spending time here reminds you of something very simple: Britain has never lacked talent. What we sometimes lack is the confidence to invest in it.

For too long, we've treated investment in universities, research and innovation as though it were a cost. It isn't. It is one of the most valuable investments any country can make. Every scientific breakthrough, every successful start-up and every new technology begins with someone being given the opportunity to ask questions, challenge assumptions and develop new ideas.

The Liberal Democrats believe Britain should aspire to be the best place in Europe to study, to innovate and to build the businesses of the future. That means supporting our universities, backing research and making it easier for promising ideas to become successful companies. It also means giving students the international opportunities they deserve.

That is why we want Britain to rejoin the Erasmus+ programme and strengthen our participation in European research programmes such as Horizon Europe. Collaboration has always been one of Britain's greatest strengths. Our universities do not become stronger by working alone; they become stronger by working with the very best minds from across Europe and around the world.

Some people see cooperation with Europe as a political question. I see it as a practical one. When a British researcher can work with colleagues in Germany, when a student from Warwick spends a year studying in the Netherlands, or when an innovative British company gains access to world-leading research partnerships, Britain becomes stronger. Knowledge does not stop at national borders, and neither should opportunity.

The next generation deserves a country that believes in their potential. They deserve a government that invests in discovery, rewards innovation and opens doors rather than closes them. If we want stronger economic growth over the next twenty years, the answer will not simply be found in tomorrow's Budget. It will be found in today's lecture theatres, laboratories and workshops.

That's what Renew Britain means."

*AI disclaimer:  AI was used to help edit the attached picture.

To kick off his campaign, the Conservative candidate in NI decides to hold a Q&A in the village of Strangford.

Can you guarantee us that you will staunchly defend the Union?

“Of course. I am a passionate unionist and believe strongly in this family of nations. I am the Conservative and Unionist candidate after all. Everyone in Northern Ireland should know then to vote for me if they want to maintain our ties to Great Britain. We also have the actions to back up our words, so to speak. The 10 billion pound growth fund will invest in Northern Ireland as well as Great Britain. It will tie us closer together, I know. Great British Energy demonstrates a united approach to tackling common challenges of high energy prices. Conservative policies reflect a strong appreciation for the Union.”

“However, I want to also build a version of unionism in Northern Ireland disconnected from sectarianism, that is more inclusive, globalised and diverse. I think that means building bridges with historically nationalist communities. I think it means supporting the Irish language. This will be necessary to maintain the Union as Northern Ireland undergoes demographic change. Personally, I identify as equal parts British, Irish and Northern Irish”.

How would you say you were an effective MP in the previous term and how would you keep that up if reelected?

“Thank you. Starting with my previous record, I was, in fact, the only MP with 100% voting attendance. I think that speaks for itself in showing my commitment to my job and our nation. It’s certainly better than the performance of the other Northern Ireland MP. “ 

“In the coming term, I pledge to bring up Northern Ireland’s interests in debates. I will keep in contact with my constituency office and the people here to ensure that I am representing them well. I won’t forget where I came from. “

How will the Conservatives keep Northern Ireland safe?

“I think we have the most compelling defence policies of any party right now. We are pledging 3.5% of GDP spending on defence by 2030. That’s more than the Lib dems are pledging. Meanwhile Labour is not making any promises on that front. Their manifesto is little more than a disorganised collection of vague bullet points. Defence is no exception. The Conservatives, on the other hand, will build a well-equipped, strong armed forces.”

“I would also like to highlight what we have already done in this area. The Cyber Insurance Act proves that we have a good understanding of the modern threats facing Britain today and how to tackle them. This legislation will prove invaluable in the decades to come, I am sure.”

Posters are distributed at the end and throughout Strangford.

Flat Artifact, Leader of the Conservatives visited Rolls Royce in the Southern England constituency of Filton & Bradley Stoke this morning to convey his parties support for the pioneering work of British industry giant Rolls Royce to deliver new SMR nuclear reactors across the country.

He praised the development of the first test facility, and the preparation of factory infrastructure for it's eventual mass production. He stressed that Britain remained a leading nuclear power in the world, and that this new technology would deliver cheaper energy for the British people for decades to come.

With the Conservative manifesto's ironclad commitment to this technology, he stressed that the work needed to be expediated for the energy security needs of the nation. Emphasising the speed at which these reactors could be built, and the vastly reduced cost, Flat Artifact called Rolls Royce essential to the future boosting of Britain's energy independence.

Until then, Flat Artifact said that the British Taxpayer had known Conservative help through the emergency energy act passed by his party in the last parliament, unlocking the potential of North Sea oil and gas for the British economy. He stressed that his party's commitment was to deliver oil and gas from these projects at greater pace with new legislation that would expand the exploration and drilling already ongoing.

Rolls Royce he said would benefit from the Conservative manifestos promises to equip the next generation of young people with skills. They were the designers, technicians and engineers of tomorrow.

Workers at Rolls Royce cheered as the Conservative Leader promised vast investments by the British Government in SMR technologies with the company, with the ambition of rolling out facilities across the country.

Chaos erupted on social media as the Labour Party during the election debate seemingly compared southerners to illegal migrants crossing the channel in small boats.

The comments made have seemingly sent the entire northern England into collective chaos with even regional police forces saying off the record that the comments could spark nation wide riots.

The Chief Constable of the Durham Constabulary said “whilst we appreciate the concerns of the Labour Party candidate, there is currently no evidence that people moving from Kent to Newcastle is comparable to illegal migration trends, such comments can make the public scared and cause endangerment to public safety”.

Conservative Candidate Oracle also responded saying “here’s my plan to solve immigration, if I win the election, I’ll offer the Labour candidate a paid ticket to Calais, an inflatable dinghy, a life jacket, his favourite foods and a box of balls as Labour certainly need to find them”.

As polls come to a close today the question remains if we will see the Labour Candidate in person or if they are too busy trying to get a visa from the home office to get from Kent to York.

At the time of publication the Labour Party declined to comment, because it was trying to work out if the M25 was a passport checkpoint.

The Conservative campaign meanwhile produced evidence that no dinghy’s have been brought using campaigning funds after a serious of questions from the electoral commission with a spokesman saying “any dinghy’s brought for the Labour candidate will come out of oracle’s own pocket, we all know the law, unlike the Labour Party”.

Today, in Exeter, people face genuine crises. The young can’t get stable work, and the old don’t have that ancient assurance of care in their old age, an assurance any society worthy of the name should be able to provide. What the people of the UK need isn’t more politicians who won’t fight for you, nor empty promises; what people need is a new hope in politics, a party willing to fight for you and get things done. Labour is that party. 

Across this term and into the campaign itself, we have been consistent on one message: A government needs to remain accountable to the people, to Parliament, but not just to themselves or their friends. Instead, what we’ve seen is a government of cronyism, of Tory misrule. A government endemic of the self-same sickness in our politics, that those who seek to serve seek to serve themselves, not their country. As the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, I promise you today, if you elect us we will serve you tirelessly. 

I start by pointing you to our manifesto pledges on Public Services, an area too often overlooked or ignored. In the UK, in 2026, there are still children going to school hungry because their parents can’t afford to feed them adequately. Labour will expand free school dinners to make it a universal scheme, open to any child at any school in this country. We will expand the use of Breakfast Clubs, ensuring every child gets an adequate meal to prepare them for the school day. But that doesn’t address the root cause of this issue; as such, our government will invest in job centres and their resources, to ensure that those who need help get it. Instead of blaming them for being unemployed, we will help them to gain meaningful work and provide for their families.

I point you to our pledges on Home Affairs. For too many, this country doesn’t feel safe anymore. I feel it myself, and governments pledge to address the issue again and again, and then just never do. Trust in policing has fallen considerably in recent years and so to address this, the Labour Party will double the amount of foot patrols by officers across our term of government. That way, officers are approachable by the community they’re accountable to, and more easily accessible in case of an issue. But we recognise this doesn’t solve the issue on its own, nor can it. Our police are trained to tackle crime, but too often they’re not trained in how to address crises. For this reason, we will mandate that our police and immigration officers undertake mandatory mental health support training to handle these situations more delicately, and ensure safe outcomes for all involved. 

I could wax lyrical to you about what you’ll find in the manifesto, but if anything has been made obvious to me this term, it’s that actions count more than words. Labour has gone from being nearly thrown out of parliament entirely to being the second largest party in just one term. We have consistently been the vanguard in addressing the Tory government’s refusal to engage with parliamentary procedure and debates, and we have consistently held them to account. Be that for their use of British Overseas bases for photo opportunities, for their Health Secretary stating he had looked into abolishing the NHS, or for the scandal of “Kebabgate”, we have done what no other Opposition party would, and we have been there at every step to say “This is wrong”. 

Under a Labour government, I cannot promise the world. At the end of our term of office, there will still be people who struggle, those who need mental healthcare, institutions that need further reform. But I can promise you that at the end of our term in government, people will have more safeguards if they fall into hard times. I can promise you that if you lose your job and struggle to find employment, your kids won’t go to school hungry. That you will be able to find a policeman on your street if you have issues, and that that officer will have the proper training to help you. We are the party of Jenkins, of Bevan and of Wilson. We are the party of service, and if you elect us as government, we will serve you with all our might.