TLDR: Biotechnologist who has already moved to new countries two times, is afraid to make the same mistakes again, and looking for recommendations for stable and calm countries.

Hey everyone, I want to share my story because I’m at one of my lowest points right now and just really need to vent and express what I’m feeling.

I’m 30 years old, originally from a very poor South American country where a lot of people dream of leaving due to the lack of opportunities. I graduated back home with a master’s in biotechnology and after that worked in a lab for a while I was looking for jobs in Europe.

Finally, at 26, I got a job in Germany and spent two years there. I was earning minimum wage, but I was happy because to me, it felt like a lot (or so I thought at the time). I lived comfortably in a shared flat and was even able to save money. I loved the tranquility, order, and cleanliness of Germany; it was a massive contrast to where I grew up.

Eventually, my contract ended, and the company didn't renew it due to a lack of funding (they laid off several other people, too).

After that, I was desperate to find another job and applied everywhere. I was offered a position in the Netherlands making around €3k, but I turned it down because of the working conditions that involved rotating shifts and extreme safety protocols that meant no bathroom or food breaks for the full 8-hour shift.

Then I received a PhD offer in Spain and thought, "Why not?" I already spoke the language, and even though the salary was low, I figured the cost of living would be cheaper and I’d walk away with a doctorate. So, I took it.

At first, things were fine, but I quickly realized I had made a huge mistake. The cost of living here is almost the same as, if not higher than in Germany. The only thing I’ve found cheaper is dining out, which I don't do very often anyway.

I calculated that my purchasing power, and my ability to save, ended up being 15% less than in Germany. On top of that, I feel like locals will never really see me as one of them. Even though I speak the language, I’ve actually managed to make fewer friends here than I did in Germany.

I don’t really enjoy the lifestyle here either. Everything feels so chaotic and messy, people are very loud, and life seems to constantly revolve around partying, which just isn't my thing. I’m not bashing Spanish people at all; I think most of them are great and they are a happy bunch and enjoy expressing it. But I’m a very calm, introverted person who needs personal space, and loud environments stress me out. I don’t care about the beach or sunny days, I long for cold weather, snow, forest and mountains.

I feel completely stuck, sad, and depressed. I have zero energy to work, go to the gym, or do anything else. I’ve realized that I’m f*ck*ng broke, and I’ve wasted my best years earning breadcrumbs by European standards. I’ve been saving aggressively because I dreamed of settling in Europe, buying a house, and starting a family, which are things that require a lot of money, but now that goal feels almost impossible. I didn’t even enjoy the money I earned all these years.

I also very fearful of moving again and start a life in another country just to then realize that I don't like it there and end up moving again. I feel like my time is running out to settle somewhere.

Even if I finish my PhD and land a better job elsewhere, I feel like I'm already way behind economically compared to others in Europe, and I have no family support here to rely on.

I still have two years left to finish my PhD, but I’m already thinking about moving away afterward. I have become a Spanish citizen so I can move anywhere in the EU. I don’t know where yet, but I want to gather as much information as possible, so I don't make the same mistake again.

I’m looking for a country that:

- Is clean, organized, predictable and calm like Germany.

- Has lots of natural areas to explore.

- Has High Purchasing Power and allows for Long-Term Financial Growth.

- Has a clear path to social integration and belonging.

- Has a language that I can speak (English, Spanish, German and a bit of Italian) or learn (For example, sorry Hungary, you have a beautiful country but the language is impossible)

I’m considering countries like:

- Denmark

- Ireland

- The Netherlands

- Austria

- Germany (Again)

- Sweden

- Norway

- Switzerland

- South Tyrol in Italy

- Northern Spain?

- Belgium?

- Poland? (but language barrier is higher)

I don’t know, I feel overwhelmed with the possibilities, and I would love to hear your recommendations.

Thanks in advance for reading all of this and taking your time to answer.

Wherever I go, It seems like all online spaces have been taken over by xenophobes or bots/puppets acting for them. I know this is reddit and not representative of the actual population, but I do wonder how much of it is real.

I used to think Spain was a pretty diverse and welcoming country, but without looking for it, I keep running into openly xenophobic remarks like "go back to where you came from" etc. with lots of upvotes. r/Spain and r/goingToSpain have been really unfriendly so I left, but I know that many country's main subreddits are toxic.

I have moved multiple countries since early childhood, so I don't really have a home country to go "back to" even if I wanted to. What am I supposed to do?

Is there even any hope in ever finding a place that doesn't actively hate you for just existing? Has anyone found a place that welcomed them?

I’m in a bit of a crisis - I’ve been living abroad since I’m 19 (mainly in the Netherlands and Denmark). I love how progressive the countries are, things just work there and people are mostly nice.

The reason why I left Germany back then was because the culture just wasn’t for me - too rude, too narrow-minded, not feeling safe as a woman in many big cities, stricter hierarchies at work, bureaucracy etc.

However, I do start to miss home - speaking the language, getting inside jokes, being closer to family.
I’m considering Munich which might be a tad too conservative for me, but the people seem friendly, the city clean/safe and the nature is great.

Anyone here who has made a move back home to Germany after many years?

Maybe it is my mental state these days, but I started feeling extremely difficult to get motivated by anything. I moved from the US to Switzerland last year; I moved to the US when I was a teenager from an Asian country, so I had an experience adjusting to the new country. However, this move is hitting me differently.

I moved alone with a job, and have to say a good job. Life in Switzerland itself has been amazing. I love the fact that everything just "works". Things are relatively orderly, respectful, and quiet. The nature is quite close and accessible, so I am trying to take advantage of it whenever I have an energy.

Though the summer sun is long and great, I started feeling more lonely and isolated lately. I didn't speak any German when I moved here, but learned to speak to be able to get by daily life. Even though I work in a field where our work language is English, I found it hard to make work friends. I am trying to organize after work beer or so, but the distance seems to not become close.

I work with a lot of colleagues from Germany, and one thing I kept noticing is the amount of complaints, gossip, and responsibility shifting. People complain when someone covers them during the vacation as well as when someone doesn't pick up their slack proactively. I don't know what exactly they want. From day 1, I had different people come to me complain about everyone in the team, which I found it very bizarre.

Within one year, I went through 3 major re-org's. My first manager at this job was quite abusive - made everyone in the team figt, pitted everyone against each other; we had half of the people turn over within less than a year because of him. As a new person, I tried to mediate some situations, but after literally getting yelled and called names, I also became a shell of myself. The manager left the company, but for some reason, I feel constantly anxious.

I want to try another year or two, because I had done this kind of adjustment in earlier days of my life. It just hits differently maybe because I am older, or maybe because of my situation, or maybe because I am just weak. In the morning full of anxiety during commute, I just wanted to share what was in my chest borrowing the power of anonymity. Thanks for reading.

How did you cope?
I’m an American who has lived in Australia for the past seven years. Australia is my home. My boyfriend, closest friends, career, routines, independence, apartment and the version of myself I feel most connected to are all there.

A few months ago, my mom was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. I’ve now moved back to the US to be with her, without knowing how long I’ll be here or when I’ll return to Australia. She has maybe 6-12 months to live.

Now that I’m here I’m deeply grieving the life I left behind. Im dislocated from my relationship, community, financial independence, home, and identity. It feels like I’m being torn between two lives, and whichever country I’m in, I’m sacrificing time with someone I love.
This was always my greatest fear about building a life so far from my family: that one day I would be forced to choose between the people I love at home and the life and people I love overseas.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you handle the guilt, uncertainty, resentment, grief, and pressure to make the “right” choice? Did you stay indefinitely, move between countries?
Every choice I make comes with so much pain and sacrifice.

hi! i’m a norwegian M28, i live in a mid-sized city in norway and i’m looking for a new home.

the city feels completely dead, i feel isolated and bored, the nightlife is atrocious and the music scene is terrible, it is ugly and industrial, and there is a never ending sea of grey skies and rain. i feel like i am just surviving, or slowly dying, but i want to live! i want to swim in the ocean, dance and sing, grow plants, build houses, create businesses, meet cool people and beautiful women, and wake up excited about the day.

i’m looking for a city that feels vibrant and alive, beautiful architecture, nature, parks, hills and viewpoints, a more social environment where it is easier to make new connections, where there are more ambitious people and opportunities to create and build things, where i can live a happier life. i’m way into music and have been playing guitar going on ten years, so a good music scene would be great! but really i just want more life in my life. i’ve been considering portugal, spain or italy, but i’m open to other suggestions.

really what i want is a solarpunk, renewable energy, self-sufficient city built in the forest living like the elves, dancing around the campfire under the stars, but that’s another matter. maybe one day.

i know that an ideal place doesn’t exist and that not everything will get fixed by going somewhere new, but if you were a handsome young-ish adult with freedom to go and create a better life, where would you go? thank you!

Has anyone hired a lawyer or other professional to handle their temporary residence permit process? What permit and how did it go? How much did it cost? Thank you!

I am an American in Croatia for 68 more days (Schengen 90/180). I am considering applying for the digital nomad temporary residence permit. I'm sure I qualify and I can find all the forms and instructions. I know Croatian bureaucracy can be tough to navigate, especially for a foreigner who doesn't speak Croatian. I am concerned that trying to apply on my own could be much more difficult and risky of time that hiring a professional to handle it for me.

Hi all! I don’t know if this post is allowed here but I am hoping to gain some insight and I thought this community might have that. I did not move out of my home country (US) but I moved to the other side of the country to be closer to family and am now more immersed in my ethnic/cultural background by way of that move.

I have really been struggling and feeling like I’m almost having an identity crisis. I used to carry my ethnic/cultural background around with me like a little internal home and I never really felt scrutinized because the place I grew up and lived most of my life wasn’t too familiar with my background and I didn’t meet a lot of people who shared it- so it was more something that could belong to me in a way. But now being more surrounded by it I just feel like I am confronted with all of the ways that I don’t belong. It’s like something that used to give me identity is now something that I am not “enough” of or don’t really belong in so I’m just floating and don’t feel grounded. I worked hard in life to find my sense of grounding so it’s really messing with me.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Like maybe moving to the home country of their family? And how did you cope?

We have been working on cleaning a traditional riad that we purchased in the medina of the Rabat medina in Morocco. I have had a difficult time finding professional contractors to do things like electrical work and plumbing. I have to say that the situation in Morocco is not what I thought it would be. I was expecting many people to be employed in trades and contracting. I thought this was a large part of the economy, but it seems like there is not enough demand. Most Moroccans seem to want to spend as little as possible and skip maintenance all together. They do replace things after they fall apart, but I am not used to that sort of lifestyle. Also, there seems to be a sort of practice of hiring people to do work for which they have neither training nor experience. My landlord does this for every repair job for example. That makes me very anxious. So I would like some advice on regular work such as electrical, plumbing, air conditioning, and carpentry. I am prepared to pay an unreasonably high amount for such work if it is high quality. I know that there are buildings and homes that are well maintained, but I just need to find the people involved. Any advice or referrals would be very appreciated. Also, if you want to talk about contracting or the economic systems of Morocco or similar countries, I would like to talk.

I have lived in Europe for around 8 years. When I first moved, I was told "can't wait to visit you". In reality, I mostly went back home to visit my family. Even my family with the financial means and time off, did not bother to visit at all, expecting to me to go home all the time. I didn't realise it bothered me, until recently when I thought "maybe someone will be interested in how I am establishing my life, instead of just hoping I return". What are your experiences?

Hi everyone! Sorry, not sure if this is the best subreddit to post on butttt....

I was wondering if anyone has experience obtaining an internship visa for India, particularly for internships with NGOs or non-profit organisations as an non-Indian.

From what I've read, internships with NGOs may involve additional requirements or restrictions, so I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through the process. How straightforward was it? Were there any unexpected hurdles or things you wish you'd known beforehand?

I'm currently looking for internships and early-career opportunities with NGOs, foundations, research organisations, social enterprises, and government initiatives across India. My interests are in education, child protection, gender equality, public health, community development, and public policy.

I know that finding the internship itself will probably be the biggest challenge, but I wanted to understand the visa side of things as early as possible.

Context: I spent 4 months travelling around India last year and absolutely lovedddd it, so am now hoping to do a year of internships/working there :). I have a Japanese passport.

Any advice, experiences, or recommendations would be hugely appreciated. Thanks in advance!

TL;DR: If you're an international specialist offered a contract at Barbados Fast Print, be extremely cautious. Ensure every financial term, housing expense, and salary deduction is clearly documented in writing. My wages were heavily reduced by unexpected deductions below standard expat rates. Read my full post before accepting an offer.

Hello everyone,

I’m an expat living and working in Brussels, and I’m considering whether to move to Vienna for a job opportunity.

For some context: I’ve been living in Brussels for about two years. I have a job that I really enjoy, I’m learning French (currently around B1), and I’ve recently applied for a position in Vienna. The role also seems like a great fit, and I’m currently in the interview process. I have no idea whether I’ll get an offer, but given notice periods and the logistics of relocating, I want to think things through in advance.

I’ve visited Vienna several times because my boyfriend used to live there. I really admire how organized the city is, how beautiful it is architecturally, and the cultural scene, especially the museums and art. It also seems like a place where I could imagine settling down. I’m originally from Eastern Europe, so Vienna would also be much closer to home, and having mountains nearby is something I really miss.

At the same time, I’m unsure what day-to-day life is like if you don’t speak German (I currently don’t). I’m wondering whether it’s easy to integrate socially, whether English is enough for everyday life and hobbies, and whether it’s harder to feel like you belong compared to a more international city.

On the other hand, while Brussels isn’t exactly known for its beauty or cleanliness, there are many things I genuinely appreciate about living here. I work for the EU, and I enjoy being in such an international environment where it’s easy to meet people from all over the world. I love how diverse the cultural scene is, you can spend one day at a festival celebrating Moroccan culture and the next watching Scandinavian films at a cinema festival. I also really value the friendships I’ve built here, and my boyfriend now lives in Brussels too. I like that the city has both an alternative, underground side and plenty of more fancy events.

My hesitation about Brussels is that it sometimes feels like a temporary city, especially for people working in EU institutions. I’ve already seen several friends start thinking about moving elsewhere, so I’m not sure whether I should base my decision on the social circle I’ve built, even though those friendships are important to me. I also wonder whether Brussels is somewhere I’d want to settle long-term, considering issues like homelessness, cleanliness, and access to nature. I miss having mountains and being able to easily escape into nature for a weekend.
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have lived in both cities, or from expats currently living in Vienna.

Some questions in particular:
- How does everyday quality of life compare between Brussels and Vienna?

- How difficult is it to build a social life in Vienna if you don’t speak German initially?

- Is English sufficient for work, hobbies, and making local friends, or does not speaking German remain a significant barrier?

-For those who have lived in both cities, what aspects of each city only became apparent after living there for a while?

- Looking back, are you happier with your decision to stay in Brussels or move to Vienna, and why?

When you move abroad as a couple, one of you usually ends up carrying more at first. The one who speaks the language, deals with the paperwork, knows how the system works, handles the money side of things. The other one leans on that for a while, because you kind of have to.

Then at some point it starts to shift. The one who was leaning finds their feet, learns the ropes, stops needing to be carried the same way.

I've been abroad 11 years, the last 5 of them with my partner, and I always assumed that part would just feel like relief for both people. Lately I'm not so sure. Roles you've held for years don't dissolve quietly, even the good ones.

For those of you who've lived this, when the balance finally evened out, did it feel like relief, or did it take some getting used to on both sides?

I don’t know if I’m looking for reassurance or if I’m just feeling nostalgic, but I wonder if anyone else has felt like this after leaving the UAE.

My partner and I moved back to the UK when we had our first child and found out we had another one on the way. On paper, it was the sensible decision. Our housing in the UAE was only partially funded through work, but we would have had schooling covered for one of our children, and financially we probably would have been in a good position long term.

What really pushed us to leave was our lifestyle. We both worked in pretty toxic environments, waking up at 5am and not getting home until around 5pm most days. Our baby would have spent the majority of the day with a nanny, and it felt like we were missing out on the very thing we’d worked so hard for – being a family. We weren’t really living, we were just working.

Moving back to the UK has given us things we didn’t have before. More family time, more support and the chance to actually be present while our children are growing up. For that, I’m incredibly grateful.

But I still miss so much about the UAE. I miss the lifestyle, the convenience, the weather for most of the year, the feeling that things just worked, and the opportunities that came with living there. Sometimes I find myself wondering whether we gave up something really special. I catch myself thinking, “What if we’d stayed?” Could we have found better jobs? Would the sacrifices have been worth it in the long run?

At the same time, I don’t miss the negatives at all. I don’t miss the toxic workplaces, the long days or the thought of someone else spending more waking hours with my children than I do.

I suppose I’m struggling with the fact that two things can be true at once: leaving was probably the right decision for our family, but I can still grieve the life we left behind and wonder what might have been.

Has anyone else left the UAE after having children and felt torn about their decision? Does the “what if?” feeling ever go away?

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post about my pets and the possibility of relocating to the UK.

After talking it through with my family, friends, and my dog’s trainer. I’ve come up with a plan in the event this is something I decide to pursue in a year or so. My family would care for my small dog, who is already very comfortable with them. My cattle dog’s trainer has offered to foster him, and my coworker who I’ll be living with over the next year would temporarily foster my cat.

This would only be a temporary arrangement while I get settled and figure out my next steps, without putting my pets through the stress of immediate international travel.

I know there were a lot of comments calling me irresponsible, but those assumptions couldn’t be further from the truth. My pets are my family, and I would never make a decision that puts their well-being at risk. Just because I was asking questions and exploring my options doesn’t mean I hadn’t already been thinking about what would be best for them.

I wanted to move to Moscow because of love, you guys think it’s worth? I only speak English and I can work online, can you give me any tips?

Without going too much into detail, I(28m) live in southeast asia. I make a good living as a freelancer in the social media space, clients from China, SG, and USA.

I've lost hope for my country with how corrupt it is, and I generally just don't feel safe in any neighborhood here. I wasn't born here in the first place, so my nationalism isn't that great. Aside from my family, there won't be anything I'll miss if I were to leave from here.

So advice I'm looking for is: Working abroad is one thing, but is there any way I can denounce my citizenship in my country, and be nationalized elsewhere? What are my options?

To narrow it down, I was born in the U.A.E, and being born there doesn't nationalize you. They're quite strict about it.

I'm definitely the adventurous type, and love learning new languages (currently know 4 fluently) so I'd love to know what my options are. Cause as much as I'd love to start a family with my fiance, there's no way in hell I'd want to raise children in this country I'd consider hell.

Hey everyone,

I'm 24m living in the UK currently in a LDR with my girlfriend who’s in San Diego currently studying in med school. We're thinking about getting married and taking the CR1 route (expecting roughly 18 months processing time).

moving is the clear long term direction for us, but I currently have a solid job and good group of friends and close family here in the UK and would be walking away from an established life. To start over, which seems exciting but also scary and a big decision to make. I guess initial things I’m worried about include moving away from close friends and family, finding a job (currently a construction manager) and adjusting to a new work culture. The idea of being able to live with my girlfriend is great and something we both want but also have never spent longer than a month together (at one time) over the last couple years so that’s also new but it doesn’t really seem to be any other ways to do it.

For those who have made the jump was there anything you wish you had known before?
any advice or insights you might have for me would be appreciated.

Hey, all. I just wanted to drop in here with some thoughts about my experiences after moving back home (or, maybe I should say "home.")

I am a 10th-generation rural Southerner from the US. I grew up, well, as you might expect: Church multiple times a week, fishing, conservative mentalities, nationalism masquerading as patriotism, fried everything, and unabashed beliefs that the US is "the greatest" and Southerners are "the nicest." And, yeah, well into my 20s, I genuinely sought comfort in God, voted for Republicans, stuffed my face with fried okra, and had zero interest in seeing the world outside of the mid-South.

That changed during my senior year of college, when I started learning about work holiday visas from some people who knew people who had done them. I applied for one in Singapore, not expecting to be offered a visa. But, lo and behold, I was. I went to Singapore, spent six months, and befriended, dated, and worked with some of the best humans I've ever known. After that, I spent a year in New Zealand (loved) and Australia (meh, fairly cliquish). Yet in both, I met a lot of great people, had a lot of great experiences, saved a lot of money, and took advantage of excellent, cost-effective healthcare. I came back to the South for six months, couldn't find work, and decided to move to the Netherlands for a few years for a cost-effective, English-language program.

Wellllllll... In my infinite wisdom (/s), and despite my newfound love of the NL, I thought I was missing the South (as it turns out, I was just missing family and closest friends). Right after graduation in the Netherlands, I accepted a job offer in Houston. Spent five years there. Then I moved to Louisville briefly, and now I've been in Lexington, KY for three years. In each Houston, Louisville and Lexington, I've struggled to make friends no matter what. I find there to be a lot of general incompetence as far as everyday things - e.g., bosses communicating with employees, having skilled laborers make necessary repairs at my home, ordering fast food, etc. Despite the premise of "Southern hospitality," I find there to be an undercurrent of hostility and passive-aggressive rudeness between many service workers and customers alike. Especially in Lexington, my simply saying "Hello" and "please" with a smile is often met with looks of disgust. Things seem extremely cliquish here. Southern hospitality, amiright (/s)?

I've also come to realize that I'm far from my old self, meaning I now eat somewhat healthier, go to church irregularly, and have no use for the Republican Party (I'm honest about it, but it's also not my whole personality and I'm not even on social media much anymore). I'm also honest about saying that my relationship with the US has become strictly transactional, because it's strictly transactional with us and doesn't give a damn about is. But in so doing, many of my old friends and even some extended family members have distanced themselves from me, which is sad. As for my still-closest friends, I only get to see them 1-2x a year as they're all married with children and I'm, well, very much not.

My goals now? I'm investing like mad and hoping to FIRE in the next 10 or so years. I'll qualify for PSLF (loan forgiveness) in four years. I fully intend to, at some point in the next 10 years, split my time between overseas and the US for the sake of my parents. But any affinity and obsession I once had for my once-beloved region and country is now...gone, and it makes me really sad. Yet I also appreciate that there is a whole wide world I have yet to continue exploring.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, y'all.

I wanted to move to Moscow because of love, you guys think it’s worth? I only speak English and I can work online, can you give me any tips?

Hi everyone,

I'm about to relocate to Saudi Arabia to work as a healthcare professional, and I'd like to hear from people who have gone through a similar recruitment process.

Over the past few months, I found myself becoming involved in many aspects of the recruitment process beyond my own application. I helped search for candidates, participated in interviews, explained the job details to other candidates even though I was an applicant myself, and also assisted with equipment procurement.

During this time, I experienced several situations that left me uncertain. For example:

* Some contract terms changed during the process.

* Some of my questions remained unanswered for long periods.

* I occasionally received different information from different people.

* At times, it was unclear who was responsible for specific parts of the process.

I don't believe anyone acted in bad faith, and I'm not trying to criticize any employer. Throughout the recruitment process, everyone I interacted with was respectful and supportive.

I'm simply trying to understand whether this level of uncertainty is common during recruitment in Saudi Arabia, particularly in private healthcare institutions, or whether my experience was unusual.

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have gone through similar experiences.

Thank you.

Hi everyone.
I’m 27 and I’ve been living in Germany for about 1.5 years. I still don’t speak German well because I’ve been working full-time in construction, and after work I simply didn’t have enough energy to study consistently.
Lately I’ve been questioning whether Germany is actually the country where I want to build my future. I really like the stability here, but I’m also seriously considering moving to Italy because I prefer the climate, lifestyle, food and overall atmosphere.
At the same time, I wonder if I’m just idealizing Italy and making an emotional decision.
Has anyone here moved from Germany to Italy (or seriously considered it)?
Looking back, would you do it again? What were the biggest surprises or disappointments?
I’d really appreciate honest opinions.

We applied for my daughter’s CRBA through the Milan consulate 4 business days ago. The webpage said to wait 5 business days to be contacted with an appointment.

My issue is I have just logged into the portal and it says “Response Required - Schedule Interview”. Does this mean they require a response from us? Because we have heard nothing. Or is this a message for internal reference only? Has anyone else had experience with this sort of thing?

We have imminent travel in 6 weeks so we’re super stressed, any help of advice anyone has would be greatly appreciated. Thank you