Hi, I’m a 21 yr old female with a genetic disorder similar to cerebral palsy. This means I walk with a slight limp.

I’ve recently started online dating and I’m unsure about how to go about telling someone online I’m disabled before we meet up.

We’ve only been chatting briefly but I just want to be open as I don’t want to be with someone who would have an issue with that but am also worried about what to say and how to go about it in the right way?

I’m worried I will get a negative reaction, even though I tell myself I would only want to date people who accept me for who I am. I’m worried a negative reaction will severely damage my self esteem.im just unsure of what to say.

I always have this fear when online dating and it’s why I never rlly use dating apps but meeting someone naturally in person has not rlly worked out for me even though that would be much easier as I wouldn’t have to have these awkward conservations.

Does anybody else ever experience feelings of insecurity when they notice that communication often flows more naturally between two or their non disabled peers?

In my 30s I was in the best shape and physically condition of my life. When I hit 36 I started noticing strange things. My toes would go numb, fingers would tingle, and urination became difficult.
I was checked for prostate issues, bladder issues but there was no problem there.
Few months later I began having extreme weakness in my legs and chronic fatigue. I thought I need to up the gym and calories. So I did more exercise; walked 5 miles a day, 1 hour lifting at the gym, yoga, meal planning etc. Even with all that I was losing muscle, strength, and stamina.
Then it started to feel like my left leg and hip had lost proprioception, and were hard to control. After that a deep pain began in my hip that would go into my back and spine. Then I’d get extreme muscle stiffness in my neck that would give me a migraine and a feeling like a nail was going through my eye socket, I’d usually get nauseous and have to vomit from the pain.
I went to specialist and had an mri with contrast, cat scan, X-rays, bloodwork.
The results were 5 herniated discs, degenerative disc disease, spinal arthritis, and a pinched nerve in my lower back. Also high elevation of stuff that cause inflammation, I forgot the term.
The doctors said none of this explains my symptoms. The only treatment I was given was physical therapy and gabapentin.
The physical therapy seemed to worsen things because I could probably activate parts of my body and all the other muscles over compensate. The medication did not help at all.
I’ve been trying to get a diagnosis for years and nothing is happening. Appointments take 3 to 6 months for an opening!
I was work has much as a could doing simple cashier work the last few years and my body just gave out.
I’m currently on TDI and living with
My mom who has MS. I’m legally her aid and I’m helping her while I’m sick myself. I’m so hopeless right now. I don’t know what’s happening or what to do. I ask the doctors if I might have MS and they act like I’m a hypochondriac.

we have a few hearing sensitive members here so i figured i might let you all know, it was too loud. bring earplugs.

There's lots of bass noise from storms (if you've read the original story, you know there's sailing) and the director cranked up the volume on that to max.

it wasn't the most "hard to hear what they're saying" movie but i've seen some people say that.

Also it's 3 hours with some flashing lights scenes and sad dog scenes if you're emotionally vulnerable to that kind of thing, but nothing that wasn't in the book

Hey!!

I built a small Windows app to solve a problem I ran into myself.

One side of my headphones became quieter than the other, and I was surprised that I couldn't simply adjust the left and right audio channels independently on my PC. So I made a tool that lets you do exactly that.

I later realized it could also be useful for people with hearing differences between their ears or anyone dealing with uneven audio.

I thought I'd share it here in case it helps someone else, and I'd love to hear any feedback or ideas.

Here is the app: Sonity

After getting enough mails on waitlist, I am going to launch it. Would really love to hear what you guys think!

How to come to terms with a fact like that?

Any advice from more experienced are appreciated.

Hihi im new here! I hope I could get a few recommendations; I’m a college student with mild cerebral palsy, and on my end of first semester of college I got so many bad fatigue/ muscular pain of walking so much and I got prescribed a walker to help me with my pain and walking around campus. But people seemed me without my walker since the beginning of school and thought I was “normal” and once I started using it people started realizing I wasn’t okay and needed more help but I started realizing it rumors and a lot of people asking me what happened which I was okay in explaining but random people even came to me saying that I didn’t look disabled and other people in my classes saying I was faking stuff and that just made me feel bad about myself and I felt ashamed of using my walker because of it, because I feel like I wasn’t “disabled enough”to use it, and im just ashamed of it even though I need it I am just scared of being asked if im faking it when im not and needing to explain everything.

The whole comparing disabilities annoys me so much like WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME COMMUNITY 😤 My mother even says there are people out there with way worser ailments than me ok and how is that supposed to make me feel better 🙄😒

I am a orthopedically handicapped person by birth wheelchair bound locomotor disability (31 m) teacher by profession just about to complete my phd i am kind of sad because during my teenage years I never had any girlfriends I studied in a men’s college i had very good circle most of them there girls to 2 or three i had very good bond I asked them can we start dating or rather can I see you as my lover but they rejected out right and got married this was during covid my mother was also searching from 2019 still no luck I wanted to tell more but don’t know how to handle this

I’m just going to talk about these three disabilities because they are mostly seen and over used in horror movies (modern ones as well), and frankly it just rubs me the wrong way.

* Conjoined, twins (I’m not sure why almost every form of media with conjoined twins is mostly horror)

* Extreme facial trauma/other facial disorders

* Albinism (I have albinism and have noticed we are depicted in so much horror, or we are witches, crazy people or supernatural creatures)

I feel like in some forms of media there are characters with these disabilities in who aren’t portrayed in a scary or ugly matter. If anyone has any, please let me know. I’m just surprised modern movies still portray people with these disabilities in scary ways still. I feel like it could be with a lot of disabilities as well, but these are just the ones that I’ve noticed are continuous and very misunderstood in media.

I have radioulnar synostosis in both my arms and im making a list of things I cant do/have a hard time doing just so i can explain just how limiting it feels to not be able to supinate. Whenever people ask about my condition they always ask "so what daily things can't you do" and I always blank. I think making a list of common or even not so common things that most people dont even realize they supinate for would be helpful to me and anyone else with the disability! Also if anyone has good metaphors that they use to explain the disability comment them too! I always say its like having lego hands.

I(35m Canadian) just finished a visit to my partner(we are long distance due to my illness requiring care in a different province) and I decided to get a sunflower lanyard at the train station I was passing through. There was very informative signage up, and it was pretty in-depth, saying it was for hidden disabilities.

So I go up to where I’m supposed to get one. And while the clerks were nice, they assumed it was for “autistic children”, like specifically. I pointed out the hidden disabilities part, but they still talked to me like a child after.

I wore it the rest of the train trip. It neither got noticed or did I really need to have help, even if the aisles of the train made using the forearm crutches hard lol.

On the way home yesterday, I decided to fly, as it was easier on me. Sunflower lanyard was great in the airport itself. I was spoken to like an adult, got help, and was allowed to board early.

On the plane though, a flight attendant went over where she put my crutches and how I’d deplane after people at my destination. But she did this in baby-talk and extremely simple language, and asked if I needed anything, to ask.

The issue is, I did actually get the help I needed. It was useful. My card is in the mail and will help me when I travel again with my specific disability on it, and what I could need help with.

But I’m also being spoken to like a child or as if I have autism or a developmental disability, and while those people absolutely should not be patronized either, I think that’s why I’m having this issue. I do use forearm crutches but it’s hard to explain ME/CFS to able-bodied folks so I thought this could help me out. It is, only it comes with language that seems to make me out as a child, not a 35 year old man lol.

My hunch? The sunflower program was pushed heavily initially by autism parent organizations and autism groups heavily, and while that is not what the sunflower solely means, I have a suspicion they(travel staff)are being trained that way by their company’s.

What has been your experience with the lanyard? Do you encounter this as well? Is the help worth the patronizing language? I’m not so much offended as baffled. And I’m curious about how others are faring using one.

So I am diagnosed with POTS, (h)EDS and FND. I am not able to work or study anymore due to my chronic illnesses, so I rarely get out of my home. I have tried seeking friends in facebook groups and I did find one wonderful friend that I adore. However she cannot fill the loneliness I feel and nor should she.
The thing is that because I am so isolated as I am I do feel really lonely. I feel like I have to hold back with how much I talk about the weight of my illnesses, because I do not want family, friends or my boyfriend to get overwhelmed by it or see me as a burden.
People around me cannot know how it feels to struggle with what I do and this is not meant in the sense that they are not there for me, because they absolutely do their best and I am forever grateful for that. It is just in the sense that I wish i had someone to talk to who understood what it is like, who can joke with me about it and understand how honestly shitty it is.
I am 27 and it is only 3 years ago since I could bathe without a chair, go to parties, study at uni, go for a walk without my mobility aids and in general feel independent.
So with how fast it has gone downhill I wish I had someone to talk to who understands what it is like to grieve your own past self and feel the crippling loneliness…

I finally decided I wanted to tell my mom I need to look into wheelchairs (once approved by my doctor) as my body is unable to keep up. But I flaked out of fear and the inability to bring it up.

How do you guys approach to talking to your Doctor about getting specific diagnoses to qualify for government assistance? My friend has had debilitating chronic pain issues for almost two years now. He's tried everything he can with his primary care doctor but because of his insurance and inability to travelhe isn't able to see any new specialists. He's hesitant to talk to his doctor about getting specific diagnoses because he doesn't want to seem like he doesn't want to get better because he does. I'm just trying to get a feel for how others have approached it.

Any recommendations for getting help to file for disability? I've looked at a couple of options, but I'm not sure about them.

Hi everyone,

Currently, my engineering class is working towards creating systems to make spaces for inclusive.

I'm having trouble coming up with solutions to problems disabled individuals experience in their day-to-day lives.

I was wondering if I could get some insight from actual people living with disabilities.

If you're comfortable, please share any unique problems you may face due to your condition, which does not yet have a solution, so I could potentially work towards a mechanical solution for it.

This does not have to be limited to physical disability but also mental/emotional (e.g. autism, adhd, agoraphobia)🙏

I need to vent. I'm angry and my therapy session is not until Thursday.

8 months ago my ex best friend died. I found out 2 months later. No one even told me. They told my boyfriend at the time. He told me as gossip not even knowing we used to be close.

No one invited me to the funeral. I haven't talked to her in 6 years. We stopped being close in high-school because I could tell she didn't want to be friends with the disabled kid anymore.

She started doing and saying the most outlandishly hurtful things. She was hanging out with people who bullied me. She even missed my sweet 16 when I went through hell to get to hers. Then two months later she goes to her other friend's sweet 16 ( ofc the whole school was invited but me). She sent me a paragraph apologizing , saying that her mom took her phone. So I forgave her partially.

. I tried to fight for us. I even sent paragraphs.

But it didn't work.

So I made new friends. The last time I saw her in person was at our high-school graduation. She wanted to take a picture. I wanted to say no but I took it anyway. Then I just walked away.

But the last thing we texted to each other is I love you, 7 months into college.

On Sunday, I reached out to her mother to inquire about birthday plans. She sent me information to a reservation she planned for a birthday dinner and balloon release.

So I went to my dead ex best friend birthday dinner. Even when there was a possibility of a storm.

When I arrived at 8:30 pm, the restaurant said "that reservation never came."

My ex best friend mother finally texted me back to say they canceled because of the rain.

I'm not going to lie, I was angry because she could've told me that earlier. This was the same piss poor communication that came between me and her daughter.

But I politely said, ok I just wished I knew sooner.

And she said she didn't think I was coming. Which I don't understand because I asked her what she was doing days earlier and she sent me the details.

I feel like people just treat me like a afterthought.

Apparently not caring enough to communicate with me runs in the family.

Its common for people to treat their disabled friend like garbage as if we don't have feelings. It's fucked up to say but I hate that I'm grieving her death. She would not give a damn if I died. She even said something to insinuate that.

My health conditions mean that my symptoms can come on within seconds. I cannot wait in the queue for the women’s or may need the privacy of the accessible toilet.

Yes another disabled person may be using it, 100% fine. But an increased amount of able-bodied people using the accessible toilet means it is more likely to be in use when it is needed for people like me.

I fully understand that it is dangerous for many transgender people to use the toilets associated with their assigned sex at birth, and I understand there isn’t currently another option to them, but the fact it is falling on disabled people to take some of the weight of this issue is not an answer. I empathise with those affected by the ruling and do not agree with the decision that has been made. The government doesn’t care about disabled people either so I am not convinced us kicking up a fuss would get any sort of result. It then worries me they would then take similar measures with disabled toilets.

This post is not, in any way at all, meant to shame anyone from the community. The essence of the following has chased me for a lifetime, and after watching people talk about disability in a documentary about SCI it hit me in words.

This post is for those of you who have a congenital physical disability & use an aid, but also are fully independent - drive, gainfully employed, travel, don’t need hired help to care for your daily needs, are in a relationship status you want to be in…

Do you ever feel like you don’t relate to the wider disabled community, but want to?

It seems that in 98% of posts, shows, discussions, it’s always about how hard everything is for us. Newly disabled people or those with wildly rare and traumatic disabilities have traditionally gotten the most airtime (TLC I’m looking at you). So, for example, AB’s watching or reading get introduced to disabled people via someone comparing being once able bodied to now being para or quad. With all the comments to go with it. Or someone talking about having half a face, and what life is like with that. All important things to talk about, but that’s not my point here.

Where I guess it’s getting me is, there is so much disability variation in the community. I long to connect with people with my variation. I also long to be seen in society as who I really am, instead of being seen as more disabled than I am, based on social media & general media exposure.

I can’t be the only one who considers myself disabled mainly around the fact I need a wheelchair. Where are the people from our community living like this? Maybe they don’t really identify or post online?

I love and value my independence and fearlessness. I’m proud of it. Every heavy door I open, every 2,000 mile road trip I drive, every meal I cook, every kayak trip I take, the respect I get at work for tackling a huge client challenge instead of “overcoming my disability”🙄. And yet at the exact same time I love, respect and value the disabled people who came before me. Who forged paths that allow me to do things like cross the fucking street (curb cuts), or attend concerts in the mosh pit (ADA created a lot of worry about us being discriminated against and I can use this to ensure I’m allowed to forgo ADA seating and instead get on the rail with the rest of them😉). I also realize my more physically disabled pioneers are the reason that one day if things become more difficult for me, I can seek the additional care I need.

I love my community but more often than not, I don’t relate to it.

Adding to this isolation, I seem to again be one of the few that hates strangers asking me if I need help (I have a voice and can ask for it when needed!) or people staring in public. I do not feel we are obliged to educate anyone about our condition while we are going about our business in the world. I think it’s truly acceptable for me to react to such nonsense the way an AB would. I’ve studied how AB’s react when weird public things happen to them and this is how I communicate when all this shit goes down. It works well.
Basically, I just want to live like the normal person I feel I am - because wheelchair access needs aside, I truly do live ‘normally’. The main thing that reminds me I’m in a wheelchair is others... I don’t think I’ve ever heard another crip say this 😢

It seems instead most of the community wants to either post about the opposite stuff, or if I comment anything close to what I’ve written today I’m told “it’s rude” or “that’s nice for you that you live this way” type of reply.

This is why I’m asking: where my peoples at?? Are you out there?? Those who are disabled but whose disability mainly limits walking? Who sees their disability struggle in life being attitudes and imposition from the public? Who long to be seen at their level of disability and not just lumped into a category because it’s most commonly portrayed? …And lastly: who seem to provoke anger from the community because we speak about this reality.

Anyone here has any experience with dynamic seating in a wheelchair?

My partner (40) and I (50) live together and are both disabled. Our physical abilities waver constantly and are mostly autoimmune/inflammation/pain/autonomic dysfunction based. On top of that, my partner also has Audhd which they report is their biggest barrier to doing more around the house (on their lower pain moments).

Their strengths are in computer/bill paying/admin and they need body doubling and assistance for anything else that is more than one or two step instructions.

My strengths (on my good days) are executive function and physical labor.

My problem is my good days are less and less frequent and the chores delineated to me are far too much and exasperating my conditions greatly. Its been a vicious self perpetuating cycle leading to a year of flares and decompensation.

We are in the process of getting a state paid caregiver but it is taking time.

Anyone else in a similar situation? How do you make chores equitable when they cant be "fair"? (Please call out any interalized ableism as this specific issue is a new learning opportunity for me)