r/DeepRockGalactic • u/Bingo_Bango_Bongo_II • 1h ago
Off Topic Management is LYING -- Lootbugs are NOT bugs
Now, I know what you're thinking -- you're thinking, "of COURSE Lootbugs are bugs -- they have the word 'BUG' in their name."
Ok, yeah, fair, ok -- but RIDDLE ME this. When you're on a mission with the Regenerative Bugs warning, have you EVER seen a Lootbug regenerative health? No, you haven't -- and that's WEIRD, right? I mean, IF a Lootbug is in fact a bug, WHY doesn't it regenerate health under these circumstances?
Now, we COULD shrug our shoulders and say, "it's a paradox, just like the barber paradox -- Karl would know." But WHAT IF it's NOT a paradox? What if it's a LIE? What if Lootbugs are NOT bugs? What if Karl WOULDN'T know?
But if Lootbugs aren't bugs, WHY would management classify them as bugs? Perhaps MANAGEMENT is SUS? Perhaps management is trying to HIDE the TRUTH -- but what truth might that be?
Well, I don't know about YOU, but I DON'T like BUGS. Just the word "bug" makes me think "SQUISH IT BEFORE IT BITES ME!" But Lootbugs CAN'T bite, right? They're peaceful and adorable -- and management CERTAINLY knows this. But management ALSO knows that Lootbugs are FULL of precious minerals -- minerals which help us BUY resupplies and equipment UPGRADES. And management ALSO KNOWS that we LOVE cute things -- Steeve, Doretta, POG Plants, Cave Vines, you name it!
THUS, management needed to figure out a way to CONVINCE us to kill Lootbugs DESPITE how cute they are. In a stroke of EVIL genius, management INDOCTRINATED us by including "bug" in the name, which leads us to wrongfully OVERRIDE our love of Lootbugs so we can KILL them without becoming CRIPPLED by the GUILT.
Hey MANAGEMENT -- I know you're reading this. WE SEE THROUGH YOUR MANIPULATIONS. WE KNOW LOOTBUGS ARE NOT BUGS. YOU CAN'T HIDE THE TRUTH FOREVER. #LOOTBUGSARENOTBUGS




