Ah yes, with a toddler/newborn/postpartum wife, you’ve got all the time in the world, my love!

Tagged as “funny” because he’s the kind of guy who will actually do what’s needed, then realize his mistaken planning down the line.

Bless his heart 😂

My son is three months and we just finished setting up his bedroom. He is sleeping in our room but naps here/ plays.

My five favorite items from his room are:
1) Loveevery play gym. He likes to kick the rattle and my toddler loves to do tummy time with her brother.

https://lovevery.com/products/the-play-gym?srsltid=AfmBOoqSZ4z79lM87-6M8xvlN55GeI3soQY1xtxNAm90KGDRekLqh8RO

2) Spaceship light from IKEA. Changes color and it catches his attention specially during tummy time.

https://www.ikea.com/ca/en/p/aftonsparv-led-table-lamp-rocket-multicolor-10555235/

3) Love his mobile. It was a gift but ties in perfect with his room.

4) Space decals from Amazon.

5) reusing the furniture, rocking chair and a lot of toys from my first child.

https://snugglebugz.ca/products/taylor-5-in-1-convertible-crib?variant=51668019085679

https://snugglebugz.ca/products/natart-taylor-double-dresser?variant=51668019183983

I didn’t think I could love him more, but seeing the way he is so excited to be our baby girls dad makes me fall all over again. He’s so excited to be her best friend, I feel so lucky to have him.

Update: Am I wrong to not have my MIL in my home after giving birth to my daughter?

See OG post here.

My husband called me and informed me that he will be working on his days off this week. Thursday and friday. And he will *try* to take a week off for her birth.

I lost it.

I told him that I didn't know what the F he wanted me to say. I told him our marriage is now dying in slow-mo. (Work has always been an issue. Mind you he is salary. So no extra days does not mean more money for baby. I won't get into it but I also helped him at work while I was pregnant when his finger got infected..... and on my birthday). I hung up after that. I would like to say I feel bad about it but I am just done.

Meanwhile, my MIL has decided it would be a great idea to tell me that it "would be nice" if I would not ignore her and give her answer about if she is gunna be at my home after the birth of baby.

This sent me over another edge I didn't even realize was there.

This b*t*h gets done ranting about how she needs space in that 10 min shit talking session and has the nerve to tell me I need to answer her so she can make plans for the weekend????

I called my husband back. Told him what she said and also that she and him can both go f themselves and I will go to my remaining appointments alone and the induction will be included in that. I would much rather be alone than deal with this shit storm of people railroading me left and right.

I have never been so railroaded and hurt besides the day I lost my son.

I guess my husband is horrible and everything will always come first before me or the life I thought we were in agreement to share.

He hasn't reached back out or even attempted to make things right. So I guess I have his answer. Yay me.

Hi everyone. My baby girl was stillborn on May 1st at 40 weeks 6 days. She passed away in the womb a couple days before… She had full trisomy 18, this was our first child and with us being 24 years old conceiving a child with T18 was extremely rare. We’ve been so devastated. I’m 11 1/2 weeks post partum and my period started back up today.

We have decided to try again for another baby but IM TERRIFIED!! I’m so scared Trisomy 18 and loss will happen again. What if i conceive another genetically abnormal baby? I’m scared of everything but at the same time i just want a baby here on earth. I love being my baby girls mom but bringing her a healthy sibling on earth would mean everything to me. How do I get over this fear? Any advice???

I'm not even dealing with the "X food is all I can keep down these days!" issue; I just have no appetite for anything remotely good for me right now. I'm STRUGGLING bad trying to get some nutrients into my body, but forcing myself to eat is hell. Everything is gross, I always feel full, and all I can even think about eating is junk. Every meal is a chore, and I am hating having to eat.

I feel like a toddler. All I want is cookies, and stuff with cheese involved. I literally cried over eating a few meatballs the other day because I just didn't want them. again, I'm not nauseous and I have no excuse, but I just want to kick and scream because "I don't wanna!" I couldn't finish my cottage cheese and fruit because the fruit was too sour and I just wanted it sweeter. Oatmeal too bland. Meat too tiring to eat. This is so stupid lol

I was scheduled for induction this morning at 6am. Went in, waited until 10:30am just for them to tell us that they are too busy and to go home. They’ll call us when they have a room to start my induction. It’s 8pm now and they still haven’t called me back.
For reference I’m a FTM, 39+4 weeks.
I didn’t really want to induce but my OB said it would be best since my baby is measuring on the larger side (90%ile). So I agreed to the induction, planned for it, showed up, just to be sent home and told to wait anyways.
I understand that nothing can really be planned when it comes to pregnancy and birth but I am still frustrated with the situation. Why have me scheduled to induce because “it would be safer if the baby comes out early since they are on the larger side” if they can just send me home to wait? At this point my baby is going to come around or past my due date anyways.
I’m also not a morning person and getting out of bed at 5am just to go sit in triage and stare at the walls for 4 hours only to be sent home really pissed me off.

35W with second girl - they will be almost exactly 3 years apart. We kept everything from first baby - clothes, car seat, crib, etc. Have had a bunch of lovely relatives and friends ask me what we need and I am stumped - would love to get advice on things people think are useful to have for second.

Are there new gadgets or anything people would recommend having two of?

One friend has been raving about the MomCozy bottle dishwasher as a must have/nice upgrade.

Also looking for thoughts on stroller - we have a great single stroller and travel stroller. almost 3YO is already hard to keep contained in stroller - anyone had luck with ridealongs or converting to wagon? Not sure we'll want a double stroller but open to suggestions

Am I wrong to not have my MIL in my home after giving birth to my daughter?

I (33F) have been with my husband (34M) for 12 years.

I am due for an induction July 26th 2026. The original plan was his mom was to be here because a) she wanted to be and b) to help us with just household tasks or questions with the baby.

Well, me and her had a blow up last week on Friday. I won't get into it but the overall theme is Pregnancy Hormones and trying to set boundaries and her being manic. (Diagnosed yes, not me just pulling that out of my butt).

In order for me to feel comfortable with her being here, I wanted to have a sit down conversation like adults. Discuss what happened, why, and how we move forward with no tention. She declined and said only with a family therapist because I don't listen to her.

I tried to explain that getting a family therapist in less than a week was damn near impossible and I didn't want to spend my last few days before going into the hospital researching family therapists and felt like this was something we could work on together. However, if it couldn't be worked on, I didn't feel comfortable with her being here or at the hospital after the birth. Its just too stressful for me.

She flipped out and said I was trying to keep her grandchild away from her. Which is not the case. I just want my experience to be pleasent, especially after already dealing with the death of my son (33wks) and not being able to grieve that loss when it had happened in 2023.

I eventually realized that I had a therapy session scheduled for monday and reached out asking if we could have MIL sit in so we could just move on. I knew, and even spoke to my sister about this, that I wasn't entirely on board because, based on what MIL was bringing up to my husband, she was just going to talk shit and that would be the end of it. I didn't really like the idea.

Well, my therapy appointment happened and as I anticipated, she talked for 10 mins straight (with me muted) about how I am the problem and brought things up that had zero to do with the blow up.

My therapist asked my MIL if she felt heard. She said yes and sounded pretty dang happy. I got the rest of my session with the therapist and explained how we had gotten to where we were since MIL neglected to even bring that up. My therapist said she felt like my MIL was in a loop and experiencing mental health issues and nothing I say would make a difference. Which is why I stayed muted because I was certain it would only make things worse.

My problem is now, after hearing all the b.s. (i should mentioned she compared me to her abusive sister who stole money from here and kept her drugged up in her apartment for years) I don't want to be around her. She got to say what was on her chest and I have to stay silent because she's on a manic high. I.e. only hears negatively from me.

My husband wants her to meet the baby right as she is born. His plan is:

Pick her up the morning of the induction. 40 min round trip.

Let her stay at our house

Bring baby home

Let MIL visit baby for about 10ish mins

Take her home. 40 min round trip (unless traffic)

MIL doesn't drive. So her doing all this is not an option. She could do Uber or Lyft, but shes on a fixed income so my husband would pay for it.

I was starting to be okay with this idea after days of depression and uncontrollably crying until she texted me at midnight saying to have a good day and that she loved me. It just jump started me into anger.

I get that that is weird but we hadnt talked since she bad mouthed me to my therapist. Meanwhile I also found out from my dad that she had been bad mouthing me to him weeks before this had even happened. I thought we were on good terms and it turns out we had never been. But she thinks because she got to say all these nasty things for me to hear that everything is all hunky dory and i'm expected to just take it.

I want my husband to get what he wants but I legitimately do not want to be around her. I've done so much for this woman and fought to help her get out of where she was (health and fincial wise) and I feel like I cannot trust the relationship we have anymore.

So I guess, is this hormones? Do I need to just suck it up? Or is this something valid? I feel stuck because he has literally said he understands that its unfair but thats what he wants. He wants her there. And I am just feeling railroaded once again. Since before the blowup I could feel there was tension and asked for him to take her home and he said no. (Which he now regrets and apologized for but its happened so not much too that IMO other than at least he can see the issue)

I should also note my intention is just to have a week or two with my husband uninterrupted with the baby to have calmness. Not to keep her from the baby. I would even settle for a few days if im being honest.

Let me have it but please be kind. I am not in a good place right now.

Listen, I know gender disappointment is bad or whatever.

6 girls is absolutely insane though. Omg.

If you're in the US, always negotiate your bills both for prenatal care and for the birth/ new baby. You can usually negotiate them down even for the amount after insurance, which is super helpful especially on an HSA plan- the original number still counts against your deductible/ oop max, not the discounted amount.

Do it asap when you get the first bill.

Easiest order of events to negotiate down:

1. Ask for an itemized bill. Contest anything that you disagree with ie length of visit, medicines given, it's very common to be charged for things you never got. If they say you lose an early pay or cash pay discount if you request it, ignore it-- it's just a pressure tactic so you don't actually check the bill.

2. Ask for the terms of financial assistance. There's usually an income threshold specifically for applying with insurance, but it is often fairly high. Even if you don't qualify, apply and include an appeal letter (saying why the discount would help you). You can often get a goodwill discount this way even if you don't technically qualify, but depends on the provider.

3. Ask for a "prompt pay" or "cash pay" discount if you are able to pay in full. This can almost always be stacked with the other discounts you might already have. If they sound like they don't want to stack it, hint that you will need a loooong payment plan or won't be able to pay for a long time otherwise and they will usually do something. Honestly you can usually get this even if you're paying months after receiving the bills, as long as it has not gone to collections.

How I know: just negotiated with 18 freaking providers thanks to kiddo and I both having er visits last month 🙄😂

Ive been talking to my grandma recently and during one of our phone calls she asked about the plan for when the baby is here, I let her know we'd be waiting a few weeks (probably 2-3) before having people in my house for long periods of time, she proceeds to let me know not ask and say that she plans to pick me up everyday, with the baby, to come spend the whole day in her hotel room, because my apartment is "too cramped" for her (like a hotel isnt one room??) She always complains how I live "in a dungeon" and loves to call asking when ill move or tell me how miserable it is in there. (Shes only ever been in my apartment once ever for 2 hours).

Im not crazy for not wanting to drag my newborn out of the house, put her carseat in someone else's car everyday, pack up EVERYTHING i need between the baby and me postpartum just so they can stare at a baby who's gonna sleep 80% of the day, right??? Especially the part where its gonna be a fight that they dont want me to drive and im sure as hell not putting her car seat in someone else's car and reinstalling it everyday for a week, and definitely not LEAVING her carseat in their car overnight in a city they dont drive in much. Honestly me and my partner both dont want to drive her around more than we already have to for appointments, we also dont want to take her and her tiny immune system into a hotel full of traveling sick strangers.

I know my grandma and aunt are excited, they're driving 4 hours to meet her, this is the first baby in the family since my cousin 19 years ago, my baby is her first great-granddaughter and she basically raised me instead of my mom but am i selfish for not wanting to leave all day everyday for them? Am I just having first-time-mom worries/ overreaction?

I’m trying to be considerate but I’m just not sure how far out I need to wait. The grandparents on both sides already know but I wanted to start telling other family members at 12 weeks. I checked my calendar and realized this falls 17 days before my brother’s wedding. I know he would be excited to be an uncle, but I really don’t want to steal his thunder. I know his fiancée has PCOS so I think they are probably anxious about their own fertility.

Another problem is that my family drinks a lot at celebrations. My uncle thinks it’s hilarious to call out when a woman isn’t drinking and he’s put me in an awkward situation the last time I thought I might be pregnant. He immediately noticed I abstained from drinking. I’ll also probably look extremely bloated if my first 8 weeks are any indication. What if people find out I’m pregnant at the wedding? That seems even worse.

I didn’t plan the timing of this pregnancy. My finance and I have been trying for over a year and it happened once we decided to take a break from timing and planning. This is also my first pregnancy. My mom is beyond excited and has asked if she can tell this or that person. I keep telling her to keep it a secret. I’m worried she won’t be able to keep her mouth shut until after the wedding and I’ll be really sad if I’m not the one to announce it. I hope she will respect my wishes there.

Is two weeks enough time for everyone to get the excitement out of there system and focus back on the happy couple?

I’m sure this is a feeling many women have, expectation vs reality. I’m having a pretty smooth pregnancy mainly, however in my head I had this expectations, relax, get excited about baby names and doing the nursery. But instead I’m quickly trying to pass my theory test and driving license (in the Netherlands, send prayers ) we doing a whole attic and garden renovation, my work place is in completely chaos and I have to work loads extra. I just don’t have time currently to get excited.. my MIL meanwhile is sending me all the baby things she’s buying (I’m 15 weeks?!). I’m happy, and grateful that despite all that’s going on I feel pretty ok.. I just don’t feel actually pregnant (or how in my mind I imagined it to be) oh and and hate nearly all foods right no cravings for unhealthy foods and a complete aversion to anything green, and my iron levels are at a 7. Thank you for listening (reading) to my rant

I've been in prodromal labor since 37 weeks (currently 39+6). Usually it would start at night and I would get some timeable, period like contractions that were painful enough to make me wince. It would always fizzle out by morning.

However, this has shifted to 48 hours straight of PAINFUL contractions. They are erratic and come every 10 min, 4 min, 15 min, 6 min etc. Got checked and I am only 1.5cm dilated after days of this. The contractions are painful enough to make me stop talking, walking, and start vocalizing. I have only had 5 hours of broken sleep the last 2 nights, waking up to contractions all night long. Starting to get bloody show, but contractions aren't becoming more regular.

I am exhausted, disheartened, and in pain. I am so scared it won't switch to active labor and I will be pregnant for another week or two.

Edit: lost mucus plug and bloody show at the 51 hour mark

i’m 9w5d FTM. is it normal to have boyfriend aversions? 🤣 i literally cannot stand him 70% of the time. i’m usually so lovey and can’t keep my hands off him but since becoming pregnant i just want him to get away from me lmao

I am 37 weeks along with my second baby. At my growth scan a few days ago, they were estimating baby at 8 lbs 9 oz. Doc presented options of scheduled C-section, induction at 38 weeks, or induction at 39 weeks. Doc’s main concern is that my first baby (9 lbs 2 oz) required forceps at the end of a long induction at 40+5, and that for a larger baby it’s more likely that forceps could fail and we could end up in a C-section after a long induction and labor. I have the same doctor delivering this baby as delivered baby #1.

That being said, baby was at +3 by the time the forceps were used, and I delivered baby without incident with one more push. My understanding is that the forceps were used because of my own exhaustion (I had been pushing for about 4 hours) rather than poor positioning. I did have significant tearing (3rd degree) but it healed fine.

Since this is my second baby, my hope would be that the second stage of labor would be much quicker, and it should be easier to deliver a big baby.

My preference based on the research I’ve reviewed would be induction at 39 weeks, but I could use some crowd-sourced wisdom. I’m nervous about opting into an unnecessary C section, but open to it if that’s what’s best for baby (and me).

Anyone out there with LGA babies? How did you make this decision?

I’m hoping to hear from anyone who has been through something similar, as we’re currently facing a very difficult and uncertain situation.

At our routine 18-week anatomy scan, our baby was found to have short femurs (around the 2nd–5th percentile). In addition, the placenta has been described as thick, and Doppler blood flow measurements suggest reduced blood flow. Because of this, the doctors now suspect placental insufficiency.

I have since been started on** **aspirin daily to help improve placental blood flow.

We have been followed closely by a maternal-fetal medicine (MFM) team and have also seen a clinical geneticist. Our NIPT came back normal, and the initial genetic testing from the amniocentesis has also been normal. We’re still waiting for the remaining test results. The geneticist couldn’t give us any definite answers yet but said they also suspect the placenta may be the underlying cause.

This has been an incredibly difficult and frightening experience, and the uncertainty has been the hardest part.

Has anyone here been through something similar? How did your pregnancy progress? When did you deliver, and how is your baby doing now?

Any experiences or advice would mean a lot to us. ❤️

I dont want my husband’s family to see our newborn until she’s a month old. its been 11 days since I gave birth and they are asking when they can see her. My husband’s brother was just sick (went to a rave and is having fever) so I told him to tell them they cannot visit until everyone is not sick as they all live in one house. but the parents are insisting and wants to see the baby. I started having fever too and my husband told his family about it and they never seemed to care and just asked if when they can see the baby. So now I am more disappointed and dont want to show the baby until more than one month. My husband’s family didnt even give us a gift during the baby shower nor tried to put in an effort to help me heal when I was laboring for 26 hrs or even after it. They live less than 3 miles away from us. and my parents are in another country so I really dont have anyone to help me other than my Husband. The great thing is my husband is supportive of me, he’s all I truly need. But I feel bad when he asks when can his family come, and inside me wants to tell him “when they care about me not just the baby.” Any advice would help

I’m leaning towards a scheduled c section for my second baby (my first I labored, pushed and ended up with an emergency c section).

I know there’s a lot of birth prep for VBAC / TOLAC / vaginal delivery but I was wondering if there was any birth prep for a scheduled c section?

Hi everyone,
I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and I’ve been very sensitive to smells right from the start. It’s better now, but I still don’t like kissing my husband. I’ve felt much less attracted to him since becoming pregnant—perhaps because of my sense of smell? It will go away, right? I used to love being intimate with him, and I’m afraid things will never be the way they were because I’ve associated that unpleasant smell with him.

So my husband (28M) and I (27F) are planning on having a baby soon (conceive in less than a year, fingers crossed) and we’re trying to relocate before that happens.
For context, I’m not American and have no family in the US, where we currently reside, so that is not to take into account.

We have 2 cities in mind
1. This is where he was born and raised so a lot of his close and extended family lives there. It’s however not a city where we’d find jobs very easily in our lines of work (Tech sales and marketing) so we would HAVE to be remote and it’s not always best for career opportunities.

1. One of the best cities in the country for Tech but we don’t know anyone there and have 0 family member even close to it. It would definitely be the better choice career opportunity wise though. This is also a cooler city that has a lot of internationals.

Is having family around with a baby truly important or would it be ok to prioritize our careers?

Ps: I’m not naming the cities because I don’t want the North/South debates, this isn’t what this is about, thanks for your understanding 🤗