Somewhat of a success story and question.

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD a couple months ago at 19 years old. The diagnosis made me reflect on my past, and now I can't stop thinking about how things may have been different if I had been diagnosed earlier.

About a year ago, my girlfriend of 18 months ended things with me before our first year at university started. While she wasn't perfect either, I was an overthinker to the max, had no ambition and spent most of my time chasing dopamine (doomscrolling, etc.) so I understand why things didn't work out.

Once university started, I made some friends and started to have a more positive outlook on life, as I had spent so much time and effort trying to get into the program. As the first semester went by, my grades were ok, but I was behind most of my peers. I chalked it up to just needing to adjust to the university level of difficulty, so I didn't think to hard about it. Once second semester started, a lot started to change.

By the end of my second semester I had been my heaviest weight at almost 190 pounds and my grades were in the dump. I also developed a slight dependency on alcohol, as I would drink 2-3 times a week and wouldn't go to a party unless I could drink. I remember the moment I realized I was at my lowest, I was in bed and everything just hit me all at once because I realized I wasn't even close to where I wanted to be.

After that, I got tested and diagnosed with ADHD. Ended up failing a class. Once I started on my meds, everything changed. I stopped impulsively eating and began prioritizing my health. I started summer school to retake the course I failed. Fast forward a few months to today, I'm sitting at a 97 in the class I'm retaking, which is an all time high, and I dropped down to 150 lbs after dieting and I'm lean for the first time. While I'm super happy my progress, its all made me wonder:

How would things be today had I been diagnosed sooner? How do you manage thoughts like these?

I madeade a post a couple weeks ago about how Vyvanse changed my life. It has helped me with my procrastination/time blindness and task initiation which has been my most crippling ADHD symptom. I've flunked out of my first uni when I was younger and because of this. This past month in my summer classes my procrastination and time blindness have been coming back. Idunno what it is but when my professor tells us "test in a week" i always feel like I have a ton of time but i never seem to get myself to get started until 2 days before. It took a while to learn how to get started two days before the test there was a time in my life where I don't even start until 30 mins before the test.

I'm not sure how to counteract this because I don't believe any medication can help me fully. My doctor is open to having me try Concerta for a month but i just have a feeling looking for the right medication isn't the right approach, especially when stimulants all have a short lived honeymoon phase.

A little backstory when I was younger I had really aggressive abusive Asian parents that told me whatever I did was not good enough and if I brought anything back home that's less than an A there would be huge consequences. It worked until high school and I started flunking classes.

I think my ADHD symptoms might've shown up during HS but I didn't know. For years i kept treating my procrastination as a trauma symptom with no avail, trying different techniques. Some did work but didn't stick. When I started treating it as a ADHD symptom I got some progress but now it's back to square one.

Please help, I'm only one year away from graduating with Applied math with a minor in physics im so close, any pointers will be appreciated!

Tldr : had abusive parents, developed perfectionism procrastination paralysis, ADHD also showed out, flunked out of college first time, went back again got treated for adhd and staying afloat but symptoms coming back, so close to the finish line please help

I used to think I was just lazy when it came to doing boring tasks. The ones that weren't urgent, weren't interesting, didn't have a deadline. They would just sit there. I'd look at them and know I needed to do them but still do absolutely nothing.

It took me a long time to understand that this wasn't a character flaw. It's actually one of the most well documented aspects of how the ADHD brain works.

Here's what's actually happening:

The ADHD brain runs on dopamine differently to neurotypical brains. For most people dopamine gets released in anticipation of a reward, it's what motivates them to do things even when those things are boring or unpleasant. The dopamine signal comes first; the action follows.

For ADHD brains that anticipatory dopamine signal is unreliable. It doesn't fire just because something is important or necessary. It fires for things that are interesting, novel, urgent or personally meaningful. Everything else feels like trying to push a car with no engine.

This is why an ADHD person can hyperfocus for six hours on something they find fascinating but cannot make themselves do a ten-minute admin task for three days.

It's not about the difficulty of the task. It's about whether the brain is getting the neurochemical signal it needs to initiate.

The things that actually helped me:

Making boring tasks artificially interesting - listening to something I love while doing them, racing myself against a timer, doing them in a different location than usual.

Body doubling - having another person present even silently makes a significant difference. The social element activates a different motivation circuit.

Attaching the boring task to something the brain does want - I only listen to my favourite podcast while doing admin. The podcast becomes the reward the brain is working toward.

Breaking it down until the first action is almost embarrassingly small. So, instead of just 'do the tax', it's - open the folder. Not clean the bathroom - pick up one thing off the floor.

None of these fix the underlying dopamine difference. But they work with it instead of against it.

What boring tasks do you find hardest to start? And has anything actually helped?

I just came across that subreddit and a lot of things he said now finally makes sense. When I wanted to break up with him, he started throwing random terms at the wall like, "parent child dynamic", "ultimate stubborn combo", "can't take care own health"

I think I became someone I was genuinely not proud of in that toxic relationship but whatever he threw was way off the target and I was so confused. Its even funnier because he got mad at me when I was trying to care for him when he was sick and was upset I didn't pay attention to him when my grandma died.

After reading the subreddit I see those terms used there and it finally clicked. I guess I'm happy that I'm now able to make sense of what he said. He just made up some person based on the subreddit and got mad at whoever that was.

But anyways, it's not a good subreddit, people use it to blame ADHD for whatever abusive/toxic dynamic they're part of and it catches some with a regular ADHD partner, building resentment for this... Imaginary person they made up.

Can anyone tell me how to control my emotions when I’m learning a new song on guitar, I wanna be in a band so bad one day but I have to learn songs and scales for years to be able to make my own solos and have my own band, please anyone that sees this please reply because I love guitar so much but learning songs and practicing feels like I have 200pound weighs on me everywhere.

When I was in 1st grade I remember forgetting notes to class everyday. and My mother was not much involved in my studies because of her limitations in education and I constantly get distracted in class. Because of this I had no idea what's going on in class . How many subjects, how many notes, who is the teacher of each subject and nothing I was aware. I just take one turn towards the window and get lost in view, cows, birds , trees, warm wind, butterflies and so on. And in a snap class is over, no idea what happened in the class I went deep into the imagination of story building in my mind with the scene i am seeing through window. Any body experienced?

I miss shit.
They tell me
it's attention deficit.
I just think
I miss shit.
It's like there's
a part of my brain
that arrives late
for nearly everything:
"Oh, *that* was joy."
Great!
Missed that moment.
When I
fail to remember
someone's name
I hesitate
and extricate
myself
by just saying "Hi"
and try
to obviate
the obvious.
I wouldn’t say
there's something to blame
or even that I'm oblivious
I just miss shit.

This post primarily has to deal with me trying (and failing) to be prescribed Vyvanse which I had taken in the past, but I have had similar experiences when I have had surgeries been to the ER etc.

So, I was prescribed Vyvanse all thru high-school and my early 20s and it was the ONLY medication that touched my ADHD symptoms with only minor and manageable side effects out of everything I had previously tried. I stopped taking it and my other medications at some point, and then got into methamphetamine.

A whole decade has passed since I last used, and because I have a medically documented history of substance abuse, they will not prescribe me the medication that I know has worked for treating my ADD in the past. Instead, they want to prescribe me medications that have worse side effects, could interact with medications I am already taking, and will require me to change my diet entirely.

So basically, they are putting me at risk because the treatment that already has worked for me with zero harm might be too pleasurable? Dumb. If I was drug seeking, I would have merely sought drugs in the last 10 years. Has anyone dealt with anything like this?

I was diagnosed last year in October by a school psychologist, but to be officially diagnosed it has to be by another specialist. I was diagnosed with Adhd-Pi, which I'm started to question if I really have it. We're working on getting the insurance for this, which is taking a while but I've discovered a couple things while questioning this like Cognitive disengagement syndrome. I've done a bit of research and tried to figure out and I did relate to both ADHD and CDS. But if I don't get diagnosed with it then I'm just going to have to continue living normally but with a change of habits. I want to get diagnosed but I'm hearing not even medication is proof of true ADHD.

I have now gone 14 days no alcohol and no processed sugar - candy, cookies, ice cream - etc.

Dam hard to get this habit rolling ! I decided that even though I love red wine and impulsive sugar monster that I felt much better - much much better without it.

These 2 areas have the largest effect on my day to day ADHD

Anyone else have a similar experience?

hey everyone
hum so for context my life is pretty bad rn (end of a 3y realationaho, Engeneeing is stressing me tf out causing me to be depressed, situation w my parents is horrible, and i can’t sleep cuz of anxiety)

i take meds for my adhd, and i often take too much
(well next to that i don’t take it all the time cause i run out but tous is the ONLY way i can endure my life rn,

i hate EVERYTHING, without it except tiktok,
i love movies but they feel like a chore
sam for video games
same for all the things i love and i’m good at
maths, IT, design, shi E VERY THING
is painful without meds

exception for tiktok, eating, and MAYBE talking to ppl

dude i’m with the baddest bih and when i say baddest it’s not bc i’m in love, she’s like model bad

and even s/x doesn’t “UN” bored me

so yea i take a lot, not at one time.
but every 5 hours i take 50 mg
and for 5 days a months

i don’t despise my life

but, probably cause of my little issues i’ve lately had hallucinations - but then came paranoia and i won’t paint u the picture but yea rn there’s “my dad” staring at me, from the corner of my room
it’s dark so easy to believe and not “impossible” for my parents to pull a move like that

so what do i doooo guys pls help meeee
love y’all btw we twins fr
and sorry for my english i’m french

Is it normal not to feel much at 10mg ?

Hi, I was placed on 10mg and I barely feel it. I'm 6.1 , 220lbs. Is that normal not to feel much with that dose?

I just don't want to look like an addict asking to increase dose after 2 weeks of taking that medication.

Thank you in advance

Hi everyone,

I’ve been thinking about how ADHD is represented online, especially through short phrases, jokes, and relatable content.

A lot of it feels repetitive or oversimplified, so I wanted to ask people who actually experience ADHD:

What ADHD-related phrases, inside jokes, or everyday situations feel genuinely relatable to you?

Thanks to anyone willing to share

I have been through this twice, and the biggest lesson I learned was that not all ADHD evaluations are equal.

First time, I did't know what to ask for. I used a quick telehealth service, got a short report with the diagnosis and a prescription, and assumed that was all I'd need. When I submitted for university, accommodations, it was rejected because it didn't include any real testing data or explanation of how ADHD affected me.

Second time, I went to a specialist. It was a much longer evaluation with a licensed psychologist, and the report include test scores, clinical reasoning, and a section explaining how my ADHD affected my day to day functioning. That one was accepted without any issue.

If you are getting evaluated because you need documentation for work, school, or other formal accommodations, it's worth asking a few questions before you book. Who writes the report? Does it include testing and clinical reasoning? Does it explain functional impact? And will it meet the documentation requirements for accommodations?

Those questions can save you from having to pay for a second evaluation later.

I do this all the time. Will go to bed and forgot to bring several necessary items with me or forgot to do certain tasks beforehand; will go to leave the house my keys, will leave for the pool without a towel, etc. it annoys me to no end

I’ve been on Vyvanse for about four months, so at this point it has stabilized in my brain. I no longer get those initial highs when I take my meds, just a subtle sense of clarity and quietness in my head that helps me focus and manage my emotions better.

The more normal I feel, however, the more I interrogate myself with questions like “do I even have ADHD or am I just lying to myself?” and “what if I don’t even need these meds and I was just a lazy person??”.

I have to remind myself of what life was like before being diagnosed and receiving help. I was miserable, depressed, couldn’t do any of my school work, the RSD was HORRIBLE especially within my platonic and romantic relationships. Anyone who knew me back then would confirm that there was obviously something wrong with my brain at the time. Since beginning medication, my family has told me that they haven’t seen me this happy and stable in years, yet I still gaslight myself into thinking I might not actually have ADHD.

Wondering if other people experience similar things?

I’m 21 and really struggling to understand how my brain works during conflict. Whenever issues come up, I feel confused and blindsided. I struggle to articulate my feelings, and no matter what I say, I end up feeling like I'm in the wrong or failing to make sense to others.

I try so hard to make others happy because happiness was hard to come by growing up. But whenever I try to do things for myself, it feels like it causes issues, and I lose the battle altogether. I'm just tired of hurting people and feeling lost.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you start understanding your own brain and communicating better without constantly feeling overwhelmed?

I’ve been in a constant battle with myself over taking my ADHD medication.
Part of me doesn’t want to take it because I want to be my authentic self. It feels like the world isn’t built for our minds, and sometimes taking medication feels like I’m forcing myself to fit into a system that wasn’t designed for people like me.

I’ve had over 15 jobs in the last 3 years, so I know my ADHD has had a real impact on my life.
At the same time, I can’t ignore what happens when I *do* take my meds.

Life becomes manageable. I can be present as a dad. I stay on top of my bills. I communicate better. The impulsive spending stops. The random “side quests” and adventures that completely derail my life happen far less.
Objectively, life is better.

But mentally, I get this constant thought:
*“This isn’t really you.*

*This is the medicated version of you. You’re becoming what society wants you to be.*

I’m quite spiritual and spend a lot of time meditating, doing shadow work, and trying to understand myself. My doctor and therapist both think these thoughts are linked to imposter syndrome, and they keep encouraging me to stay consistent with my medication because they can see how much better my life functions.

The confusing part is… they’re not wrong!!!

When I’m medicated, my brain becomes incredibly task-oriented. It’s like, “Do this, then this, then this.” Everything becomes a puzzle to solve. I’m productive, organised, and focused.

But eventually I burn out.

I can become so focused on responsibilities that I internalise things instead of speaking up. Sometimes I feel like I become a people pleaser, or at least that’s how it feels to me.

When I’m not medicated, I feel more outspoken. If something doesn’t sit right with me, I’ll say it. I feel more connected to what I’m feeling in the moment.

The downside is that’s also when the impulsive habits return. The unhealthy patterns creep back in. My life becomes harder to manage, even if I feel more like “myself.”

Sometimes I wonder if part of this feeling is because of the dopamine changes from the medication. Maybe my brain interprets that focused, goal-driven version of me as being less authentic, even though it’s actually helping me function.

So I’m stuck between two versions of myself.
One version feels authentic but struggles to function.
The other functions well but sometimes feels like I’m wearing someone else’s skin.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Did you eventually find a balance?

Did the feeling of “I’m not really me on meds” fade over time, or did you find a different way of looking at it?

I always spend at least 5-7 hours when I go to the bathroom due to constantly being distracted and getting lost in my mind, I’ve tried keeping a digital clock on the wall and having constant noise while I’m in there but it just doesn’t work. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and started eating only every few days which I’ve been doing for about 3 weeks now, I genuinely have no idea how to fix this since medication and therapy aren’t an option right now for personal reasons, what else can I do?

Sorry for bad grammer.

Edit: I cannot see any sort of therapist

I wanted to share this tip that changed my perspective on how I deal with executive dysfunction as now i switched that mindset from work to kind of a video game.

the thing is that i have tried a lot of tips and books but the majority of them are directed to people without ADHD, but i got some value in some of them and created this system for myself and is having a view of life as it was a video game, but is only possible once your work in finding clear goals and objectives you want in life.

So for example I used to struggle a lot with self-esteem and combined with executive dysfunction made me impossible to make me want to do some self care and even with hygiene oftentimes, so I started to mark a goal on my appearance, i had a clear image on how i wanted to look and even looked for some models who looked more like me and tried to look at them. So with all that is when you can start seeing those “tasks” to maintain your appearance more as if those were video game missions and you have to beat them to unlock the character you want, this can also be done with any other area of your life like work, i have applied it hehe.

but yeah just wanted to share that self-discovery

I'm 30 and a half, and my head's been spinning for years. I need some kind of viable, feedback-driven community — my neural receptors are fried, man. Hours of scrolling, endless planning, a streak of about 1729 failures. I've lost the plot. Who do you even go to? Tools like Claudee help me brainstorm, but they've got their own version of ADHD too — they hallucinate pretty funnily. So I'm giving this a shot instead. If you read this, make me feel heard. I don't really have anyone IRL for this.

I used to think I wasn't good enough at anything. Last December, when I turned 30, I finally acknowledged I have ADHD. Financial dependence has kept me from seeking real help — so I still haven't. I switched jobs, showed promise, real dedication, and still something never clicked. I've been a looper. Eventually I understood my brain is just wired differently, and that gave me some control back.

I started teaching 4 months ago. I actually enjoy it. But being a perfectionist keeps killing my urge to go for the kill. I want to give my students a miraculous way to study, train them like athletes — I promised them everything. And now those promises have become expectations, obligations — the exact thing that short-circuits my fluid, twisted mind. So I feel like a loser again. I know I've got a Dead Poets Society, Robin-Williams-level teacher in me somewhere. But who accounts for his state, for mine?

Here's the good news, after 30 years: it's not a skill issue. I can upscale things — financially I'd be sorted, I just need 15 working days straight. Those 15 days never seem to come. That's the poetic summary of my life, honestly. No goal ever feels goal-enough to push me toward anything material. Whose expectations am I even chasing — parents', my own? Lol. The devil in me is just too big, I guess.

I've always had it in me. But dayum — what's the point, says my ever-rationalizing philosophical brain. Yet I know I'll never be happy living like this. Shame and guilt have always been my loudest emotions. What am I supposed to do, man?

Hey all,

I’ve been diagnosed as adhd since 11th grade, which was in 1995. Suffice it to say that I’ve been diagnosed for a long time. Today I was reading someone’s post about being finally diagnosed and taking meds and how their brain was finally quiet and they’re doing tasks without any side quests. And I’m wondering, because I don’t believe I’ve ever had that experience.

I’ve tried a couple different meds and the thing I struggle with is them making me too “speedy.”

I haven’t had a proper psychiatrist for about a year, but I have a bottle of adhd meds still that are still good. So, two days ago I took one (mind you I used to take these daily) and while it didn’t fully help with my focus, I did find myself AWAKE until 7am, despite taking a sleep med that usually knocks me out by 2am.

I’m fairly certain I am very much adhd, but I’m wondering why the meds haven’t worked for me the way they do for others. Has anyone else had that same confusion? Is the “quiet” thing normal for adhd people to experience? If so, I wonder why I never have experienced that.

Thanks!

Creating a thinking room to know myself better, understanding my patterns and flaws plus cherishing my being. To be not bought by the narratives on Social Media. Enjoying life, being euphoric all the time, rather than chasing hits of emotional highs, not giving in that pursuit.
Also not to be in the pursuit of a perfectionist, managing ADHD with care, and being gentle, understanding, its not about completing whole Mark Masons work, just about effortlessly consuming his or Osho's work doesnt mean doing all 60 episodes of Ashtavakr Mahageeta, understanding its not about finishing books from A to Z, 80 or 90 books, understanding deeply that its fine to not being able to quit smoking or start gyming like a gym freak. Live, how children do. One step at a time, and the step neednt be stressful, you can be casual about it, read a chapter or maybe half of it, understanding it wouldnt count as an arrear or unfinished something that you need to reattend and finish it, life isnt one of our bosses afterall.
Understanding, backward law exists, which says the negetive experiences, could be a little daily setback, understanding you only learn from these. I think thats the key.
Also undertanding you neednt consume youtube at 1.75X, rather watch meaningful content at 1X, pause, reflect and devour.