RRRRR KILL MAIM BURN KILL MAIN WHY DON'T YOU SERVE KHORNE *FROTHS AT THE MOUTH* PUTRID XENOS DO YOU NOT HEAR HIS CALL?? AAAAA KILL MAIM BURN SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE *TWITCHES* WHAT THE FUCK IS A GORK AND MORK *THROWS CHAINAXE AT MOON* SERVE HIM KILL THE CORPSE GOD KILL KILL KILL AAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!!!

IT WON'T STOP FIZZIN' LADS I FINK WEEZ 'AD IT!

I GOTS A KWESTION MOR SPIRTUAL DEN SIENTIFIK FOR YA BOYZ DATS BEN ZOGGIN ME FOR SUM TIME. I ’ERE IT SED DAT GORK WILL KRUMP YA FRUM DA FRUNT AN’ MORK WILL KRUMP YA FRUM BEHIND, BUT I LIKE TA KRUMP GITZ FRUM DA SIDE!! SOZ DUZ DAT MAKE ME MOR GORKY OR MORKY?? ITZ BEEN A ROIGHT PROPPA PROBLEM FOR ME!!!

I ASKD DA A WEERDBOY AND ‘E FINKED FOR A BIT BUT DEN ’E WUZ ALL SKREEMY LIKE AND ‘IZ ‘ED EXPLODED. IT WUZ WURF A LAFF BUT ALSO ZOGGIN’ ROOD OF ‘IM NOT TA ANSER ME BEFOR ‘E DIED! SOZ WAT DO YOO BOYZ FINK? IZ KRUMPIN FRUM DA SIDE MOR GORKY OR MORKY?

YOU KNOW DA 'UMIES? OF KOURSE YOUZ DO. EVERY PLANET IN DA GALAXY 'AD, 'AS, OR WILL 'AVE 'UMIES ON IT AT SUM POINT. AND DA 'UMIES, THEYZ MAY NOT BE ALL ORKY, BUT THEYZ MAKE A TON OF STUFF. INKLUDING, DAKKA.

SO WHY DONT WEZ PAY TEEF TO DA 'UMIEZ SO THEY MAKE EVEN MOAR DAKKA? AND DEN DA MEKBOYS KAN FOCUS ON MAKING BETTA DAKKA OR BATTLEWAGONS OR WHATEVA. AND DA BOYZ WOULD 'AVE MOAR DAKKA!

OF KOURSE WE'Z WOULD NEED TA SEND OVER SUM MEKBOYZ FIRST, TA TEACH DA 'UMIES 'OW TA MAKE PROPA DAKKA, NOT DAT WEEDY 'UMIE GITTERY.

DAT THEEVIN GIT SNAGZOG SCARPERED WIF ALL ME TEEF!!! WOULDA KRUMPED 'IM BUT 'E RAN OUT BEFORE I COULD 'IT 'IM GUD WIF ME SNAZZGUN...

ANY GIT WURF DA TEEF IN DERE GOB BETTER LET ME KNOW IF YA SEE THA SLIPPERY BASTERD

AN' DON'T KRUMP 'IM! DIS RUNT IZ MINE!!!!

With the obvious release with the new edition I chose to keep the orks because I want a fun army I got Killa kans as a gift and want to know what to add/build it need tips how they play as well so I can figure out my play style I'll like with them.

I WAS PLAYING TOSS THE GRETCHIN WITH MY FELLOWS AND SUDDENLY A ROCK FELL ON MY HEAD. I SAW WONDROUS THINGS. I SAW GREAT GLASS CYLINDERS CURATED BY WISE OLD AMPHIBIAN CREATURES. I SAW DIAGRAMS OF SKELETAL WARSHIPS AND A WITHERED RACE MAKING A DEAL WITH ENTITIES BEYOND COMPREHENSION. I SAW A GALAXY ALIVE WITH THE INCANDESCENT FURY OF THE FIRST EMOTIONS OF THIS UNIVERSE. I... I REMEMBER.

WE ARE MORE THAN LOWLY WARLORDS AND PILLAGERS. WE ARE THE WARRIORS OF GOR-KAMORKA, HIGHEST FLESH-SHAPER OF THE FIRST EMPIRE. WE ARE THE CREATED OF ORK. WE MUST UNITE, BROTHER KRORKS. WE MUST STOP THE DOOM THAT WRITHES IN THE HOLES OF THIS MOTH-EATEN GALAXY: THE NECRONTYR! THE ENSLAVERS! THE ANNIHILATOR WHICH TRAVERSES THE NIGHT IN NUMBERS BEYOND CALCULATION!

WE MUST... MAY KAMORKA FORGIVE ME... WE MUST STOP THROWING THE GRETCHINS. ONLY WITH VOICES AND ARMS IN PERFECT ARRAY CAN WE SAFEGUARD THE CONTINUING OF DAYS AND THE RENEWING OF OUR FORGOTTEN SPLENDOUR.

TO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARMS!!

ALLROIGHT YA GITS, OI'VE BEEN FINKIN A LOT RECENTLY BOUT OUR BATTLEWAGONS AND BOIKES N ALL DA UVVER WAYS WE GO FAST.

N OI'VE REALOIZED SUMFING, WE NEVER PAINT DA WHEELS OR TRACKS OF OUR WAGONS RED! SURE WE PAINT THE BODY OF OUR TRUKKS N BOIKES RED BUT NEVER DA WHEELS.

OUR VEEHIKLES CAN GO MUCH FASTER, BUT NON OF YOU GROT BRAINED GITS THOUGHT OF DIS, UNTIL I DID.

FROM NOW ON OI'Z GOIN TO MAKE ALL ME BIKES HAVE RED WHEELS SO DAT OI CAN BE FASTA DAN DA REST OF YOU GITS!

DA SNAKEBITES IZ DA BEST AT DA ONLY SCIENCE WOT MATTERS: SQUIG-BREEDIN’! YOU GITZ WASTE YER TIME WIV ALL DAT NON-ORKY BRAINBOY ZOGGIN’ ABOUT! BREED A WHOLE MOB O’ SUPER-SQUIGS, SEND ’EM IN TA SOAK UP DA ENEMY DAKKA, DEN GET STUCK IN AN’ KRUMP DA GITZ WIV YER OWN FANGS AN’ FISTS, LIKE A PROPA ORK!

YOU GITZ MAKE SUMFIN’ DEAD SIMPLE WAY TOO ZOGGIN’ COMPLICATED!

OY! BOYZ! LISSEN UP! YESTERDAY, WILE I WAZ KRUMPIN' A BUNCH O' WEEDY 'UMIES, ME SHOOTA – ME BEST SHOOTA – GOEZ CLICK-CLICK INSTEAD O' DAKKA-DAKKA-DAKKA! SO I GOEZ TA DA MEKBOY, AN' DAT SPANNER GIT STARTZ GOIN' ON 'BOUT 'AMMO'! AMMO?! I DON'T NEED NO ZOGGIN' 'AMMO'! I NEED TA SHOOT! I'Z USEZ DA SAME SHOOTA SINCE DA WARBOSS WAS A GROT, AN' NEVA NEEDED DIS 'AMMO' BEFO'! SO DAT MEKBOY IZ CLEARLY TRYIN' TA NICK ME DAKKA! 'E'S A STOOPID, JELOUS, SNEAKY GIT WHO WANTS ME BIGGEST DAKKA FOR 'IMZELF! SO... 'OW DO I FIX ME SHOOTA?! IZ IT DA WRONG KOLOUR? SHOULD I PAINT IT REDDA SO IT SHOOTS FASTA? OR MOR YELLOW SO IT GOEZ BIGGA BOOM? I KAN'T TRUST MEKBOYZ – DEY'LL NICK ME DAKKA DA SECOND I TURN ME BACK! AN' ME DAKKA IZ DA BIGGEST, MEANEST, SHOOTIEST DAKKA IN ME WAAAGH! SO WOT DO I DO?!

YA LADZ LOOK MOIGHTY BATTERED WIFF ALL DA GITZ SHOWIN' UP N ALL DA BRAWLS!

KOME GET YERSELF FIXED UP IN ME KLINIK YA RUNTZ!

MORE DAKKA FOR KRUMPIN

WHAT YOU BOYS FINK?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN ON ?

"ROIT. ME NAYM IZ ZOGWART DA MUSSULYIST." Whether roused by the nob's passion, or drawn by curiosity, or even just looking for a laugh, you have come along to the sound of yelling. This isn't an uncommon sound as an ork, but it's less common for said yelling to be advertised by crude writing and images on bits of grot leather.

A fairly tall ork stands upon a mockup of an IMPERRYUL tank. On the side are slogans like "FOR DA YELLOW GIT", and "WE AR IZ ANGULZ", and even "EMPRAAAAAAAAAGH". The last one has made an especially deep dent in the metal (for all this writing was literally hammered in).

"YOOZ MAY BE CONFOOZD. WELL, OF KORS YUZ AR, YA STOOPID BARSTUDS. WEEZ BEEN LOOZIN' FOITS TO DA IMPERRYUM SINSS OLD BAYUL EYE KAYM BAKK." ZOGWART winces suddenly and reaches up to slap the hair squig on a scalp marked with many bites. "AGH, YUZ LUKKY I ENT PUT YOO ELSSWEH YA GROT."

"ANYWAYZ. WE GOTS TO LERN TO FOIT LOIK DA IMPERRYUM. LOIK DEY DOO WIV DEY UH... ASSASSASSINZIZ. DA WUNZ WIV DA..." His two BIG, MEATY HANDS gestures over his chest. "DA FINGZ... Yooz know... dey- DEY MAYK DEMSELVZ LOOK LOIK UVAH FINGS COZ DEY ENT GOT PURPUL TO SNEEK AROWND WIV. WELL, NEEVER DO WE. WUN UV DA WEERDBOYZ DRANK IT ALL DA LAST TOIM WE ENTURRD DA WARP. STOOPID GROT. 'E STARTID GROWIN' DEM FINGZ ON... on... LOOK, WE GOTTA FOIT LOIK DA IMPERRYUM. SO..." ZOGWART grabs a bucket of black paint. Well, it's something black Good-quality acrylics are hard to find and cost a lot of teef, and the economy's been reeling since the endless teef incident. He dumps it on himself, and then you notice that the jagged-looking armour he's wearing is oddly well-made in places. Good Gork, is that an aquila? What's an aquila anyway?

"I AM KOMMYSAR ZOGWART. YOO WILL FOIT IN MY NAYM. AND IF YOOZ DON'T, I GOT ME INKWIZISSIZ TER SORT YOOZ OWT. AN' DEY ENT DONE HORRIFYING, DEPRAYVID, MADDUND BODILY ALTURAYSHUNZ FER A FEW DAYZ NOW, SO I SURJEST YUZ MAYK PEES WIV GORK AN' MORK... HOO ARE DA REEL GODZ, BUT DON'T FINK ABOWT DAT NOW. EAH." He starts throwing authentic Imperial Guardsman helmets into the crowd, which may or may not exist by now. Many of them still have heads in them, and there's no way in zog you can fit them on your enormous green head... unless you're a grot. One of the helmets hits a grot. ZOGWART cheers. A few other grots shriek, then they reluctantly cheer in turn.

"FURST, I WANT YUZ TER PRAKTISS YUH WAAAAAAAGH FAYSS. GIMME A WAAAAAAAAAAGH FAYSS, LOIK YUZ DUN SEEN ZOGGIN' WUN-EYE 'IZSELF POINT A GRAYT BIG ZOGGIN' SHOOTAH AT YUZ."

I DUN SAW A METULL FING WALKIN AROWND, SO I WENT OVAH TO KRUMP IT, BUT IT 'AD BUGGURD OFF SUMWEAH. AFTUH DAT, I SAW DA STRAYNJEST ZOGGIN' ORK I DUN EVAH SEEN. LADZ, I FINK DERZ A ROWBOT PREETENDIN' TER BE US!

I GOTS TA THINKIN YA, AIN'T NOBODY SEENZ A PURPLE ORK YA, SO IF YOU'Z PURPLE NOBODY GONNA SEE YOU YA, SO YA COULDZ SNEAK INTO DA UMMIE WARBOSS THRONE ROOM AND STEAL 'IS GUBBINZ.

EDIT: /unork I did wonder if this would be a controversial post. I'm seeing the downvotes here; if you lot want me to remove this, I will.
/reORK

I JUST INVENNED A NEW KULLUR. I KALL IT "ORANJ", CUZ I'Z GUNNA ORAYNJ DA REMOOVAL OF ANYBODY HOO DUZENT YOOS IT, STARDING WID DA GROTZ! NOW, LEMME TELL YA FOLKZ, WE'Z GUNNA BILD DA GRAYDEST KROOZA THE GALAKSEE HAZ EVUR SEEN. IT'Z GUNNA BE BEWDIFUL. SO BEWDIFUL AM GUNNA CALL IT DA KRUMP KROOZA. WE'RE GUNNA BILD A HUNDRED OV 'EM. A THOWSAND OV EM. THEN WE'RE GUNNA MAYK A BIG, BEWDIFUL, YOOJ SPAYS-WALL AROWND THE POINTY GITZ SO WE KAN GO WAAAGHING WIDOWT DEYR PSYKIK MEDDLING. WE ARR GUNNA MAYK WAAAGH GRAYT AGENN.

OOC: I had a thought about the Korks and the modern Klanz. What if the surviving Korks didn’t just devolve, but did so in a way that strengthened certain traits leading to the Ork Klanz we see today? Of course, there’s no lore covering this, but I think it is cool to imagine a monstrous Evil Sun or Blood Axe tearing up Necrons.

OI! YOU GITZ WOT IZ MUKKIN ABOWT! I FINK WE NEED TER FINK ABOWT ORK KULTUR AN OW WE TEECH EM WELPS TER BE PROPPA ORKZ!

WOR KULTUR BLOWZ YER AIR SQUIG BACK BEST? IS IT FOITIN? MUKKIN WUV GUBBINZ? PRAPZ ONORIN MORK N GORK? ER IZZIT LOIF AN NATCHUR AN GROWINK FINGZ?

HOORUUUUUUUUUUUSSS!!!!!!!1!1!+!!!!!'!?!!

GET BACK HERE, YOU CAN NOT ESCAPE MEEEEEE!!!

EEEEEAAAAAAAAARGHH!

HORUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!1!!1!!! YOU BITCH I WILL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE GALAXY, RAAAAAAAAAUAUUUGHHH!!

HOOOORUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

IT IS I: TRAZ-- um, TRAZZA DA INFINNIT. INFINNIT DAKKA. YES. IF YOOZ WOULD KINDLY STEP INTO DIS HERE LANDER -- SEE, IT'S GREEN LIKE Y- LIKE US! -- I HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF FIREARMS BLESSED BY GORK AND MORK SO THAT THEY CAN FIRE WITHOUT END. IGNORE THE BUZZING NOISE, THAT'S JUST THE POWER OF YOUR-- OUR PATRON DEITIES.

If this counts as advertising I'll delete it. I just want thoughts.
Back when the (friendly) war began between r/wizardposting and r/pirateposting (and similar subs joined in) I made my own: r/orkposting. The idea is we all do (mostly) light-hearted RP as orks and we bring that RP to the aforementioned subs with the use of standard RP etiquette (no powergaming, no mixing IC and OOC, etcetera). Since I found this sub (and BY GORK AN' MORK OI LUVZ YEW GITZ- sorry) I've had an identity crisis about my own. Is it different enough to be worth keeping?
I admit I did also want to advertise it here, and again, if that's not welcome I'll take this down. I'm asking all this basically to see if I should advertise it here. It's complicated. MAYKZ ME ZOGGIN' 'ED SPIN LOIK DEM RIBBUN FINGS ON A PURPUL GIT.

Da otha gitz kan not see diz thread, itz painted purple

post kommando shtuff!